routinized, scrutinized, mutinized

two of the title words are not recognized by the google dictionary spellings. they're not usually turned into verbs in this way, they are meant to be nouns and things that just happen without any intent. overtly.

however, i feel like college has begun to routinize me, which is not exactly what i would desire for myself, or for anyone i care about. it strips away my ability to frequently make random calls and break from the "normal". classes are great, as i've already said, but i feel mildly constrained by the routine that these classes are pushing on me.

it makes sense to me then that i scrutinize the system that does this to me. after all, are we not taught to think for ourselves in school? ;) i'm not trying to write this in an annoying way, or a rebellious manner. i say this pretty light-heartedly, but i like to examine the vague irony of it. i am routinized by things that i love, and by someone i love, whose voice every night is so calming and intoxicating that it soothes my mind and body to sleep, even if my heart denies me sleep by pounding fiercely inside my tossing and turning body, until i wrap my arms around my pillow and "pretend i am kissin the lips that i am missin".

that's the kind of routine i used to hate about having a girlfriend, but things have changed since that sort of routine came after getting to know her so much better on a friendship level for nearly two months, spending at least an hour or two in conversation with her nearly every single day, face to face, shopping with her for foods both of us can eat, sodas she'll make me finish after her first sip, and tiny pieces of manufactured and discovered oddities in jewelry stores that accentuate beautiful characteristics of her or of any other soul that dons them.

the routine of her voice every night these past two weeks has been really helpful for me. and really enlightening, as well.

so, due to the scrutiny
i've placed on the layers of routine
that affect my every day's and "some day's"
i have determined that i will break away from all of the unhealthy routines
and focus only on the healthy ones, allowing the rest to fit in place
and my branching out--i'll call it mutiny--
will allow me to make some changes
in the way this world views justice.

i declare mutiny against the harmful status quo.

i may only have a semester here at this particular institution, which means i've got a few months to make a mark and make sure as many in the region as possible, are aware of injustice on a global scale, and have begun to find methods of fighting back.

routine scrutinized produces mutiny.

i like it this way ;)

~a poli sci major~

that's what i am.
and i'm proud of it
excited for it
intoxicated by it

never thought i'd see the day where i'd love class ha!
not when i was in seventh grade, no way, man!

but here i am, loving all my classes!

it's strange, but totally cool!

you know it's a good class when you're unable to sit still, leaning forward too eagerly, laughing too much, and smiling like an idiot. normally those would all be signs of lunacy. or, perhaps, even now they are! either way, i've really enjoyed my four classes so far!

Chinese 101: Introduction to Chinese
Political Science 130: American Government
Political Science 280: Comparative Political Systems
History 202: American History 1877-Present

this morning, sitting in my Pols 130 class, i couldn't help but feel a lot like i do when i listen to Coldplay's 'Viva la Vida'! yesterday afternoon, for class, i read the Declaration of Independence and was struck by the similarities of all the things Jefferson indicated warranting a revolt, and all the things that've pissed me off about the Bush administration.

the problem is that there's not enough to engage the masses in such a movement against the standing government. the Declaration even outlines the need and permissions for "abolishing" the government if "abuses" continue. Jefferson also makes allowance for the larger portion of the colonists being willing to "suffer, as long as evils are sufferable" and to feel no larger reason to take action and declare a new Rule.

at this point, in all fairness, what i perceive to be evils in the current government's way of handling things, are not entirely insufferable. i recognize that there is little that can be done at this point, save from joining movements that wage a more figurative war, fought by the People and for the People, in the modes of the common People.

armed struggle is not even yet a remote option. there's not yet any need. as long as there is any semblance of democratic form in the government that stands in reign today, there is certainly apt opportunity to change for the better, to sacrifice the goods of the few for the good of the many.

i am not opposed to armed struggle under duress, in such a situation as it becomes the unavoidable last straw.

UPRISING, the film:

the Jews are being marched out of the ghetto for the express purpose of being carted out to the concentration camps and extermination camps.

a covert handful of the Jews is armed.

as they turn a corner and the column of Nazi troops is no longer connected in a direct line, madness and chaos interrupt the stoic march as this collective of citizen-soldiers opens fire on the soldiers that would coral them to their deaths.

one bullet, one Nazi.

in this firefight there is an open for hope to eek into the darkness of the ghetto.

the Nazis take a surprisingly long time to deal with the uprising, and by the time everything is dealt with, entire companies of soldiers have been exhausted against less than 50 untrained, passionate rebels.

it's in this saga of struggle and sweat and blood that some of the Jews make it to freedom via the sewers. in this saga justice is the victor.

...

i am a political science major, hell-bent on bringing heaven to earth, even if for a fleeting moment, in the lives of the oppressed.

i don't want enemies, but it comes with the territory.

it's the kind of life and future that i must lay everything else down for, and it is so incredibly exciting to be getting more and more involved with other people who are willing to fight and die for such a beautiful cause as justice, for such a sacredness as Shalom.

i'm going deeper.
the oxygen down here is sparse
many will fall back before the end
many will faint
and before i can even get there
many will be lost

but i will not stop.
as long as there is injustice in the world, the Christian's work is not finished.
the Disciple of a Just God must learn to love Justice... and to love it so much that the thirst for it burns in their throat in the most difficult of global regions, while they know that there will be no way to quench such a divine thirst without expending oneself completely in the struggle for truth and beauty and justice.

let it be a final song, perfectly in tune with God's greatest masterpiece!

Shalom, sisters and brothers.

off my chest

when something's bottled up for a while and doesn't go away, it's cool to get it off your chest, even if you risk pain or perpetuating confusion. at least you've said your piece. and now i have peace. and grace to continue.



thanks be to God, my beautiful, adoring Adonai. for you have blessed a humbled man.