a lot of people i trust have told me that God really just wants us to BE with him, to delve in his presence and exist side-by-side, heart-to-heart.
i believe that
but indelibly
i recognize i am a flawed reflection
of that.
as i'm going to divulge later to a dear friend and confidant, in far more detail than i shall here, i have realized that i fall into the trap of either of two extremes...
i either focus immensely on doing too much and planning too much for my life in the future, as well as in the present, or i fail to plan, entirely, and the moment the hope of something in the future fails, i feel as though i am truly alone, and i start wishing i had an other person with whom things could be... "significant."
and then usually, that doesn't end up getting me anywhere without too much pain, for i fail to factor in all that i've ever hoped to DO, and the BEING of that relationship fails.
kapput.
back to square one.
and the moment i plan too much i am attacked for not giving God room to work in my life and in my future, and i am forced to reckon with my loneliness again, even though i was doing a darn good job keeping it at bay as long as i had a task at hand or even simply a few distant, adventurous goals.
i don't like that i do this, and perhaps i'm not the only one struggling with this, but i am the only one who's made it plain to my brain that anyone's dealing with this. ergo, i shall make plans, for to not have any plans would simply be too painful...
but maybe if i find a way to make room for God's plans along the way in mine, maybe then i'll get it right...
i just wonder what kind of girl would be willing to do a journey around southeast Asia, north Africa, or Latin America on motorcycle (or two) in the style of Ernesto Guevara's "Motorcycle Diaries"; what kind of girl would be willing to leave this country for long spurts at a time and travel spartan across deserts and jungles, just to find the truth of human rights in a given corner of earth; what kind of girl would be willing to put any remote possibility of family on hold for up to a decade simply to travel with me, with our God, and with our desire to serve anyone we encounter, at our own expense.
that's what i wonder, and that's why it's always looked easier to roll solo down the road.
God, since you're in charge, you tell me what i need to do, or how i need to be, ok?
ok.
thanks.
Showing posts with label God. Show all posts
Showing posts with label God. Show all posts
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Sunday, July 27, 2008
what if i stumble, what if i fall?
as Rob Bell has pointed out in one of his sermon's i've watched, everything is spiritual. there is to be no separation between our spirits and our bodies.
if that be the case then why do i struggle to stand so often?
i have many close friends whom i look to for guidance in life, people i imagine to be more strongly in touch with the Father. i look to them when i am weak in my walk. i look to them when i don't feel weak even (which may be when i am truly weakest, at times) and i see their example to be almost unattainable.
as many have struggled with over the years, i wonder if i am no longer simply IN the world, and if i've not become, somewhere along my self-infatuated path, OF the world.
in my efforts to be relevant i've only weakened the message and power of the Gospel.
each time i think i'm starting to get back on track i see that a friend is so much MORE excited about God than i am, and that they broadcast it more publicly than i. and i crumple, for i do not wish to be like them. i do not want to be known simply for shouting on and on of how much i'm in love with Jesus. i don't want to look to people like Jesus is all that i think about, though he most often is EXACTLY what i wish i could be channeled into 100% of the time. i just don't want to come across as though i'm saying i am "holier than thou". which is perhaps what i feel like when i look at others so seemingly in love with Jesus and at peace for it.
and this is the part in the story where i realize it is incredibly likely i am frankly OF the world.
and i don't know how to regain my stance of being in, and not of...
i see now that i am avoiding exactly what i want because i hate the idea of being titled and labeled and named as "one of them". it is not fear of association, as much as it is fear of being stuck, dependent under one title, one label alone.
and yet as much as i know my only real claim to any identity comes through Christ's claim on me, as a human trying to make an impact, and avoid stereotypes, i try to outrun his grace, love, and possession of my heart that i absolutely want him alone to have.
i am a stupid mule who is ignoring the call of the only farmer who will give me rest from the cold, tired world, just because i don't want to be seen as the one who wimped out and couldn't make it on his own. even though i know it is the best possible thing in this world for me, and maybe there's not even enough people watching me to see me "wimp out."
a strange place indeed, Watson.
if that be the case then why do i struggle to stand so often?
i have many close friends whom i look to for guidance in life, people i imagine to be more strongly in touch with the Father. i look to them when i am weak in my walk. i look to them when i don't feel weak even (which may be when i am truly weakest, at times) and i see their example to be almost unattainable.
as many have struggled with over the years, i wonder if i am no longer simply IN the world, and if i've not become, somewhere along my self-infatuated path, OF the world.
in my efforts to be relevant i've only weakened the message and power of the Gospel.
each time i think i'm starting to get back on track i see that a friend is so much MORE excited about God than i am, and that they broadcast it more publicly than i. and i crumple, for i do not wish to be like them. i do not want to be known simply for shouting on and on of how much i'm in love with Jesus. i don't want to look to people like Jesus is all that i think about, though he most often is EXACTLY what i wish i could be channeled into 100% of the time. i just don't want to come across as though i'm saying i am "holier than thou". which is perhaps what i feel like when i look at others so seemingly in love with Jesus and at peace for it.
and this is the part in the story where i realize it is incredibly likely i am frankly OF the world.
and i don't know how to regain my stance of being in, and not of...
i see now that i am avoiding exactly what i want because i hate the idea of being titled and labeled and named as "one of them". it is not fear of association, as much as it is fear of being stuck, dependent under one title, one label alone.
and yet as much as i know my only real claim to any identity comes through Christ's claim on me, as a human trying to make an impact, and avoid stereotypes, i try to outrun his grace, love, and possession of my heart that i absolutely want him alone to have.
i am a stupid mule who is ignoring the call of the only farmer who will give me rest from the cold, tired world, just because i don't want to be seen as the one who wimped out and couldn't make it on his own. even though i know it is the best possible thing in this world for me, and maybe there's not even enough people watching me to see me "wimp out."
a strange place indeed, Watson.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
"breathing through fear"
two days ago i walked outside during my break in the middle of my math class in order to step into the warm, breezy, dark afternoon sphere that captivated my attention in every waking moment that day until i stood in it.
i had been reading a moving, strange poem written in 1968 by a man named Juan Gelman of Argentina, entitled "Conversations."
centered around the author's feelings in relation to the recent loss in the hero named Ernesto 'Che' Guevara, the words stirred in me a desire to write verse.
and after my walk, barefoot through the mud around a new building site on campus, i sat down in the classroom in the moments before we reinitiated the lecture and put pen to the paper, finding within me, these words:
"Breathing Through Fear"
[Archer. 22 July 2008]
it's funny to me the heads that turn
the eyes that burn into me, my jacket,
my beloved Esther alive in earth tones,
ensconced in warm dirt and clay.
i walk unshod
the sole figure
an embraced soul
the bleedings soles
through the mud
and burning sand
spirit in hand
the wind dies
to just a whisper
i tread through treads
of yellow beasts far bigger than i
holding my own
breathing through fear
thick in the air
He in my ear
He, the wind, and my warm feet
what else could i need?
.PAX.
-Archer
i had been reading a moving, strange poem written in 1968 by a man named Juan Gelman of Argentina, entitled "Conversations."
centered around the author's feelings in relation to the recent loss in the hero named Ernesto 'Che' Guevara, the words stirred in me a desire to write verse.
and after my walk, barefoot through the mud around a new building site on campus, i sat down in the classroom in the moments before we reinitiated the lecture and put pen to the paper, finding within me, these words:
"Breathing Through Fear"
[Archer. 22 July 2008]
it's funny to me the heads that turn
the eyes that burn into me, my jacket,
my beloved Esther alive in earth tones,
ensconced in warm dirt and clay.
i walk unshod
the sole figure
an embraced soul
the bleedings soles
through the mud
and burning sand
spirit in hand
the wind dies
to just a whisper
i tread through treads
of yellow beasts far bigger than i
holding my own
breathing through fear
thick in the air
He in my ear
He, the wind, and my warm feet
what else could i need?
.PAX.
-Archer
a journey renewed... again.
if anyone reading this has known me well for over a year you'll definitely recognize these sentiments, especially if i knew you at the end of my spring semester at Lakeland. and there may be a few of you who recognize these exact thoughts if i spoke with you about this in Africa.
i wrote this a week ago in an attempt to understand myself and get some things out on paper. it was unfinished, but maybe i'll like it better this way.
--
my mind is racing. the Jesus of Peace. the God of Justice--would they think this right?
a monster taking on the bigger monster.
theoretically, in being armed, i can kill.
i can take life. not yet, for i am thus far unarmed,
but in the future. three, four, maybe five years, and i'll have the capacity.
but can i pull the trigger?
what hat will i wear?
will i be undercover?
will i be a badge?
or don a suit?
what about combat boots, camo, and a bandana?
will i go guerilla to "seek justice"?
will i be seen as a terrorist, murderer, snake?
or will i even ever really take a life?
in defending the poor and oppressed, will the Prince of Peace fade to the background?
will his call be lost in gunfire?
will i ignore his will?
if no one is to perish, perhaps i can help, and simply aim low-- just high and hard enough to bring them down so they cannot rise again.
can i shatter your bones in your legs and kick your face into the mud and know that you'll walk away from your crime?
--
tell me what you all think, please. every time i think this way i find something that swings me back to the other extreme end of the pendulum and i loathe any hint of violence.
and then again i see violence succeed in releasing captives of cruelty.
and then i remember there's no such thing as redemptive violence.
and then i think to myself, "is rescuing violence the same as redemptive violence?"
war is not the answer. invasion is wrong. occupation is wrong. but what about insurrection? what about violent uprising within a country in order to gain liberation?
i am stuck. i could go for a coffee date or a phone call with anyone interested in talking about this stuff.
peace.
amani.
veritas.
i wrote this a week ago in an attempt to understand myself and get some things out on paper. it was unfinished, but maybe i'll like it better this way.
--
my mind is racing. the Jesus of Peace. the God of Justice--would they think this right?
a monster taking on the bigger monster.
theoretically, in being armed, i can kill.
i can take life. not yet, for i am thus far unarmed,
but in the future. three, four, maybe five years, and i'll have the capacity.
but can i pull the trigger?
what hat will i wear?
will i be undercover?
will i be a badge?
or don a suit?
what about combat boots, camo, and a bandana?
will i go guerilla to "seek justice"?
will i be seen as a terrorist, murderer, snake?
or will i even ever really take a life?
in defending the poor and oppressed, will the Prince of Peace fade to the background?
will his call be lost in gunfire?
will i ignore his will?
if no one is to perish, perhaps i can help, and simply aim low-- just high and hard enough to bring them down so they cannot rise again.
can i shatter your bones in your legs and kick your face into the mud and know that you'll walk away from your crime?
--
tell me what you all think, please. every time i think this way i find something that swings me back to the other extreme end of the pendulum and i loathe any hint of violence.
and then again i see violence succeed in releasing captives of cruelty.
and then i remember there's no such thing as redemptive violence.
and then i think to myself, "is rescuing violence the same as redemptive violence?"
war is not the answer. invasion is wrong. occupation is wrong. but what about insurrection? what about violent uprising within a country in order to gain liberation?
i am stuck. i could go for a coffee date or a phone call with anyone interested in talking about this stuff.
peace.
amani.
veritas.
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Sunday!
today is the first sunday i've had off work since like two months ago! the weather outside is bloody brilliant!
(here's a look at my view from the library's second floor! and then one of me, chillin here, too!)
in about an hour and a half i'll have walked across a lovely little wooden bridge over a creek through many green backyards, and arrived at the house of some friends from church where i'll be worshipping with them together in the setting of their home church... i.e. church done the way it once was, back 2000 years ago... including a taco bar when we're finished haha! (ok, maybe peter, paul, and mary never had quite this kind of fiesta, but you get the picture!)
i had a lovely lunch, drove around a bit with the windows down, blasting great music and enjoying the view (for once, Indiana's farms actually become incredibly appealing lol!) and now, as you know, i'm chillin at the library while micah reads and i watch a couple old-school episodes of Disney channel's 'So Weird'... from like seriously 6 or 7 years ago! man this show rocks!
as i've come to discover... Peace is good, it is very good indeed.
PAX.
-archer
(here's a look at my view from the library's second floor! and then one of me, chillin here, too!)
in about an hour and a half i'll have walked across a lovely little wooden bridge over a creek through many green backyards, and arrived at the house of some friends from church where i'll be worshipping with them together in the setting of their home church... i.e. church done the way it once was, back 2000 years ago... including a taco bar when we're finished haha! (ok, maybe peter, paul, and mary never had quite this kind of fiesta, but you get the picture!)
i had a lovely lunch, drove around a bit with the windows down, blasting great music and enjoying the view (for once, Indiana's farms actually become incredibly appealing lol!) and now, as you know, i'm chillin at the library while micah reads and i watch a couple old-school episodes of Disney channel's 'So Weird'... from like seriously 6 or 7 years ago! man this show rocks!
as i've come to discover... Peace is good, it is very good indeed.
PAX.
-archer
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
confession (round 2)
last May i posted about several major character flaws of mine.
since that time i haven't really had too many opportunities to say anything further on the topic of my character flaws. but now i've come up with a reason for that to change.
i've got another character flaw to address and willingly expose to the few who don't already see this in me. tonight i had a bit of a chance to reflect on all my past relationships with girlfriends... i was driving home from a Bible study where the leader's daughter (a friend of my little sister) said something along the lines of, "so, i heard you got engaged in Africa?" apparently my sister had not only blabbed to this friend, but to a hand-full of other friends i've never even met, not to mention this friend tonight told her mother, and i've already told her father, in another related discussion.
it doesn't really bother me at all that people know this about me (as long as i'm able to explain and contextualize that statement!) fact of the matter is that i was, in fact, according to cultural norms, engaged to a girl i met on my team in Arusha, simply because i found her attractive and she caught on. it was all a whirlwind from there. we ended up fine by the end of it, sticking to our single selves, however, somewhere along the lines i'd further damaged my credibility, and apparently, she had as well. or i had done so, for her. i don't really know, or comprehend it all.
the point is, including the fact that i've been engaged already and "broken it off" (though i was oblivious of the severity of it until about a month and a half later!) i've simply had too many girlfriends too deal with myself. i'm not proud of it, and it's shown me just how weak i really am in this area.
i wear a purity ring. it's a small, ding-ed up silver ring on my left ring finger. from over 5 feet away, looks like i'm married. i look over 20, sometimes as old as 26, apparently... basically, with this ring on, i look untouchable.
that's just the way i want it to be for now--i'm still trying to go a couple years on my own, just workin things out with God, since i really haven't had such a chance since my sophomore year of high school... ergo it's time for a bleedin' break!
basically, i mess up. i ROYALLY mess up. i go back and forth between the Reign of Over-Zealous and the Reigned-in Over-Cautious! apparently, subconsciously i think that firing both kinds of weapons will balance things out and create a pleasant, neutral reaction. sometimes i get lucky (i.e. not dumb) and i ease in a statement here or there, where it could've been quite explosive instead, and totally read in the wrong (or right) way! thankfully, that hasn't happened too recently... barely.
just trying to hold myself together, and keep my sights on Aslan, and not get too tripped up trying to play the field for the time being. i've done enough of that at this point. i apologize to all whom i've hurt. please forgive me.
hopefully this next stint on earth will prove better-handled.
PAX.
since that time i haven't really had too many opportunities to say anything further on the topic of my character flaws. but now i've come up with a reason for that to change.
i've got another character flaw to address and willingly expose to the few who don't already see this in me. tonight i had a bit of a chance to reflect on all my past relationships with girlfriends... i was driving home from a Bible study where the leader's daughter (a friend of my little sister) said something along the lines of, "so, i heard you got engaged in Africa?" apparently my sister had not only blabbed to this friend, but to a hand-full of other friends i've never even met, not to mention this friend tonight told her mother, and i've already told her father, in another related discussion.
it doesn't really bother me at all that people know this about me (as long as i'm able to explain and contextualize that statement!) fact of the matter is that i was, in fact, according to cultural norms, engaged to a girl i met on my team in Arusha, simply because i found her attractive and she caught on. it was all a whirlwind from there. we ended up fine by the end of it, sticking to our single selves, however, somewhere along the lines i'd further damaged my credibility, and apparently, she had as well. or i had done so, for her. i don't really know, or comprehend it all.
the point is, including the fact that i've been engaged already and "broken it off" (though i was oblivious of the severity of it until about a month and a half later!) i've simply had too many girlfriends too deal with myself. i'm not proud of it, and it's shown me just how weak i really am in this area.
i wear a purity ring. it's a small, ding-ed up silver ring on my left ring finger. from over 5 feet away, looks like i'm married. i look over 20, sometimes as old as 26, apparently... basically, with this ring on, i look untouchable.
that's just the way i want it to be for now--i'm still trying to go a couple years on my own, just workin things out with God, since i really haven't had such a chance since my sophomore year of high school... ergo it's time for a bleedin' break!
basically, i mess up. i ROYALLY mess up. i go back and forth between the Reign of Over-Zealous and the Reigned-in Over-Cautious! apparently, subconsciously i think that firing both kinds of weapons will balance things out and create a pleasant, neutral reaction. sometimes i get lucky (i.e. not dumb) and i ease in a statement here or there, where it could've been quite explosive instead, and totally read in the wrong (or right) way! thankfully, that hasn't happened too recently... barely.
just trying to hold myself together, and keep my sights on Aslan, and not get too tripped up trying to play the field for the time being. i've done enough of that at this point. i apologize to all whom i've hurt. please forgive me.
hopefully this next stint on earth will prove better-handled.
PAX.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
off my chest
when something's bottled up for a while and doesn't go away, it's cool to get it off your chest, even if you risk pain or perpetuating confusion. at least you've said your piece. and now i have peace. and grace to continue.
thanks be to God, my beautiful, adoring Adonai. for you have blessed a humbled man.
thanks be to God, my beautiful, adoring Adonai. for you have blessed a humbled man.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Smile Empty Soul vs. An Unforgettable Pair
i found this video on youtube.
the song's 'This Is War' by Smile Empty Soul
the lyrics are profane, but otherwise not graphic, and the scenes from Black Hawk Down are gruesome, but it fits, in a poetical justice sort of way.
here's the chorus:
"i drove in a car
i flew in a plane
to come to your house
and kick your door in
and now that it's down to this
it's just you and me
i'll blow your f----- head off
for my country"
----
i know half the time all i do on this blog is complain about war and war crimes and human rights abuses.
i know there are lovely flowers out there, but sometimes the stench of death and war can overcome the soft fragrance of flowers.
i don't think i'll stop writing about this stuff every now and then until every last person recognizes that we all need to be "anti-war" in order to let love in.
as an example, today after work i went to a coffee shop i'm falling in love with, down on Main Street today, just myself and my books, and a couple dollars. i ended up only reading about two paragraphs before getting so wrapped up in a fun conversation with Michelle--the girl who served me my regular 16oz. and a mocha that she decorated just for me, since she felt she forced it on me (just so she could make a pretty design) who's hoping to study forensic science in the fall (and already has the "geek's guide" to it--and Greg--a regular customer at Jerry's shop, a good friend of Jerry's, and an expert on experimenting with cigars and making jokes and being welcoming (who has a half-smoked cigar in the ash-tray of his truck and is happily divorced, and doesn't watch many movies).
it was cool. we talked about whatever, for almost an hour, informally, and i came to really like them. i hope i'll run into em both on the same day again, it was really cool. i realized that just having a conversation with them made me really care about them. kinda weird, and over-sappy, but it was cool.
if we just take the time (and have the guts) to talk to someone, we could enjoy an invaluable connection, and the world will become smaller, and nobody will really be a stranger (or enemy) any longer.
thanks God, you made my day with that pair!
pax.
the song's 'This Is War' by Smile Empty Soul
the lyrics are profane, but otherwise not graphic, and the scenes from Black Hawk Down are gruesome, but it fits, in a poetical justice sort of way.
here's the chorus:
"i drove in a car
i flew in a plane
to come to your house
and kick your door in
and now that it's down to this
it's just you and me
i'll blow your f----- head off
for my country"
----
i know half the time all i do on this blog is complain about war and war crimes and human rights abuses.
i know there are lovely flowers out there, but sometimes the stench of death and war can overcome the soft fragrance of flowers.
i don't think i'll stop writing about this stuff every now and then until every last person recognizes that we all need to be "anti-war" in order to let love in.
as an example, today after work i went to a coffee shop i'm falling in love with, down on Main Street today, just myself and my books, and a couple dollars. i ended up only reading about two paragraphs before getting so wrapped up in a fun conversation with Michelle--the girl who served me my regular 16oz. and a mocha that she decorated just for me, since she felt she forced it on me (just so she could make a pretty design) who's hoping to study forensic science in the fall (and already has the "geek's guide" to it--and Greg--a regular customer at Jerry's shop, a good friend of Jerry's, and an expert on experimenting with cigars and making jokes and being welcoming (who has a half-smoked cigar in the ash-tray of his truck and is happily divorced, and doesn't watch many movies).
it was cool. we talked about whatever, for almost an hour, informally, and i came to really like them. i hope i'll run into em both on the same day again, it was really cool. i realized that just having a conversation with them made me really care about them. kinda weird, and over-sappy, but it was cool.
if we just take the time (and have the guts) to talk to someone, we could enjoy an invaluable connection, and the world will become smaller, and nobody will really be a stranger (or enemy) any longer.
thanks God, you made my day with that pair!
pax.
Monday, February 11, 2008
probably strange... came out of nowhere, huh?
Hey everyone, i know this probably seems to have come out of freakin nowhere! and to some extent it did. i'm finally having a some time alone with God, at this very moment, and i just wanted to say how beautiful God really is.
i personally forget it all too often. maybe we all do. i encourage us all to turn to our God, and seek the truth of his love and grace, and the beauty of his face.
without him, i'd have nothing real to offer anyone on here. i don't remember who said this, but i love it:
"what a man is, on his knees, before the LORD,
that he is, and nothing more."
yeah, sounds about right. i know i play myself and my work up (personally just me, i'm saying) to be something big. i really do believe it is. but i think i put too much of the guts and glory on myself whenever i start talking about my activism. this was never the intended outcome. but it happens all too often. i love my work, i love what i do! but i can't let it be the main focus of my heart, or else my heart will shrivel and dry up under strain and pressure. this is where God comes in, and if i'm diligent about going back to him, then i'll have no issues of how strong and full my heart is. my God is a God who loves and cares so deeply for ALL his children. he'd do anything (and did everything) to see his children get the best for them, in this life!
my God definitely cares about human rights, if he cares at all about his children. i like to think my work is done with him, as a friend and partner and servant and son, all at the same time. this way i can do it with perfect love even if my actions do not seem perfect.
PAX.
i personally forget it all too often. maybe we all do. i encourage us all to turn to our God, and seek the truth of his love and grace, and the beauty of his face.
without him, i'd have nothing real to offer anyone on here. i don't remember who said this, but i love it:
"what a man is, on his knees, before the LORD,
that he is, and nothing more."
yeah, sounds about right. i know i play myself and my work up (personally just me, i'm saying) to be something big. i really do believe it is. but i think i put too much of the guts and glory on myself whenever i start talking about my activism. this was never the intended outcome. but it happens all too often. i love my work, i love what i do! but i can't let it be the main focus of my heart, or else my heart will shrivel and dry up under strain and pressure. this is where God comes in, and if i'm diligent about going back to him, then i'll have no issues of how strong and full my heart is. my God is a God who loves and cares so deeply for ALL his children. he'd do anything (and did everything) to see his children get the best for them, in this life!
my God definitely cares about human rights, if he cares at all about his children. i like to think my work is done with him, as a friend and partner and servant and son, all at the same time. this way i can do it with perfect love even if my actions do not seem perfect.
PAX.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
politics aside
Post Author: Archer
i read this AP article last night thru Yahoo News:
http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/world/20080130-1256-kenya-ethniccleansing.html
-'12:56 p.m. January 30, 2008
KISUMU, Kenya – The young man hefting a machete at the burning roadblock was frustrated. He'd been looking for five days, but could not find a member of the Kikuyu tribe to kill.
Members of Kenya's biggest tribe have disappeared in their thousands from Kisumu, making it the first – but perhaps not the last – city to be ethnically cleansed.'-
as i said in my last entry, i am no fan of Kibaki, and right now the thought of facing a Kikuyu in the streets terrifies me (and i fear for my dear friend Furaha, a non-Kikuyu Kenyan surviving in Nairobi right now and attempting to find a safe way back to her home in Kakamega, northwest of Kisumu, in western Kenya, not far from Lake Victoria.
i am no fan, indeed, but this is just digusting.
-'“If we find any Kikuyus, we're going to slaughter them or burn them alive,” 19-year-old Daniel Odongo said Wednesday, who wielded the machete...'-
KENYA!!!! shut up and listen! It seems your leaders don't care about you anymore at all, or else the over 800 dead would be enough to get them to sit down and talk. Face to Face.
KENYA!!!! ignore your leaders! let them deal with the politics themselves, but grow up and face your countrymen with love! put down your machetes and torches! let the civilians be civil and the government govern! Damnit, we don't want another Rwanda, or another Darfur, or another Somalia!
KENYA!!!! you used to be the beacon of light in East Africa! what happened?! were these ethnic hatreds too unbearable that suddenly you can't sit down to share the same bowl just because you disagree about who's won the election?!
KENYA!!!! believe me, brothers and sisters--we ALL have our opinions of who really won, and who should be in power and who should not! one of my friends, Doreen, has absolutely no intention of killing our friends Furaha and Patrick just because they voted for Odinga! i just spent five months surrounded by about 15 Kenyans who were divided politically, and there was absolutely no bloodshed!
KENYA!!!! you say you are Christians.... your nation is supposed to be EIGHTY PERCENT CHRISTIAN!!! where is your love, o brothers?!
KENYA!!!! show courage when you're not holding a machete! show courage and strength when called on to remove a roadblock, rather than light a huge tire on fire! show humility and be content with disagreement!
...if you cannot coexist in love and humility, may God have his way with you all, my beloved brothers and sisters.
stop staining your land, o beautiful Kenyans... stop killing your families...
God bring them peace before you bring them judgment. Yet not my will, but yours be done.
--Archer
i read this AP article last night thru Yahoo News:
http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/world/20080130-1256-kenya-ethniccleansing.html
-'12:56 p.m. January 30, 2008
KISUMU, Kenya – The young man hefting a machete at the burning roadblock was frustrated. He'd been looking for five days, but could not find a member of the Kikuyu tribe to kill.
Members of Kenya's biggest tribe have disappeared in their thousands from Kisumu, making it the first – but perhaps not the last – city to be ethnically cleansed.'-
as i said in my last entry, i am no fan of Kibaki, and right now the thought of facing a Kikuyu in the streets terrifies me (and i fear for my dear friend Furaha, a non-Kikuyu Kenyan surviving in Nairobi right now and attempting to find a safe way back to her home in Kakamega, northwest of Kisumu, in western Kenya, not far from Lake Victoria.
i am no fan, indeed, but this is just digusting.
-'“If we find any Kikuyus, we're going to slaughter them or burn them alive,” 19-year-old Daniel Odongo said Wednesday, who wielded the machete...'-
KENYA!!!! shut up and listen! It seems your leaders don't care about you anymore at all, or else the over 800 dead would be enough to get them to sit down and talk. Face to Face.
KENYA!!!! ignore your leaders! let them deal with the politics themselves, but grow up and face your countrymen with love! put down your machetes and torches! let the civilians be civil and the government govern! Damnit, we don't want another Rwanda, or another Darfur, or another Somalia!
KENYA!!!! you used to be the beacon of light in East Africa! what happened?! were these ethnic hatreds too unbearable that suddenly you can't sit down to share the same bowl just because you disagree about who's won the election?!
KENYA!!!! believe me, brothers and sisters--we ALL have our opinions of who really won, and who should be in power and who should not! one of my friends, Doreen, has absolutely no intention of killing our friends Furaha and Patrick just because they voted for Odinga! i just spent five months surrounded by about 15 Kenyans who were divided politically, and there was absolutely no bloodshed!
KENYA!!!! you say you are Christians.... your nation is supposed to be EIGHTY PERCENT CHRISTIAN!!! where is your love, o brothers?!
KENYA!!!! show courage when you're not holding a machete! show courage and strength when called on to remove a roadblock, rather than light a huge tire on fire! show humility and be content with disagreement!
...if you cannot coexist in love and humility, may God have his way with you all, my beloved brothers and sisters.
stop staining your land, o beautiful Kenyans... stop killing your families...
God bring them peace before you bring them judgment. Yet not my will, but yours be done.
--Archer
Monday, January 14, 2008
Somalia, Kenya, and other death wishes...
apparently the US government has just told all US citizens not to travel to Kenya because of the disorder.
Somolia's out of the question for most normal westerners (especially americans) anyway.
and i was going to try to travel to Kenya after my DTS, with my friend Joy, who lives in Kisumu. she and i have been tracking all of the stories on my radio here at the base, that thankfully i was wise enough to bring on outreach in Mwanza. it became our staple. especially in the bush-bush of Nassa.
but i felt God telling me to go home. i don't have the money to get there, to postpone my flight, or to survive for two weeks as i'd hoped. i wanted to go and take pictures, to march, to go to rallies, to comfort the victims, and to try to reach out to the leaders. but God is apparently not sending me there.
but i still feel him sending me to Somalia. there's a huge peace about it, and at the same time a crazy excitement that tickles the edges of my senses, like flames licking at the edge of paper before it goes up in smoke. it's an all-consuming fire right on the edge of my being, and here i am, waiting and praying for the doorway into that hellish place--the Horn of Africa.
since 1991 when a coup d'etat toppled the government, there have been about 15 attempts at a new, stable government. for just over a year now, Ethiopia has been running the show, since taking Mogadishu on December 28, 2006. they might be the longest running controller in recent years. i don't really know too much about it.
but for some reason, i'm pretty sure it's where i've got to go. i don't know exactly when or how (hopefully with Amnesty International, trying to stabalize everything from a human rights vantage point), but only God knows now.
i need to brush up on my Arabic before i get the green-light.
and get a better camera.
and a couple important licenses to aid me in various sectors of life there.
and i need to finish reading the Qu'ran.
and the Bible.
hehe... :) like i said, there's that heated excitement!
pray for me, dear brothers and sisters, as i pray for you.
PAX.
Somolia's out of the question for most normal westerners (especially americans) anyway.
and i was going to try to travel to Kenya after my DTS, with my friend Joy, who lives in Kisumu. she and i have been tracking all of the stories on my radio here at the base, that thankfully i was wise enough to bring on outreach in Mwanza. it became our staple. especially in the bush-bush of Nassa.
but i felt God telling me to go home. i don't have the money to get there, to postpone my flight, or to survive for two weeks as i'd hoped. i wanted to go and take pictures, to march, to go to rallies, to comfort the victims, and to try to reach out to the leaders. but God is apparently not sending me there.
but i still feel him sending me to Somalia. there's a huge peace about it, and at the same time a crazy excitement that tickles the edges of my senses, like flames licking at the edge of paper before it goes up in smoke. it's an all-consuming fire right on the edge of my being, and here i am, waiting and praying for the doorway into that hellish place--the Horn of Africa.
since 1991 when a coup d'etat toppled the government, there have been about 15 attempts at a new, stable government. for just over a year now, Ethiopia has been running the show, since taking Mogadishu on December 28, 2006. they might be the longest running controller in recent years. i don't really know too much about it.
but for some reason, i'm pretty sure it's where i've got to go. i don't know exactly when or how (hopefully with Amnesty International, trying to stabalize everything from a human rights vantage point), but only God knows now.
i need to brush up on my Arabic before i get the green-light.
and get a better camera.
and a couple important licenses to aid me in various sectors of life there.
and i need to finish reading the Qu'ran.
and the Bible.
hehe... :) like i said, there's that heated excitement!
pray for me, dear brothers and sisters, as i pray for you.
PAX.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
i should tell you...
...that i'm back now. to some that might be exciting, interesting, and jolly news. to others, however, it may be a drawback because Krissi's writings have been so interesting! they'll no doubt continue, but every now and then i'll be chiming in too!
Mwanza was great, but way hotter than Arusha. glad to be back to the city where i can actually sleep with a shirt and pants on inside my sleeping bag!
while there, i fell in love with Somalia.
...i forded a river south of Lake Victoria--barefoot.
...i have washed my hands in Lake Victoria, the day after Christmas.
...i have walked several kilometers barefoot through the fields between Magu and the Lake, with three Maasai warrior friends of mine (who have all killed lions)!
...i have gotten a worm and recovered miraculously in a day (as opposed to the standard week or so it should have taken. (and got to ride on the back of the pastor's motorcycle to and from the hospital! awesomeness!)
...i preached the truth of the grace of Jesus being enough in a society where good works is all that matters.
...i preached the truth that we are still sinners and no better than the non-Christians around us, in a society where distinction between "saved" and "unsaved", and titles like Uingelisti (Evangelist) are status symbols.
...i also started my own "bar ministry" with my friend Jeff across from our open-air meetings, and simply by playing pool with a bunch of the guys every night, i think they saw Jesus' real love for them.
...i was also yelled at by other members of the Church for spending time with the guys at the bar when we did, which makes me wonder if maybe we were really doing something right there!
...and (possibly the best story of all) i have been stung by a scorpion, and lived to tell the tale (even though for the first twenty seconds i thought i was a dead man, and even forgot to pray, as i was so consumed by panic!) thanks to the simple remedy of rubbing graphite into incisions cut around the sting point!
God has been good.
oh yeah, one more thing...
...i've also decided to try to make it two years single, just devoting my attention to God. so, come Christmas eve, 2009, i'll hopefully have grown so close to God that no girl can distract me. and i've also decided the only girl i want is one who brings me closer to God when we talk. i might already know who that is. i'm not sure. i'm praying. maybe she is, too. yeah, she probably is.
God has been good.
and more importantly,
God has been.
and i've come to learn that that's often more than enough!
i've gotta go write a really important letter to that girl i hinted at, above, so i'm gonna leave you with the peace of Christ. and with the grace to know that you're all he wants. not your works, your religion, or your service. no, just simply you.
PAX.
-archer
Mwanza was great, but way hotter than Arusha. glad to be back to the city where i can actually sleep with a shirt and pants on inside my sleeping bag!
while there, i fell in love with Somalia.
...i forded a river south of Lake Victoria--barefoot.
...i have washed my hands in Lake Victoria, the day after Christmas.
...i have walked several kilometers barefoot through the fields between Magu and the Lake, with three Maasai warrior friends of mine (who have all killed lions)!
...i have gotten a worm and recovered miraculously in a day (as opposed to the standard week or so it should have taken. (and got to ride on the back of the pastor's motorcycle to and from the hospital! awesomeness!)
...i preached the truth of the grace of Jesus being enough in a society where good works is all that matters.
...i preached the truth that we are still sinners and no better than the non-Christians around us, in a society where distinction between "saved" and "unsaved", and titles like Uingelisti (Evangelist) are status symbols.
...i also started my own "bar ministry" with my friend Jeff across from our open-air meetings, and simply by playing pool with a bunch of the guys every night, i think they saw Jesus' real love for them.
...i was also yelled at by other members of the Church for spending time with the guys at the bar when we did, which makes me wonder if maybe we were really doing something right there!
...and (possibly the best story of all) i have been stung by a scorpion, and lived to tell the tale (even though for the first twenty seconds i thought i was a dead man, and even forgot to pray, as i was so consumed by panic!) thanks to the simple remedy of rubbing graphite into incisions cut around the sting point!
God has been good.
oh yeah, one more thing...
...i've also decided to try to make it two years single, just devoting my attention to God. so, come Christmas eve, 2009, i'll hopefully have grown so close to God that no girl can distract me. and i've also decided the only girl i want is one who brings me closer to God when we talk. i might already know who that is. i'm not sure. i'm praying. maybe she is, too. yeah, she probably is.
God has been good.
and more importantly,
God has been.
and i've come to learn that that's often more than enough!
i've gotta go write a really important letter to that girl i hinted at, above, so i'm gonna leave you with the peace of Christ. and with the grace to know that you're all he wants. not your works, your religion, or your service. no, just simply you.
PAX.
-archer
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
being lonely...
can be something wonderful when you want to be lonely.
Today I wanted to be on my own. I didn't want anyone around me. I just wanted to thing about some stuff, get rid of some stuff which was on my mind and I need time to talk to God in silent.
So I went out to my favorite place. It's about 1 mile away from home.
I walked there with my mp3-player. I listened to some music and when I finally arrived there I sat down on that bench next to the statue made out of stone. This statue means something special to me. It was placed at that beautiful place the year I started to believe and gave my life in God's hands.
The statue shows a father and in his arms is a crying child.
At the bottom of the statue is 'Deine Güte reicht soweit der Himmel ist' (Your kindness is as far as heaven stretches) written. And yes, this verse of the bible is exactly what the place is about. When you look to your right, there's a small forest and in summer you sit on that bench right next to the birds in the trees and over your head is this huge tree with all its leaves.
To your left, there are fields and when you look straight ahead you can see the Swabian Albs, these mountains seem to be so near by but even so far away. Yes, God's kindness is as far as heaven stretches.
And every time I'm right there at that lovely place, at my place I feel lonely but I love it.
I feel free their, I feel like I can do everything I want to. I just feel good.
I wish you to have such a place as well
God bless you
-Krissi
Today I wanted to be on my own. I didn't want anyone around me. I just wanted to thing about some stuff, get rid of some stuff which was on my mind and I need time to talk to God in silent.
So I went out to my favorite place. It's about 1 mile away from home.
I walked there with my mp3-player. I listened to some music and when I finally arrived there I sat down on that bench next to the statue made out of stone. This statue means something special to me. It was placed at that beautiful place the year I started to believe and gave my life in God's hands.
The statue shows a father and in his arms is a crying child.
At the bottom of the statue is 'Deine Güte reicht soweit der Himmel ist' (Your kindness is as far as heaven stretches) written. And yes, this verse of the bible is exactly what the place is about. When you look to your right, there's a small forest and in summer you sit on that bench right next to the birds in the trees and over your head is this huge tree with all its leaves.
To your left, there are fields and when you look straight ahead you can see the Swabian Albs, these mountains seem to be so near by but even so far away. Yes, God's kindness is as far as heaven stretches.
And every time I'm right there at that lovely place, at my place I feel lonely but I love it.
I feel free their, I feel like I can do everything I want to. I just feel good.
I wish you to have such a place as well
God bless you
-Krissi
Friday, December 14, 2007
the first blog entry of Krissi
Hey!
Archer asked me to write some blog entries during the time he’s on his outreach and Punjabican is on her winter break from school.
It’s some kind of weird for me to blog here because this blog has always been Archer’s for me.
He has always been the one who blogged most of the time and I don’t really know what to write about, especially because I need to write in English and it’s hard for me to find the right English words to say what I mean.
So I just want to introduce myself to the ones who read this blog:
I’m Krissi, I’m from
I’m a Christian who has many questions about God, the bible, the right belief and how I can live my life the way God wants me to live it.
I believe in God.
I believe in Jesus.
I believe in the Holy Spirit.
I believe in the opportunity of everyone to change something in this cruel world even if it’s only a small change.
I believe that one day I’ll know what my function in this world is.
I just believe in so many other things I can’t list here because it would take me hours to write them all down.
I believe and that’s good.
I know so many people who studied Theology and who deal with the bible in a critical way. I got to know this way of dealing with the bible and I still practice it.
But is a critical way of reading the Bible the right way?
One of my friends asked me how I can believe in God when I ask for logical answers to every question.
I can’t tell. It’s my social environment which influences me a lot and which brings me to ask all these questions.
But he told me that it should not be people around me who influence me. It should be God.
And yes, he’s right. God made me to what I am and I’m very thankful for his love and his patience which he always has for me.
But the people around me and their believes influence me as well.
So now you know the thing I’m most struggling with; my belief even if I believe.
And I believe that there are many grammar and spelling mistakes in this blog entry. I’m sorry for them but I tried to do my best.
God bless you,
lots of greetings from
-Krissi
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
welcome Krissi!
Krissi is now officially the fourth member of the team (the third of the active roster, and the fifth to join the journal)!
please be as kind to her and her views as you have been to myself and mine!
she is not going to be an exact carbon copy of my theology and idealogy, so please don't expect it. in fact i've already told her that i want her to post anything she can think of on here that we disagree about already. there's not much, but she's definitely got a right to post her own stance and opinion.
God be with you all!
see you next year!
PAX
-archer
please be as kind to her and her views as you have been to myself and mine!
she is not going to be an exact carbon copy of my theology and idealogy, so please don't expect it. in fact i've already told her that i want her to post anything she can think of on here that we disagree about already. there's not much, but she's definitely got a right to post her own stance and opinion.
God be with you all!
see you next year!
PAX
-archer
into able hands, and a very able heart
as early as Friday, December 14, 2007 i and my partner, Punjabican, will both be unable to contribute here until next year.
it is hard to have to shelve this for now, but when i return from outreach (in Mwanza, TZ) on January 10, 2008, i should have some great stories and observations and other thoughts to post on here. she will be going on winter break from school, as of this friday, and i don't remember exactly when she'll be able to start writing again.
we apologize for the boredom that may ensue whenever you check into this site. God knows i will be bored without this so familiar arm of expression.
but we also trust that we will by no means suffer any loss of creativity and imagination and material to put up on here!
in other news, though slightly related, we're capping off our first calendar year with this blog, with our first anniversary actually coming next month, on January 12. when we began we had four writers. three are still on board, but only two of us remain active. on our first day both Punjabican and i posted about the beginnings of everything we were striving four.
i said, on January 28, "i am going to experience the hardest months of my life to date, this year." the entry was entitled "i never knew i could be so tired"
that holds perfectly true, even though i had yet no real idea of what it was really going to look like.
it's interesting to look back and see that despite our early idealism, we've all stuck to our guns. even the two writers who don't write anymore have remained true to their hearts, and to mine, as my friends, and i know all four of us did something right by starting this journal.
it will be sad to go for so long, writing nothing. if i get a chance to, i have one other friend, deeply involved with all that Punjabican and i are striving toward, and also a great writer--i would like to invite her to join us as well! and perhaps, Punjabican and i will leave this journal in her able hands and very able heart.
thanks to everyone on the team who has made this such a great year! my love and prayers are with you all!
Merry Christmas!
Happy New Year!
May God's constant presence be a blessing and a joy to you as seasons shift.
PAX.
Namaste.
Salaams.
Peace.
-Archer & Punjabican
it is hard to have to shelve this for now, but when i return from outreach (in Mwanza, TZ) on January 10, 2008, i should have some great stories and observations and other thoughts to post on here. she will be going on winter break from school, as of this friday, and i don't remember exactly when she'll be able to start writing again.
we apologize for the boredom that may ensue whenever you check into this site. God knows i will be bored without this so familiar arm of expression.
but we also trust that we will by no means suffer any loss of creativity and imagination and material to put up on here!
in other news, though slightly related, we're capping off our first calendar year with this blog, with our first anniversary actually coming next month, on January 12. when we began we had four writers. three are still on board, but only two of us remain active. on our first day both Punjabican and i posted about the beginnings of everything we were striving four.
i said, on January 28, "i am going to experience the hardest months of my life to date, this year." the entry was entitled "i never knew i could be so tired"
that holds perfectly true, even though i had yet no real idea of what it was really going to look like.
it's interesting to look back and see that despite our early idealism, we've all stuck to our guns. even the two writers who don't write anymore have remained true to their hearts, and to mine, as my friends, and i know all four of us did something right by starting this journal.
it will be sad to go for so long, writing nothing. if i get a chance to, i have one other friend, deeply involved with all that Punjabican and i are striving toward, and also a great writer--i would like to invite her to join us as well! and perhaps, Punjabican and i will leave this journal in her able hands and very able heart.
thanks to everyone on the team who has made this such a great year! my love and prayers are with you all!
Merry Christmas!
Happy New Year!
May God's constant presence be a blessing and a joy to you as seasons shift.
PAX.
Namaste.
Salaams.
Peace.
-Archer & Punjabican
Sunday, December 9, 2007
-a really controversial political/ecclesiastical blog on Hillary Clinton-
Hitler.
Stalin.
Mao.
Communist China.
Soviet USSR.
NAZI Germany.
Sharia Saudi Arabia.
Disappearances.
Firing Squads.
Hangings.
Arrests.
Public Executions.
...or simply slander.
all these people, places, and things are closely correlated, in collected memory and common knowledge, with the reality of vast persecution. the very last (and seemingly least) on this list, is rarely measured as the same caliber.
but maybe that's all the persecution Jesus and his roving bands will get if Hillary is elected next year.
the Church is (or was) strong under all the regimes listed, in their respective locations. what if the Church would grow if it realized that Christendom didn't have a monopoly on the grand establishment of 'American Government'? ("Hail the con-qu'ring HE-ROOOO!!!" *trumpet blast*)
i wanted to vote for Barack Obama.
(even though he spoke of invading Pakistan)
i wanted to vote for Sam Brownback.
(even though he seems to have a beef against gay people)
i wanted to vote for Ron Paul.
(even though he seems to have no mercy on illegal immigrants)
i wanted to vote for Morgan Freeman.
(even though a great African American like him only stands a chance in 'Deep Impact')
i even wanted to vote for Jesus Christ.
(but Mom told me that would probably be a waste unless His second coming is inauguration day, 2009)
but, no... out of nowhere, while pondering the increasingly over-Christianite right-wing political climate of the U.S. ... God throws me a curveball, and puts a brand new name into this young voter's head.
yeah... hers.
Hillary Clinton.
i'm so confused. but i think maybe she'll have my vote.
i want to clarify this... somehow.
growing up, i was raised in a relatively conservative Christian home. i've had really close friends raised in very strict homes of the like. many of those friends have turned their backs on their old "faith" since it was more of a force-fed, indoctrinated religion. i stated once in a youth group setting, a few years back, that my biggest feared is an entirely Christian-run world. frankly, as i begin to understand american politics, that holds true more fervently than ever. i don't want to live in a Christian nation, just as i don't want to live in an atheist nation (like the former government in Albania), or under Sharia (Qur'an) Law, like Saudi Arabia and Afghanistan, and the northern half of Nigeria.
i can't see any of those places truly benefiting the heart the citizens have for their God (or lack there-of).
Jesus did not overthrow Roman occupation in Israel. Rather, Jesus did attack Pharisee religious leaders on nearly a daily basis.
Jesus attacked religious rulership because it left the Pharisees devoid of love for their beautiful Adonai!
i have a friend attending classes at Liberty University in Lynchburg, Virginia. she's recently written that she misses God. the late Jerry Falwell has set up his school in so distinctly a Christian frame that men and women stay on opposite ends of campus, and on only one day a year is any member of the opposite sex (aside from immediate family, hopefully) allowed into your dorm room, as a sort of 'Open House'. God is everywhere on that campus, and seemingly nowhere in the hearts of some of its students.
my friend misses God, on a Christian college campus in the Bible Belt of the USofA!
people say they’ll leave the country if Hillary’s elected. who knows, maybe she’ll deport half of us anyway... i know so little of her politics--except that she’s a caricature of the devil to so many right-wing Christians.
i think i’d rather leave a country under the rulership of Pharisees than abandon the strong and the few faithful, under Nero.
“So Christ has truly set us free. Now make sure that you stay free, and don’t get tied up again in slavery to the law.” -Paul’s letter to the members of the Church in Galatia, chapter 5: verse 1
if we are free to choose, will we not choose the Truth?
PAX (ROMANA)
Stalin.
Mao.
Communist China.
Soviet USSR.
NAZI Germany.
Sharia Saudi Arabia.
Disappearances.
Firing Squads.
Hangings.
Arrests.
Public Executions.
...or simply slander.
all these people, places, and things are closely correlated, in collected memory and common knowledge, with the reality of vast persecution. the very last (and seemingly least) on this list, is rarely measured as the same caliber.
but maybe that's all the persecution Jesus and his roving bands will get if Hillary is elected next year.
the Church is (or was) strong under all the regimes listed, in their respective locations. what if the Church would grow if it realized that Christendom didn't have a monopoly on the grand establishment of 'American Government'? ("Hail the con-qu'ring HE-ROOOO!!!" *trumpet blast*)
i wanted to vote for Barack Obama.
(even though he spoke of invading Pakistan)
i wanted to vote for Sam Brownback.
(even though he seems to have a beef against gay people)
i wanted to vote for Ron Paul.
(even though he seems to have no mercy on illegal immigrants)
i wanted to vote for Morgan Freeman.
(even though a great African American like him only stands a chance in 'Deep Impact')
i even wanted to vote for Jesus Christ.
(but Mom told me that would probably be a waste unless His second coming is inauguration day, 2009)
but, no... out of nowhere, while pondering the increasingly over-Christianite right-wing political climate of the U.S. ... God throws me a curveball, and puts a brand new name into this young voter's head.
yeah... hers.
Hillary Clinton.
i'm so confused. but i think maybe she'll have my vote.
i want to clarify this... somehow.
growing up, i was raised in a relatively conservative Christian home. i've had really close friends raised in very strict homes of the like. many of those friends have turned their backs on their old "faith" since it was more of a force-fed, indoctrinated religion. i stated once in a youth group setting, a few years back, that my biggest feared is an entirely Christian-run world. frankly, as i begin to understand american politics, that holds true more fervently than ever. i don't want to live in a Christian nation, just as i don't want to live in an atheist nation (like the former government in Albania), or under Sharia (Qur'an) Law, like Saudi Arabia and Afghanistan, and the northern half of Nigeria.
i can't see any of those places truly benefiting the heart the citizens have for their God (or lack there-of).
Jesus did not overthrow Roman occupation in Israel. Rather, Jesus did attack Pharisee religious leaders on nearly a daily basis.
Jesus attacked religious rulership because it left the Pharisees devoid of love for their beautiful Adonai!
i have a friend attending classes at Liberty University in Lynchburg, Virginia. she's recently written that she misses God. the late Jerry Falwell has set up his school in so distinctly a Christian frame that men and women stay on opposite ends of campus, and on only one day a year is any member of the opposite sex (aside from immediate family, hopefully) allowed into your dorm room, as a sort of 'Open House'. God is everywhere on that campus, and seemingly nowhere in the hearts of some of its students.
my friend misses God, on a Christian college campus in the Bible Belt of the USofA!
people say they’ll leave the country if Hillary’s elected. who knows, maybe she’ll deport half of us anyway... i know so little of her politics--except that she’s a caricature of the devil to so many right-wing Christians.
i think i’d rather leave a country under the rulership of Pharisees than abandon the strong and the few faithful, under Nero.
“So Christ has truly set us free. Now make sure that you stay free, and don’t get tied up again in slavery to the law.” -Paul’s letter to the members of the Church in Galatia, chapter 5: verse 1
if we are free to choose, will we not choose the Truth?
PAX (ROMANA)
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
until next monday...
...i'm feeling much better. the expunging of my systems cleared everything out, as i figured, and after spending an hour and a half, sleeping on the bathroom stall floor, my head resting on my roll of toilet paper, my own body crumpled into itself in muted pain, until 11pm... waking this morning was a blessing!
i feel so much more alive! it's beautiful! God really is good! i strangely found myself softly humming and trying to remember all the words to a good worship song last night, before i laid down on the stall floor. it was interesting, just seeing that despite my near agony, i could be thankful that in literally everything, God's presence never changes!
the weather today is amazing... feels like the first week of summer... the last week of classes. the perfect breeze, the reasonably cool and warm temperatures. the decent cloud cover from time to time. it feels really good. really peaceful!
i'm gonna go back to class now... it's kinda cool that even being in class is starting to fill me with fond memories of high school and that one random year of college (that probably won't be the last of my 'higher education', considering new "revelations" of sorts)...
life is good.
God is good.
Peace to you all, brothers and sisters.
(i have every intention of not eating anything but the bread-and-butter breakfast on sunday... i'm in no mood for a fifth knock-out round!)
PAX.
i feel so much more alive! it's beautiful! God really is good! i strangely found myself softly humming and trying to remember all the words to a good worship song last night, before i laid down on the stall floor. it was interesting, just seeing that despite my near agony, i could be thankful that in literally everything, God's presence never changes!
the weather today is amazing... feels like the first week of summer... the last week of classes. the perfect breeze, the reasonably cool and warm temperatures. the decent cloud cover from time to time. it feels really good. really peaceful!
i'm gonna go back to class now... it's kinda cool that even being in class is starting to fill me with fond memories of high school and that one random year of college (that probably won't be the last of my 'higher education', considering new "revelations" of sorts)...
life is good.
God is good.
Peace to you all, brothers and sisters.
(i have every intention of not eating anything but the bread-and-butter breakfast on sunday... i'm in no mood for a fifth knock-out round!)
PAX.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
when Intra nixes Inter
i can barely begin to write what i would like to write, certain of only one thing:
that i am uncertain how long i will ramble, or exactly what i will mean to say by the last words of this entry. here goes, brothers and sisters.
Intrapersonal is far more challenging for me. as a concept, Intrapersonal is not very appealling to me normally, aside from moments when suddenly romance is the farthest thing from my mind. but lately, after this current resurfacing, and finding yet another window in which to reach in and throttle me while i dream, i am choked by the need to be Intrapersonal.
Interpersonal is out of the question for the time being. i don't really know how exaclty to do such a thing: i shall live these coming weeks, months, perhaps years, seeking only my Jesus and my Adonai and my Spirit. and seeking only myself. only Archer. i have no desire to allow myself to yet again get more-or-less "hitched" to someone. been there. done that. got hurt. hurt her. it sucks.
i need some time as me. i've got a lot of work to do on myself. a lot of effort to pour into the right relationship. i can't keep working on all the wrong ones before their time.
i think i want to be married. but i want to be married to my best friend, not my girlfriend. i want my wife to know me. not just kiss me and hold me. i want my wife to treat me like any other woman i know most of the time. i want a friendship, not just a "relationship." i want truth, not romance. i want genuine love, not puppy love or high school sweethearts. i want a partner in life, someone to work with all my life, not someone i simply come home to every night, who just makes me my meals, cleans my house, and cuddles with me for a movie at night.
i know i want something real. i want someone who aches for justice, and lives in the moment, unaware of the perception others have of her. i want someone who laughs so hard she cries, and cries so hard her head hurts. i want someone very broken, very imperfect, very far from anything i can continue to describe. so i won't even try.
but before i even consider any of these, i need my Jesus and my Adonai and my Spirit.
these i need, and only these. and now i've got my choice. a great deal of mistakes in my past, but there's no pressure on me to win any heart, but to simply return to the heart i never had to win.
pray for me. i've got a long and winding road ahead of me, and i'm really excited for it!
PAX.
-archer
that i am uncertain how long i will ramble, or exactly what i will mean to say by the last words of this entry. here goes, brothers and sisters.
Intrapersonal is far more challenging for me. as a concept, Intrapersonal is not very appealling to me normally, aside from moments when suddenly romance is the farthest thing from my mind. but lately, after this current resurfacing, and finding yet another window in which to reach in and throttle me while i dream, i am choked by the need to be Intrapersonal.
Interpersonal is out of the question for the time being. i don't really know how exaclty to do such a thing: i shall live these coming weeks, months, perhaps years, seeking only my Jesus and my Adonai and my Spirit. and seeking only myself. only Archer. i have no desire to allow myself to yet again get more-or-less "hitched" to someone. been there. done that. got hurt. hurt her. it sucks.
i need some time as me. i've got a lot of work to do on myself. a lot of effort to pour into the right relationship. i can't keep working on all the wrong ones before their time.
i think i want to be married. but i want to be married to my best friend, not my girlfriend. i want my wife to know me. not just kiss me and hold me. i want my wife to treat me like any other woman i know most of the time. i want a friendship, not just a "relationship." i want truth, not romance. i want genuine love, not puppy love or high school sweethearts. i want a partner in life, someone to work with all my life, not someone i simply come home to every night, who just makes me my meals, cleans my house, and cuddles with me for a movie at night.
i know i want something real. i want someone who aches for justice, and lives in the moment, unaware of the perception others have of her. i want someone who laughs so hard she cries, and cries so hard her head hurts. i want someone very broken, very imperfect, very far from anything i can continue to describe. so i won't even try.
but before i even consider any of these, i need my Jesus and my Adonai and my Spirit.
these i need, and only these. and now i've got my choice. a great deal of mistakes in my past, but there's no pressure on me to win any heart, but to simply return to the heart i never had to win.
pray for me. i've got a long and winding road ahead of me, and i'm really excited for it!
PAX.
-archer
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