i am

i am the Black Militant.
i am the Muslim Extremist.
i am the Illegal Alien.
i am the Welfare Slacker.
i am the St. Claire Gang Banger.
i am the South Side Whore.
i am the Tattooed Convict.
i am the Sleazy Pimp.
i am the Drug Dealer.
i am the one you throw your stereotypes on.
i am the minority you want to categorize.
i am the minority you fear.
i am the minority you rule.
i am the minority you monopolize.
i am all of these and none of these.



sadly, i am white.
i am just like you.
i am just like you as any one of these.
i am just like you when not one of these.
you don't see it the right way.
you don't see the similarity in our differences.
all you want is our deference.
because you're in power.

i am Troy Davis.
i am Timothy McVeigh.
i am John Brown.
i am Fred Ahmed Evans.
i am Eric Harris.
i am Dylan Klebold.

and thanks to you, i am out of luck.
and thanks to you, i am forced down.
i am oppressed.
i am where i am.

and i think you know who i blame.

i lose

one of my favourite games of all time is Risk.
i think i have this vague sense that at some point in history i won that game once.
but as a general rule, i know i always lose.

and yet it is still among my favourites.
while sitting here before church, reading about suffering for the Name (a Name i believe is also so often attributed to true justice and righteous acts for the sake of the people) from the sermon on the mount, and listening to Coldplay's Viva la Vida, it occurred to me exactly why i love that game so much!

i love fighting hard--to the last man--until my imminent defeat against an enemy so big that i know they'll crush me, but until that moment, until that day, I'LL GIVE 'EM HELL!


in that sense it feels like reality, the way i expect my life to play out if God puts me where i think he'll put me--
before an unjust enemy.

write your letters
grit your teeth
say your prayers
lock and load.

routinized, scrutinized, mutinized

two of the title words are not recognized by the google dictionary spellings. they're not usually turned into verbs in this way, they are meant to be nouns and things that just happen without any intent. overtly.

however, i feel like college has begun to routinize me, which is not exactly what i would desire for myself, or for anyone i care about. it strips away my ability to frequently make random calls and break from the "normal". classes are great, as i've already said, but i feel mildly constrained by the routine that these classes are pushing on me.

it makes sense to me then that i scrutinize the system that does this to me. after all, are we not taught to think for ourselves in school? ;) i'm not trying to write this in an annoying way, or a rebellious manner. i say this pretty light-heartedly, but i like to examine the vague irony of it. i am routinized by things that i love, and by someone i love, whose voice every night is so calming and intoxicating that it soothes my mind and body to sleep, even if my heart denies me sleep by pounding fiercely inside my tossing and turning body, until i wrap my arms around my pillow and "pretend i am kissin the lips that i am missin".

that's the kind of routine i used to hate about having a girlfriend, but things have changed since that sort of routine came after getting to know her so much better on a friendship level for nearly two months, spending at least an hour or two in conversation with her nearly every single day, face to face, shopping with her for foods both of us can eat, sodas she'll make me finish after her first sip, and tiny pieces of manufactured and discovered oddities in jewelry stores that accentuate beautiful characteristics of her or of any other soul that dons them.

the routine of her voice every night these past two weeks has been really helpful for me. and really enlightening, as well.

so, due to the scrutiny
i've placed on the layers of routine
that affect my every day's and "some day's"
i have determined that i will break away from all of the unhealthy routines
and focus only on the healthy ones, allowing the rest to fit in place
and my branching out--i'll call it mutiny--
will allow me to make some changes
in the way this world views justice.

i declare mutiny against the harmful status quo.

i may only have a semester here at this particular institution, which means i've got a few months to make a mark and make sure as many in the region as possible, are aware of injustice on a global scale, and have begun to find methods of fighting back.

routine scrutinized produces mutiny.

i like it this way ;)

"breathing through fear"

two days ago i walked outside during my break in the middle of my math class in order to step into the warm, breezy, dark afternoon sphere that captivated my attention in every waking moment that day until i stood in it.

i had been reading a moving, strange poem written in 1968 by a man named Juan Gelman of Argentina, entitled "Conversations."

centered around the author's feelings in relation to the recent loss in the hero named Ernesto 'Che' Guevara, the words stirred in me a desire to write verse.

and after my walk, barefoot through the mud around a new building site on campus, i sat down in the classroom in the moments before we reinitiated the lecture and put pen to the paper, finding within me, these words:

"Breathing Through Fear"
[Archer. 22 July 2008]

it's funny to me the heads that turn
the eyes that burn into me, my jacket,
my beloved Esther alive in earth tones,
ensconced in warm dirt and clay.

i walk unshod
the sole figure
an embraced soul
the bleedings soles
through the mud
and burning sand
spirit in hand
the wind dies
to just a whisper
i tread through treads
of yellow beasts far bigger than i
holding my own
breathing through fear
thick in the air
He in my ear
He, the wind, and my warm feet
what else could i need?



.PAX.
-Archer

From Journal & Courier: "Area groups plan peace rally"

Several Lafayette area groups are sponsoring events next Wednesday to mark the fifth anniversary of the Iraq War.

A peace rally is scheduled at 5:30 p.m. at the Tippecanoe County Courthouse.

A peace march will follow at 6 p.m. along State Street to the Purdue Mall.

A panel discussion titled "Why the Iraq War Must End" will be held at 7:30 p.m. in 218 Stewart Center.

The public is invited.

--Staff reports

[taken verbatim from Journal & Courier March 14, 2008, page C8]
[image from http://www.tippecanoecountycourthouse.com/chmaps.html ]

not the norm.

i am going to break a lot of rules by writing what i will write next.

if you have a weak stomach, are patriotic, or know anyone who'd be offended by condemnation of particular US soldiers, or would be offended by an affront to the American psyche of super-importance... then stop reading this entry.

---

i first read a story of a woman named Maria Osman, a Mogadishu resident, about two weeks ago. Yahoo News journalist Kevin Sites has been touring the world's conflict zones for about a year. he stopped in Mogadishu and met a woman named Maria.

her arm is useless. rendered so by the bullet wound that she earned for trying to reach the crushed body of her dead young daughter... under US Black Hawk helicopter Super Six One. When the first Black Hawk went down on October 3, 1993, it would herald the end for 18 American soldiers.

and the same fate came to roughly 600 to 1,000 Somalis.

we glorify the black hawks.


and we ignore Maria Osman's story.


the film makes no mention of the girl crushed by Super Six One.

' "I hate the Americans," she says, her eyes maintaining their empty sadness rather than shifting to anger. "I hate them for what happened to my daughter. If I saw one I would cut them up into so many pieces." ' -Kevin Sites quoting Maria Osman

if you think this is wrong, i agree with you. i think hate is a horrible thing, but i can see where it comes from.
but apparently she's not the only one guilty of this.

"An anonymous man wearing a US Special Forces T-shirt is a war criminal, if his three-minute YouTube interview is to be believed. In it, he claims to have taken part in routine torture of Iraqis — Hajji’s in soldier slang — in the infamous Abu Ghraib prison..." -Captain Eric May, on Soldier X's Youtube interview (i won't put the link to it, but search "soldier x interview" if you absolutely don't believe me in any other way. but please, don't view it unless you're completely ready to hear what he has to say, while smiling)


last month i joined the All Somali Forum. i wrote a blog on there about the war crimes of the Transitional Federal Government in Somalia, and when someone read it, they posted a comment asking me if i am anti-TFG.

i told them that i am, for the time being, since they are committing war crimes and getting away with it. i am against any war criminal. frankly, as you can guess, that does mean tat my enemies include many americans. by far, hopefully not a majority, but definitely more than i'd normally think.

there are always people against people. but if it's going to go that way, it should only be the armed against the armed. civilians should never be targets. and there is such a thing as War Law. so if you're going to lose your head, at least do it by the rules.

youtube videojournalists.

youtube should hire videojournalists to cover major stories on an international scale... like, obviously i'd be vying for the ones with little coverage, concerning Human Rights.

hopefully they come around to this idea soon so that unknown stories can become world-wide. enough people post celebrity gossip and movie spoilers and God knows what else, that frankly youtube's creators and owners could really capitalize on having freelancers bring them video coverage of far away wars and conflicts and injustices (and other stories too, of course), but this would greatly have the chance to bring about change and prevent innocent civilian death tolls from being forgotten in the dark closets of inhumane government buildings.

youtube, i hope you're listening. i hope you take this chance. i hope you bring on the change.

PAX.

Mogadishu

"hello, my name is ________________, and i'm a US citizen living in ______________. i'm calling on behalf of a man named ________________ living in Mogadishu, in Somalia, seeking asylum here..."

i called the UNHCR DC Office.

this is how my voicemail started. obviously, for protection all around, things had to be changed here, in this publishing.

the man i mentioned above, a Somali journalist, has been threatened by both sides, for his work with foreign journalists.

one of the journalists he's worked with in the past several months works for a big newspaper based not far from my house. i'm working with both of them, as well as a woman in the 11th District Office in Ohio, working for Representative Stephanie Tubbs-Jones.

hopefully this action will all count for something.

a follow-up of the mention of the girl...

so a few entries ago, i mentioned that i was going to write a letter to a girl. a letter to a girl who may or may not play a huge role in my life in the future, in a romantic sense.

a letter that was met with a response exactly how i could have hoped for... and the outcome?

still absolutely single with no signs of slowing down any time soon! i love it! things are better now between us (though things were never bad between us, i just feel less nervous), since i've had a chance to share this with her, and get her feedback (since the feelings mostly sat on my side of the fence--not so much with her anymore).

so, singleness feels really good when you don't have an outcome in mind, no woman to run to as soon as you're fed up with being "alone". no promises for marriage. actually, still looks more and more like i could remain single for the rest of my life, whether it be long or short.

feels good.

just thought i'd share that.

may the peace of the Lord Jesus Christ dwell in you.
Amen.
PAX.

why, oh why does the bluebird sing?

if you see a bluebird singing, and you ask him why he is, he ought to have a good reason for stringing together a song.

if he doesn't have a good reason, then you may politely ask him to be quiet.

if he doesn't take a hint, just tell him to shut up and sit down.

if he still doesn't abide... cuff 'im.
and then he'll have to come up with a good defense for court.
....
if you see or hear me making a lot of noise and standing firmly on something, and you ask me why i feel as i do, i ought to have a good reason for roping together my slogans and outcries.

if i don't have a good foundation, then you may politely ask me to be quiet.

hopefully i will.

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, i kindly request that you challenge me to know why i believe and say the things which i believe and say.

i will tell you i believe in a God of love, because i am in love with him.
i will tell you i believe in a world of suffering, and i probably don't need to point to all the evidence--we see and feel it every day.
i will tell you i believe in justice, because without it, somebody would've already pulled the trigger of the pistol pointed at my head.
i will tell you i believe in Jesus, because without him being a servant would have no rewards--and i would not personally like being on the floor, washing your feet.
i will tell you i believe in evolution, because there's a fossil record to back it up, and such beauty and ingenuity in the designs that span the eras that we would be cheating God to say humanity was the first on his canvas.
i will tell you i believe in a God of love, because we humans have been created in his image, a specific design set apart from everything else on the fossil record--beginning with the Old Man (Adam) and culminating in the New Man (Jesus, Son of David)--that we may have love and compassion for our neighbors (and even our enemies)... that we may grow closer to one another, and, most importantly, to him.

i will tell you this because this is one thing i must stand for, and i beg you never to make me sit down and shut up about.

i would prefer, without a doubt, with every ounce of devotion, humility, and eagerness to be no greater than my master (Matthew 10.24b), that you see that i will not abide, and that you cuff me.

you have no choice...

"...Peter was hurt that Jesus asked the question a third time. He said, "Lord, you know everything. You know that I love you."
Jesus said, "Then feed my sheep. (John 21.17b NLT) Verily, verily, I say unto thee, When thou wast young, thou girdest thyself, and walkedst whither thou wouldest: but when thou shalt be old, thou shalt stretch forth thy hands, and another shall gird thee, and carry thee whither thou wouldest not." (John 21.18 KJV)

...another shall gird me, and carry me whither i wouldest not.