I've been in an interesting place lately. Like the kind of interesting that spawns from possibilities that seem to stretch beyond one's wildest dreams!
I have a number of possible courses of action to pursue this year.
1. Go to Perth, Australia and work and study at the YWAM (Youth With A Mission) base there for about two years, taking part in a Basic Leadership School and possibly going on outreaches and being a part of ministry within the base's leadership and Christ-centered agenda.
2. Go to Purdue University and carry on my studies as a Political Studies major with minors in German and in Religious Studies.
or...
3. Stay in Lafayette, not necessarily attending Purdue, while working and move into a low-cost apartment in a nearby neighborhood that struggles with poverty and crime, and hang out with kids in the neighborhood, potentially opening doors for a fellowship and community Bible study with people of all ages, and attach the ministry to my church here in Lafayette.
4. Study at Purdue for the fall and spring semesters, save up money to go to Perth to work on staff for the summer next year, and learn the ropes of the base, and consider the BLS (Basic Leadership School) after finishing up my degree.
5. Regardless of where I go, I'll also have the capacity to continue working for the Not For Sale Campaign [to combat human trafficking], since I'm the Deputy State Director here in Indiana, and NFSC will be hosting a seminar at the Perth base later this month, and thus might end up more heavily involved with ministry and practical outreach at the Perth base, or in Australia in general.
The thing is, if I take on either of the first two options, it's possible the opposite will follow in due time, shortly after whichever I do first. And the third and fourth ideas could both also work with the second plan, of attending classes.
I have a lot of my personal demons to fight off before I can be relatively comfortable with jumping into any more involved ministry of any kind. I intend to spend much of my summer walking with The Rabbi and intensely delving into God's word, attempting to fight off some of my deepest rooted sins and learning to act justly, love mercy, and to walk humbly with my God, my beautiful Adonai.
Friends, family, and loved ones, I pray for your guidance, prayers, thoughts, encouragement, advice, and suggestions as I try to seek out what is best and right for my next step in life.
Shalom.
Showing posts with label morale. Show all posts
Showing posts with label morale. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Traffic and Revenge.
the gun i wish i had is quivering in my hand right now, my violence and rage is overpowering and intoxicating, but what if the coin was flipped, what if i couldn't do anything about it, what if it actually played out like this:
The door opens a crack and a soft, mildly upset voice passes through with deceptive ease, "Has anyone seen Nikki?"
I'm sitting on the floor across from my roommate, playing cards, leaning on our bunks. The voice outside belongs to David, one of Nikki's best friends here at the house. He's never really this timid, that's why he and Nikki hit it off. The outgoing people here found each other quickly and spent lots of our group's free time together. I glance at my watch and look up at David, "No, when was the last time you talked to her?"
"She told me after lunch that she was heading downtown to buy a new shirt or something."
It's almost 8 o'clock in the evening. San Francisco is getting dark about now, towering buildings blotting out the sun in the heart of the city, this fine August night.
"Asher, it's almost 8."
"I know David." He's starting the freak me out the more I look at him, watching his expressions change, quickly becoming more and more panicked. "I'm sure she's here somewhere, just keep asking around."
"I've already checked with everyone else."
My heart skips a beat. I feel a chill ripple through my arms and I accidentally drop a couple cards. Derek, my roommate, is none the wiser, and I can see the same wave coming over him.
Here at our group house in San Fran, all of us know all too well what might have happened to Nikki. There are about 25 of us students from around the country studying human trafficking and how to spot it, report it, and take it down. Our high blood pressure is well warranted right now. Every night prostitutes line the streets in certain districts of the city.
Derek and I stand up in a split second and David steps into the room, closing the door behind him. He lowers his gaze and slowly looks up at us, saying, "we need to go find her."
"How the hell do you expect us to do that?" Derek's voice almost cracks, "None of us know our way around here."
A second of silence gives the weight of this situation a little bit more time to etch itself into our collective psyche. Shallow breaths scrape from each of us in raspy turns. I want so badly to panic. And then I just want to be armed. Then I wish I had a car. And, again, a gun.
David breaks the tense stillness, "there are already a couple people on board and willing to go look for her. Nate and Mike and Ernest. But obviously none of them brought their cars."
The three of us stand in a tight cluster at the center of the room. I'm probably stepping all over our card game. I don't give a damn at this point.
"David, maybe we could call the cops."
"Derek, that's insane, they'd be nearly useless. Unless they have a trafficking unit... Okay, we won't rule that out, but let's get other people on board first."
David turns and opens the door and the three of us shuffle out, looking for anyone else with an open door. Mike, Nate, and Ernest come up the stairs, huffing. They must have been running through the whole house. Mike stops a few feet from us, "guys, the Professor's calling the cops. They should be here in a few minutes."
David turns on him, "Why would they need to come here, Mike, huh? Nikki's downtown and needs them there!"
Mike is taken back with David's tone and clears his throat, "Dave, they're gonna take a couple of us downtown to look for her, see if she's just lost."
Nate tries to level out the situation, "Dave, do you know exactly where she was going? Like, what store, what district?"
David looks like he's tripping over his own thoughts. He closes his eyes, saying through gritted teeth, "Macy's, by Union Square."
That's not too bad, I'm thinking. Then I remember Union Square is actually a park. As big as a downtown block, and pretty shady at night. Frankly, it's downtown San Fran--it's not really that safe anytime during the day. I grab David by the shoulder and push him toward the steps, "guys, let's get down there and do what we can. Grab water bottles or blankets and stuff them in a bag. Depending what... well... Nikki may need..."
I don't need to finish my sentence. Since Monday we've heard people speak of the terrors of being hand-cuffed to bed-posts for weeks at a time, laced with drugs enough to sterilize a cow. It only takes about a day or so to get girls addicted to any drug you give them. Nikki's no exception. She's an attractive blonde with a thin frame and long legs. It wouldn't take much of anything to render her senseless. My adrenaline races and I push past them all, yelling at them to go to their rooms and grab something helpful. My yelling causes a couple other doors to open in the upstairs bedrooms.
As I get downstairs, ignoring questions and calls from the others upstairs, I find the Professor waiting by the front door. He stands alone, fidgeting, his cell phone at the ready. In my blurred state of vision right now it looks like he may be packing under his jacket. But for all I know it's just the influx of adrenaline that's causing these visions.
"Asher, hey, are you okay?" He looks concerned.
"Nikki's missing. No I'm not okay. When are the cops getting here?"
"Just a couple minutes."
"We're almost ready to go."
"To go? Asher, you're not going anywhere. The police are just getting a description and a couple photos."
"The hell? Yes, I have to go. David has to go! Mike said they'd take us to help look for her."
"No, not anything like that. We can't get involved."
"Mike wouldn't lie about that, Professor."
"I'm sure he misunderstood or something."
Mike and the others show up behind me.
The Professor turns to him, "Mike, what made you think you all were going with the police?"
"Professor, uh... you said you'd have us ready for them to pick up when they got here."
Everyone looks confused, my heart rate's going insane. Would someone please make a definite statement soon!
The Professor extends his hand, holding an envelope containing a few photos. Outside, we can see red and blue flashes growing brighter. There's no siren, or maybe there is, but I can't focus enough to hear it if it's there. "Mike, I told them I'd have these pictures ready for them to pick up."
Mike and David nearly collapse.
"I'm sorry, but no one here is going with them."
Ernest blurts out, "But Nikki's out there! We don't know if she's okay! Professor, we're the only ones who know anything about her, about the way she walks, what she looks like, what she might be wearing! The cops need us out there! Nikki needs us!"
The Professor's eyes flash with anger and anxiety and in a cold, thinly masked wavering tone, "I know. The cops don't work that way, and we don't have any jurisdiction to see if we could find her in another person's house or business." He pauses and I can see a vein bulging on his neck. "Guys, I need you to help calm everyone else down right now. The cops will do the best they can out there. The law only allows them to conduct searches anyway. We can't break laws trying to find lawbreakers... That's just not how this works."
"That's bull!" Did I really just say that? The skin over my knuckles seems tight and stretched. God, is this really happening?
"Asher, calm down. There's nothing else you can do right now. If any of you want to pray, that would be great, and for those that don't, I need you to stay calm. Nothing can get done without--"
Someone's knocking on the door. The yellow light from the lamps in the room is intermittently over-powered by red and blue hues flashing almost as fast as my pulse.
The Professor walks to the door and opens it with a shaking hand. Two uniformed officers step in. The looks of apathy smeared across their faces disturbs me. You don't know what you're doing, do you? You little pricks can't do anything with that lack of concern! Just give me your damn badge and gun. I'll do your job better.
"Hello Professor, What was Nikki wearing?"
David steps forward, "A green jacket and um... these blue jeans with little swirlies of gold and red or pink or something. Her sister Sandra, she made them for her last year, she..." David drops his eyes, "Take me with you, officers, I can spot her from a mile away."
"I'm afraid we can't do that, sir."
David seems to be convulsing. "She's my best friend. You have to understand."
"There are ways we can and cannot go about things. We can't take you with us. You just have to trust us."
"Find her. Find her, officers." He raises his eyes to meet the taller officer's, catching him off-guard. "Find her tonight, or expect that I'll be joining the search first thing tomorrow."
"You can't do that, sir. That's not in your jurisd--"
"Damnit! Don't tell me what I can and cannot do."
I'm not sure, but I think I could absolutely expect David to take someone's life for Nikki. These cops better know how serious this is to us.
David's not done, "Find her tonight. You don't want to have to deal with all of us if you don't."
I am expecting some sort of confrontation from the cops right now, but for some reason, these two seem to get the point, and instead of anything further said to aggravate David, they simply say:
"Green jacket, blue jeans with colored swirls. We'll do our best."
The Professor closes the door behind them and I ponder how trite and half-ass that statement always sounds: "We'll do our best."
Will you, really? Cause I'm sure I could do better.
I am told to return to my room. I feel a hand on my shoulder. I notice David's as frozen as I am. Someone is trying to urge us both to move and head upstairs. Eventually the hand on my shoulder loosens its grip and I and David are left alone in a silent, tense, pulsating foyer. My ears are throbbing.
The gun I wish I had is quivering in my hand right now, my violence and rage is overpowering and intoxicating...
Find her. Get her here safe. Bring her captors to justice. Or I, and most likely David, will seek revenge. Every one of those creeps deserves a full clip of hot lead in them.
It seems like hours before I release my muscles and try to walk away from the foyer. David is still standing there, motionless, when I close the door to my room. I look at Derek and catch his eye. We don't have to say anything. We're on the same page.
As I lay down and Derek kills the lights, I stare blindly up at the ceiling. Just a few thoughts running through my head:
Find her. Get her to safety. Bring her captors to justice.
Find her.
Save her.
Now.
The door opens a crack and a soft, mildly upset voice passes through with deceptive ease, "Has anyone seen Nikki?"
I'm sitting on the floor across from my roommate, playing cards, leaning on our bunks. The voice outside belongs to David, one of Nikki's best friends here at the house. He's never really this timid, that's why he and Nikki hit it off. The outgoing people here found each other quickly and spent lots of our group's free time together. I glance at my watch and look up at David, "No, when was the last time you talked to her?"
"She told me after lunch that she was heading downtown to buy a new shirt or something."
It's almost 8 o'clock in the evening. San Francisco is getting dark about now, towering buildings blotting out the sun in the heart of the city, this fine August night.
"Asher, it's almost 8."
"I know David." He's starting the freak me out the more I look at him, watching his expressions change, quickly becoming more and more panicked. "I'm sure she's here somewhere, just keep asking around."
"I've already checked with everyone else."
My heart skips a beat. I feel a chill ripple through my arms and I accidentally drop a couple cards. Derek, my roommate, is none the wiser, and I can see the same wave coming over him.
Here at our group house in San Fran, all of us know all too well what might have happened to Nikki. There are about 25 of us students from around the country studying human trafficking and how to spot it, report it, and take it down. Our high blood pressure is well warranted right now. Every night prostitutes line the streets in certain districts of the city.
Derek and I stand up in a split second and David steps into the room, closing the door behind him. He lowers his gaze and slowly looks up at us, saying, "we need to go find her."
"How the hell do you expect us to do that?" Derek's voice almost cracks, "None of us know our way around here."
A second of silence gives the weight of this situation a little bit more time to etch itself into our collective psyche. Shallow breaths scrape from each of us in raspy turns. I want so badly to panic. And then I just want to be armed. Then I wish I had a car. And, again, a gun.
David breaks the tense stillness, "there are already a couple people on board and willing to go look for her. Nate and Mike and Ernest. But obviously none of them brought their cars."
The three of us stand in a tight cluster at the center of the room. I'm probably stepping all over our card game. I don't give a damn at this point.
"David, maybe we could call the cops."
"Derek, that's insane, they'd be nearly useless. Unless they have a trafficking unit... Okay, we won't rule that out, but let's get other people on board first."
David turns and opens the door and the three of us shuffle out, looking for anyone else with an open door. Mike, Nate, and Ernest come up the stairs, huffing. They must have been running through the whole house. Mike stops a few feet from us, "guys, the Professor's calling the cops. They should be here in a few minutes."
David turns on him, "Why would they need to come here, Mike, huh? Nikki's downtown and needs them there!"
Mike is taken back with David's tone and clears his throat, "Dave, they're gonna take a couple of us downtown to look for her, see if she's just lost."
Nate tries to level out the situation, "Dave, do you know exactly where she was going? Like, what store, what district?"
David looks like he's tripping over his own thoughts. He closes his eyes, saying through gritted teeth, "Macy's, by Union Square."
That's not too bad, I'm thinking. Then I remember Union Square is actually a park. As big as a downtown block, and pretty shady at night. Frankly, it's downtown San Fran--it's not really that safe anytime during the day. I grab David by the shoulder and push him toward the steps, "guys, let's get down there and do what we can. Grab water bottles or blankets and stuff them in a bag. Depending what... well... Nikki may need..."
I don't need to finish my sentence. Since Monday we've heard people speak of the terrors of being hand-cuffed to bed-posts for weeks at a time, laced with drugs enough to sterilize a cow. It only takes about a day or so to get girls addicted to any drug you give them. Nikki's no exception. She's an attractive blonde with a thin frame and long legs. It wouldn't take much of anything to render her senseless. My adrenaline races and I push past them all, yelling at them to go to their rooms and grab something helpful. My yelling causes a couple other doors to open in the upstairs bedrooms.
As I get downstairs, ignoring questions and calls from the others upstairs, I find the Professor waiting by the front door. He stands alone, fidgeting, his cell phone at the ready. In my blurred state of vision right now it looks like he may be packing under his jacket. But for all I know it's just the influx of adrenaline that's causing these visions.
"Asher, hey, are you okay?" He looks concerned.
"Nikki's missing. No I'm not okay. When are the cops getting here?"
"Just a couple minutes."
"We're almost ready to go."
"To go? Asher, you're not going anywhere. The police are just getting a description and a couple photos."
"The hell? Yes, I have to go. David has to go! Mike said they'd take us to help look for her."
"No, not anything like that. We can't get involved."
"Mike wouldn't lie about that, Professor."
"I'm sure he misunderstood or something."
Mike and the others show up behind me.
The Professor turns to him, "Mike, what made you think you all were going with the police?"
"Professor, uh... you said you'd have us ready for them to pick up when they got here."
Everyone looks confused, my heart rate's going insane. Would someone please make a definite statement soon!
The Professor extends his hand, holding an envelope containing a few photos. Outside, we can see red and blue flashes growing brighter. There's no siren, or maybe there is, but I can't focus enough to hear it if it's there. "Mike, I told them I'd have these pictures ready for them to pick up."
Mike and David nearly collapse.
"I'm sorry, but no one here is going with them."
Ernest blurts out, "But Nikki's out there! We don't know if she's okay! Professor, we're the only ones who know anything about her, about the way she walks, what she looks like, what she might be wearing! The cops need us out there! Nikki needs us!"
The Professor's eyes flash with anger and anxiety and in a cold, thinly masked wavering tone, "I know. The cops don't work that way, and we don't have any jurisdiction to see if we could find her in another person's house or business." He pauses and I can see a vein bulging on his neck. "Guys, I need you to help calm everyone else down right now. The cops will do the best they can out there. The law only allows them to conduct searches anyway. We can't break laws trying to find lawbreakers... That's just not how this works."
"That's bull!" Did I really just say that? The skin over my knuckles seems tight and stretched. God, is this really happening?
"Asher, calm down. There's nothing else you can do right now. If any of you want to pray, that would be great, and for those that don't, I need you to stay calm. Nothing can get done without--"
Someone's knocking on the door. The yellow light from the lamps in the room is intermittently over-powered by red and blue hues flashing almost as fast as my pulse.
The Professor walks to the door and opens it with a shaking hand. Two uniformed officers step in. The looks of apathy smeared across their faces disturbs me. You don't know what you're doing, do you? You little pricks can't do anything with that lack of concern! Just give me your damn badge and gun. I'll do your job better.
"Hello Professor, What was Nikki wearing?"
David steps forward, "A green jacket and um... these blue jeans with little swirlies of gold and red or pink or something. Her sister Sandra, she made them for her last year, she..." David drops his eyes, "Take me with you, officers, I can spot her from a mile away."
"I'm afraid we can't do that, sir."
David seems to be convulsing. "She's my best friend. You have to understand."
"There are ways we can and cannot go about things. We can't take you with us. You just have to trust us."
"Find her. Find her, officers." He raises his eyes to meet the taller officer's, catching him off-guard. "Find her tonight, or expect that I'll be joining the search first thing tomorrow."
"You can't do that, sir. That's not in your jurisd--"
"Damnit! Don't tell me what I can and cannot do."
I'm not sure, but I think I could absolutely expect David to take someone's life for Nikki. These cops better know how serious this is to us.
David's not done, "Find her tonight. You don't want to have to deal with all of us if you don't."
I am expecting some sort of confrontation from the cops right now, but for some reason, these two seem to get the point, and instead of anything further said to aggravate David, they simply say:
"Green jacket, blue jeans with colored swirls. We'll do our best."
The Professor closes the door behind them and I ponder how trite and half-ass that statement always sounds: "We'll do our best."
Will you, really? Cause I'm sure I could do better.
I am told to return to my room. I feel a hand on my shoulder. I notice David's as frozen as I am. Someone is trying to urge us both to move and head upstairs. Eventually the hand on my shoulder loosens its grip and I and David are left alone in a silent, tense, pulsating foyer. My ears are throbbing.
The gun I wish I had is quivering in my hand right now, my violence and rage is overpowering and intoxicating...
Find her. Get her here safe. Bring her captors to justice. Or I, and most likely David, will seek revenge. Every one of those creeps deserves a full clip of hot lead in them.
It seems like hours before I release my muscles and try to walk away from the foyer. David is still standing there, motionless, when I close the door to my room. I look at Derek and catch his eye. We don't have to say anything. We're on the same page.
As I lay down and Derek kills the lights, I stare blindly up at the ceiling. Just a few thoughts running through my head:
Find her. Get her to safety. Bring her captors to justice.
Find her.
Save her.
Now.
Friday, December 26, 2008
17 pages in an hour for her. 17 hours by the radio for them.
i remember it clearly, the second week on outreach, most poignantly on the 27th and 28th of December, my friend borrowing my AM radio, sitting in a small hut on the outskirts of Mwanza, Tanzania.
two major events occurred on the 27th of December, 2007. it was a day that rocked my world.
Kenyans voted for a president,
the election being rigged to favor the incumbent. the next 30-odd days awash with blood in a nation heralded as Africa's most peaceful. near 1000 deaths triggered by the lies of the rulers.
Pakistanis lost and began mourning for one of the most prominent women in southern Asian politics.
Benazir Bhutto, the former twice-run Prime Minister, recently returned from Exile, was shot in the back of the head and then blown up by a suicide bomber.
i spent the next several months of my life engrossed entirely in news and updates concerning these two events. i spent countless hours with my friend Joy, from Kenya, listening to my radio for any news of change and peace in her homeland.
i spent nearly an hour in a Barnes & Noble stateside a month later, reading Benazir's book, 'Reconciliation'. the final draft of this manuscript was handed to her friend and editor the morning before her assassination. i read the whole first chapter, all 17 pages, trembling in the plush chair.
tomorrow marks the first anniversary of both of these monumental events.
some great change has come to these two nations, while yet another crisis looms for one and progress has been slow in another. tomorrow i will likely sit, trembling, reading the headlines commemorating such tragic loss of life.
only this time there's still hope for things to get better.
two major events occurred on the 27th of December, 2007. it was a day that rocked my world.
Kenyans voted for a president,
the election being rigged to favor the incumbent. the next 30-odd days awash with blood in a nation heralded as Africa's most peaceful. near 1000 deaths triggered by the lies of the rulers.
Pakistanis lost and began mourning for one of the most prominent women in southern Asian politics.
Benazir Bhutto, the former twice-run Prime Minister, recently returned from Exile, was shot in the back of the head and then blown up by a suicide bomber.
i spent the next several months of my life engrossed entirely in news and updates concerning these two events. i spent countless hours with my friend Joy, from Kenya, listening to my radio for any news of change and peace in her homeland.
i spent nearly an hour in a Barnes & Noble stateside a month later, reading Benazir's book, 'Reconciliation'. the final draft of this manuscript was handed to her friend and editor the morning before her assassination. i read the whole first chapter, all 17 pages, trembling in the plush chair.
tomorrow marks the first anniversary of both of these monumental events.
some great change has come to these two nations, while yet another crisis looms for one and progress has been slow in another. tomorrow i will likely sit, trembling, reading the headlines commemorating such tragic loss of life.
only this time there's still hope for things to get better.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Freedom of Speech... French Style!
when upset about a government policy or action there is but one thing to do to voice your anger:
burn a car.
-/-/---
France, though they are often insulted in ways that would make any national of any such country bristle and buckle, is seemingly a more impressively democratic nation than the United States, or Great Britain.
the French seem to take to the streets at the slightest hint of unfairness within government policies.
but then, who says there's anything slight about racism, unemployment, homelessness, and ghetto-style poverty?
i know why they did it then in 2005.
i know why they continue to fight back.
i know that they are not alone in their anger.
burn a car.
-/-/---
France, though they are often insulted in ways that would make any national of any such country bristle and buckle, is seemingly a more impressively democratic nation than the United States, or Great Britain.
the French seem to take to the streets at the slightest hint of unfairness within government policies.
but then, who says there's anything slight about racism, unemployment, homelessness, and ghetto-style poverty?
i know why they did it then in 2005.
i know why they continue to fight back.
i know that they are not alone in their anger.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
LAISSEZ FAIRE: Dedicated to the uninsured 47 million Americans.
Laissez Faire
generally adored
this system fortunato
rarely abhored
maker of the ghetto
in a country hailed
by three hundred million hearts
covered if failed
with doctored charts
we hide the effects
defy the attacks
coming from rejects
lost with no chance
highest bidder, step up!
fight for your cash
and trample the Gallop
see? ain't no backlash!
we keep 'em down n' broke
what they got to take?
might be the stroke
or backyard snake
build my empire on your back
you slave, slave away for me
i cut your paycheck
damnit, don't cry when you bleed!
you're gonna stain my Persian
walk out of here and stay
i give you compensation
to keep the Wobblies at bay
don't try to organize
put those chains back on!
when you gonna realize
life ain't fair to a peon!
we switch it up now, boss
we take back the mic
you gonna hafta cut your loss
or we goin' on strike!
don't tell us what to do
we know what's ours to claim
and we gonna take it, too!
you didn't listen--damn shame
we want healthcare--swear it!
you've killed too many
we're gonna live--declare it!
no more big money
i'm gonna tell my kids to come
what corporations got wrong
tell 'em what is good n' done
apologize it took so long
you can have your competition
just don't shoot craps with strife
wheel n' deal to bold fruition
but give us liberty n' life!
--
pax.
generally adored
this system fortunato
rarely abhored
maker of the ghetto
in a country hailed
by three hundred million hearts
covered if failed
with doctored charts
we hide the effects
defy the attacks
coming from rejects
lost with no chance
highest bidder, step up!
fight for your cash
and trample the Gallop
see? ain't no backlash!
we keep 'em down n' broke
what they got to take?
might be the stroke
or backyard snake
build my empire on your back
you slave, slave away for me
i cut your paycheck
damnit, don't cry when you bleed!
you're gonna stain my Persian
walk out of here and stay
i give you compensation
to keep the Wobblies at bay
don't try to organize
put those chains back on!
when you gonna realize
life ain't fair to a peon!
we switch it up now, boss
we take back the mic
you gonna hafta cut your loss
or we goin' on strike!
don't tell us what to do
we know what's ours to claim
and we gonna take it, too!
you didn't listen--damn shame
we want healthcare--swear it!
you've killed too many
we're gonna live--declare it!
no more big money
i'm gonna tell my kids to come
what corporations got wrong
tell 'em what is good n' done
apologize it took so long
you can have your competition
just don't shoot craps with strife
wheel n' deal to bold fruition
but give us liberty n' life!
--
pax.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
must be that the world's gone lame.
i found this horrifying article last night after reading 90+ pages from a book i had to read for history class (which ironically ties in because the last two chapters of this book detail the 1899 Newsies strike in New York City, and several subsequent strikes shortly after the turn of the century).
this article, found on my Yahoo! browser as i went to check my e-mail last night right after grabbing some dinner and returning to my room, lit a fire in my idling heart.
i am reading a powerful book written by the honored Dr. King, Why We Can't Wait, in 1963. it has touched something in my warring, violent heart that i thought i had dealt with and reasoned away.
i thought i'd finally come to grips with a philosophy called "Christian Realism", which entails a desire for peace via peaceful methods, but a realisation that there are certain situations in this world, ALL (in my belief) affecting civilian casualties and the defense thereof. it is the belief that Dietrich Bonhoeffer acted justly in his reaction to Hitler's war on the Jews and half the modern world over 60 years ago. Bonhoeffer, a German minister, was in league with a group intent on assassinating the Fuehrer. and on numerous occasions they very nearly did. and as a result many of them, brother Dietrich included, were executed within a narrow margin of War's End in Europe.
so that's where i think i normally am. i spend my time reading the writings of men like Ernesto 'Che' Guevara, Reinhold Niebuhr, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, and (most painfully and obviously) my dear brother Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., the one i feel closest to as i read his words or hear his voice.
and, like i said, it is painful to read Martin's words on peace and nonviolent resistance.
it is hard to feel so strongly against oppression and know that there are situations in which i would take up arms to defend the weak, the poor, the oppressed, and frankly any kid who needed help and couldn't get it any other way.
but then, there are situations where nonviolence works to get the point across, if not to completely begin a surge in liberation... though in the case of the US Civil Rights Movement it is often a longer, slower battle to continue to suffer for.
i found a video today that changed my perspective on other social struggles and movements around the world in which nonviolence is used and definitely gets the point across.
EZLN supporters (i.e. the People) storm a military outpost, unarmed. i'm not sure what's going on or what their intent is as they storm in, but it's the coolest thing ever to watch them break the barbed wire fence and march right up into the outpost, forcing the ARMED soldiers back against the walls of the central building.
just watch. there's hope in nonviolence that i didn't know existed beyond these borders.
blows me away!
this article, found on my Yahoo! browser as i went to check my e-mail last night right after grabbing some dinner and returning to my room, lit a fire in my idling heart.
i am reading a powerful book written by the honored Dr. King, Why We Can't Wait, in 1963. it has touched something in my warring, violent heart that i thought i had dealt with and reasoned away.
i thought i'd finally come to grips with a philosophy called "Christian Realism", which entails a desire for peace via peaceful methods, but a realisation that there are certain situations in this world, ALL (in my belief) affecting civilian casualties and the defense thereof. it is the belief that Dietrich Bonhoeffer acted justly in his reaction to Hitler's war on the Jews and half the modern world over 60 years ago. Bonhoeffer, a German minister, was in league with a group intent on assassinating the Fuehrer. and on numerous occasions they very nearly did. and as a result many of them, brother Dietrich included, were executed within a narrow margin of War's End in Europe.
so that's where i think i normally am. i spend my time reading the writings of men like Ernesto 'Che' Guevara, Reinhold Niebuhr, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, and (most painfully and obviously) my dear brother Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., the one i feel closest to as i read his words or hear his voice.
and, like i said, it is painful to read Martin's words on peace and nonviolent resistance.
it is hard to feel so strongly against oppression and know that there are situations in which i would take up arms to defend the weak, the poor, the oppressed, and frankly any kid who needed help and couldn't get it any other way.
but then, there are situations where nonviolence works to get the point across, if not to completely begin a surge in liberation... though in the case of the US Civil Rights Movement it is often a longer, slower battle to continue to suffer for.
i found a video today that changed my perspective on other social struggles and movements around the world in which nonviolence is used and definitely gets the point across.
EZLN supporters (i.e. the People) storm a military outpost, unarmed. i'm not sure what's going on or what their intent is as they storm in, but it's the coolest thing ever to watch them break the barbed wire fence and march right up into the outpost, forcing the ARMED soldiers back against the walls of the central building.
just watch. there's hope in nonviolence that i didn't know existed beyond these borders.
blows me away!
Friday, September 19, 2008
26
the windshield wiper's been at it for a few minutes. it's starting to thump against the car.
hustle, bustle, and, so much muscle
cells about to separate
i find it hard to concentrate
and, temporary this
cash and carry 'em
stepping up to indicate
the time has come to deviate
the rain pours harder. i grip the wheel with my left hand, holding on tight as the curves wind.
and, all i want is for you to be happy
and, take this moment to make you my family
and, finally you have found something perfect
and, finally you have found...
my right hand is so blessed as to be interlocked with yours. you lean toward me in your seat, fingers rapt with mine.
death defying this
mess i'm buying its
raining down with love and hate
now, i find it hard to motivate
the tires peel and turn as i speed on to my house to show off my amazing best friend-turned-love.
and, estuary is, blessed but scary
heart's about to palpitate
i'm not about to hesitate
and, want to treasure the rest of your days here
and, give you pleasure in so many ways dear
you speak loud enough to be heard over our new favorite song, telling me of your family, giving me more reason to love them and you.
and, finally you have found something perfect
and, finally you have found...
here we go
our windows are rolled down just enough, the rain-guards not really working and i don't care as my arms gets sprayed by the intoxicating rain.
do you want me to show up for duty?
and, serve this woman, and honor her beauty
and, finally you have found something perfect
and, finally you have found...
hungry and thirsty, still several tens of miles from a dinner we're incredibly late for, there's peace in your touch and the fleeting glance.
...yourself... with me, will
you, agree to take this man
into your world
and now, we are as one
i'm blown away by who you are, where you're from and that you have faith in us despite neither of us having a great track record.
my lone ranger
the, heat-exchanger
is, living in this figure eight
now i do my best to recreate
and, sweet precision
and, soft collision
heart's about to palpitate
now i find it hard to separate
i am broken, my past the rap sheet of a criminal of the heart. too many broken behind me, my own in shambles...
and, all i want is for you to be happy
and, take this woman and make you my family
and, finally you have found someone perfect
and, finally you have found...
you are perfect, the beautiful woman i love and will hold and hold dear forever. i want you and you alone.
all i want is for you to be happy
and, take this woman and make you my family
and, finally you have found someone perfect
and, finally you have found...
Yourself...
as the final word rings out i look into your eyes a second longer than you'd like as the road blurs beneath us.
as the final ring is cast and dyed i breathe in something never tasted before. i know. i love you. te quiero tanto... tanto... tanto... tanto... tanto.....
[lyrics by Red Hot Chili Peppers, "Hard to Concentrate", sentences written entirely, completely genuinely, by me]
Two.
"Inti and Ricardo ran into some small boys and went to the house of a young peasant with six children, who received them very well and gave them a lot of information... Posing as one of Inti's assistants, i went to talk to the peasant... He told us about other peasants, but we could not be entirely confident about his information because he was not very specific. El Medico [Moro] treates the children who had worms and a mare had kicked one of them; then we headed off."
--February 9 & 10 [1967]
--Ernesto 'Che' Guevara's Bolivian Diary
"As Jesus continued on toward Jerusalem, he reached the border between Galilee and Samaria. As he entered a village there, ten lepers stood at a distance, crying out, 'Jesus, Master, have mercy on us!' He looked at them and said, 'Go show yourselves to the priests.' And as they went, they were cleansed of their leprosy."
--Verses 11-14 of Chapter 17
--Luke's Gospel, New Living Translation
two revolutionaries interested in the health and reality of the people around them as they strive to make a change.
both died by the age of 40, working, fighting, labouring, striving, living, dying for the people they cared for and loved.
Salaams.
--February 9 & 10 [1967]
--Ernesto 'Che' Guevara's Bolivian Diary
"As Jesus continued on toward Jerusalem, he reached the border between Galilee and Samaria. As he entered a village there, ten lepers stood at a distance, crying out, 'Jesus, Master, have mercy on us!' He looked at them and said, 'Go show yourselves to the priests.' And as they went, they were cleansed of their leprosy."
--Verses 11-14 of Chapter 17
--Luke's Gospel, New Living Translation
two revolutionaries interested in the health and reality of the people around them as they strive to make a change.
both died by the age of 40, working, fighting, labouring, striving, living, dying for the people they cared for and loved.
Salaams.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Loophole Legislation (that makes me want to use strong language)
I was reading about something last night that successfully pissed me off and nearly sent me into an outrage!
the downside of this well-meaning outrage was that there's really no longer anyone alive responsible for it and it's results that i could do any damage to.
so i let the initial reactionary feelings rest.
but the idea started working on me and i started writing something down last night...
first, here's what i was reading about. maybe for some of my readers this is a familiar old term:
The Pupil Placement Law.
1954--Brown v. Board of Education--Segregation outlawed because nothing can ever really be "separate but equal."
here's what the famed brother, Dr. King, had to say about it,
"There was another factor in the slow pace of progress, a factor of which few are aware and even fewer understand. It is an unadvertised fact that soon after the 1954 decision the Supreme Court retreated from its own position by giving approval to the Pupil Placement Law. This law permitted the states themselves to determine where school children might be placed by virtue of family background, special ability and other subjective criteria. The Pupil Placement Law was almost as far-reaching in modifying and limiting the integration of schools as the original decision had been in attempting to eliminate segregation. Without technically reversing itself, the Court had granted legal sanction to tokenism and thereby guaranteed that segregation, in substance, would last for an indefinite period, though formally it was illegal."
---Martin Luther King, Jr., Why We Can't Wait
this is the part of the book at which i immediately yelled out my favourite expletive... probably more than once. it's a good thing i was in a pretty much empty campus parking lot (although ironically 10 minutes beforehand a campus police cruiser had driven up behind me, probably smelling for pot smoke, since i generally dress the perfect part of the druggie hippie).
i think i stood up and threw my hands in the air in exasperation and swore some more, beginning to pace, FURIOUS.
sadly of course, i can't REALLY blame all whites for that. as much as i wanted so badly to do so. at that moment i know i would have offered some very choice words to those Supreme Court Justices if they had somehow shown their face on my campus. and i probably would have been so vocal that that squad car that sniffed me would be back in a flash to lock me up for "disturbing the peace".
and to think that allowing segregation to continue, when they did, wasn't an act of gregariously disturbing the peace!
finally realizing there was nothing i could do to change the past, i pulled out a notebook from my satchel on the curb, took a swig from my water bottle and pulled my pen out of my pocket, leaning against a small tree to begin writing something i'm surprised i can still read, for my hands were shaking with anger as the ink flowed...
"Loophole Legislation--9.8.08
Words like 'as best seen fit' are Bull. if the president/congress/or powers that be promise financial aif to a region or country in need of reconstructionary funding, then nowhere in the written promisory note can ambiguous wording, such as that often used for the betterment of the U.S. Constitution, be applied. If it is, there is a negative legislative loophole.
If not, there is a good loophole in the system based on greed, and said moneys may actually make it into greater manifestation among the people for whom it is intended."
as i finished writing last night, i recalled to memory a scene from the film Amazing Grace, in which the abolitionists in the British Parliament drafted a simple law that endangered British sailing vessels as they tried to hide under the neutral flag of the colonies, as those particular vessels carried slaves from Africa to the Isles. if suddenly all ships in those waters bearing the flag of the colonies could become fair game, then the slave trade would be greatly hindered for too many sailors and captains would be too afraid to make that journey knowing they were suddenly viable targets for enemy warships.
if there can be a good piece of loophole legislation like that, then there's certainly something that can be done today to look out for the interests of the masses and the oppressed. the problem is that today there's probably some way to pay closer attention and with a federal system in place, relying also on the permissions of a presidential and executive voice, then it's a lot harder to pass legislation so quickly that could truly benefit those already downtrodden by the law.
anyone have any ideas on this? what if i could actually get my readership to come forward and comment in larger numbers and assist me in the struggle to find a way to pass a protectorate law WITHOUT ambiguous wording...
will anyone please help me?
my father said something in church last week about how so many church-goers complain about change in the church and want things to be done the same old way. he then said that so many get so frustrated and upset about change occurring within a church body, and said that he holds out on giving this response one-on-one, but went ahead and said to the larger group:
"if you're going to get upset about something, let's get upset about AIDS in Africa, starving children or the situation in Darfur. Let's make it about something that matters for crying out loud!"
on that note, i ask you:
will you stand up and not get pissed about the words i use to describe things that i hate, to describe injustice that is unfit for human witness! these stronger words should mean nothing to you in comparison with the greater evils i'm telling you about!
stand against racism
stand against hate
stand against poverty
stand against slavery
stand against apartheid
stand against injustice!
i wish the unrest of God's spirit to be upon you until you take action.
may peace flee from your heart until peace and rest are gained for the world.
--BENEDICTION--
the downside of this well-meaning outrage was that there's really no longer anyone alive responsible for it and it's results that i could do any damage to.
so i let the initial reactionary feelings rest.
but the idea started working on me and i started writing something down last night...
first, here's what i was reading about. maybe for some of my readers this is a familiar old term:
The Pupil Placement Law.
1954--Brown v. Board of Education--Segregation outlawed because nothing can ever really be "separate but equal."
here's what the famed brother, Dr. King, had to say about it,
"There was another factor in the slow pace of progress, a factor of which few are aware and even fewer understand. It is an unadvertised fact that soon after the 1954 decision the Supreme Court retreated from its own position by giving approval to the Pupil Placement Law. This law permitted the states themselves to determine where school children might be placed by virtue of family background, special ability and other subjective criteria. The Pupil Placement Law was almost as far-reaching in modifying and limiting the integration of schools as the original decision had been in attempting to eliminate segregation. Without technically reversing itself, the Court had granted legal sanction to tokenism and thereby guaranteed that segregation, in substance, would last for an indefinite period, though formally it was illegal."
---Martin Luther King, Jr., Why We Can't Wait
this is the part of the book at which i immediately yelled out my favourite expletive... probably more than once. it's a good thing i was in a pretty much empty campus parking lot (although ironically 10 minutes beforehand a campus police cruiser had driven up behind me, probably smelling for pot smoke, since i generally dress the perfect part of the druggie hippie).
i think i stood up and threw my hands in the air in exasperation and swore some more, beginning to pace, FURIOUS.
sadly of course, i can't REALLY blame all whites for that. as much as i wanted so badly to do so. at that moment i know i would have offered some very choice words to those Supreme Court Justices if they had somehow shown their face on my campus. and i probably would have been so vocal that that squad car that sniffed me would be back in a flash to lock me up for "disturbing the peace".
and to think that allowing segregation to continue, when they did, wasn't an act of gregariously disturbing the peace!
finally realizing there was nothing i could do to change the past, i pulled out a notebook from my satchel on the curb, took a swig from my water bottle and pulled my pen out of my pocket, leaning against a small tree to begin writing something i'm surprised i can still read, for my hands were shaking with anger as the ink flowed...
"Loophole Legislation--9.8.08
Words like 'as best seen fit' are Bull. if the president/congress/or powers that be promise financial aif to a region or country in need of reconstructionary funding, then nowhere in the written promisory note can ambiguous wording, such as that often used for the betterment of the U.S. Constitution, be applied. If it is, there is a negative legislative loophole.
If not, there is a good loophole in the system based on greed, and said moneys may actually make it into greater manifestation among the people for whom it is intended."
as i finished writing last night, i recalled to memory a scene from the film Amazing Grace, in which the abolitionists in the British Parliament drafted a simple law that endangered British sailing vessels as they tried to hide under the neutral flag of the colonies, as those particular vessels carried slaves from Africa to the Isles. if suddenly all ships in those waters bearing the flag of the colonies could become fair game, then the slave trade would be greatly hindered for too many sailors and captains would be too afraid to make that journey knowing they were suddenly viable targets for enemy warships.
if there can be a good piece of loophole legislation like that, then there's certainly something that can be done today to look out for the interests of the masses and the oppressed. the problem is that today there's probably some way to pay closer attention and with a federal system in place, relying also on the permissions of a presidential and executive voice, then it's a lot harder to pass legislation so quickly that could truly benefit those already downtrodden by the law.
anyone have any ideas on this? what if i could actually get my readership to come forward and comment in larger numbers and assist me in the struggle to find a way to pass a protectorate law WITHOUT ambiguous wording...
will anyone please help me?
my father said something in church last week about how so many church-goers complain about change in the church and want things to be done the same old way. he then said that so many get so frustrated and upset about change occurring within a church body, and said that he holds out on giving this response one-on-one, but went ahead and said to the larger group:
"if you're going to get upset about something, let's get upset about AIDS in Africa, starving children or the situation in Darfur. Let's make it about something that matters for crying out loud!"
on that note, i ask you:
will you stand up and not get pissed about the words i use to describe things that i hate, to describe injustice that is unfit for human witness! these stronger words should mean nothing to you in comparison with the greater evils i'm telling you about!
stand against racism
stand against hate
stand against poverty
stand against slavery
stand against apartheid
stand against injustice!
i wish the unrest of God's spirit to be upon you until you take action.
may peace flee from your heart until peace and rest are gained for the world.
--BENEDICTION--
Sunday, September 7, 2008
i lose
one of my favourite games of all time is Risk.
i think i have this vague sense that at some point in history i won that game once.
but as a general rule, i know i always lose.
and yet it is still among my favourites.
while sitting here before church, reading about suffering for the Name (a Name i believe is also so often attributed to true justice and righteous acts for the sake of the people) from the sermon on the mount, and listening to Coldplay's Viva la Vida, it occurred to me exactly why i love that game so much!
i love fighting hard--to the last man--until my imminent defeat against an enemy so big that i know they'll crush me, but until that moment, until that day, I'LL GIVE 'EM HELL!
in that sense it feels like reality, the way i expect my life to play out if God puts me where i think he'll put me--
before an unjust enemy.
write your letters
grit your teeth
say your prayers
lock and load.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
routinized, scrutinized, mutinized
two of the title words are not recognized by the google dictionary spellings. they're not usually turned into verbs in this way, they are meant to be nouns and things that just happen without any intent. overtly.
however, i feel like college has begun to routinize me, which is not exactly what i would desire for myself, or for anyone i care about. it strips away my ability to frequently make random calls and break from the "normal". classes are great, as i've already said, but i feel mildly constrained by the routine that these classes are pushing on me.
it makes sense to me then that i scrutinize the system that does this to me. after all, are we not taught to think for ourselves in school? ;) i'm not trying to write this in an annoying way, or a rebellious manner. i say this pretty light-heartedly, but i like to examine the vague irony of it. i am routinized by things that i love, and by someone i love, whose voice every night is so calming and intoxicating that it soothes my mind and body to sleep, even if my heart denies me sleep by pounding fiercely inside my tossing and turning body, until i wrap my arms around my pillow and "pretend i am kissin the lips that i am missin".
that's the kind of routine i used to hate about having a girlfriend, but things have changed since that sort of routine came after getting to know her so much better on a friendship level for nearly two months, spending at least an hour or two in conversation with her nearly every single day, face to face, shopping with her for foods both of us can eat, sodas she'll make me finish after her first sip, and tiny pieces of manufactured and discovered oddities in jewelry stores that accentuate beautiful characteristics of her or of any other soul that dons them.
the routine of her voice every night these past two weeks has been really helpful for me. and really enlightening, as well.
so, due to the scrutiny
i've placed on the layers of routine
that affect my every day's and "some day's"
i have determined that i will break away from all of the unhealthy routines
and focus only on the healthy ones, allowing the rest to fit in place
and my branching out--i'll call it mutiny--
will allow me to make some changes
in the way this world views justice.
i declare mutiny against the harmful status quo.
i may only have a semester here at this particular institution, which means i've got a few months to make a mark and make sure as many in the region as possible, are aware of injustice on a global scale, and have begun to find methods of fighting back.
routine scrutinized produces mutiny.
i like it this way ;)
however, i feel like college has begun to routinize me, which is not exactly what i would desire for myself, or for anyone i care about. it strips away my ability to frequently make random calls and break from the "normal". classes are great, as i've already said, but i feel mildly constrained by the routine that these classes are pushing on me.
it makes sense to me then that i scrutinize the system that does this to me. after all, are we not taught to think for ourselves in school? ;) i'm not trying to write this in an annoying way, or a rebellious manner. i say this pretty light-heartedly, but i like to examine the vague irony of it. i am routinized by things that i love, and by someone i love, whose voice every night is so calming and intoxicating that it soothes my mind and body to sleep, even if my heart denies me sleep by pounding fiercely inside my tossing and turning body, until i wrap my arms around my pillow and "pretend i am kissin the lips that i am missin".
that's the kind of routine i used to hate about having a girlfriend, but things have changed since that sort of routine came after getting to know her so much better on a friendship level for nearly two months, spending at least an hour or two in conversation with her nearly every single day, face to face, shopping with her for foods both of us can eat, sodas she'll make me finish after her first sip, and tiny pieces of manufactured and discovered oddities in jewelry stores that accentuate beautiful characteristics of her or of any other soul that dons them.
the routine of her voice every night these past two weeks has been really helpful for me. and really enlightening, as well.
so, due to the scrutiny
i've placed on the layers of routine
that affect my every day's and "some day's"
i have determined that i will break away from all of the unhealthy routines
and focus only on the healthy ones, allowing the rest to fit in place
and my branching out--i'll call it mutiny--
will allow me to make some changes
in the way this world views justice.
i declare mutiny against the harmful status quo.
i may only have a semester here at this particular institution, which means i've got a few months to make a mark and make sure as many in the region as possible, are aware of injustice on a global scale, and have begun to find methods of fighting back.
routine scrutinized produces mutiny.
i like it this way ;)
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Darfuri Mercenaries?
as you know if you've read anything on here from last week, i've been coming to terms with a more active (rather than passive/pacifist) idea of justice.
i've been reading authors--trusted men--who wrote of ending violence and oppression with violence.
i've been struggling immensely in the past few years with this and, seeing now that either ideal fails me, i'm falling in line with "christian realism", a concept attributed to a christian ex-pacifist named Reinhold Niebhur.
he reasoned that this is a fallen world, where ideals such as ever-enforced, strict pacifism is no longer a realistic option.
violence should only ever be the last resort, when sanctions and politics and other forms of diplomacy and peaceful campaigns no longer work.
in Darfur, after about 5 YEARS, no such thing as peaceful attempts at change are working anymore.
Blackwater, yes Blackwater, has agreed to step in and train 1000 of the 9000 African Union Peacekeepers already in-country to be a mobile urgent-response force to combat Janjaweed and other factions preying on civilians in the region.
frankly, i never wanted the obstinate President Omar al-Bashir to ever let it get this far, but seeing as how he's not likely to turn himself in to the International Criminal Court and thus stem the onslaught in western Sudan, i am thankful that more immediate action will be taken to protect the civilians of Darfur who've already endured so much loss of life and livelihood.
i know there is much controversy surrounding the exact inner-workings of Blackwater. it's almost intimidating to think of how "organized" they are, according to Marshall Adame's comment.
but to be even more frank, this is likely the lesser of two evils, and i support upgraded protection of civilians whole-heartedly.
i've been reading authors--trusted men--who wrote of ending violence and oppression with violence.
i've been struggling immensely in the past few years with this and, seeing now that either ideal fails me, i'm falling in line with "christian realism", a concept attributed to a christian ex-pacifist named Reinhold Niebhur.
he reasoned that this is a fallen world, where ideals such as ever-enforced, strict pacifism is no longer a realistic option.
violence should only ever be the last resort, when sanctions and politics and other forms of diplomacy and peaceful campaigns no longer work.
in Darfur, after about 5 YEARS, no such thing as peaceful attempts at change are working anymore.
Blackwater, yes Blackwater, has agreed to step in and train 1000 of the 9000 African Union Peacekeepers already in-country to be a mobile urgent-response force to combat Janjaweed and other factions preying on civilians in the region.frankly, i never wanted the obstinate President Omar al-Bashir to ever let it get this far, but seeing as how he's not likely to turn himself in to the International Criminal Court and thus stem the onslaught in western Sudan, i am thankful that more immediate action will be taken to protect the civilians of Darfur who've already endured so much loss of life and livelihood.
i know there is much controversy surrounding the exact inner-workings of Blackwater. it's almost intimidating to think of how "organized" they are, according to Marshall Adame's comment.
but to be even more frank, this is likely the lesser of two evils, and i support upgraded protection of civilians whole-heartedly.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Cambodia-Phnom Penh-Tuol Sleng
three times now since waking up today, Cambodia's come to mind.
punjabican and i are coming to a place where our futures after college are nearing rapidly and we need to get a strong jump on exactly what will be involved in the process of metamorphosis between college and 'the real world'. though i understand the sentiment and reality of college being its own safe little world, i've also come to find that there is a great deal that is accessible in my life at this point.
i think that up until this point i've blinded myself to the options due to my location in nearly rural Indiana... a place i'm still hardly fond of, all things considered.
but now i'm starting to realize i really need to break out of this self-inflicted coma and strike out into the world bravely and recklessly. i've held back for fear of dead-ending (but worse dead-end can you come to than an intentional stand-still?) and for fear of not knowing enough and not being able to do anything. ignorance was never really bliss for me, because i've always wanted to learn that which i do not already know. and now that i'm learning more and more i only find my past and present ignorance to be an aggravation i wish to have dealt without.
i wish people here in the western world knew more about people beyond their borders, our borders... i wish people here cared about the Khmer Rouge's devastating affects, and knew what language is spoken in countries in the Horn of Africa, and knew how many years people have been held captive by FARC in Colombia, and understood what overpopulation can do to a country that is becoming the economic forefront with no moral accountability from the international community.
i wish a lot of things. i wish people didn't want to wage war on other people they don't understand. i wish they would change their minds.
so i pray for them, i pray for the future that people who learn and know and realise will be able to affect in some way. i pray that i can be effective as well in causing change.
i wish americans and the rest of us ruling the western world (and everyone underneath us) could learn to "...live simply so that others may simply live."
three times now since waking up today, Cambodia's come to mind. i'm not sure where to start, i'm relatively certain that people simply won't care about an aging museum documenting lost lives and forgotten atrocities, despite the fact that it's invaluable history is crumbling and yellowing and fading and walking precariously near the edge of oblivion and the unknown.
i don't think you will care to look anything up that i mentioned in here, after reading this. but i hope you will.
punjabican and i are aspiring to go to Tuol Sleng, a museum in Phnom Penh, the capital of Cambodia, that's taken a stand in the former prison building, known as S-21, where all the people whose faces and stories adorn the walls were executed en masse simply because the Khmer Rouge wanted to revitalize a nation 30 years ago...
we dream of being able to go to this museum and spend several months photographing and scanning everything into an electronic vault where it should hopefully never be forgotten. we're also hoping for grant money to stabilize the museum itself and all its displays of lives lost. though the specifics are not yet managed, this is our hope, and maybe God will see fit to send us to a forgotten place to help people everywhere else remember them.
please pray for us, pray for an end to ignorance around the world and in your own homes and schools.
Asanteni sana, watu wangu!
Peace be with you.
punjabican and i are coming to a place where our futures after college are nearing rapidly and we need to get a strong jump on exactly what will be involved in the process of metamorphosis between college and 'the real world'. though i understand the sentiment and reality of college being its own safe little world, i've also come to find that there is a great deal that is accessible in my life at this point.
i think that up until this point i've blinded myself to the options due to my location in nearly rural Indiana... a place i'm still hardly fond of, all things considered.
but now i'm starting to realize i really need to break out of this self-inflicted coma and strike out into the world bravely and recklessly. i've held back for fear of dead-ending (but worse dead-end can you come to than an intentional stand-still?) and for fear of not knowing enough and not being able to do anything. ignorance was never really bliss for me, because i've always wanted to learn that which i do not already know. and now that i'm learning more and more i only find my past and present ignorance to be an aggravation i wish to have dealt without.
i wish people here in the western world knew more about people beyond their borders, our borders... i wish people here cared about the Khmer Rouge's devastating affects, and knew what language is spoken in countries in the Horn of Africa, and knew how many years people have been held captive by FARC in Colombia, and understood what overpopulation can do to a country that is becoming the economic forefront with no moral accountability from the international community.
i wish a lot of things. i wish people didn't want to wage war on other people they don't understand. i wish they would change their minds.
so i pray for them, i pray for the future that people who learn and know and realise will be able to affect in some way. i pray that i can be effective as well in causing change.
i wish americans and the rest of us ruling the western world (and everyone underneath us) could learn to "...live simply so that others may simply live."
three times now since waking up today, Cambodia's come to mind. i'm not sure where to start, i'm relatively certain that people simply won't care about an aging museum documenting lost lives and forgotten atrocities, despite the fact that it's invaluable history is crumbling and yellowing and fading and walking precariously near the edge of oblivion and the unknown.
i don't think you will care to look anything up that i mentioned in here, after reading this. but i hope you will.
punjabican and i are aspiring to go to Tuol Sleng, a museum in Phnom Penh, the capital of Cambodia, that's taken a stand in the former prison building, known as S-21, where all the people whose faces and stories adorn the walls were executed en masse simply because the Khmer Rouge wanted to revitalize a nation 30 years ago...
we dream of being able to go to this museum and spend several months photographing and scanning everything into an electronic vault where it should hopefully never be forgotten. we're also hoping for grant money to stabilize the museum itself and all its displays of lives lost. though the specifics are not yet managed, this is our hope, and maybe God will see fit to send us to a forgotten place to help people everywhere else remember them.
please pray for us, pray for an end to ignorance around the world and in your own homes and schools.
Asanteni sana, watu wangu!
Peace be with you.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
unbreakable: three words brought to you by Bruce Willis
i recently watched the film 'Unbreakable' with my mom, sister, and brother, while dad was out of town. i'm talking about the one by M. Night Shyamalan starring Bruce Willis and Samuel L. Jackson.
i was thinking about how Bruce Willis' character, David Dunn, actually does something about the horrible crimes he learns of, and fights back to rescue people and to bring justice.
if we know that something is going wrong, and we know we can keep someone from getting hurt... why don't we?
i could have gone deeper and written more, but i think those three words are all that need saying:
if we can help people, save people, rescue people,
WHY
DON'T
WE?
i was thinking about how Bruce Willis' character, David Dunn, actually does something about the horrible crimes he learns of, and fights back to rescue people and to bring justice.
if we know that something is going wrong, and we know we can keep someone from getting hurt... why don't we?
i could have gone deeper and written more, but i think those three words are all that need saying:
if we can help people, save people, rescue people,
WHY
DON'T
WE?
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
you provoke me
crawling in the mud, sticking to your fingers, caking your face. you belly down and ease so slowly, silently toward the goal.
the enemy standing at the gate. beyond it is all you ever cared about gaining.
behind you is all you ever cared about--lost.
at this pinnacle... this dare-devil collage of thoughts and racing hearts, your chest burns with everything you've ever felt.
swirling into one surge, one un-dying urge--a tornado of truth and heart.
you have nothing to hold you back any more. between the fences.
to attempt is to kill yourself. to forego, and remain, is suicide. if not worse.
when faced with the moment when the guard looks away, walks away, exists away from your goal--your promise--what not to do other than charge forth?
get up! go! race toward it with all your might!
even as the sights of so many guns bear down upon your bloody forelock, there is little left they can take.
when you can claim it all, just on the other side.
just outside the shiny barbed wire of Guantanamo, a boat is waiting to carry you away to your reality they tried to rob from you.
just JUMP!
God is jumping with you!
--
pax.
the enemy standing at the gate. beyond it is all you ever cared about gaining.
behind you is all you ever cared about--lost.
at this pinnacle... this dare-devil collage of thoughts and racing hearts, your chest burns with everything you've ever felt.
swirling into one surge, one un-dying urge--a tornado of truth and heart.
you have nothing to hold you back any more. between the fences.
to attempt is to kill yourself. to forego, and remain, is suicide. if not worse.
when faced with the moment when the guard looks away, walks away, exists away from your goal--your promise--what not to do other than charge forth?
get up! go! race toward it with all your might!
even as the sights of so many guns bear down upon your bloody forelock, there is little left they can take.
when you can claim it all, just on the other side.
just outside the shiny barbed wire of Guantanamo, a boat is waiting to carry you away to your reality they tried to rob from you.
just JUMP!
God is jumping with you!
--
pax.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Food Not Bombs
i just called their number that i found listed in a couple places online, and i talked to a very friendly and easy-going Desiree, who's gotten hundreds of calls, probably, as so many people have been looking for FNB apparently.
she took my email and is going to pass along that and my number to people she's in contact with where she's at in Bloomington now.
apparently they're going to be camping out in northern indiana to block the building of a mexico-canada interstate, this May.
i don't know if i can join them, but i'd love to once i learn more about the situation.
basically, this is pretty cool, just thought i'd share it since i feel like i could really get involved in some stuff now!
PAX.
she took my email and is going to pass along that and my number to people she's in contact with where she's at in Bloomington now.
apparently they're going to be camping out in northern indiana to block the building of a mexico-canada interstate, this May.
i don't know if i can join them, but i'd love to once i learn more about the situation.
basically, this is pretty cool, just thought i'd share it since i feel like i could really get involved in some stuff now!
PAX.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
so i made a short
...it's all summed up from about 48 minutes of video i shot of a RISK board game with my brother and my dad, and then i've got some random footage from a walk through the park with my friend Christi the day prior. and then i needed some fun opener shots so i got some sunset-ish video during the game, right after one of my turns, and then i returned to find out that dad had rolled for me while micah was attacking me, and i had lost an army while the general was on leave... never. doing. that. again.
i had fun... there's a sequence of dice-rolling and troop-removing in the latter part that gets kinda tedious, but if you enjoy the song ("Silver and Cold" by A.F.I.) then you'll survive, i promise!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YovJIxBke1A
i'm already trying to plan my next short, but i need some actors... i need people willing to play as children. i need a bully, a nerd, a teacher, and a few extras... one way or another, i'll track you all down. i'm thinking of shooting at my church here in Lafayette, but i guess i gotta get some permission first. ;)
i'm planning on not being in front of the camera on this one, so um... have fun guys! tell me whatchya got!
i had fun... there's a sequence of dice-rolling and troop-removing in the latter part that gets kinda tedious, but if you enjoy the song ("Silver and Cold" by A.F.I.) then you'll survive, i promise!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YovJIxBke1A
i'm already trying to plan my next short, but i need some actors... i need people willing to play as children. i need a bully, a nerd, a teacher, and a few extras... one way or another, i'll track you all down. i'm thinking of shooting at my church here in Lafayette, but i guess i gotta get some permission first. ;)
i'm planning on not being in front of the camera on this one, so um... have fun guys! tell me whatchya got!
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Sunday!
today is the first sunday i've had off work since like two months ago! the weather outside is bloody brilliant!
(here's a look at my view from the library's second floor! and then one of me, chillin here, too!)
in about an hour and a half i'll have walked across a lovely little wooden bridge over a creek through many green backyards, and arrived at the house of some friends from church where i'll be worshipping with them together in the setting of their home church... i.e. church done the way it once was, back 2000 years ago... including a taco bar when we're finished haha! (ok, maybe peter, paul, and mary never had quite this kind of fiesta, but you get the picture!)
i had a lovely lunch, drove around a bit with the windows down, blasting great music and enjoying the view (for once, Indiana's farms actually become incredibly appealing lol!) and now, as you know, i'm chillin at the library while micah reads and i watch a couple old-school episodes of Disney channel's 'So Weird'... from like seriously 6 or 7 years ago! man this show rocks!
as i've come to discover... Peace is good, it is very good indeed.
PAX.
-archer
(here's a look at my view from the library's second floor! and then one of me, chillin here, too!)
in about an hour and a half i'll have walked across a lovely little wooden bridge over a creek through many green backyards, and arrived at the house of some friends from church where i'll be worshipping with them together in the setting of their home church... i.e. church done the way it once was, back 2000 years ago... including a taco bar when we're finished haha! (ok, maybe peter, paul, and mary never had quite this kind of fiesta, but you get the picture!)
i had a lovely lunch, drove around a bit with the windows down, blasting great music and enjoying the view (for once, Indiana's farms actually become incredibly appealing lol!) and now, as you know, i'm chillin at the library while micah reads and i watch a couple old-school episodes of Disney channel's 'So Weird'... from like seriously 6 or 7 years ago! man this show rocks!
as i've come to discover... Peace is good, it is very good indeed.
PAX.
-archer
Sunday, March 16, 2008
off my chest
when something's bottled up for a while and doesn't go away, it's cool to get it off your chest, even if you risk pain or perpetuating confusion. at least you've said your piece. and now i have peace. and grace to continue.
thanks be to God, my beautiful, adoring Adonai. for you have blessed a humbled man.
thanks be to God, my beautiful, adoring Adonai. for you have blessed a humbled man.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Smile Empty Soul vs. An Unforgettable Pair
i found this video on youtube.
the song's 'This Is War' by Smile Empty Soul
the lyrics are profane, but otherwise not graphic, and the scenes from Black Hawk Down are gruesome, but it fits, in a poetical justice sort of way.
here's the chorus:
"i drove in a car
i flew in a plane
to come to your house
and kick your door in
and now that it's down to this
it's just you and me
i'll blow your f----- head off
for my country"
----
i know half the time all i do on this blog is complain about war and war crimes and human rights abuses.
i know there are lovely flowers out there, but sometimes the stench of death and war can overcome the soft fragrance of flowers.
i don't think i'll stop writing about this stuff every now and then until every last person recognizes that we all need to be "anti-war" in order to let love in.
as an example, today after work i went to a coffee shop i'm falling in love with, down on Main Street today, just myself and my books, and a couple dollars. i ended up only reading about two paragraphs before getting so wrapped up in a fun conversation with Michelle--the girl who served me my regular 16oz. and a mocha that she decorated just for me, since she felt she forced it on me (just so she could make a pretty design) who's hoping to study forensic science in the fall (and already has the "geek's guide" to it--and Greg--a regular customer at Jerry's shop, a good friend of Jerry's, and an expert on experimenting with cigars and making jokes and being welcoming (who has a half-smoked cigar in the ash-tray of his truck and is happily divorced, and doesn't watch many movies).
it was cool. we talked about whatever, for almost an hour, informally, and i came to really like them. i hope i'll run into em both on the same day again, it was really cool. i realized that just having a conversation with them made me really care about them. kinda weird, and over-sappy, but it was cool.
if we just take the time (and have the guts) to talk to someone, we could enjoy an invaluable connection, and the world will become smaller, and nobody will really be a stranger (or enemy) any longer.
thanks God, you made my day with that pair!
pax.
the song's 'This Is War' by Smile Empty Soul
the lyrics are profane, but otherwise not graphic, and the scenes from Black Hawk Down are gruesome, but it fits, in a poetical justice sort of way.
here's the chorus:
"i drove in a car
i flew in a plane
to come to your house
and kick your door in
and now that it's down to this
it's just you and me
i'll blow your f----- head off
for my country"
----
i know half the time all i do on this blog is complain about war and war crimes and human rights abuses.
i know there are lovely flowers out there, but sometimes the stench of death and war can overcome the soft fragrance of flowers.
i don't think i'll stop writing about this stuff every now and then until every last person recognizes that we all need to be "anti-war" in order to let love in.
as an example, today after work i went to a coffee shop i'm falling in love with, down on Main Street today, just myself and my books, and a couple dollars. i ended up only reading about two paragraphs before getting so wrapped up in a fun conversation with Michelle--the girl who served me my regular 16oz. and a mocha that she decorated just for me, since she felt she forced it on me (just so she could make a pretty design) who's hoping to study forensic science in the fall (and already has the "geek's guide" to it--and Greg--a regular customer at Jerry's shop, a good friend of Jerry's, and an expert on experimenting with cigars and making jokes and being welcoming (who has a half-smoked cigar in the ash-tray of his truck and is happily divorced, and doesn't watch many movies).
it was cool. we talked about whatever, for almost an hour, informally, and i came to really like them. i hope i'll run into em both on the same day again, it was really cool. i realized that just having a conversation with them made me really care about them. kinda weird, and over-sappy, but it was cool.
if we just take the time (and have the guts) to talk to someone, we could enjoy an invaluable connection, and the world will become smaller, and nobody will really be a stranger (or enemy) any longer.
thanks God, you made my day with that pair!
pax.
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