Not For Sale Campaign

Well, folks... I suppose I'm back then, aren't I?

I've been away for far too long and I feel sort of like spitting out loads of sappy cliches just to bog you all down. But I won't.

In reality I was always within reach of my computer, bus so hardly involved in anything bigger than myself, and I was ever more encouraged by loved ones to keep my private life private. I made a lot of mistakes with my direction and... the long and short of it is that now I am re-engaged in a battle I've made mention of a few times in these posts.

I've recently been appointed the Deputy State Director for the Indiana chapter of the Not For Sale Campaign [to combat human trafficking and modern-day slavery].

My boss and partner in leadership is Sarah Joy, and she's been a pleasure to work with so far!

About a month ago I applied for the Abolitionist/Investigator Training Academy in San Francisco, a 2-week training session put on by the Not For Sale Campaign four times this summer to train new abolitionists to work closely with the organization, and to watch out for and expose incidents of human trafficking and modern-day slavery in the States, and around the world.

(How's that for a run-on? I'll be sure to keep the rest of this a bit more tidy!)

Shortly after booking my flight and solidifying plans for the trip, I grew bored of sitting around, aching for more to do. In a fit of such monotony, I went to the NFSC website and found out that there are Regional/State Directors who volunteer to coordinate efforts under their supervision in a given geographical area. It was a blessing to see that there was someone I could work with in Indiana and I immideiately contacted Sarah Joy. Within a week, after quickly exchanging all sorts of information, initiatives, ideas, and desires for the future of the states, I asked to join her more officially and the higher-ups granted me that permission, et voila!

We've laid out a lot of groundwork for the organization and have come to understand ourselves as the foundation-layers of the state, working to build a framework for future volunteers to take on the "big things." Due to my upcoming stint at the Academy, I'll be leading the investigative and mapping department, while Sarah will spear-head the victim aftercare initiatives and the public relations. (She's got stellar speaking skills!)

There are several people already lined up to help her with the vision of starting a shelter for trafficked women and children, and hopefully one also for men. We're moving forward at an incredibly rapid pace! I've been so pleased and excited to learn that she and several others have already spoken to various groups and individuals, at multiple events, long before I even came on board.

It's incredible to be involved now, and though I struggle with balance and forcing myself into exhaustion every few days, I'm not willing to stop fighting any time soon.

There's a powerful scene in the film Gattaca, in which the protagonist and his brother are trying to out-swim each other across a lake. The protagonist, Vincent, was born naturally, with the usual human deficiencies, while his brother, Anton, was born with scientific and genetic enhancements, part of a new generation of super-humans. Vincent fights his whole life to become better than he was born to be, to the annoyance of Anton. On the eve of Vincent's dreams coming true, his brother learns the truth, finding that Vincent has taken on someone else's identity and deceived everyone in the space program, desiring to go up in the next shuttle launch.

Anton asks him, between coughing breaths and slaps of water, how he did it, how he made it so far. Vincent turns and, watching his brother who, in defeat, starts to turn to swim back, replies:

"You want to know how I did it? This is how I did it, Anton: I never saved anything for the swim back."



I will take a few moments now and then to tread water and catch my breath. I will pause briefly to remember who drives me to do this, who is fighting slavery right beside me and within me, who is allowing me to be a part of something so necessary, right, and awe-inspiring. I will seek the face of the Adonai who inspires Abolition, and I will continue fighting and swimming and working, and I'll kick the darkness till it bleeds daylight.

Shalom.

17 pages in an hour for her. 17 hours by the radio for them.

i remember it clearly, the second week on outreach, most poignantly on the 27th and 28th of December, my friend borrowing my AM radio, sitting in a small hut on the outskirts of Mwanza, Tanzania.

two major events occurred on the 27th of December, 2007. it was a day that rocked my world.

Kenyans voted for a president, the election being rigged to favor the incumbent. the next 30-odd days awash with blood in a nation heralded as Africa's most peaceful. near 1000 deaths triggered by the lies of the rulers.






Pakistanis lost and began mourning for one of the most prominent women in southern Asian politics.




Benazir Bhutto, the former twice-run Prime Minister, recently returned from Exile, was shot in the back of the head and then blown up by a suicide bomber.

i spent the next several months of my life engrossed entirely in news and updates concerning these two events. i spent countless hours with my friend Joy, from Kenya, listening to my radio for any news of change and peace in her homeland.

i spent nearly an hour in a Barnes & Noble stateside a month later, reading Benazir's book, 'Reconciliation'. the final draft of this manuscript was handed to her friend and editor the morning before her assassination. i read the whole first chapter, all 17 pages, trembling in the plush chair.

tomorrow marks the first anniversary of both of these monumental events.

some great change has come to these two nations, while yet another crisis looms for one and progress has been slow in another. tomorrow i will likely sit, trembling, reading the headlines commemorating such tragic loss of life.

only this time there's still hope for things to get better.

Cluster-bomb might as well be Cluster-F#@%

Finally, a cluster-bomb treaty has been fully developed and is being signed this week by nearly all of the countries in the United Nations.

NEARLY all.

let me quickly cite for you the description of a cluster-bomb, from the AP writer/Yahoo! News article above:

"Cluster bomblets are packed by the hundreds into artillery shells, bombs or missiles that scatter them over vast areas. Some fail to explode immediately. The unexploded bomblets can then lie dormant for years until they are disturbed, often by children attracted by their small size and bright colors."

these are not happy little toys that are harmless to play with. these are bombs that scatter foreign objects throughout the human body for the explicit purpose of stopping someone dead in their tracks. they normally do just that, but to the wrong people...

"[A]ccording to the group Handicap International, 98 percent of cluster-bomb victims are civilians, and 27 percent are children."

and here's the thing about this treaty before the UN. among those nations refusing to sign it we find ruthless nations that have committed countless war crimes, censored and imprisoned their own citizens with little reason, and participated in terrorist actions around the globe.

three of these countries are as follows:

Russia
China
United State of America


...guess what? countries like Lebanon are signing this treaty. the Lebanese government knows what cluster-bombs are like and know that it doesn't want to let them float around the world freely anymore.


"Washington, Moscow and other non-signers say cluster bombs have legitimate military uses such as repelling advancing troop columns."

if you want to repel advancing troop columns, use bullets. they work, too, and don't have a possibility of delayed explosive injury.

maintaining the use of bullets as opposed to weapons such as cluster-f#@%s will not stop the U.S. from being a nation that utilizes terrorism to get what it wants. but hopefully without these shiny play-things governments like those of Russia, China, and the United States of America might actually have to grow a pair and face combat in a more courageous way, as opposed to all-out slaughter of the weak and vulnerable.

If the United States of America would like to look like a nation that honors freedom and democracy, then I simply demand that its government sign the treaty to ban cluster-bombs.

...

and i ask those of you reading, if you live in this country, try to help us look like a little less of the huge asshole we already are and demand an end to cluster-bombs, as well!

thank you.

identity in you?

they say i've got identity in you Jeshua, but they also say you don't love gay folks or black folks or Iraqi folks, that's why i don't think i want THAT identity, i know your justice is different from that of those that claim your name, but i can't handle it, i'm lost, unable to find just you, just you, simply you, where the hell are ya, i'm reaching out in every direction, to my friends, to my causes, joined NAACP SPUSA and one too many churches looking for me, not you just me, i got it wrong, and now i can't get it right.

how can you be so close and so far, how can i climb the highest mountain and somehow miss you, how can i seek justice the way i think you like it and never meet you in the streets, how can i be raised in the church only to founder at the age of 20, how can the church raise me and push me out of the nest, i don't really want church, i want community, i guess i was raised by one that has now morphed into counterfeit, counterfeit cash burns a different color, smoke traces give it away, put it to the test and it fails, see me hurting, no you don't, you're not looking, you're the counterfeit.

i can't find my identity anymore, i don't know where to start, i'm lost in a foreign state, a fresh foreign state of mind, i don't want a lot of readers i want the right ones, i want those i can read with weep with write with smoke cigars and drink with, all that in fellowship with the Rabbi, where did the Rabbi go that no one can show me what he looks like anymore?

a sip of peach tea i find refreshing, i watched a confusing movie today, wish i were home, wish i were at bcc even though i know i've outgrown it their too, not all change is bad but all change hurts sure as hell, i hate this limbo this extraordinary maze, where are you taking me you devilish white rabbit, you're such a pain to me right now, i really am in pain, can't you tell, stop running me in circles and stop for a second won't you, i need peace, i need restoration, i need community, i need identity.

but identity's gone, jumped the gun as i jumped off the wagon, joined a new caravan called college again, they say it'll make me smarter, what if cigars i've never tried are all that i want, what do you say to that you pristine white-washed vanities of vacancy of vision, invest in someone won't you, invest in a man in need of a heart transplant and stop shoving me those bandaids damnit!

God, sweet sweet God, i want what you give, what you have given, what you always give me, i guess i lost it somewhere along the way, did i deny it or have it robbed from me, only a few remotely understand me and that number diminishes, i know i'm not alone but i see so few who are fighting for what i'm fighting for, i'll continue to pray with her, it's been a while since that act, i miss our prayers every night, her sweet soft voice saying amen and good night, i miss knowing she was with me on it, but i stopped praying with her each night and i blame me alone, i am the cause of my problems, i want to come back, but i don't even know which way to go!

i had another chance to find communion tonight, but like so many beyond the walls of the "church" i refused the chance, gave myself an excuse, i've been hurt so many times as i've sought companionship in you Rabbi, don't make me try it again in the wrong place, i'll join the ranks of the gas station guy, he with his beautiful broken eyes, he and i the same are crippled and killed by the christian church, i find more peace with him than i have in a "church building" in a year or so now.

i don't know what i did but i have become your judas.

must be that the world's gone lame.

i found this horrifying article last night after reading 90+ pages from a book i had to read for history class (which ironically ties in because the last two chapters of this book detail the 1899 Newsies strike in New York City, and several subsequent strikes shortly after the turn of the century).

this article, found on my Yahoo! browser as i went to check my e-mail last night right after grabbing some dinner and returning to my room, lit a fire in my idling heart.

i am reading a powerful book written by the honored Dr. King, Why We Can't Wait, in 1963. it has touched something in my warring, violent heart that i thought i had dealt with and reasoned away.

i thought i'd finally come to grips with a philosophy called "Christian Realism", which entails a desire for peace via peaceful methods, but a realisation that there are certain situations in this world, ALL (in my belief) affecting civilian casualties and the defense thereof. it is the belief that Dietrich Bonhoeffer acted justly in his reaction to Hitler's war on the Jews and half the modern world over 60 years ago. Bonhoeffer, a German minister, was in league with a group intent on assassinating the Fuehrer. and on numerous occasions they very nearly did. and as a result many of them, brother Dietrich included, were executed within a narrow margin of War's End in Europe.

so that's where i think i normally am. i spend my time reading the writings of men like Ernesto 'Che' Guevara, Reinhold Niebuhr, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, and (most painfully and obviously) my dear brother Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., the one i feel closest to as i read his words or hear his voice.

and, like i said, it is painful to read Martin's words on peace and nonviolent resistance.
it is hard to feel so strongly against oppression and know that there are situations in which i would take up arms to defend the weak, the poor, the oppressed, and frankly any kid who needed help and couldn't get it any other way.

but then, there are situations where nonviolence works to get the point across, if not to completely begin a surge in liberation... though in the case of the US Civil Rights Movement it is often a longer, slower battle to continue to suffer for.

i found a video today that changed my perspective on other social struggles and movements around the world in which nonviolence is used and definitely gets the point across.

EZLN supporters (i.e. the People) storm a military outpost, unarmed. i'm not sure what's going on or what their intent is as they storm in, but it's the coolest thing ever to watch them break the barbed wire fence and march right up into the outpost, forcing the ARMED soldiers back against the walls of the central building.

just watch. there's hope in nonviolence that i didn't know existed beyond these borders.
blows me away!

Two.

"Inti and Ricardo ran into some small boys and went to the house of a young peasant with six children, who received them very well and gave them a lot of information... Posing as one of Inti's assistants, i went to talk to the peasant... He told us about other peasants, but we could not be entirely confident about his information because he was not very specific. El Medico [Moro] treates the children who had worms and a mare had kicked one of them; then we headed off."
--February 9 & 10 [1967]
--Ernesto 'Che' Guevara's Bolivian Diary

"As Jesus continued on toward Jerusalem, he reached the border between Galilee and Samaria. As he entered a village there, ten lepers stood at a distance, crying out, 'Jesus, Master, have mercy on us!' He looked at them and said, 'Go show yourselves to the priests.' And as they went, they were cleansed of their leprosy."
--Verses 11-14 of Chapter 17
--Luke's Gospel, New Living Translation

two revolutionaries interested in the health and reality of the people around them as they strive to make a change.

both died by the age of 40, working, fighting, labouring, striving, living, dying for the people they cared for and loved.

Salaams.

~a poli sci major~

that's what i am.
and i'm proud of it
excited for it
intoxicated by it

never thought i'd see the day where i'd love class ha!
not when i was in seventh grade, no way, man!

but here i am, loving all my classes!

it's strange, but totally cool!

you know it's a good class when you're unable to sit still, leaning forward too eagerly, laughing too much, and smiling like an idiot. normally those would all be signs of lunacy. or, perhaps, even now they are! either way, i've really enjoyed my four classes so far!

Chinese 101: Introduction to Chinese
Political Science 130: American Government
Political Science 280: Comparative Political Systems
History 202: American History 1877-Present

this morning, sitting in my Pols 130 class, i couldn't help but feel a lot like i do when i listen to Coldplay's 'Viva la Vida'! yesterday afternoon, for class, i read the Declaration of Independence and was struck by the similarities of all the things Jefferson indicated warranting a revolt, and all the things that've pissed me off about the Bush administration.

the problem is that there's not enough to engage the masses in such a movement against the standing government. the Declaration even outlines the need and permissions for "abolishing" the government if "abuses" continue. Jefferson also makes allowance for the larger portion of the colonists being willing to "suffer, as long as evils are sufferable" and to feel no larger reason to take action and declare a new Rule.

at this point, in all fairness, what i perceive to be evils in the current government's way of handling things, are not entirely insufferable. i recognize that there is little that can be done at this point, save from joining movements that wage a more figurative war, fought by the People and for the People, in the modes of the common People.

armed struggle is not even yet a remote option. there's not yet any need. as long as there is any semblance of democratic form in the government that stands in reign today, there is certainly apt opportunity to change for the better, to sacrifice the goods of the few for the good of the many.

i am not opposed to armed struggle under duress, in such a situation as it becomes the unavoidable last straw.

UPRISING, the film:

the Jews are being marched out of the ghetto for the express purpose of being carted out to the concentration camps and extermination camps.

a covert handful of the Jews is armed.

as they turn a corner and the column of Nazi troops is no longer connected in a direct line, madness and chaos interrupt the stoic march as this collective of citizen-soldiers opens fire on the soldiers that would coral them to their deaths.

one bullet, one Nazi.

in this firefight there is an open for hope to eek into the darkness of the ghetto.

the Nazis take a surprisingly long time to deal with the uprising, and by the time everything is dealt with, entire companies of soldiers have been exhausted against less than 50 untrained, passionate rebels.

it's in this saga of struggle and sweat and blood that some of the Jews make it to freedom via the sewers. in this saga justice is the victor.

...

i am a political science major, hell-bent on bringing heaven to earth, even if for a fleeting moment, in the lives of the oppressed.

i don't want enemies, but it comes with the territory.

it's the kind of life and future that i must lay everything else down for, and it is so incredibly exciting to be getting more and more involved with other people who are willing to fight and die for such a beautiful cause as justice, for such a sacredness as Shalom.

i'm going deeper.
the oxygen down here is sparse
many will fall back before the end
many will faint
and before i can even get there
many will be lost

but i will not stop.
as long as there is injustice in the world, the Christian's work is not finished.
the Disciple of a Just God must learn to love Justice... and to love it so much that the thirst for it burns in their throat in the most difficult of global regions, while they know that there will be no way to quench such a divine thirst without expending oneself completely in the struggle for truth and beauty and justice.

let it be a final song, perfectly in tune with God's greatest masterpiece!

Shalom, sisters and brothers.

a journey renewed... again.

if anyone reading this has known me well for over a year you'll definitely recognize these sentiments, especially if i knew you at the end of my spring semester at Lakeland. and there may be a few of you who recognize these exact thoughts if i spoke with you about this in Africa.

i wrote this a week ago in an attempt to understand myself and get some things out on paper. it was unfinished, but maybe i'll like it better this way.

--

my mind is racing. the Jesus of Peace. the God of Justice--would they think this right?
a monster taking on the bigger monster.
theoretically, in being armed, i can kill.
i can take life. not yet, for i am thus far unarmed,
but in the future. three, four, maybe five years, and i'll have the capacity.
but can i pull the trigger?
what hat will i wear?
will i be undercover?
will i be a badge?
or don a suit?
what about combat boots, camo, and a bandana?
will i go guerilla to "seek justice"?
will i be seen as a terrorist, murderer, snake?

or will i even ever really take a life?
in defending the poor and oppressed, will the Prince of Peace fade to the background?
will his call be lost in gunfire?
will i ignore his will?

if no one is to perish, perhaps i can help, and simply aim low-- just high and hard enough to bring them down so they cannot rise again.

can i shatter your bones in your legs and kick your face into the mud and know that you'll walk away from your crime?

--

tell me what you all think, please. every time i think this way i find something that swings me back to the other extreme end of the pendulum and i loathe any hint of violence.

and then again i see violence succeed in releasing captives of cruelty.
and then i remember there's no such thing as redemptive violence.
and then i think to myself, "is rescuing violence the same as redemptive violence?"

war is not the answer. invasion is wrong. occupation is wrong. but what about insurrection? what about violent uprising within a country in order to gain liberation?

i am stuck. i could go for a coffee date or a phone call with anyone interested in talking about this stuff.

peace.
amani.
veritas.

Cambodia-Phnom Penh-Tuol Sleng

three times now since waking up today, Cambodia's come to mind.

punjabican and i are coming to a place where our futures after college are nearing rapidly and we need to get a strong jump on exactly what will be involved in the process of metamorphosis between college and 'the real world'. though i understand the sentiment and reality of college being its own safe little world, i've also come to find that there is a great deal that is accessible in my life at this point.

i think that up until this point i've blinded myself to the options due to my location in nearly rural Indiana... a place i'm still hardly fond of, all things considered.

but now i'm starting to realize i really need to break out of this self-inflicted coma and strike out into the world bravely and recklessly. i've held back for fear of dead-ending (but worse dead-end can you come to than an intentional stand-still?) and for fear of not knowing enough and not being able to do anything. ignorance was never really bliss for me, because i've always wanted to learn that which i do not already know. and now that i'm learning more and more i only find my past and present ignorance to be an aggravation i wish to have dealt without.

i wish people here in the western world knew more about people beyond their borders, our borders... i wish people here cared about the Khmer Rouge's devastating affects, and knew what language is spoken in countries in the Horn of Africa, and knew how many years people have been held captive by FARC in Colombia, and understood what overpopulation can do to a country that is becoming the economic forefront with no moral accountability from the international community.

i wish a lot of things. i wish people didn't want to wage war on other people they don't understand. i wish they would change their minds.

so i pray for them, i pray for the future that people who learn and know and realise will be able to affect in some way. i pray that i can be effective as well in causing change.

i wish americans and the rest of us ruling the western world (and everyone underneath us) could learn to "...live simply so that others may simply live."

three times now since waking up today, Cambodia's come to mind. i'm not sure where to start, i'm relatively certain that people simply won't care about an aging museum documenting lost lives and forgotten atrocities, despite the fact that it's invaluable history is crumbling and yellowing and fading and walking precariously near the edge of oblivion and the unknown.

i don't think you will care to look anything up that i mentioned in here, after reading this. but i hope you will.

punjabican and i are aspiring to go to Tuol Sleng, a museum in Phnom Penh, the capital of Cambodia, that's taken a stand in the former prison building, known as S-21, where all the people whose faces and stories adorn the walls were executed en masse simply because the Khmer Rouge wanted to revitalize a nation 30 years ago...
we dream of being able to go to this museum and spend several months photographing and scanning everything into an electronic vault where it should hopefully never be forgotten. we're also hoping for grant money to stabilize the museum itself and all its displays of lives lost. though the specifics are not yet managed, this is our hope, and maybe God will see fit to send us to a forgotten place to help people everywhere else remember them.

please pray for us, pray for an end to ignorance around the world and in your own homes and schools.

Asanteni sana, watu wangu!

Peace be with you.

unbreakable: three words brought to you by Bruce Willis

i recently watched the film 'Unbreakable' with my mom, sister, and brother, while dad was out of town. i'm talking about the one by M. Night Shyamalan starring Bruce Willis and Samuel L. Jackson.

i was thinking about how Bruce Willis' character, David Dunn, actually does something about the horrible crimes he learns of, and fights back to rescue people and to bring justice.

if we know that something is going wrong, and we know we can keep someone from getting hurt... why don't we?

i could have gone deeper and written more, but i think those three words are all that need saying:

if we can help people, save people, rescue people,

WHY
DON'T
WE?

How to NOT vote pro-life:::

i read this on my friend Kristy's sister-in-law's blog...

http://theheidaway.blogspot.com/2008/05/now-this-just-makes-me-angrydoes-it-not.html

i work at Target, pushing carts. i see a lot of bumper stickers in a given day.

i see this one a lot, surprisingly:

"i vote pro-life". an american flag waves in the background.

this sticker reeks of two things i hate.
1. nationalism (as a Christian recognizing a global family, christian and non-christian, this is elementarily disgusting and elitist as a concept--especially when it provokes war)
2. the term pro-life (which in-and-of-itself should be concerned with ALL HUMAN LIFE. not so, with the republican party, whom i would imagine they are meaning to show support for, by donning this sticker)

"pro-life" should mean what it says, but since there's not one political party (i can find) that dodges nationalism and a pro-death stance... i think it's BS to vote for any single party ALL the TIME!

don't tell me you vote pro-life. we can't vote pro-life. i can't vote pro-life, but i can try to influence senators and representatives and candidates for all positions of power to lean away from killing american babies too, since at least the democrats are less happy about killing Iraqi babies, so far.

i hate double standards.

get angry. tell somebody else. try to change things and REALLY work for a pro-life stance. right now, obviously not enough people are.

and yes, i have every intention of tagging every single person in my friends list. hopefully i'll get a reaction, sisters and brothers.

instead of "voting pro-life", elect to live pro-life!

PAX.

you provoke me

crawling in the mud, sticking to your fingers, caking your face. you belly down and ease so slowly, silently toward the goal.

the enemy standing at the gate. beyond it is all you ever cared about gaining.

behind you is all you ever cared about--lost.

at this pinnacle... this dare-devil collage of thoughts and racing hearts, your chest burns with everything you've ever felt.

swirling into one surge, one un-dying urge--a tornado of truth and heart.

you have nothing to hold you back any more. between the fences.

to attempt is to kill yourself. to forego, and remain, is suicide. if not worse.

when faced with the moment when the guard looks away, walks away, exists away from your goal--your promise--what not to do other than charge forth?

get up! go! race toward it with all your might!

even as the sights of so many guns bear down upon your bloody forelock, there is little left they can take.

when you can claim it all, just on the other side.

just outside the shiny barbed wire of Guantanamo, a boat is waiting to carry you away to your reality they tried to rob from you.

just JUMP!

God is jumping with you!

--

pax.

Food Not Bombs

i just called their number that i found listed in a couple places online, and i talked to a very friendly and easy-going Desiree, who's gotten hundreds of calls, probably, as so many people have been looking for FNB apparently.

she took my email and is going to pass along that and my number to people she's in contact with where she's at in Bloomington now.

apparently they're going to be camping out in northern indiana to block the building of a mexico-canada interstate, this May.

i don't know if i can join them, but i'd love to once i learn more about the situation.

basically, this is pretty cool, just thought i'd share it since i feel like i could really get involved in some stuff now!

PAX.

i have a dilemma...

...that makes me feel childish, yet i am nearly twenty.

it is possible that someone is reading this who knows very well the person to whom i am referring, when i state that i have likely royally screwed up a friendship with someone i never got the chance to get too close to, before i went and buggered it up with short-sighted remedies of simple anxiety. and now, i am afraid to lose her friendship because she seems really cool.

maybe i'll get another chance, but for the time being, pray as i might for things to return to normalcy, i have no idea how i must act to fix this for the long-term.

anyone who's known me more than a year can gather a fuller extent of info simply based on experience with me. yeah, it's probably what you're thinking. and yeah, i need help, and suggestions.

this'd be so much easier if i just knew more people here. then i'd have balanced everything out to begin with, but i didn't know hardly anyone else, so i messed up by focusing so intently on one friendship that i frankly blew a hole in whatever had been built up.

tonight i went out with some guys from church (all at least 3 or 4 years older than me, which made me feel special) to see Leatherheads, after watching some Rob Bell sermon stuff at bible study, and it was really helpful to get out again, with GUYS!!!! when the freak did THAT last happen?! it was cool.

balance is re-taking what it once held to its own, and hopefully with this balance, and with my striving to give her just the right amount of space, there will be healing, and i will rejoice in that. for now, though, i'm content to be working in the right direction, and asking God to help me get there.

pax, everyone.

off my chest

when something's bottled up for a while and doesn't go away, it's cool to get it off your chest, even if you risk pain or perpetuating confusion. at least you've said your piece. and now i have peace. and grace to continue.



thanks be to God, my beautiful, adoring Adonai. for you have blessed a humbled man.

From Journal & Courier: "Area groups plan peace rally"

Several Lafayette area groups are sponsoring events next Wednesday to mark the fifth anniversary of the Iraq War.

A peace rally is scheduled at 5:30 p.m. at the Tippecanoe County Courthouse.

A peace march will follow at 6 p.m. along State Street to the Purdue Mall.

A panel discussion titled "Why the Iraq War Must End" will be held at 7:30 p.m. in 218 Stewart Center.

The public is invited.

--Staff reports

[taken verbatim from Journal & Courier March 14, 2008, page C8]
[image from http://www.tippecanoecountycourthouse.com/chmaps.html ]

things have changed...

brothers and sisters... something has changed in the manner of my writing. at least the subject matter.

so the heavier subject matter, like that which i last posted. like that which is now deleted.

it's posted elsewhere under another name and the whole works. if you want to read any of my new posts on my new site, ask me individually. i'll give you the link. but please be careful. if you read my last post--that looked more like a newspaper article--then you might have a hint of the dangers involved with using real information on either side of the atlantic.

please understand if things here seem suddenly less suspenseful. hopefully my protective measures in switching over will be worth something and will help protect the authors here, and all who have commented. i'll definitely try to work on both sites, of course!

p.s. if you're willing to go slightly undercover, i'd be glad to work on this with a partner or two (or more). there are many many human rights stories to cover. the world is only so big.

PAX.