Adonai

I know... beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are leading me to Africa.

I trust you, i think i really do, but I don't know how to get there.

Help me. Guide me.

Everything hinges on you and me in Africa.

Everything.

Please, Adonai, get me there soon.

for my passport photos

(maybe this is a more trivial topic, but i wanted to keep you all updated, if anyone's still reading this right now...)



for my passport photos, i needed to have a visible hairline. i didn't have one until last night. now i do. i have a buzz cut. it is mid-February. my head is FREEZING!!!

but now i feel already like assimilating to African culture will be easier in some villages, simply by NOT having long hair. i'm still unfortunately, an obvious 'mzungu', and i cannot change that. but i will definitely try NOT to be an "ugly american." we have enough of those, already!

even so, i shall try to be one with Africa. I think i am a believer in the concept of Rastafari- that is, Africa is the well-spring of all humanity. i think i am. it's cool to think of it that way, and then understand that (regrettably) a whole bunch of my ancestors suddenly got unlucky enough to become "melonen-challenged", ergo.... i am "white". but i think i prefer the term "not dark enough to LOOK African, even though i really AM African". but that's really long. :)

this summer i hope i forget what life in america is like and become a completely fixated part of Africa. as i have said before, I am homesick, and i miss my brothers and sisters on that beautiful continent.

love and peace to all.

Our Vision: God's Heart

For you, Ash.

If we claim to be Christians, then we are inherent to God. We must have the same heart, passions, and interests as He does—we become an extension of God, Himself, whereas mankind should see Him in us. And therefore, we are missionaries.

What is 'missions'?

A common belief is that a missionary is similar to preacher, which is true for most parts. A missionary does as a preacher does by spreading the Word of God and by verbally expressing His Love, but a missionary is much more than that. A missionary is a servant to the community to which he/she inhabits. Remember: we can show God's Love more effectively by serving people than by simply telling them about it, and that is the quintessential 'mission'.

'Missions' is a choice to go wherever, to do and become whatever God wishes—whenever.

(This part's for you, Darling.)
If God calls you to do something, He will be with you always.

"...Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name;
you are mine.
I will be with you;
And when you pass through the rivers,
They will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
You will not be burned;
The flames will not set you ablaze.
For I am the Lord, your God,
The Holy One of Israel, your Savior..."
- Isaiah 43: 1-3

'Missions' is an adventure in the Hands of God, seeing that we place ourselves in His Hands.
We must catch God’s Heart for the people of the community—to soften and heal hardened, fractured hearts and to reveal the Hands of God and the Love of God.

my [controversial] stance on violence

it is strange & sad that in war, a Bullet is the only thing to connect two people in some situations. a Bullet is the most cowardly and uneducated, unprepared and uncreative way to hurt an opponent.

especially since that opponent has NOT--and will NOT--always be your opponent.

it is the cowardly way to prevent a potential friendship just because of momentary disagreement. non-passive, non-violent words and actions that do not take or end life are the best, indeed the ONLY way to really improve the world or even hope to truly win an argument.

people are always changing their minds, every day of every year. to choose to use a Bullet is to ASSUME that that person you are putting a Bullet into is NEVER going to agree with you, and you'll NEVER agree with them.

and we all know what happens when you assume...

"it's hot as hell"

i'm runnin the gauntlet
scrapin by in things i can't give myself to
i'm livin and i'm lovin.
i'm givin and i'm burnin
burnin up these walls
creepin round me
overcrowdin me
cuz i ain't fightin by you, brother
cuz i ain't protectin you, sister

in these pretty little picket-fences
i am surrounded by mixed-up concept
concepts so crude and cruel
are you even human?
can you breathe those words
and really be breathin?

i've been told to stay behind
to not go now or even ever care
how dare you!

i got my sisters, brothers, best friends and lover
i got my God, my Jesus, and my dream
i got a sickness you ain't tainted
i got freedom you ain't tasted.
c'mon and raise the ladel
i'll help you cradle
that sweet soul soup in your hand
let it pour down deep
let it bathe the land.

Dr. King, Mahatma Ghandi
President Mandela, and sister Zariatu
you're all i got to get me where i've always been
you're gonna save the world a thousand fold
but you ain't the first

i cannot
will not
refuse to wipe your tears
your fears from the face
the face of this bloody planet.

my homeland, as my sister says:
"it's a very colorful place, very colorful-
-and that color's red."*

Ecclesiastical
"Five for Fighting"
Epistle
"Three for Thriving"
Universal
"One for Winning"

this is my life.
don't take it.
please don't take it.

i'm gonna be in a parade-
a victory march-
before i pass and fade.
just one in the masses
made of former classes
who don't see black or white no mo.

so i ask fo mo.
mo hope
mo love
mo peace
mo life
just mo-
of what really matters.

written from the heart and unedited, unadulterated, uncensored. Feb. 5, 2007. you may put this anywhere else and call me "anonymous". i can roll with that. just don't prevent my words from bein read. (*credits for the quote holla back to my sister, Aisha)

love and peace or else, sisters and brothers.

namaste. pax. salaams. love.

the most informative hour of my life!

earlier today, right around 11.00, my friend Grace skipped class to join myself and her friend Matt (a co-chair of student gov't), on an excursion to Starbucks.

i had intended to have fair trade coffee, but they did not have any brewing at the moment. ergo i had a simple, bold, "komodo dragon" coffee. a tall decaf drink that by NO means seemed devoid of caffeine! :) it's finally wearing off!

i don't have time to focus on writing much here, but i have made some decisions based on all the philosophy and economic and "evil pharmaceuticals" stuff that we talked about.

1. i am going to look into a Rosetta Stone program for either some African language or French, i believe! intensive fluency is the goal!
2. i am going to invest in a strong and intense course for learning EMT training within five months, shortly after my return to the states. ergo i will likely be unable to hold a job, unless i work weekends only. the program i've heard of is 8-hour days & 5-day weeks!
3. i am going to seek out more information on WHO makes WHAT drugs. i need to know who goes where, does what... who's got western (especially US) moneys, and who i can ask for money from for the beginnings of a strong Non-Profit, as well as partnerships with other organizations.

finding news of Africa from within the African continent has been a huge task this morning! it was ALL i was doing (aside from cataloguing sources and blogs to read, and such) when Grace found me! ok, i lied, i had just began to listen to Rob Bell's sermon: "Calling All Peacemakers" Part 1, from early december. i downloaded them weeks ago and i'm finally getting into them. so far i am really enjoying it! i can't wait for the next 2 parts! I heard part 2 got a lot of flak. i think he spoke about the idiocy of the Iraq war. i have really liked Rob Bell to begin with, but he never fails me, it seems! he's also really big on saving the world thru love, prayer, and activism. hopefully i'll be able to guide my own relevant love based on revelations like his and that of others, as well as reading the Psalms and the gospels (over and over again!).

I am disturbed by the likelihood of humanity killing itself off thru diseases such as HIV/AIDS and Tuberculosis. I do not know much about Malaria, but i hope to learn something about it's effects... especially considering these are the three targets of the United Nations Global Fund!! Tuberculosis is ALREADY DRUG-RESISTANT!!!! it is incurable and TREATMENT is the only option. these drug-resistant strains exist in New York City and Russia already. TB may very well be the next great Plague.

until the next plague, we must learn to do things naturally and be careful with the drugs we manufacture and administer. approval of severely toxic and poisonous drugs is NOT PERMISSABLE!!!! it's simply not wise, and we MUST learn our way around these drugs. disease scares (such as SARS, Avian Flu, and West Nile Virus) are nothing but scams while we forget about the realistically globally-threatening diseases!

we have secured our own doom in our desire for immaculate cleanliness. we fight bacteria- ALL bacteria. ergo we kill the healthy bacteria that strengthens and maintains our immune systems. so we weaken ourselves and downwardly spiral into ABSOLUTE DEPENDENCY on man-made drugs full of life-limiting toxins.

i've got to look into AZT and Nevirapine. both are used to treat AIDS patients. apparently both are able to cause death.
the Treatment Information Group's leader (don't look to me for technical terminology and names and details here, just the gist of the story) has recently-3 weeks ago-accused the leader of the Treatment Action Campaign of GENOCIDE based on the fact that he has been responsible for the deaths of thousands of poor, black South Africans thru administering these two ARV's!

I e-mailed Treatment Action Campaign (TAC) in the fall with the intent of working with them this summer. yeah, this is hitting kinda close to home! what the devil is going on here?!

i've got a lot more to investigate.

love and peace or else, sisters and brothers!