Knut - this lovely, sweet, wonderful, cute little polar bear baby, who was born Dezember 5th 2006 in Berlin annoyed me sooo much..
Every Religion lesson we talked about this polar bear. My teacher was a real big fan of Knut. Our record of talking about Knut was 45 minutes. During that time our teacher told us how cute Knut was and how the Berlin Zoo managed to handle all the people who wanted to see Knut. Now no one talkes about Knut any more because he isn't that cute any longer. He's a huge polar bear now;Too big to be cute.
Marco W. - the 19 year old German who went on vacation to Antalya with this family and then spend about 8 months in prison because he had sex with a 17 year old Briton. Did he rape her or not? I can't really tell but he was on the news every week.
Madeleine - a four year old girl disappeared on May the 3rd in Portugal. Till today no one knows where she is.
Lea-Sophie - was one of six or even more babies who died in Germany this year.
A mother threw her baby out of the window, and many other babies died because of neglect.
Lea-Sophie died because she didn't get enough food.
2007 so many babies and children died because their parents didn't take enough care, were brutal or didn't want to have their own babies any longer.
Blacksburg - you might even know more about the crazed action of the 23 year old guy who killed 32 humans than me.
I don't really know what to write about Blacksburg because it's too horrible to write about it. But I know that heros were made that day. The most famouse one was Christopher Jamie Bishop. He died because he saved his students.
Every year so many crazed action happen and not only in the USA. Even here at my own school strange things happen.
I was shocked when I heared about Blacksburg because a few months earlier a self-made bomb was build and planted at my school. No one was hurt at our school but there's still this hole in the asphalt and since that time the police drives around our school more often.
Benazir Bhutto - was killed because of a suicide.
She was first woman elected to lead a Muslim state, Pakistan.
So many cruel things happend 2007; too many!
For me personal the last year was pretty split into good and bad times.
Some of my family members died and two guys I knew died in a car crash.
So people disapeared in my life but there were also some who appeared.
I got to know some people of my grade, we hang out together and now we're really good friends. We spend a lot of time together. I attend service at their church and they are really awesome friends.
I'm so glad they entered my life.
Now 2007 is almost over and I'm some kind of sad about it. 2007 was an emotional year and 2008 will be the year of changes for me.
I'll finish school, leave home, go to college and I'll have some cuts in my life.
My life will change a lot.
I wish you all a blessed and happy 2008 and a wonderful New Year's Eve!
-Krissi
P.S. When I finished this blog entry I realized that I wrote about more horrible things than wonderful things of 2007.
It's always like this. You don't remember the good things but the bad ones.
But surely there were some more wonderful events in 2007.
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Thursday, December 27, 2007
termination of pregnancy
I need to do a presentation in Religion about Amnesty International. Today I did a lot of research about it, I looked so many things up on the internet. Now I know a lot about ai. I know about the structure of the organisation, I know how it was founded, I know what its aims are...
I think I’m well prepared for my presentation.
When I had a look at a homepage on which ai was described I saw a picture of the Pope on its bottom. So I read through the article and I found out that the Vatikan asks Catholics to think twice about joining ai because of ai’s attitude towards termination of pregnancy.
I did some research about it on the internet...
and I found out that
Amnesty International isn’t for termination of pregnancy in general.
ai is for termination of pregnancy if the woman is a victim of rape, has committed incest or if there are any health risks for the mother.
It’s weird for me to imagine that anyone can’t understand their opinion and their reasons for decriminalizing termination of pregnancy in these cases.
How can a woman live with a child in whose eyes she sees the pain of herself being raped?
How can a woman live with a child who is handicapped and she knows that she’s responsible for this handicap?
Who’s life is more important? The life of the mother or the life of an unborn child of whom we don’t even know if he/she’ll survive without his mother?
But when does life start? When is an embryo a human? We can’t tell...
Are we killing a human life when we kill the embryo or is the embryo still a little something without any feelings?
Termination of pregnancy is one of the subjects for me of which I don’t really have a clear opinion and I can’t have one because my opinion refers to the case.
In some cases I would never procure abortion but if I really have to think about it because my unborn child has a disease which will bring the child to horrible pain, I don’t know how I’ll decide.
And I hope that I’ll never have to make such a decision in my whole life.
God bless you
-Krissi
Monday, December 24, 2007
MERRY CHRISTMAS
I wish you all a Merry Christmas!
I hope you have a wonderful Christmas and a happy holiday.
I hope you'll enjoy today's special day of love.
I hope you know what a huge gift has been given to us about 2000 years ago. And the most amazing thing is that this gift still lasts. It's not that you use that gift a few weeks and then it breaks or it becomes useless, no, it will always be useful and it will never break.
The gift I'm talking about is Jesus. He is the hugest present I ever received. God gave him to me and to all others who want to receive this gift.
Today we celebrate the the birth of Christ and the reason why so many people believe in this awesome God; LOVE!
God gave his own son to save us humans and the reason why he did this is the love he has for us humans.
MERRY CHRISTMAS
God bless You
-Krissi
I hope you have a wonderful Christmas and a happy holiday.
I hope you'll enjoy today's special day of love.
I hope you know what a huge gift has been given to us about 2000 years ago. And the most amazing thing is that this gift still lasts. It's not that you use that gift a few weeks and then it breaks or it becomes useless, no, it will always be useful and it will never break.
The gift I'm talking about is Jesus. He is the hugest present I ever received. God gave him to me and to all others who want to receive this gift.
Today we celebrate the the birth of Christ and the reason why so many people believe in this awesome God; LOVE!
God gave his own son to save us humans and the reason why he did this is the love he has for us humans.
MERRY CHRISTMAS
God bless You
-Krissi
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
being lonely...
can be something wonderful when you want to be lonely.
Today I wanted to be on my own. I didn't want anyone around me. I just wanted to thing about some stuff, get rid of some stuff which was on my mind and I need time to talk to God in silent.
So I went out to my favorite place. It's about 1 mile away from home.
I walked there with my mp3-player. I listened to some music and when I finally arrived there I sat down on that bench next to the statue made out of stone. This statue means something special to me. It was placed at that beautiful place the year I started to believe and gave my life in God's hands.
The statue shows a father and in his arms is a crying child.
At the bottom of the statue is 'Deine Güte reicht soweit der Himmel ist' (Your kindness is as far as heaven stretches) written. And yes, this verse of the bible is exactly what the place is about. When you look to your right, there's a small forest and in summer you sit on that bench right next to the birds in the trees and over your head is this huge tree with all its leaves.
To your left, there are fields and when you look straight ahead you can see the Swabian Albs, these mountains seem to be so near by but even so far away. Yes, God's kindness is as far as heaven stretches.
And every time I'm right there at that lovely place, at my place I feel lonely but I love it.
I feel free their, I feel like I can do everything I want to. I just feel good.
I wish you to have such a place as well
God bless you
-Krissi
Today I wanted to be on my own. I didn't want anyone around me. I just wanted to thing about some stuff, get rid of some stuff which was on my mind and I need time to talk to God in silent.
So I went out to my favorite place. It's about 1 mile away from home.
I walked there with my mp3-player. I listened to some music and when I finally arrived there I sat down on that bench next to the statue made out of stone. This statue means something special to me. It was placed at that beautiful place the year I started to believe and gave my life in God's hands.
The statue shows a father and in his arms is a crying child.
At the bottom of the statue is 'Deine Güte reicht soweit der Himmel ist' (Your kindness is as far as heaven stretches) written. And yes, this verse of the bible is exactly what the place is about. When you look to your right, there's a small forest and in summer you sit on that bench right next to the birds in the trees and over your head is this huge tree with all its leaves.
To your left, there are fields and when you look straight ahead you can see the Swabian Albs, these mountains seem to be so near by but even so far away. Yes, God's kindness is as far as heaven stretches.
And every time I'm right there at that lovely place, at my place I feel lonely but I love it.
I feel free their, I feel like I can do everything I want to. I just feel good.
I wish you to have such a place as well
God bless you
-Krissi
Monday, December 17, 2007
evolution theory - God's creation
I never really believed in Evolution theories; not the one of
I also didn’t really believe the bible when it comes to the point how the earth was created.
God’s creation in the bible is written down like a song. There are the strophes in which God’s doing is described and then there’s the refrain with the words ‘And God saw that it was good.’
It was just a song for me; Nothing more.
But about one week ago I talked to someone about Evolution and about God’s creation.
He told me about Dr. Kent Hovind and his theory.
Dr. Kent Hovind says that the bible says the truth and that God made the earth and that the earth isn’t as old as the evolution theories say (young earth creationism).
And the weird thing is, the more I do research about him and his theory the clearer it becomes to me and I can believe it.
He also says that humans lived together with dinosaurs.
I ask you, is the picture a proof for this theory?
I would say, yes. How can a footprint of a dinosaur and of a human be together in one layer of rock if they didn’t live together at the same time.
But all the Evolution theories and also the theory of Dr. Kent Hovind are just theories! No one has a real proof for his theory because no one was there, when the earth began to be earth.
But I think everyone has to find the theory he/she can believe in.
God will help you to find the right one.God bless you
-Krissi
Sunday, December 16, 2007
things which make you feel good
This morning at church, our kids of the childrens' service had their nativity scene. It was so awesome to see all the children. It was so cute to see how dithered they were and I really enjoyed it. These cute little girls with their long blond hair dressed up as angles, the proud boys as shepherds... it made me feel good because I reconized that all the time I've spend with them within the last few weeks and all the practice for the nativity scene weren't for nothing.
This morning showed me once more that life is too short to worry too much
The following 50 things can make you feel good:
1. Falling in love.
2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
3. A hot shower.
4. No lines at the supermarket.
5. A special glance.
6. Getting mail.
7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
11. Chocolate milkshake (vanilla).
12. A bubble bath.
13. Giggling.
14. A good conversation.
15 The beach
16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.
17. Laughing at yourself.
18. Looking into their eyes and knowing they Love you
19. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
20. Running through sprinklers.
21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
22. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
23. Laughing at an inside joke with FRIENDS
25. Hearing someone say something nice about you.
26. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
27. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).
28. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
29. Playing with a new puppy.
30. Having someone play with your hair.
31. Sweet dreams.
32. Hot chocolate.
33. Road trips with friends.
34. Swinging on swings.
35. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
36. Making chocolate chip cookies.
37. Having your friends send you homemade cookies.
38. Holding hands with someone you care about.
39. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or
bad) never change.
40. Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a much
desired present from you.
41. Watching the sunrise.
42. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another
beautiful day.
43. Knowing that somebody misses you.
44. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.
45. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people
think.
46. Watching the birds in the trees.
47. Taking care of others.
48. Taking a walk and enjoying the sun shining on your face.
49. Having dinner with your family.
50. Spending time with people who care about you and of whom you care.
So open your eyes and be happy about the small things in your life.
I wish you a nice last week before Christmas
enjoy the time and hopefully you won't be in too much hurry for buying the last Christmas presents and doing all the stuff which has to be done before Christmas
God bless you
-Krissi
This morning showed me once more that life is too short to worry too much
The following 50 things can make you feel good:
1. Falling in love.
2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
3. A hot shower.
4. No lines at the supermarket.
5. A special glance.
6. Getting mail.
7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
11. Chocolate milkshake (vanilla).
12. A bubble bath.
13. Giggling.
14. A good conversation.
15 The beach
16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.
17. Laughing at yourself.
18. Looking into their eyes and knowing they Love you
19. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
20. Running through sprinklers.
21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
22. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
23. Laughing at an inside joke with FRIENDS
25. Hearing someone say something nice about you.
26. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
27. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).
28. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
29. Playing with a new puppy.
30. Having someone play with your hair.
31. Sweet dreams.
32. Hot chocolate.
33. Road trips with friends.
34. Swinging on swings.
35. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
36. Making chocolate chip cookies.
37. Having your friends send you homemade cookies.
38. Holding hands with someone you care about.
39. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or
bad) never change.
40. Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a much
desired present from you.
41. Watching the sunrise.
42. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another
beautiful day.
43. Knowing that somebody misses you.
44. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.
45. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people
think.
46. Watching the birds in the trees.
47. Taking care of others.
48. Taking a walk and enjoying the sun shining on your face.
49. Having dinner with your family.
50. Spending time with people who care about you and of whom you care.
So open your eyes and be happy about the small things in your life.
I wish you a nice last week before Christmas
enjoy the time and hopefully you won't be in too much hurry for buying the last Christmas presents and doing all the stuff which has to be done before Christmas
God bless you
-Krissi
Friday, December 14, 2007
the first blog entry of Krissi
Hey!
Archer asked me to write some blog entries during the time he’s on his outreach and Punjabican is on her winter break from school.
It’s some kind of weird for me to blog here because this blog has always been Archer’s for me.
He has always been the one who blogged most of the time and I don’t really know what to write about, especially because I need to write in English and it’s hard for me to find the right English words to say what I mean.
So I just want to introduce myself to the ones who read this blog:
I’m Krissi, I’m from
I’m a Christian who has many questions about God, the bible, the right belief and how I can live my life the way God wants me to live it.
I believe in God.
I believe in Jesus.
I believe in the Holy Spirit.
I believe in the opportunity of everyone to change something in this cruel world even if it’s only a small change.
I believe that one day I’ll know what my function in this world is.
I just believe in so many other things I can’t list here because it would take me hours to write them all down.
I believe and that’s good.
I know so many people who studied Theology and who deal with the bible in a critical way. I got to know this way of dealing with the bible and I still practice it.
But is a critical way of reading the Bible the right way?
One of my friends asked me how I can believe in God when I ask for logical answers to every question.
I can’t tell. It’s my social environment which influences me a lot and which brings me to ask all these questions.
But he told me that it should not be people around me who influence me. It should be God.
And yes, he’s right. God made me to what I am and I’m very thankful for his love and his patience which he always has for me.
But the people around me and their believes influence me as well.
So now you know the thing I’m most struggling with; my belief even if I believe.
And I believe that there are many grammar and spelling mistakes in this blog entry. I’m sorry for them but I tried to do my best.
God bless you,
lots of greetings from
-Krissi
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
welcome Krissi!
Krissi is now officially the fourth member of the team (the third of the active roster, and the fifth to join the journal)!
please be as kind to her and her views as you have been to myself and mine!
she is not going to be an exact carbon copy of my theology and idealogy, so please don't expect it. in fact i've already told her that i want her to post anything she can think of on here that we disagree about already. there's not much, but she's definitely got a right to post her own stance and opinion.
God be with you all!
see you next year!
PAX
-archer
please be as kind to her and her views as you have been to myself and mine!
she is not going to be an exact carbon copy of my theology and idealogy, so please don't expect it. in fact i've already told her that i want her to post anything she can think of on here that we disagree about already. there's not much, but she's definitely got a right to post her own stance and opinion.
God be with you all!
see you next year!
PAX
-archer
into able hands, and a very able heart
as early as Friday, December 14, 2007 i and my partner, Punjabican, will both be unable to contribute here until next year.
it is hard to have to shelve this for now, but when i return from outreach (in Mwanza, TZ) on January 10, 2008, i should have some great stories and observations and other thoughts to post on here. she will be going on winter break from school, as of this friday, and i don't remember exactly when she'll be able to start writing again.
we apologize for the boredom that may ensue whenever you check into this site. God knows i will be bored without this so familiar arm of expression.
but we also trust that we will by no means suffer any loss of creativity and imagination and material to put up on here!
in other news, though slightly related, we're capping off our first calendar year with this blog, with our first anniversary actually coming next month, on January 12. when we began we had four writers. three are still on board, but only two of us remain active. on our first day both Punjabican and i posted about the beginnings of everything we were striving four.
i said, on January 28, "i am going to experience the hardest months of my life to date, this year." the entry was entitled "i never knew i could be so tired"
that holds perfectly true, even though i had yet no real idea of what it was really going to look like.
it's interesting to look back and see that despite our early idealism, we've all stuck to our guns. even the two writers who don't write anymore have remained true to their hearts, and to mine, as my friends, and i know all four of us did something right by starting this journal.
it will be sad to go for so long, writing nothing. if i get a chance to, i have one other friend, deeply involved with all that Punjabican and i are striving toward, and also a great writer--i would like to invite her to join us as well! and perhaps, Punjabican and i will leave this journal in her able hands and very able heart.
thanks to everyone on the team who has made this such a great year! my love and prayers are with you all!
Merry Christmas!
Happy New Year!
May God's constant presence be a blessing and a joy to you as seasons shift.
PAX.
Namaste.
Salaams.
Peace.
-Archer & Punjabican
it is hard to have to shelve this for now, but when i return from outreach (in Mwanza, TZ) on January 10, 2008, i should have some great stories and observations and other thoughts to post on here. she will be going on winter break from school, as of this friday, and i don't remember exactly when she'll be able to start writing again.
we apologize for the boredom that may ensue whenever you check into this site. God knows i will be bored without this so familiar arm of expression.
but we also trust that we will by no means suffer any loss of creativity and imagination and material to put up on here!
in other news, though slightly related, we're capping off our first calendar year with this blog, with our first anniversary actually coming next month, on January 12. when we began we had four writers. three are still on board, but only two of us remain active. on our first day both Punjabican and i posted about the beginnings of everything we were striving four.
i said, on January 28, "i am going to experience the hardest months of my life to date, this year." the entry was entitled "i never knew i could be so tired"
that holds perfectly true, even though i had yet no real idea of what it was really going to look like.
it's interesting to look back and see that despite our early idealism, we've all stuck to our guns. even the two writers who don't write anymore have remained true to their hearts, and to mine, as my friends, and i know all four of us did something right by starting this journal.
it will be sad to go for so long, writing nothing. if i get a chance to, i have one other friend, deeply involved with all that Punjabican and i are striving toward, and also a great writer--i would like to invite her to join us as well! and perhaps, Punjabican and i will leave this journal in her able hands and very able heart.
thanks to everyone on the team who has made this such a great year! my love and prayers are with you all!
Merry Christmas!
Happy New Year!
May God's constant presence be a blessing and a joy to you as seasons shift.
PAX.
Namaste.
Salaams.
Peace.
-Archer & Punjabican
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
heat
the heat is on.
i feel idle once again.
i feel a waste of energy and knowledge.
i need to be out there.
gotta go fight.
the heat is on.
i picked up 'Not On Our Watch' again, after over a month. just in the mood for something political and activism-related. and now i feel more lost than ever.
missions is important, and not more or less important than justice, i believe. frankly, i think Jesus seemed to emphasize how we are to live more than what we are living for in the end. i could be wrong. but that's just the impression i get.
i feel idle once again.
i'm in Africa, but there's so little i can do. i can't give money since i'm so low on it myself. i can't write letters since letters across Africa rarely seem to make it where they're going (sent one to Dodoma, TZ, from here, and one to Capetown--two months ago. no reply.)
i miss lobbying with my colleague Bethany P. she and i were a good team. we hit two congresspersons from Ohio in one week, while thousands of other Amnesty activists were doing the same nation-wide. and that was back in March. i can't do anything like that here. in Darfur, people are still targets.
i feel a waste of energy and knowledge.
i learned a lot about Darfur and other issues like it, while working with Bethany in the spring. i've learned a lot while reading this book. i've learned a lot from peers and fellow passionate people.
i'm nearly consumed by the energy for this task. i'm at the point where i'm willing to pull out anything i can from companies my Roth IRA is invested in, if they're in any way connected to Sudan. i'll march straight up Capital Hill chanting if you give me a chance.
i need to be out there.
sitting here, with all this energy cooped up inside me, feeling so useless and yet so potent, i can think of only two solutions: either go to Khartoum personally, or likewise to D.C.
i need to be among the ranks of the marchers, the lobbyists, the mega-phone shouters and screamers, the political writers and journalists, the eager students and sacrificial soldiers. but i'm here, with an ever watchful eye for just such an opportunity.
gotta go fight.
standing at the edge of the cliff, what else is there to do. i've been backed into the corner by the indifference and ignorance around me. the people with the blank faces don't realize where i am, how close i am to the edge.
but now i've gotta take a stand, raise the banner, draw attention, raise awareness. shake things up. fight. things get dirty when people raise havoc. quiet is more destructive than loud protest. i gotta go join the fight.
Get into gear and make some noise.
-Archer
i feel idle once again.
i feel a waste of energy and knowledge.
i need to be out there.
gotta go fight.
the heat is on.
i picked up 'Not On Our Watch' again, after over a month. just in the mood for something political and activism-related. and now i feel more lost than ever.
missions is important, and not more or less important than justice, i believe. frankly, i think Jesus seemed to emphasize how we are to live more than what we are living for in the end. i could be wrong. but that's just the impression i get.
i feel idle once again.
i'm in Africa, but there's so little i can do. i can't give money since i'm so low on it myself. i can't write letters since letters across Africa rarely seem to make it where they're going (sent one to Dodoma, TZ, from here, and one to Capetown--two months ago. no reply.)
i miss lobbying with my colleague Bethany P. she and i were a good team. we hit two congresspersons from Ohio in one week, while thousands of other Amnesty activists were doing the same nation-wide. and that was back in March. i can't do anything like that here. in Darfur, people are still targets.
i feel a waste of energy and knowledge.
i learned a lot about Darfur and other issues like it, while working with Bethany in the spring. i've learned a lot while reading this book. i've learned a lot from peers and fellow passionate people.
i'm nearly consumed by the energy for this task. i'm at the point where i'm willing to pull out anything i can from companies my Roth IRA is invested in, if they're in any way connected to Sudan. i'll march straight up Capital Hill chanting if you give me a chance.
i need to be out there.
sitting here, with all this energy cooped up inside me, feeling so useless and yet so potent, i can think of only two solutions: either go to Khartoum personally, or likewise to D.C.
i need to be among the ranks of the marchers, the lobbyists, the mega-phone shouters and screamers, the political writers and journalists, the eager students and sacrificial soldiers. but i'm here, with an ever watchful eye for just such an opportunity.
gotta go fight.
standing at the edge of the cliff, what else is there to do. i've been backed into the corner by the indifference and ignorance around me. the people with the blank faces don't realize where i am, how close i am to the edge.
but now i've gotta take a stand, raise the banner, draw attention, raise awareness. shake things up. fight. things get dirty when people raise havoc. quiet is more destructive than loud protest. i gotta go join the fight.
Get into gear and make some noise.
-Archer
Sunday, December 9, 2007
-a really controversial political/ecclesiastical blog on Hillary Clinton-
Hitler.
Stalin.
Mao.
Communist China.
Soviet USSR.
NAZI Germany.
Sharia Saudi Arabia.
Disappearances.
Firing Squads.
Hangings.
Arrests.
Public Executions.
...or simply slander.
all these people, places, and things are closely correlated, in collected memory and common knowledge, with the reality of vast persecution. the very last (and seemingly least) on this list, is rarely measured as the same caliber.
but maybe that's all the persecution Jesus and his roving bands will get if Hillary is elected next year.
the Church is (or was) strong under all the regimes listed, in their respective locations. what if the Church would grow if it realized that Christendom didn't have a monopoly on the grand establishment of 'American Government'? ("Hail the con-qu'ring HE-ROOOO!!!" *trumpet blast*)
i wanted to vote for Barack Obama.
(even though he spoke of invading Pakistan)
i wanted to vote for Sam Brownback.
(even though he seems to have a beef against gay people)
i wanted to vote for Ron Paul.
(even though he seems to have no mercy on illegal immigrants)
i wanted to vote for Morgan Freeman.
(even though a great African American like him only stands a chance in 'Deep Impact')
i even wanted to vote for Jesus Christ.
(but Mom told me that would probably be a waste unless His second coming is inauguration day, 2009)
but, no... out of nowhere, while pondering the increasingly over-Christianite right-wing political climate of the U.S. ... God throws me a curveball, and puts a brand new name into this young voter's head.
yeah... hers.
Hillary Clinton.
i'm so confused. but i think maybe she'll have my vote.
i want to clarify this... somehow.
growing up, i was raised in a relatively conservative Christian home. i've had really close friends raised in very strict homes of the like. many of those friends have turned their backs on their old "faith" since it was more of a force-fed, indoctrinated religion. i stated once in a youth group setting, a few years back, that my biggest feared is an entirely Christian-run world. frankly, as i begin to understand american politics, that holds true more fervently than ever. i don't want to live in a Christian nation, just as i don't want to live in an atheist nation (like the former government in Albania), or under Sharia (Qur'an) Law, like Saudi Arabia and Afghanistan, and the northern half of Nigeria.
i can't see any of those places truly benefiting the heart the citizens have for their God (or lack there-of).
Jesus did not overthrow Roman occupation in Israel. Rather, Jesus did attack Pharisee religious leaders on nearly a daily basis.
Jesus attacked religious rulership because it left the Pharisees devoid of love for their beautiful Adonai!
i have a friend attending classes at Liberty University in Lynchburg, Virginia. she's recently written that she misses God. the late Jerry Falwell has set up his school in so distinctly a Christian frame that men and women stay on opposite ends of campus, and on only one day a year is any member of the opposite sex (aside from immediate family, hopefully) allowed into your dorm room, as a sort of 'Open House'. God is everywhere on that campus, and seemingly nowhere in the hearts of some of its students.
my friend misses God, on a Christian college campus in the Bible Belt of the USofA!
people say they’ll leave the country if Hillary’s elected. who knows, maybe she’ll deport half of us anyway... i know so little of her politics--except that she’s a caricature of the devil to so many right-wing Christians.
i think i’d rather leave a country under the rulership of Pharisees than abandon the strong and the few faithful, under Nero.
“So Christ has truly set us free. Now make sure that you stay free, and don’t get tied up again in slavery to the law.” -Paul’s letter to the members of the Church in Galatia, chapter 5: verse 1
if we are free to choose, will we not choose the Truth?
PAX (ROMANA)
Stalin.
Mao.
Communist China.
Soviet USSR.
NAZI Germany.
Sharia Saudi Arabia.
Disappearances.
Firing Squads.
Hangings.
Arrests.
Public Executions.
...or simply slander.
all these people, places, and things are closely correlated, in collected memory and common knowledge, with the reality of vast persecution. the very last (and seemingly least) on this list, is rarely measured as the same caliber.
but maybe that's all the persecution Jesus and his roving bands will get if Hillary is elected next year.
the Church is (or was) strong under all the regimes listed, in their respective locations. what if the Church would grow if it realized that Christendom didn't have a monopoly on the grand establishment of 'American Government'? ("Hail the con-qu'ring HE-ROOOO!!!" *trumpet blast*)
i wanted to vote for Barack Obama.
(even though he spoke of invading Pakistan)
i wanted to vote for Sam Brownback.
(even though he seems to have a beef against gay people)
i wanted to vote for Ron Paul.
(even though he seems to have no mercy on illegal immigrants)
i wanted to vote for Morgan Freeman.
(even though a great African American like him only stands a chance in 'Deep Impact')
i even wanted to vote for Jesus Christ.
(but Mom told me that would probably be a waste unless His second coming is inauguration day, 2009)
but, no... out of nowhere, while pondering the increasingly over-Christianite right-wing political climate of the U.S. ... God throws me a curveball, and puts a brand new name into this young voter's head.
yeah... hers.
Hillary Clinton.
i'm so confused. but i think maybe she'll have my vote.
i want to clarify this... somehow.
growing up, i was raised in a relatively conservative Christian home. i've had really close friends raised in very strict homes of the like. many of those friends have turned their backs on their old "faith" since it was more of a force-fed, indoctrinated religion. i stated once in a youth group setting, a few years back, that my biggest feared is an entirely Christian-run world. frankly, as i begin to understand american politics, that holds true more fervently than ever. i don't want to live in a Christian nation, just as i don't want to live in an atheist nation (like the former government in Albania), or under Sharia (Qur'an) Law, like Saudi Arabia and Afghanistan, and the northern half of Nigeria.
i can't see any of those places truly benefiting the heart the citizens have for their God (or lack there-of).
Jesus did not overthrow Roman occupation in Israel. Rather, Jesus did attack Pharisee religious leaders on nearly a daily basis.
Jesus attacked religious rulership because it left the Pharisees devoid of love for their beautiful Adonai!
i have a friend attending classes at Liberty University in Lynchburg, Virginia. she's recently written that she misses God. the late Jerry Falwell has set up his school in so distinctly a Christian frame that men and women stay on opposite ends of campus, and on only one day a year is any member of the opposite sex (aside from immediate family, hopefully) allowed into your dorm room, as a sort of 'Open House'. God is everywhere on that campus, and seemingly nowhere in the hearts of some of its students.
my friend misses God, on a Christian college campus in the Bible Belt of the USofA!
people say they’ll leave the country if Hillary’s elected. who knows, maybe she’ll deport half of us anyway... i know so little of her politics--except that she’s a caricature of the devil to so many right-wing Christians.
i think i’d rather leave a country under the rulership of Pharisees than abandon the strong and the few faithful, under Nero.
“So Christ has truly set us free. Now make sure that you stay free, and don’t get tied up again in slavery to the law.” -Paul’s letter to the members of the Church in Galatia, chapter 5: verse 1
if we are free to choose, will we not choose the Truth?
PAX (ROMANA)
Saturday, December 8, 2007
an amendment to my reading list
not a fan of serial killer novels. thought i could go with 'The Poet', mentioned a few posts ago, but no-siree-bob! it wasn't exactly of the calibre of "film noir" which is what i'd hoped for. with was worse than Law & Order SVU.
not my thing. especially since lately it's just been the last book i've been in the mood to pick up. i pulled it out of my satchel (which is with me no matter where i am, no matter what room on the base i'm occupying!)--an incredibly huge step since i over-pack to compensate for any kind of mood i might be in for various reading material. frankly pulling it out was a huge vote of no confidence!
it just isn't edifying. i think i'm finally beginning to face things the way my dad does. he's got a knack for removing books and movies that won't do his psyche (or more importantly, his relationship with Jesus) any good, and he sacks 'em, reads or watches something better, and never misses a beat in life.
i think i'm finally growing up and getting to that point in my walk with the Son of God. i just don't want filler crap any more.
feels good to put this novel behind me for good!
PAX.
not my thing. especially since lately it's just been the last book i've been in the mood to pick up. i pulled it out of my satchel (which is with me no matter where i am, no matter what room on the base i'm occupying!)--an incredibly huge step since i over-pack to compensate for any kind of mood i might be in for various reading material. frankly pulling it out was a huge vote of no confidence!
it just isn't edifying. i think i'm finally beginning to face things the way my dad does. he's got a knack for removing books and movies that won't do his psyche (or more importantly, his relationship with Jesus) any good, and he sacks 'em, reads or watches something better, and never misses a beat in life.
i think i'm finally growing up and getting to that point in my walk with the Son of God. i just don't want filler crap any more.
feels good to put this novel behind me for good!
PAX.
Rose with Dirty Feet
i scrambled frantically around while the rest of my class was still singing worship songs in the classroom, across the courtyard. i collected a large plastic basin from the showers in the guy's restroom, my own bath towel, and an 8-inch ceramic bowl from the kitchen, filling it carefully with the cleanest water i could, since the base has been running on muddy water for the past 48 hours.
the words of John's gospel (chapter 13:1-17) pulsing through my heart as i try to make sense of what just entered my mind while looking across the classroom, singing Swahili spirituals, my eyes locked on a woman named Rose. she'll be leaving our DTS early because she's pregnant and probably about to pop. she won't be doing the outreach, but she'll be able to re-attend just that phase of any of the upcoming DTSes next year.
our leader explained Rose's farewell story to us after we finished eating, and our speaker for the week prayed over her, preparing her for the journey ahead, along the road home, across the breadth of Tanzania.
as the singing began, Jesus' action and words in John's gospel stabbed into me from no place i can imagine. origin-less, these thoughts led me to take another drag on my coke bottle, setting it down on the table in front of me again, and then exitting the chorus.
coming back across the courtyard now, mission accomplished, i was steadily carrying a basin, cradling a bowl and my big brown towel, praying in the dark of night that i wasn't spilling anything. i didn't understand where this had come from.
Jesus, i haven't done this in years. is this really your idea? am i gonna look really vain? i feel like an attention grabber.
10 minutes later, i was on my knees in a room only occupied by myself and three others, dipping my clumsy, lanky white hands into the bowl, and carrying water carefully over to Rose's feet waiting in the basin.
"Maji baridi?"
"Ndiyo."
She hisses. i've just told her that yes, the water will be cold.
"Pole." (Sorry.)
at first the water invokes a recoil on her part, but soon, as Paul reads the story in John 13, from his Swahili Bible, seated next to her, i am lost in the one i am imitating.
first the right foot, then she withdraws it, dried to the touch, and offers her left foot, just as thickened, toughened, and scarred as the first. her brown skin is difficult to gauge concerning it's cleanliness, but i'm thorough anyway. and then finishing up, i wipe it dry with my towel, draped in a bundle over my right shoulder.
she blesses me quietly ("Mungu aku bariki.") as i look up at her when i finish, pulling away the basin and bowl, drying up the floor where Jesus had humbled me. Paul finishes reading, closing the bible, unable to meet my eyes, because his are watering up. not because of what i've done, i'm sure, but because Rose is one of his best friends here, and she's leaving too soon. i hug them both, resting my head on both shoulders in turn, and then just as quietly as i'd begun, i'm done, and take my leave.
suddenly all i want is to be alone with Jesus.
suddenly all i can think about is Jesus, the Son of Man whom i've just imitated and obeyed.
and suddenly i get why i did it.
it had nothing to do with Rose, really. she may or may not remember the mzungu who washed her feet, several months from now, while caring for her sixth child in its infant stages. but i'll remember how captive i suddenly was to Jesus.
and he'll remember what it was like to have, on this rare occassion, my full attention.
PAX.
the words of John's gospel (chapter 13:1-17) pulsing through my heart as i try to make sense of what just entered my mind while looking across the classroom, singing Swahili spirituals, my eyes locked on a woman named Rose. she'll be leaving our DTS early because she's pregnant and probably about to pop. she won't be doing the outreach, but she'll be able to re-attend just that phase of any of the upcoming DTSes next year.
our leader explained Rose's farewell story to us after we finished eating, and our speaker for the week prayed over her, preparing her for the journey ahead, along the road home, across the breadth of Tanzania.
as the singing began, Jesus' action and words in John's gospel stabbed into me from no place i can imagine. origin-less, these thoughts led me to take another drag on my coke bottle, setting it down on the table in front of me again, and then exitting the chorus.
coming back across the courtyard now, mission accomplished, i was steadily carrying a basin, cradling a bowl and my big brown towel, praying in the dark of night that i wasn't spilling anything. i didn't understand where this had come from.
Jesus, i haven't done this in years. is this really your idea? am i gonna look really vain? i feel like an attention grabber.
10 minutes later, i was on my knees in a room only occupied by myself and three others, dipping my clumsy, lanky white hands into the bowl, and carrying water carefully over to Rose's feet waiting in the basin.
"Maji baridi?"
"Ndiyo."
She hisses. i've just told her that yes, the water will be cold.
"Pole." (Sorry.)
at first the water invokes a recoil on her part, but soon, as Paul reads the story in John 13, from his Swahili Bible, seated next to her, i am lost in the one i am imitating.
first the right foot, then she withdraws it, dried to the touch, and offers her left foot, just as thickened, toughened, and scarred as the first. her brown skin is difficult to gauge concerning it's cleanliness, but i'm thorough anyway. and then finishing up, i wipe it dry with my towel, draped in a bundle over my right shoulder.
she blesses me quietly ("Mungu aku bariki.") as i look up at her when i finish, pulling away the basin and bowl, drying up the floor where Jesus had humbled me. Paul finishes reading, closing the bible, unable to meet my eyes, because his are watering up. not because of what i've done, i'm sure, but because Rose is one of his best friends here, and she's leaving too soon. i hug them both, resting my head on both shoulders in turn, and then just as quietly as i'd begun, i'm done, and take my leave.
suddenly all i want is to be alone with Jesus.
suddenly all i can think about is Jesus, the Son of Man whom i've just imitated and obeyed.
and suddenly i get why i did it.
it had nothing to do with Rose, really. she may or may not remember the mzungu who washed her feet, several months from now, while caring for her sixth child in its infant stages. but i'll remember how captive i suddenly was to Jesus.
and he'll remember what it was like to have, on this rare occassion, my full attention.
PAX.
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
doing singleness the wrong way...
flipping shut the novel i checked out of the library here on the base a few days ago, a murder mystery called 'The Poet', i'm nearly to page 100 of the paperback, and the action's starting to kick into high gear, as the protagonist, Jack McEvoy--a homicide reporter at a Denver newspaper--stumbles onto a theory that link's his cop brother's recent suicide with another cop suicide 2000 miles away in Chicago, making it look like a serial killer. he sets his sights on Chicago, D.C., and the FBI HQ on the east coast, aiming to track down this story.
McEvoy's a 35-year-old bachelor who's lived in the same apartment for the past 9 years, working the same reporter beat at the paper.
reading about his life suddenly taking a turn for... (at least) the more interesting and exciting, i found myself strapping on my bag, slipping into my sandals, throwing on my shirt, shrugging sleep off, grabbing my 1.5 liter Kilimanjaro water bottle, with the label ripped off, and heading down the steps from my bunk in the dorm room, toward the bathroom. stop at the sink on the way out, scrub my face with water and wake myself up, then run my fingers through my hair that i'm growing out in a rather mottley fashion, and head out into the open courtyard, feeling invincible.
standing coolly in the shadows, my unkempt brown hair striking strange shadows across the tan bricks and chop-cut grass behind the short bushes, i breathe deeply, and suddenly realize the attitude shift that's come over me.
i suddenly feel like i'm on top of the world. i'm only going to check my email and perhaps blog a bit, really, so why this high? nothing fancy or new about me... just the bag i spent less than 14 bucks on in town, after getting a wad of cash out of the NBC ATM in Arusha. maybe it's because everything went so smoothly, or just because i am dwelling so much in God's goodness to me, that i'm frankly forgetting the key to all of this:
once i get to feeling this good, i'm likely to forget where the source of this joy really is.
i am liable to phase God out of the celebration, right at the kick-off.
i am on the verge of doing singleness the wrong way. where i start to get the hyper-inflated sense of self-worth, and my own ability to get involved and actually influence things. me and my intentionally shabby appearance begin to form an ego to go along with the care-freeness of it all.
i gotta remember--and reclaim--the simple truth of this only working if it's only about Jesus. not about being single.
the latter's great and all, but not if it's not filled in by something much, much better!
it's a daily thing: re-working on that. but it's good. just can't get too caught up with the crazy hair and the deadly hyper-inflation of Asher.
Peace.
Jesus.
Love.
-archer
McEvoy's a 35-year-old bachelor who's lived in the same apartment for the past 9 years, working the same reporter beat at the paper.
reading about his life suddenly taking a turn for... (at least) the more interesting and exciting, i found myself strapping on my bag, slipping into my sandals, throwing on my shirt, shrugging sleep off, grabbing my 1.5 liter Kilimanjaro water bottle, with the label ripped off, and heading down the steps from my bunk in the dorm room, toward the bathroom. stop at the sink on the way out, scrub my face with water and wake myself up, then run my fingers through my hair that i'm growing out in a rather mottley fashion, and head out into the open courtyard, feeling invincible.
standing coolly in the shadows, my unkempt brown hair striking strange shadows across the tan bricks and chop-cut grass behind the short bushes, i breathe deeply, and suddenly realize the attitude shift that's come over me.
i suddenly feel like i'm on top of the world. i'm only going to check my email and perhaps blog a bit, really, so why this high? nothing fancy or new about me... just the bag i spent less than 14 bucks on in town, after getting a wad of cash out of the NBC ATM in Arusha. maybe it's because everything went so smoothly, or just because i am dwelling so much in God's goodness to me, that i'm frankly forgetting the key to all of this:
once i get to feeling this good, i'm likely to forget where the source of this joy really is.
i am liable to phase God out of the celebration, right at the kick-off.
i am on the verge of doing singleness the wrong way. where i start to get the hyper-inflated sense of self-worth, and my own ability to get involved and actually influence things. me and my intentionally shabby appearance begin to form an ego to go along with the care-freeness of it all.
i gotta remember--and reclaim--the simple truth of this only working if it's only about Jesus. not about being single.
the latter's great and all, but not if it's not filled in by something much, much better!
it's a daily thing: re-working on that. but it's good. just can't get too caught up with the crazy hair and the deadly hyper-inflation of Asher.
Peace.
Jesus.
Love.
-archer
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
think for myself
there are two different trains of thought that i find myself bouncing back and forth between here: the willingness to accept everything. and the need to contest everything.
this DTS is teaching me about these two major viewpoints of the world. and everyone fits into one or the other. for the most part.
on the one hand, most of my African brothers and sisters can be taught anything by our speakers at this school, and it becomes their belief, in a heartbeat. that's not always bad, but it's dangerous when several times teachers and speakers here have slipped up and delivered us false information.
which brings me to the next group. all of us westerners here (by far the out-numbered ones, running close to 7:1 on the base) often jump at every chance to complain about anything. it comes from being raised and schooled into thinking that as westerners we're always right. this is also dangerous (though contesting things is not always bad).
it becomes difficult for me, as one westerner (the one who'd at first been so open to complete assimilation with African culture, and is now seemingly the one most anxious to return to the familiar things in life), as i wade between two sharply different outlooks.
i have definitely grown to question a lot of things about human relations, theological truths, applied biblical truths, and crazy jazz like that.
the most interesting thing is learning to think for myself. as a dear friend of mine puts it, i am "the representation of the bandwagon fallacy." (thank you Emily!)
it's what you've got to do, think for yourself, remembering that no other human has any right to direct you, rather you must belong wholly in your own realm with the God you are in love with. God meets everyone on a different level. ergo at the same time as thinking for myself, i've also gotta be looking first at Jesus, and letting him tear into my soul, carving out the junk i don't need and establishing the throne i pledged to him there, at age three.
Jesus: "well, asher, it's about time!"
asher: "yeah, well, ya see... um... i never really realized what i meant! i mean, come on, i was young... yeah, i know that's cliche, but it works, right?"
Jesus: "how old are you now, asher?"
asher: (ashamed, awkward silence)
Jesus: "do you really not trust me with your heart and soul? do you really think you're the better driver? or am i just your 'co-pilot'?"
asher: "uh... Jesus?"
Jesus: "yeah?"
asher: "i haven't taken really good care of myself, already. you sure you wanna drive a junker? i mean, i'm no lamborghini."
Jesus: "have you seen any other lamborghinis on the road?"
asher: "not exactly. only in magazines and billboards and TV and what-not."
Jesus: "yeah. thought so. they're just fakin' it."
asher: "figures."
Jesus: "yeah, they don't let me drive either. they just make it out of their own kit. spit-shine and whatever else makes em look good. but they don't last. if you let me drive, asher, we'll last. you and me. that's all there is too it. no girlfriends. no porn. no beer. no joints. no pride. no gossip. no quarrelling. no disobeying your parents--*"
asher: "wait! what? hey now--"
Jesus: "...just you and me. do you trust me? really? good. open up."
so i guess this makes me wonder if i'm really thinking for myself, as the term would imply, simplistically. but, ah, what the heck... probably better this way, eh?
PAX.
-archer
*(though this is pretty much irrelevant to the blog, Romans 1.18-32 clearly outlines tons of other sins on par with homosexuality. yes, i have an agenda. i don't deny it. but this is simply the truth i wanna show here. but i'll write more about that later...)
this DTS is teaching me about these two major viewpoints of the world. and everyone fits into one or the other. for the most part.
on the one hand, most of my African brothers and sisters can be taught anything by our speakers at this school, and it becomes their belief, in a heartbeat. that's not always bad, but it's dangerous when several times teachers and speakers here have slipped up and delivered us false information.
which brings me to the next group. all of us westerners here (by far the out-numbered ones, running close to 7:1 on the base) often jump at every chance to complain about anything. it comes from being raised and schooled into thinking that as westerners we're always right. this is also dangerous (though contesting things is not always bad).
it becomes difficult for me, as one westerner (the one who'd at first been so open to complete assimilation with African culture, and is now seemingly the one most anxious to return to the familiar things in life), as i wade between two sharply different outlooks.
i have definitely grown to question a lot of things about human relations, theological truths, applied biblical truths, and crazy jazz like that.
the most interesting thing is learning to think for myself. as a dear friend of mine puts it, i am "the representation of the bandwagon fallacy." (thank you Emily!)
it's what you've got to do, think for yourself, remembering that no other human has any right to direct you, rather you must belong wholly in your own realm with the God you are in love with. God meets everyone on a different level. ergo at the same time as thinking for myself, i've also gotta be looking first at Jesus, and letting him tear into my soul, carving out the junk i don't need and establishing the throne i pledged to him there, at age three.
Jesus: "well, asher, it's about time!"
asher: "yeah, well, ya see... um... i never really realized what i meant! i mean, come on, i was young... yeah, i know that's cliche, but it works, right?"
Jesus: "how old are you now, asher?"
asher: (ashamed, awkward silence)
Jesus: "do you really not trust me with your heart and soul? do you really think you're the better driver? or am i just your 'co-pilot'?"
asher: "uh... Jesus?"
Jesus: "yeah?"
asher: "i haven't taken really good care of myself, already. you sure you wanna drive a junker? i mean, i'm no lamborghini."
Jesus: "have you seen any other lamborghinis on the road?"
asher: "not exactly. only in magazines and billboards and TV and what-not."
Jesus: "yeah. thought so. they're just fakin' it."
asher: "figures."
Jesus: "yeah, they don't let me drive either. they just make it out of their own kit. spit-shine and whatever else makes em look good. but they don't last. if you let me drive, asher, we'll last. you and me. that's all there is too it. no girlfriends. no porn. no beer. no joints. no pride. no gossip. no quarrelling. no disobeying your parents--*"
asher: "wait! what? hey now--"
Jesus: "...just you and me. do you trust me? really? good. open up."
so i guess this makes me wonder if i'm really thinking for myself, as the term would imply, simplistically. but, ah, what the heck... probably better this way, eh?
PAX.
-archer
*(though this is pretty much irrelevant to the blog, Romans 1.18-32 clearly outlines tons of other sins on par with homosexuality. yes, i have an agenda. i don't deny it. but this is simply the truth i wanna show here. but i'll write more about that later...)
until next monday...
...i'm feeling much better. the expunging of my systems cleared everything out, as i figured, and after spending an hour and a half, sleeping on the bathroom stall floor, my head resting on my roll of toilet paper, my own body crumpled into itself in muted pain, until 11pm... waking this morning was a blessing!
i feel so much more alive! it's beautiful! God really is good! i strangely found myself softly humming and trying to remember all the words to a good worship song last night, before i laid down on the stall floor. it was interesting, just seeing that despite my near agony, i could be thankful that in literally everything, God's presence never changes!
the weather today is amazing... feels like the first week of summer... the last week of classes. the perfect breeze, the reasonably cool and warm temperatures. the decent cloud cover from time to time. it feels really good. really peaceful!
i'm gonna go back to class now... it's kinda cool that even being in class is starting to fill me with fond memories of high school and that one random year of college (that probably won't be the last of my 'higher education', considering new "revelations" of sorts)...
life is good.
God is good.
Peace to you all, brothers and sisters.
(i have every intention of not eating anything but the bread-and-butter breakfast on sunday... i'm in no mood for a fifth knock-out round!)
PAX.
i feel so much more alive! it's beautiful! God really is good! i strangely found myself softly humming and trying to remember all the words to a good worship song last night, before i laid down on the stall floor. it was interesting, just seeing that despite my near agony, i could be thankful that in literally everything, God's presence never changes!
the weather today is amazing... feels like the first week of summer... the last week of classes. the perfect breeze, the reasonably cool and warm temperatures. the decent cloud cover from time to time. it feels really good. really peaceful!
i'm gonna go back to class now... it's kinda cool that even being in class is starting to fill me with fond memories of high school and that one random year of college (that probably won't be the last of my 'higher education', considering new "revelations" of sorts)...
life is good.
God is good.
Peace to you all, brothers and sisters.
(i have every intention of not eating anything but the bread-and-butter breakfast on sunday... i'm in no mood for a fifth knock-out round!)
PAX.
Monday, December 3, 2007
oh, what's the word...?
there's a word i can't really remember all that well. my first girlfriend, freshman year of high school, used to always call herself this. and it fits me now more than ever before in my life. it means you do something a lot, way more than everyone else, and it's not healthy, and now, as i attempt to find the word on dictionary.com, you shall see (hopefully) how miserable i have become due to this condition.
it seems to happen every monday.
i'm a valetudinarian.
yep, i'm an invalid. chronically sick. frickin sucks.
this is the fourth time since i arrived in Arusha 3 months ago that i've been nauseous. the last three times i was fine after ...um... clearing my system.
sadly this time around that hasn't happened yet. and i've missed the first class session of the week. and i'm going to miss work duty too. for the third time since last monday--i had a fever that day.
between 4 nauseated mornings, a fever or two, chronic weakness that clung for a month as fatigue, and random headaches that cripple most of my human functions, i'm pretty much an invalid. no point in trying to dodge that description, i don't figure. but yeah. can't wait till this passes.
Patrick prayed with me a bit this morning, and i honestly believe i'll be well by the time i wake up tomorrow, if not before. but still.... hanging in limbo like this gets on my nerves.
obviously, i'm not nearly as articulate as i can be in my writings, and that coupled with a general sense of impending doom (and a runny nose left over from last week's fever), i'm pretty much having a crummy day.
it'll get better no doubt, i just wish i could function better. and i wish dinner wasn't going to be ugali and sukuma. but, c'est la vie.
to be quite honest, just writing this with a vaguely comical flare and imagining the reactions to some of my terminology, by a handful of my audience, a new smile rests upon my face.
so, i guess, i almost get to laugh at your misfortune as you read this. (as we say here in East Africa, pronounced "Po-lay", as a sign of feeling bad for someone:) "Pole!"
hey, look at it this way, at least your discomfort only lasts as long as it takes you to read half a page! this is the part wherein i become jealous.
PAX everybody!
(oh, and um... pray that i can ... expunge last night's dinner.)
-archer
it seems to happen every monday.
i'm a valetudinarian.
yep, i'm an invalid. chronically sick. frickin sucks.
this is the fourth time since i arrived in Arusha 3 months ago that i've been nauseous. the last three times i was fine after ...um... clearing my system.
sadly this time around that hasn't happened yet. and i've missed the first class session of the week. and i'm going to miss work duty too. for the third time since last monday--i had a fever that day.
between 4 nauseated mornings, a fever or two, chronic weakness that clung for a month as fatigue, and random headaches that cripple most of my human functions, i'm pretty much an invalid. no point in trying to dodge that description, i don't figure. but yeah. can't wait till this passes.
Patrick prayed with me a bit this morning, and i honestly believe i'll be well by the time i wake up tomorrow, if not before. but still.... hanging in limbo like this gets on my nerves.
obviously, i'm not nearly as articulate as i can be in my writings, and that coupled with a general sense of impending doom (and a runny nose left over from last week's fever), i'm pretty much having a crummy day.
it'll get better no doubt, i just wish i could function better. and i wish dinner wasn't going to be ugali and sukuma. but, c'est la vie.
to be quite honest, just writing this with a vaguely comical flare and imagining the reactions to some of my terminology, by a handful of my audience, a new smile rests upon my face.
so, i guess, i almost get to laugh at your misfortune as you read this. (as we say here in East Africa, pronounced "Po-lay", as a sign of feeling bad for someone:) "Pole!"
hey, look at it this way, at least your discomfort only lasts as long as it takes you to read half a page! this is the part wherein i become jealous.
PAX everybody!
(oh, and um... pray that i can ... expunge last night's dinner.)
-archer
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