Saturday, April 28, 2007

that hallway of 82 and a half...


i'm standing in a hallway right now, lined with 82 and a half open doors.

yeah that half-door's quite the confusing one.

until i am on the north american continent again in late january 2008, i will not know which one is best. hopefully 81 and a half doors will close. or maybe 82, and then that half-door will grow open or something.

being torn kinda sucks a lot.
Africa will shape me and define me. create me and build me. support me and direct me.
until then i will see only open doors. even the violent ones. i hope those ones close so the peaceful ones can be more appealling. but i can roll with whatever. i shall take all because i have made peace with all. all but that half-door.

still workin' on that one.

the mountains are trembling and time is crescendoing earth's very existence, God's very presence. it's all here. now i just must wait. the entire puzzle is waiting for that one large piece. i am waiting for that one large piece. then can i know whether or not i will someday marry a beautiful queen. until then i struggle to daily make peace with the likelihood that i will go solo on this earth.

if i do marry, she better be fighting by my side. and i better be fighting by her side.

when i recognize you next to me, surging into the jungle mist, across the hazy savannah, and the searing Sahara... then will i take a knee to your soft hand and reach for your finger. if i may.

if i am extinguished before that moment, know that i wanted to reach that point. know that i wanted to get there. but that my number was up too early. i'm at peace with that. ready to go.

"how are you not afraid to go over there?"
"because i know i'm going to die there."

..."good nuff fo me"...

pax to the beloved of heavenly Adonai

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