so, over the past few weeks or so, my brain, heart, and relationship with Jesus have been taken along a strange internal ride triggered by watching the film, 'Les Miserables' with my DTS class one night, as part of the topic "Sin, forgiveness, and repentance".
i've gone through several trying stages in what seems to be quite a difficult road to discovering exactly what my idealogy is. iroically two days after this internal struggle began, and i was almost completely sure of who i am now and who i'll be in 10 years, God, in prayer, came crashing down on everything i thought i'd figured out about myself.
i was upset and depressed for several hours that afternoon. i slept for about 20 minutes before our work duty began, and when i woke i was already feeling better. i'd gone and opened the emergency letter i had in a stack of letters Krissi had sent me before the trip, all meant to be opened at specific times throughout my stay, and several months into my time back in the states. inside had been a poem (maybe she wrote it, i'm not sure) about catching a falling star, a drawing of a falling star, and a little painted blue seven-pointed star. that star was then placed on my necklace and i wore it as i rose from my sleep and headed off into what was, to me, already a new day.
during work duty it rained. not hard, but for a long time. it was the first rain of it's kind since we'd arrived. and only the third time precipitation had fallen in Arusha since September 9th, to my knowledge.
it was a day of rebirth in so many ways.
i was humbled. and i was uplifted.
i was crumbled. and i was repaired.
i was cursed. yet i was blessed.
though i know now who my identity rests in, i am still struggling with everything concerning things like Liberation Theology, Communist idealogy, activism, revolution, and themes and topics like that.
i searched on Google for the words "Christian Communist" this afternoon.
there's a whole page on it in Wikipedia. i read over much of it while i should have been eating lunch (can't wait for dinner!)
as most of you, who know me as an impassioned over-dramatic wanna-be revolutionary, have probably guessed that yes, it seems to fit me quite well. i'm yet to read the infamous Manifesto, but i'f found a copy of it here at the library, so i'm planning on getting through it relatively soon. and perhaps then, the final verdict will come. go ahead and read the article if you get the chance:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christian_communism
for the record, i will not stand for violence without warrant. frankly
Just War
as a concept is so entirely unfamiliar to me at this point that i need to do a lot of research. i've learned a lot about resistance, when and where it's just, by reading parts of
Lex Rex
and comparing it with Biblical references.
still working out the kinks.
pray for me, and feel free to suggest.
i also ask that you please don't condemn me because i mention the likelihood of being in line with parts of communism. i am simply working through an understanding of certain things i know i have a passion for. one of the greatest among these is
justice.
in that vain, i am attempting to build a foundation for the likelihood that God may still use me in many politically active ways.
after all, our God is a God of Justice. i think we ought to emulate that.
read Psalm 82. i just discovered it about a week ago, and it's really helped me understand the truth that no matter which way i do it, i have to seek justice.
PAX.
Mungu a bariki. (God bless you.)
-Archer
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7 comments:
Hey Asher!
No, I didn't write the poem on my own.
But I'm glad it helped you.
Hopefully most of your questions will be answered soon and you get to know your identity.
HDL
-Krissi
So Asher, I don't condemn you for your favoring in communism. I just wanted to let you know that in all its ideals and the way it looks on paper, it is a fabulous idea but in real life no society can be a utopia just because of the fact not one person is alike. I am sure you will think about my insight, I am not trying to sway any position you stand for. I just like to let both sides in before I make my political stand on the outside.
how do i e-mail you? i tried the global one and it came back to me undelivered
Asher, there are PLENTY of authors and pragmatists who are not "Christian Communists", but Christians who are passionate about justice and equality. Ron Sider, Tom Sine to name a couple. Look them up when you get the chance. Or, of course, I have plenty books and resources once you get home. I agree with Melanie -- looking good on paper is an entirely different thing than being truly just and working in real life.
I'm glad that u are finding urself, but i am sad that it took u so many years, and thousands of miles to get there. i suppose it just goes to show that u never know when god will choose to bring out of u the actual self, and allow u to realize it.
i love u my dear brother. be safe, and don't worry. god will guide ur hand in the right direction no matter what. he believes in u, as do i.
wow. interesting. ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm yea.
I went through an identity crisis myself. It took me taking a half dozen political quiz's and them all telling me I am a Statist that all the lights went on for me. Soooo, I now call myself a Christian Communist. Enjoy the search my friend.
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