grip.

i am in Macedonia, OH--right now. i am sitting in a hotel room which i am renting alone for the day, the night, and the morning tomorrow. i spent last night here already and today i have only been in contact with the hostess and waitresses at Denny's across the parking lot.

oh, and with God.

yeah. finally. this was why i came out here. to be alone with God.

and i think all he wants to keep telling me is what he wants from me. I've actually gotten pissed at him already this morning.
pissed because i'm not in Africa yet. i wish i could blame him for my not being there yet. but perhaps i am solely at blame.

it really doesn't matter who's to blame... the point is what he's telling me. and i think he's honestly telling me to be an example of his love. an example of his love in Africa.

i am not at home, and even when i return to Cleveland tonight, i will not be at home. i don't believe i ever really have been.

in speaking with Evon last night, i told her i wanted just one revelation on this retreat. and i think i've gotten it. i think it's more affirmation that Africa is where he wants me... as soon as i can get there.

I want peace in this world. but no matter how few wars there will be in the future... there will never be peace unless my brothers and sisters in Africa can stop going to bed each night with the fear that they won't wake in the morning.

as i put in my prayer journal this morning--

"Hurt me & hold me
Disturb me and wound me.

All I want in this world
is to live & work so that
my grave may read:

'He love and
served others'"


...love God. love people. nothing else matters...