I've been in an interesting place lately. Like the kind of interesting that spawns from possibilities that seem to stretch beyond one's wildest dreams!
I have a number of possible courses of action to pursue this year.
1. Go to Perth, Australia and work and study at the YWAM (Youth With A Mission) base there for about two years, taking part in a Basic Leadership School and possibly going on outreaches and being a part of ministry within the base's leadership and Christ-centered agenda.
2. Go to Purdue University and carry on my studies as a Political Studies major with minors in German and in Religious Studies.
or...
3. Stay in Lafayette, not necessarily attending Purdue, while working and move into a low-cost apartment in a nearby neighborhood that struggles with poverty and crime, and hang out with kids in the neighborhood, potentially opening doors for a fellowship and community Bible study with people of all ages, and attach the ministry to my church here in Lafayette.
4. Study at Purdue for the fall and spring semesters, save up money to go to Perth to work on staff for the summer next year, and learn the ropes of the base, and consider the BLS (Basic Leadership School) after finishing up my degree.
5. Regardless of where I go, I'll also have the capacity to continue working for the Not For Sale Campaign [to combat human trafficking], since I'm the Deputy State Director here in Indiana, and NFSC will be hosting a seminar at the Perth base later this month, and thus might end up more heavily involved with ministry and practical outreach at the Perth base, or in Australia in general.
The thing is, if I take on either of the first two options, it's possible the opposite will follow in due time, shortly after whichever I do first. And the third and fourth ideas could both also work with the second plan, of attending classes.
I have a lot of my personal demons to fight off before I can be relatively comfortable with jumping into any more involved ministry of any kind. I intend to spend much of my summer walking with The Rabbi and intensely delving into God's word, attempting to fight off some of my deepest rooted sins and learning to act justly, love mercy, and to walk humbly with my God, my beautiful Adonai.
Friends, family, and loved ones, I pray for your guidance, prayers, thoughts, encouragement, advice, and suggestions as I try to seek out what is best and right for my next step in life.
Shalom.
Showing posts with label Bible. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bible. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Sunday, September 7, 2008
i lose
one of my favourite games of all time is Risk.
i think i have this vague sense that at some point in history i won that game once.
but as a general rule, i know i always lose.
and yet it is still among my favourites.
while sitting here before church, reading about suffering for the Name (a Name i believe is also so often attributed to true justice and righteous acts for the sake of the people) from the sermon on the mount, and listening to Coldplay's Viva la Vida, it occurred to me exactly why i love that game so much!
i love fighting hard--to the last man--until my imminent defeat against an enemy so big that i know they'll crush me, but until that moment, until that day, I'LL GIVE 'EM HELL!
in that sense it feels like reality, the way i expect my life to play out if God puts me where i think he'll put me--
before an unjust enemy.
write your letters
grit your teeth
say your prayers
lock and load.
Monday, January 14, 2008
Somalia, Kenya, and other death wishes...
apparently the US government has just told all US citizens not to travel to Kenya because of the disorder.
Somolia's out of the question for most normal westerners (especially americans) anyway.
and i was going to try to travel to Kenya after my DTS, with my friend Joy, who lives in Kisumu. she and i have been tracking all of the stories on my radio here at the base, that thankfully i was wise enough to bring on outreach in Mwanza. it became our staple. especially in the bush-bush of Nassa.
but i felt God telling me to go home. i don't have the money to get there, to postpone my flight, or to survive for two weeks as i'd hoped. i wanted to go and take pictures, to march, to go to rallies, to comfort the victims, and to try to reach out to the leaders. but God is apparently not sending me there.
but i still feel him sending me to Somalia. there's a huge peace about it, and at the same time a crazy excitement that tickles the edges of my senses, like flames licking at the edge of paper before it goes up in smoke. it's an all-consuming fire right on the edge of my being, and here i am, waiting and praying for the doorway into that hellish place--the Horn of Africa.
since 1991 when a coup d'etat toppled the government, there have been about 15 attempts at a new, stable government. for just over a year now, Ethiopia has been running the show, since taking Mogadishu on December 28, 2006. they might be the longest running controller in recent years. i don't really know too much about it.
but for some reason, i'm pretty sure it's where i've got to go. i don't know exactly when or how (hopefully with Amnesty International, trying to stabalize everything from a human rights vantage point), but only God knows now.
i need to brush up on my Arabic before i get the green-light.
and get a better camera.
and a couple important licenses to aid me in various sectors of life there.
and i need to finish reading the Qu'ran.
and the Bible.
hehe... :) like i said, there's that heated excitement!
pray for me, dear brothers and sisters, as i pray for you.
PAX.
Somolia's out of the question for most normal westerners (especially americans) anyway.
and i was going to try to travel to Kenya after my DTS, with my friend Joy, who lives in Kisumu. she and i have been tracking all of the stories on my radio here at the base, that thankfully i was wise enough to bring on outreach in Mwanza. it became our staple. especially in the bush-bush of Nassa.
but i felt God telling me to go home. i don't have the money to get there, to postpone my flight, or to survive for two weeks as i'd hoped. i wanted to go and take pictures, to march, to go to rallies, to comfort the victims, and to try to reach out to the leaders. but God is apparently not sending me there.
but i still feel him sending me to Somalia. there's a huge peace about it, and at the same time a crazy excitement that tickles the edges of my senses, like flames licking at the edge of paper before it goes up in smoke. it's an all-consuming fire right on the edge of my being, and here i am, waiting and praying for the doorway into that hellish place--the Horn of Africa.
since 1991 when a coup d'etat toppled the government, there have been about 15 attempts at a new, stable government. for just over a year now, Ethiopia has been running the show, since taking Mogadishu on December 28, 2006. they might be the longest running controller in recent years. i don't really know too much about it.
but for some reason, i'm pretty sure it's where i've got to go. i don't know exactly when or how (hopefully with Amnesty International, trying to stabalize everything from a human rights vantage point), but only God knows now.
i need to brush up on my Arabic before i get the green-light.
and get a better camera.
and a couple important licenses to aid me in various sectors of life there.
and i need to finish reading the Qu'ran.
and the Bible.
hehe... :) like i said, there's that heated excitement!
pray for me, dear brothers and sisters, as i pray for you.
PAX.
Monday, December 17, 2007
evolution theory - God's creation
I never really believed in Evolution theories; not the one of
I also didn’t really believe the bible when it comes to the point how the earth was created.
God’s creation in the bible is written down like a song. There are the strophes in which God’s doing is described and then there’s the refrain with the words ‘And God saw that it was good.’
It was just a song for me; Nothing more.
But about one week ago I talked to someone about Evolution and about God’s creation.
He told me about Dr. Kent Hovind and his theory.
Dr. Kent Hovind says that the bible says the truth and that God made the earth and that the earth isn’t as old as the evolution theories say (young earth creationism).
And the weird thing is, the more I do research about him and his theory the clearer it becomes to me and I can believe it.
He also says that humans lived together with dinosaurs.
I ask you, is the picture a proof for this theory?
I would say, yes. How can a footprint of a dinosaur and of a human be together in one layer of rock if they didn’t live together at the same time.
But all the Evolution theories and also the theory of Dr. Kent Hovind are just theories! No one has a real proof for his theory because no one was there, when the earth began to be earth.
But I think everyone has to find the theory he/she can believe in.
God will help you to find the right one.God bless you
-Krissi
Friday, December 14, 2007
the first blog entry of Krissi
Hey!
Archer asked me to write some blog entries during the time he’s on his outreach and Punjabican is on her winter break from school.
It’s some kind of weird for me to blog here because this blog has always been Archer’s for me.
He has always been the one who blogged most of the time and I don’t really know what to write about, especially because I need to write in English and it’s hard for me to find the right English words to say what I mean.
So I just want to introduce myself to the ones who read this blog:
I’m Krissi, I’m from
I’m a Christian who has many questions about God, the bible, the right belief and how I can live my life the way God wants me to live it.
I believe in God.
I believe in Jesus.
I believe in the Holy Spirit.
I believe in the opportunity of everyone to change something in this cruel world even if it’s only a small change.
I believe that one day I’ll know what my function in this world is.
I just believe in so many other things I can’t list here because it would take me hours to write them all down.
I believe and that’s good.
I know so many people who studied Theology and who deal with the bible in a critical way. I got to know this way of dealing with the bible and I still practice it.
But is a critical way of reading the Bible the right way?
One of my friends asked me how I can believe in God when I ask for logical answers to every question.
I can’t tell. It’s my social environment which influences me a lot and which brings me to ask all these questions.
But he told me that it should not be people around me who influence me. It should be God.
And yes, he’s right. God made me to what I am and I’m very thankful for his love and his patience which he always has for me.
But the people around me and their believes influence me as well.
So now you know the thing I’m most struggling with; my belief even if I believe.
And I believe that there are many grammar and spelling mistakes in this blog entry. I’m sorry for them but I tried to do my best.
God bless you,
lots of greetings from
-Krissi
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Church ..part two..
"Jesus said to the people who believed in him, "'you are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teachings. and you will know the thruth, and the truth will set you free... So if the Son sets you free, you are truly free.'"
-John 8.31-32,36
all truth we ever learn is meant to point us toward the Son who truly craves a relationship with us. but, as Taylor pointed out, we are given the freedom to choose to live in freedom. or we can stick to our old ways. as many of Jesus' disciples deserted him in John 6.60-71, he humbly asked the 12, "are you also going to leave?" (v.67)
i can picture that revolutionary leader, already pushed into the ground by the religious leaders of the time, living his whole life both solely AS truth, and FOR truth. and when people refuse truth, whether given proof or no, it can destroy the good messenger. with sadness weighing on him, Jesus turned from the crowd to his twelve closest brothers, looking each of them in the eyes for a moment as he annunciated those pain-surged words. possibly on the verge of tears, he slows down his speech, letting each syllable bring his gaze to another apostle in the small huddle. the wind on the hillside is forced to the background of all thought for the apostles. the sun burning on their faces and the sand beneath their toes, uncomfortably shifting on the pads of their sandals--all sensation is forgotten and lost unto them. their leader, their beloved hero, the only person they have any real stock in... has just challenged them. perhaps, the apostles might think, if this is the messiah, doesn't he already know what i'm going to do? either way, they realize they definitely have the choice now. hard teachings will come a hundredfold by the time Jesus reaches Golgotha. this is one of the moments they can leave him and blend with the crowd.
given the choice, every time i face a hard teaching, it takes me weeks, often, to face up to what Jesus' words and example will mean for me. and these hard teachings will come a hundredfold by the time i reach Sheol. ever moment is one of those moments when i can leave him and slip into the massive deserting crowd. it's just too easy.
but with those eyes on the verge of tears, i already know i've got to stick by my master, my Father, the one who's invested so much in me. ignoring the sun, the wind, the sand... i've got to cross the line onto the other side. a daily Alamo challenge.
i think the whole Church faces it. there's not much we can do if we really know who we're hurting by saying no. if we really know who we're loving and pleasing by saying yes.
as each of the twelve cross the invisible line and move closer to their Rabbi--their Lord--they watch the tears in his eyes fade. a stray tear slides silently down his cheek. not one of the apostles blames him for it. greeted with a warm embrace, one by one, in the gathering dusk, this weak-seeming gesture is turned on its head and used in the most profound way it's ever been used troughout the course of all eternal history. in fact, they likely think, this is why i love him more--because he shows us how much he loves us. and this reciprocal love before the twelve sinners even have an inkling of the cross to come.
we know about the overabundance of love and sacrifice because the cross has already come. the Church needs to understand who she's betrothed to. we need to be faithful. to every word of teaching. to every gesture of acceptance. to every example of truth. to every ounce of real love.
Peace be with us all. in Jesus' name.
-John 8.31-32,36
all truth we ever learn is meant to point us toward the Son who truly craves a relationship with us. but, as Taylor pointed out, we are given the freedom to choose to live in freedom. or we can stick to our old ways. as many of Jesus' disciples deserted him in John 6.60-71, he humbly asked the 12, "are you also going to leave?" (v.67)
i can picture that revolutionary leader, already pushed into the ground by the religious leaders of the time, living his whole life both solely AS truth, and FOR truth. and when people refuse truth, whether given proof or no, it can destroy the good messenger. with sadness weighing on him, Jesus turned from the crowd to his twelve closest brothers, looking each of them in the eyes for a moment as he annunciated those pain-surged words. possibly on the verge of tears, he slows down his speech, letting each syllable bring his gaze to another apostle in the small huddle. the wind on the hillside is forced to the background of all thought for the apostles. the sun burning on their faces and the sand beneath their toes, uncomfortably shifting on the pads of their sandals--all sensation is forgotten and lost unto them. their leader, their beloved hero, the only person they have any real stock in... has just challenged them. perhaps, the apostles might think, if this is the messiah, doesn't he already know what i'm going to do? either way, they realize they definitely have the choice now. hard teachings will come a hundredfold by the time Jesus reaches Golgotha. this is one of the moments they can leave him and blend with the crowd.
given the choice, every time i face a hard teaching, it takes me weeks, often, to face up to what Jesus' words and example will mean for me. and these hard teachings will come a hundredfold by the time i reach Sheol. ever moment is one of those moments when i can leave him and slip into the massive deserting crowd. it's just too easy.
but with those eyes on the verge of tears, i already know i've got to stick by my master, my Father, the one who's invested so much in me. ignoring the sun, the wind, the sand... i've got to cross the line onto the other side. a daily Alamo challenge.
i think the whole Church faces it. there's not much we can do if we really know who we're hurting by saying no. if we really know who we're loving and pleasing by saying yes.
as each of the twelve cross the invisible line and move closer to their Rabbi--their Lord--they watch the tears in his eyes fade. a stray tear slides silently down his cheek. not one of the apostles blames him for it. greeted with a warm embrace, one by one, in the gathering dusk, this weak-seeming gesture is turned on its head and used in the most profound way it's ever been used troughout the course of all eternal history. in fact, they likely think, this is why i love him more--because he shows us how much he loves us. and this reciprocal love before the twelve sinners even have an inkling of the cross to come.
we know about the overabundance of love and sacrifice because the cross has already come. the Church needs to understand who she's betrothed to. we need to be faithful. to every word of teaching. to every gesture of acceptance. to every example of truth. to every ounce of real love.
Peace be with us all. in Jesus' name.
Church
"in relation to the Kingdom of God--what about the Church? firstly, she's not to draw attention to herself. as soon as she does so, she's lost the power and authority given her."
-Tony Taylor, of England (our speaker for the week, here at the DTS).
it's a grave reminder to me personally, as i begin an endeavor to write a critique on the Church's most "popular" problems she's facing today. perhaps common is a better word. but i'm sure that the former will actually shed more light on it, in some ways.
sadly, i'm walking a very tight rope in writing this little essay, since i am in danger of drawing attention not only to the Church, but also to myself. as much as i hope my [comparatively incredibly uneducated] words are taken seriously, respected and understoof... the last thing i want is the attention of others in the Church.
just as Marx and Engel became almost as famous as their Manifesto, and Luther as famous as his Theses (to the point where frankly all i know about the Theses is that it stood against indulgences, and i know much more about Luther himself).
it worries me that theologians generally have big names. Dr. King calls it the "Drum-Major Instinct". and i am not at all calling out any theologians for striving to be as famous as their theology. but it is interesting to me that they seem like they are not disappearing like Bobby Fisher. but then again, that generated more publicity than his known achievements.
so i guess it's not so purely an example of Dr. King's fear--though there are examples such as Bishop Spong--rather i believe it is a symptom of a leader-starved world. we're so lacking in strong leaders, as the world has nearly every generation since the Judges began to rule Israel. so, of course nearly anyone we can set our eyes on who knows what they're talking about, we nearly canonize them.
frankly, i've nearly done that very same thing to Tony Taylor as he's been teaching. it's so apparent that God's been speaking through him. and in realizing that we get blinded by the truth that is in front of us, and we stop there, we find an unsettling amount of admiration within ourselves toward the creation and not the Creator. we fail to move on, following in the direction the truth is leading us...
-Tony Taylor, of England (our speaker for the week, here at the DTS).
it's a grave reminder to me personally, as i begin an endeavor to write a critique on the Church's most "popular" problems she's facing today. perhaps common is a better word. but i'm sure that the former will actually shed more light on it, in some ways.
sadly, i'm walking a very tight rope in writing this little essay, since i am in danger of drawing attention not only to the Church, but also to myself. as much as i hope my [comparatively incredibly uneducated] words are taken seriously, respected and understoof... the last thing i want is the attention of others in the Church.
just as Marx and Engel became almost as famous as their Manifesto, and Luther as famous as his Theses (to the point where frankly all i know about the Theses is that it stood against indulgences, and i know much more about Luther himself).
it worries me that theologians generally have big names. Dr. King calls it the "Drum-Major Instinct". and i am not at all calling out any theologians for striving to be as famous as their theology. but it is interesting to me that they seem like they are not disappearing like Bobby Fisher. but then again, that generated more publicity than his known achievements.
so i guess it's not so purely an example of Dr. King's fear--though there are examples such as Bishop Spong--rather i believe it is a symptom of a leader-starved world. we're so lacking in strong leaders, as the world has nearly every generation since the Judges began to rule Israel. so, of course nearly anyone we can set our eyes on who knows what they're talking about, we nearly canonize them.
frankly, i've nearly done that very same thing to Tony Taylor as he's been teaching. it's so apparent that God's been speaking through him. and in realizing that we get blinded by the truth that is in front of us, and we stop there, we find an unsettling amount of admiration within ourselves toward the creation and not the Creator. we fail to move on, following in the direction the truth is leading us...
Sunday, October 14, 2007
they say...
they say that when the last thing in the world you want to do is write, that is exactly what you have to do.
frankly, i'm so tired and bored, and completely out of pace with deep thoughts at the moment, and my fingers are in no mood to contribute to society that the only thing i can think of is the fact that i've hurt people recently, and i'm going to do it again.
there's really no way to avoid it.
i am called to discipleship, and it is a very costly thing. my old life has passed and though great memories remain, i know that when i finally do return to the states, nothing will ever be the same.
my hand is at the plow, i cannot look back.
God is calling me to rise up and give what i must to the simple phrase, "follow me."
and in so doing, or attempting to do, i've greatly hurt a number of people. some have voiced this hurt, while others leave it to be read between the lines of their words to me.
frankly, i know my apology can't cover the pain that certain people will feel because of this. for that reason, i simply seek forgiveness, scattering the seeds across the earth, some falling on good soil, ready to accept my apology, others falling on the cold, hard pavement. pavement so unforgiving i'd crack my skull were i to trip onto it.
the best i can offer is that i am mostly happy where i'm at now. God has opened up so many doors for me, of various kinds, and he's challenging me to walk worthy of his calling. worthy of him.
so i take the first steps out in faith and hope he gives me a new step before my foot slips through and causes me to fall a long way down. but he's always provided that foothold in the past, and i believe in it now more than i ever did before Africa.
here, i realize what true faith is. what true love is. what true patience is. what true learning is.
and in almost everything i've been unprepared. c'est la vie.
but that's the training of it. the beauty of it.
"consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverence. perseverence must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." -James 1.2-3
please forgive me, my dear dear brothers and sisters. some of you may find it very easy to continue through life's journey with me even now that i'm undergoing change. while probably many more of you will not be able to accept my changes.
i'm at the point where i am leaving myself back in Indiana and Ohio, and Kentucky, and coming here, willing to be re-born, willing to run the gauntlet, so that i may simply be seen as His. it's all i've got. and i'm glad of it. in my weaknesses, He will be strongly seen. in my failures, achievements beyond human capability will be witnessed.
and perhaps, as i believe he has revealed to me, Bibles will get into the hands of those who desire one. whether conventionally or unconventionally.
i pray you understand. i thank those of you who do, and i can't explain it more to those who don't. this is just what has come to pass.
i have heard the call, and now i must answer.
Amen.
Salaams, brothers and sisters.
frankly, i'm so tired and bored, and completely out of pace with deep thoughts at the moment, and my fingers are in no mood to contribute to society that the only thing i can think of is the fact that i've hurt people recently, and i'm going to do it again.
there's really no way to avoid it.
i am called to discipleship, and it is a very costly thing. my old life has passed and though great memories remain, i know that when i finally do return to the states, nothing will ever be the same.
my hand is at the plow, i cannot look back.
God is calling me to rise up and give what i must to the simple phrase, "follow me."
and in so doing, or attempting to do, i've greatly hurt a number of people. some have voiced this hurt, while others leave it to be read between the lines of their words to me.
frankly, i know my apology can't cover the pain that certain people will feel because of this. for that reason, i simply seek forgiveness, scattering the seeds across the earth, some falling on good soil, ready to accept my apology, others falling on the cold, hard pavement. pavement so unforgiving i'd crack my skull were i to trip onto it.
the best i can offer is that i am mostly happy where i'm at now. God has opened up so many doors for me, of various kinds, and he's challenging me to walk worthy of his calling. worthy of him.
so i take the first steps out in faith and hope he gives me a new step before my foot slips through and causes me to fall a long way down. but he's always provided that foothold in the past, and i believe in it now more than i ever did before Africa.
here, i realize what true faith is. what true love is. what true patience is. what true learning is.
and in almost everything i've been unprepared. c'est la vie.
but that's the training of it. the beauty of it.
"consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverence. perseverence must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." -James 1.2-3
please forgive me, my dear dear brothers and sisters. some of you may find it very easy to continue through life's journey with me even now that i'm undergoing change. while probably many more of you will not be able to accept my changes.
i'm at the point where i am leaving myself back in Indiana and Ohio, and Kentucky, and coming here, willing to be re-born, willing to run the gauntlet, so that i may simply be seen as His. it's all i've got. and i'm glad of it. in my weaknesses, He will be strongly seen. in my failures, achievements beyond human capability will be witnessed.
and perhaps, as i believe he has revealed to me, Bibles will get into the hands of those who desire one. whether conventionally or unconventionally.
i pray you understand. i thank those of you who do, and i can't explain it more to those who don't. this is just what has come to pass.
i have heard the call, and now i must answer.
Amen.
Salaams, brothers and sisters.
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Luke 2.10-- a letter to my parents yesterday
Mom, Dad,
...you're never going to believe this!
I should have first recognized the confirmation as i was speaking with Munishi about the Bibles for Edward and his family. As soon as i mentioned them to him, he jumped at the chance to help me find a need to fill. It wasn't long before he'd helped me once and had offered his help for the future.
this story all tied itself together today!
i am CERTAIN this is God's next step for me!
This morning, as i was working on my journal, i was finding clippings from my magazines to illustrate the topic of last sunday's service. Vera, our temp. base leader, whom i've already mentioned in several places, preached from Psalm 90.10-12, about "living a life of impact." as i gathered thoughts to fill that page in my journal, i began to relate it to my possible calling. i wanted to create a picture, a collage of several small pictures illustrating my role in the world. i took a small picture of a globe, stuck it onto a stretch of mountainous road from a Honda ad in WIRED, and put a running, jumping man's sillhouette at the other end of the road. the only thing missing was a picture of a Bible. i surprisingly couldn't find a single picture of a Bible in the whole of the Relevant magazine, sadly lol! but i remembered my friend Joyce's little tract she'd been clipping things out of. i went to her just in time and cut out the last little picture of the Bible in the whole tract. it was open and the pages looked more-or-less blank, so i went ahead and decided to write something on the pages. a verse that would fit really well. the first thing that popped into my head was the story in Luke where the Angel says "i bring you great news of great joy" or something like it. all i really wanted was the part that was the angel's message, not the part saying "the angel said...", since i don't really count myself an angel lol! i searched for that verse and found it.
I wrote the reference across the picture of the Bible.
Luke 2:10.
I went to town today and forgot about my journal for the most part, and almost bought another Bible, the English Standaard Version (the one used in SBS) in town, but didn't have enough money. i had also wanted to buy another swahili Bible or two if i'd found i had enough money for it, but as you know... i'm nearly broke!
so, i'd let it go until i'd gotten back and Edward was in the kitchen tonight after dinner when i took my plate and fork in, to wash them. as i washed next to him, he asked me if i had any other Bibles. i told him i didn't but i could get them. I'm sure God will provide the money for them. he told me there are 14 people in Masailand who need Bibles and he's already got 8 of them. I told him this is exactly what i'd hoped would happen after giving him those Bibles, that i'd learn more and more about getting Bibles to people. he was impressed and very pleased with that reaction. i was pumped after this reminder from God. so i just went straight to the dorm, and told several of my brothers in there that we need 6 Swahili Bibles by Thursday. they said they'd be glad to help pay. Thank God! they asked the price and stuff and all that jazz, and then i headed out, after finding the bag that Tyris had carried today, which had my Bible in it, and headed across the courtyard for the classroom, and i started looking around the room to see how many Bibles there were among us. i saw my copy of "The Message" sitting on my desk, near Derek's spot.
"hmm, Derek wanted this, might as well give it to him now." so i pulled out that bookmark the Kennedys sent us from the Chinese underground Church, wanting to put it into my NLT and left the Bible in Derek's place. as i glanced at the book mark yet again, i recognized the picture of the angel speaking to the shepherds from that story at the beginning of Luke. i suddenly remembered, for the first time since i'd written that reference, what i'd been thinking about this morning.
i was overwhelmed with curiosity about the actual verse in Luke that occuppied the bookmark...
five minutes later i was on google, searched "Chinese Bible", clicked on the first link and skipped to Luke 2.10, and compared the images with those of the bookmark. they matched letter-for-letter! the interesting thing was that they had left out the first part of the verse, saying "the Angel said...", just as i'd been thinking about it!
HOLY CRAP!!!!! i can't think it's anything less than God... no coincidence could ever be this great! i had no reason to think of those words this morning, save for that they were the first words to enter my head as i tried to think of a message for the persecuted Church.
Mom, Dad, ...do you believe it?!
I truly believe God had confirmed it now. first through Munishi. then through Edward. and now even through another scripture!
Praise God! please do Praise God! i really can't think of anything else to do!
frankly, i'm gonna go find out how we can scrape together enough money to buy 6 Bibles... the smallest, cheapest ones i know of are 7,000 each. that means (shoot, maybe i shoulda stayed in my math class!) .... um.... er.... um.... 42, 000 shillings (thank you Andrea and Jeff, sitting right across from me in the computer room!)
God will provide! i have no doubt in my mind! i'm gonna go pray now! 6 people need Bibles by thursday... and i only have 1,500 Tsh! time to pray, Mom and Dad!
I love you all! have a wonderful day! write me back about this when you get the chance! and of course, you're still in my prayers!
Amen!
-asher
...you're never going to believe this!
I should have first recognized the confirmation as i was speaking with Munishi about the Bibles for Edward and his family. As soon as i mentioned them to him, he jumped at the chance to help me find a need to fill. It wasn't long before he'd helped me once and had offered his help for the future.
this story all tied itself together today!
i am CERTAIN this is God's next step for me!
This morning, as i was working on my journal, i was finding clippings from my magazines to illustrate the topic of last sunday's service. Vera, our temp. base leader, whom i've already mentioned in several places, preached from Psalm 90.10-12, about "living a life of impact." as i gathered thoughts to fill that page in my journal, i began to relate it to my possible calling. i wanted to create a picture, a collage of several small pictures illustrating my role in the world. i took a small picture of a globe, stuck it onto a stretch of mountainous road from a Honda ad in WIRED, and put a running, jumping man's sillhouette at the other end of the road. the only thing missing was a picture of a Bible. i surprisingly couldn't find a single picture of a Bible in the whole of the Relevant magazine, sadly lol! but i remembered my friend Joyce's little tract she'd been clipping things out of. i went to her just in time and cut out the last little picture of the Bible in the whole tract. it was open and the pages looked more-or-less blank, so i went ahead and decided to write something on the pages. a verse that would fit really well. the first thing that popped into my head was the story in Luke where the Angel says "i bring you great news of great joy" or something like it. all i really wanted was the part that was the angel's message, not the part saying "the angel said...", since i don't really count myself an angel lol! i searched for that verse and found it.
I wrote the reference across the picture of the Bible.
Luke 2:10.
I went to town today and forgot about my journal for the most part, and almost bought another Bible, the English Standaard Version (the one used in SBS) in town, but didn't have enough money. i had also wanted to buy another swahili Bible or two if i'd found i had enough money for it, but as you know... i'm nearly broke!
so, i'd let it go until i'd gotten back and Edward was in the kitchen tonight after dinner when i took my plate and fork in, to wash them. as i washed next to him, he asked me if i had any other Bibles. i told him i didn't but i could get them. I'm sure God will provide the money for them. he told me there are 14 people in Masailand who need Bibles and he's already got 8 of them. I told him this is exactly what i'd hoped would happen after giving him those Bibles, that i'd learn more and more about getting Bibles to people. he was impressed and very pleased with that reaction. i was pumped after this reminder from God. so i just went straight to the dorm, and told several of my brothers in there that we need 6 Swahili Bibles by Thursday. they said they'd be glad to help pay. Thank God! they asked the price and stuff and all that jazz, and then i headed out, after finding the bag that Tyris had carried today, which had my Bible in it, and headed across the courtyard for the classroom, and i started looking around the room to see how many Bibles there were among us. i saw my copy of "The Message" sitting on my desk, near Derek's spot.
"hmm, Derek wanted this, might as well give it to him now." so i pulled out that bookmark the Kennedys sent us from the Chinese underground Church, wanting to put it into my NLT and left the Bible in Derek's place. as i glanced at the book mark yet again, i recognized the picture of the angel speaking to the shepherds from that story at the beginning of Luke. i suddenly remembered, for the first time since i'd written that reference, what i'd been thinking about this morning.
i was overwhelmed with curiosity about the actual verse in Luke that occuppied the bookmark...
five minutes later i was on google, searched "Chinese Bible", clicked on the first link and skipped to Luke 2.10, and compared the images with those of the bookmark. they matched letter-for-letter! the interesting thing was that they had left out the first part of the verse, saying "the Angel said...", just as i'd been thinking about it!
HOLY CRAP!!!!! i can't think it's anything less than God... no coincidence could ever be this great! i had no reason to think of those words this morning, save for that they were the first words to enter my head as i tried to think of a message for the persecuted Church.
Mom, Dad, ...do you believe it?!
I truly believe God had confirmed it now. first through Munishi. then through Edward. and now even through another scripture!
Praise God! please do Praise God! i really can't think of anything else to do!
frankly, i'm gonna go find out how we can scrape together enough money to buy 6 Bibles... the smallest, cheapest ones i know of are 7,000 each. that means (shoot, maybe i shoulda stayed in my math class!) .... um.... er.... um.... 42, 000 shillings (thank you Andrea and Jeff, sitting right across from me in the computer room!)
God will provide! i have no doubt in my mind! i'm gonna go pray now! 6 people need Bibles by thursday... and i only have 1,500 Tsh! time to pray, Mom and Dad!
I love you all! have a wonderful day! write me back about this when you get the chance! and of course, you're still in my prayers!
Amen!
-asher
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
Thank you, my dear sister!
To be honest, i was hoping, as i surfed to this blog, to find that you had written, and indeed God has blessed me with your words, sister! thank you so much for your prayers!
i confess that at this point there's been little of political interest to photograph. Tanzania's so safe and unvolitile in many places that there's almost no need whatsoever to be aware.
However, apparently due to a very low salary (about $50 USD a month) the police here run on illegal bribes from foreign Mzungus like myself. so far, i've not even met the eyes of an officer here, much less been of any interest to them, but twice in the past couple weeks i've gone into town wearing two knives, and on those two trips, i found myself standing just a couple meters from a semi-automatic and its uniform-clad owner. strange how weapons seem drawn to each other. i think i'll stop carrying those knives outside the base. i really had no reason to.
i was pick-pocketed two weeks ago, and perhaps that would have been reason to want the knife still, but even in retrospect (as i'd had my bigger black knife on me that day), i'm sure i'd never have drawn it on anyone. to be quite honest, i've already forgiven the man who took my phone. i'm almost sure i know exactly who it was, and when it happened. by God's grace, he didn't manage to take the letter to my brother i had folded up in that very same pocket!
i was angry at first, naturally, as i realized about two minutes after the slight tussle with the man at the dala-dala station in the center of Arusha, that it was missing. but my very next thought was simply that i was praying they wouldn't harrass the people in my phone book. i called it from my friend's phone the next day and found that my SIM card had already been removed. it's not likely they'll ever be harrassing my loved ones!
i bought a new phone within about an hour, half the price of the one i'd lost, and i only felt stupid when i realized how much cheaper phones generally ran--outside of the supermarket i'd gotten my first Nokia at.
as a westerner who's nearly been handed everything in life, and had so little taken away, i feel it is by God's grace that that experience has only drawn my closer to the city of Arusha, and not pushed me away! As i think about it more and more, i realize my fate is intertwined with that of the whole continent of Africa. if Africa dies, i die. if Africa prospers, i will be happy. if Africa flounders, so will i. but i believe Africa is on the up.
part 2:
i also wanted to briefly mention something about the last church service i attended, two days ago...
during the worship session that opened the service (which was lead by Natasha, Mary, and Johan, from our DTS and leadership) i felt God speaking to me in a way i can't really describe. and honestly, i feel he's illuminated the task before me. or at least the direction he wants me to go in, for now. with that said, i am leaving the rest to your imagination and prayer. i've barely scratched the surface, but i'm waiting for God's guidance in the details, so for now they will remain between me and God, and two other men whom i've sworn to secrecy.
just please pray. thank you.
on a final note, there is one thing i see in my future with nearly absolute clarity.
Beginning in early February 2008, here at this very base in Arusha, is a School of Biblical Studies (SBS). it starts not more than two weeks after our DTS comes to a close, and frankly, i think God is telling me to stick around for that. it's another nine months of the most intensive study i think i'll ever take part in. i'll read every book of the Bible FIVE times in 9 months, breaking it down in nearly every separate book of the Bible to two-paragraph sections, and finding meaning and cultural significance in every word written in it! (except that apparently we'll only be doing a selection of Psalms since there are so many!) I don't expect to return to the States any time soon, and i know this may really hurt some of you, brothers and sisters.
so, i ask for your prayers on this as well.
and finally, i bid you all a wonderful night! i believe my time's almost up! i rarely get much time on the internet here... power tends to go out for several hours at a time, a couple times each day and night! so even when i have the time, i do not necessarily have the means. tonight has been a blessing! and i am so glad to give you all a fuller report on things here! many who read my blog will in some way receive word from my parents with a break-down of my daily routine. as for my sister, Aisha, well, i know you'll find a way to get into contact with me if i don't reach you first!
Have a blessed night!
the Peace of the Lord be with you. Amen.
-Archer (Motochi)
i confess that at this point there's been little of political interest to photograph. Tanzania's so safe and unvolitile in many places that there's almost no need whatsoever to be aware.
However, apparently due to a very low salary (about $50 USD a month) the police here run on illegal bribes from foreign Mzungus like myself. so far, i've not even met the eyes of an officer here, much less been of any interest to them, but twice in the past couple weeks i've gone into town wearing two knives, and on those two trips, i found myself standing just a couple meters from a semi-automatic and its uniform-clad owner. strange how weapons seem drawn to each other. i think i'll stop carrying those knives outside the base. i really had no reason to.
i was pick-pocketed two weeks ago, and perhaps that would have been reason to want the knife still, but even in retrospect (as i'd had my bigger black knife on me that day), i'm sure i'd never have drawn it on anyone. to be quite honest, i've already forgiven the man who took my phone. i'm almost sure i know exactly who it was, and when it happened. by God's grace, he didn't manage to take the letter to my brother i had folded up in that very same pocket!
i was angry at first, naturally, as i realized about two minutes after the slight tussle with the man at the dala-dala station in the center of Arusha, that it was missing. but my very next thought was simply that i was praying they wouldn't harrass the people in my phone book. i called it from my friend's phone the next day and found that my SIM card had already been removed. it's not likely they'll ever be harrassing my loved ones!
i bought a new phone within about an hour, half the price of the one i'd lost, and i only felt stupid when i realized how much cheaper phones generally ran--outside of the supermarket i'd gotten my first Nokia at.
as a westerner who's nearly been handed everything in life, and had so little taken away, i feel it is by God's grace that that experience has only drawn my closer to the city of Arusha, and not pushed me away! As i think about it more and more, i realize my fate is intertwined with that of the whole continent of Africa. if Africa dies, i die. if Africa prospers, i will be happy. if Africa flounders, so will i. but i believe Africa is on the up.
part 2:
i also wanted to briefly mention something about the last church service i attended, two days ago...
during the worship session that opened the service (which was lead by Natasha, Mary, and Johan, from our DTS and leadership) i felt God speaking to me in a way i can't really describe. and honestly, i feel he's illuminated the task before me. or at least the direction he wants me to go in, for now. with that said, i am leaving the rest to your imagination and prayer. i've barely scratched the surface, but i'm waiting for God's guidance in the details, so for now they will remain between me and God, and two other men whom i've sworn to secrecy.
just please pray. thank you.
on a final note, there is one thing i see in my future with nearly absolute clarity.
Beginning in early February 2008, here at this very base in Arusha, is a School of Biblical Studies (SBS). it starts not more than two weeks after our DTS comes to a close, and frankly, i think God is telling me to stick around for that. it's another nine months of the most intensive study i think i'll ever take part in. i'll read every book of the Bible FIVE times in 9 months, breaking it down in nearly every separate book of the Bible to two-paragraph sections, and finding meaning and cultural significance in every word written in it! (except that apparently we'll only be doing a selection of Psalms since there are so many!) I don't expect to return to the States any time soon, and i know this may really hurt some of you, brothers and sisters.
so, i ask for your prayers on this as well.
and finally, i bid you all a wonderful night! i believe my time's almost up! i rarely get much time on the internet here... power tends to go out for several hours at a time, a couple times each day and night! so even when i have the time, i do not necessarily have the means. tonight has been a blessing! and i am so glad to give you all a fuller report on things here! many who read my blog will in some way receive word from my parents with a break-down of my daily routine. as for my sister, Aisha, well, i know you'll find a way to get into contact with me if i don't reach you first!
Have a blessed night!
the Peace of the Lord be with you. Amen.
-Archer (Motochi)
Sunday, September 16, 2007
in Africa!
i'm in Africa, and i haven't blogged in 2 weeks! but here's a quick one to let everyone know im here and alive and well and loving Africa so much! i don't know when i'll get a chance to post again, but here's just to let you know i'd love to have some prayer! won't really tell you what for, but God will tell you if you seek him, especially in intercession! the team here is great and i already have a beautiful and strong connection with several people! God is good! Bwana Asifiwe!
by the way.... i feel like God may be asking me to stay here for a long time, so be praying for me in that! as it stands right now... i dont have any desire to return to the states!
my friend Patrick here has given me an African name, so that i may become as African as possible for a white boy!
i am now called Motoche! (in Swahili it means "Light"!)
i'm going to bed now! Bless you all!
Peace of Christ be with you, brothers and sisters!
Osicu mwema wada na waka!
by the way.... i feel like God may be asking me to stay here for a long time, so be praying for me in that! as it stands right now... i dont have any desire to return to the states!
my friend Patrick here has given me an African name, so that i may become as African as possible for a white boy!
i am now called Motoche! (in Swahili it means "Light"!)
i'm going to bed now! Bless you all!
Peace of Christ be with you, brothers and sisters!
Osicu mwema wada na waka!
Sunday, September 2, 2007
"Missionary Consecration" -before
It is Sunday, September 2nd, 2007. On Friday, September 7th, 2007, in the mid-morning, i will begin a day's worth of flights that will carry me from my last breaths in this country for the rest of this year.
It is 10.24 am. in about an hour, i'm going to be prayed over and "consecrated" at the church i attend in Lafayette, Indiana.
I am going to Africa, by God's grace and what is hopefully God's will.
I have gone through Hell in order to serve Heaven. emotionally. spiritually. mentally. financially. and even moreso emotionally.
but i am days away from slipping off my sandals and bowing to God to kiss the African sand in Arusha, Tanzania. whether or not i literally do all that, i'm not sure i'll have the guts to become a public spectacle! so, perhaps, i'll stick to just looking up and allowing God to take my breath away, as i step out of the airport, visa in hand.
i am setting out on a journey i have been living my whole life for, and one that will establish my temporary part in God's plan. i pray that more of my life is unravelled as i explore God and myself, and my brothers and sisters in Arusha.
i believe God will use this period in my life to draw me completely to him, so that i may be wholy his.
i believe he's already started that.
i am going to be ripped apart.
i am going to be torn.
i am going to be humbled, i pray.
i am going to be nothing but God's.
"When Christ calls a man, he bids him, come and die." -Bonhoeffer.
"He must become greater, i must become less." -John 3.30
i have always accepted the former, and never really understood the latter. but they coincide so much. this is where i must be fully accepting of God's will.
frankly, if he tells me that he wants me to stay on in Arusha, with YWAM, or to move somewhere else within Africa, i will not argue, and i will go ahead and do so. i aim to do as God asks. my Adonai, my King. it is he whom i must know.
when i learn the character of Christ, i will learn in whole, what God would have me do.
therefore, brothers and sisters. i become less. i tear down myself and i leave this country. possibly never to come back, if it is God's will.
pray for me. pray with me. i will pray for you. i will pray with you.
Peace of the Lord be with you all. PAX DOMINI.
amen.
It is 10.24 am. in about an hour, i'm going to be prayed over and "consecrated" at the church i attend in Lafayette, Indiana.
I am going to Africa, by God's grace and what is hopefully God's will.
I have gone through Hell in order to serve Heaven. emotionally. spiritually. mentally. financially. and even moreso emotionally.
but i am days away from slipping off my sandals and bowing to God to kiss the African sand in Arusha, Tanzania. whether or not i literally do all that, i'm not sure i'll have the guts to become a public spectacle! so, perhaps, i'll stick to just looking up and allowing God to take my breath away, as i step out of the airport, visa in hand.
i am setting out on a journey i have been living my whole life for, and one that will establish my temporary part in God's plan. i pray that more of my life is unravelled as i explore God and myself, and my brothers and sisters in Arusha.
i believe God will use this period in my life to draw me completely to him, so that i may be wholy his.
i believe he's already started that.
i am going to be ripped apart.
i am going to be torn.
i am going to be humbled, i pray.
i am going to be nothing but God's.
"When Christ calls a man, he bids him, come and die." -Bonhoeffer.
"He must become greater, i must become less." -John 3.30
i have always accepted the former, and never really understood the latter. but they coincide so much. this is where i must be fully accepting of God's will.
frankly, if he tells me that he wants me to stay on in Arusha, with YWAM, or to move somewhere else within Africa, i will not argue, and i will go ahead and do so. i aim to do as God asks. my Adonai, my King. it is he whom i must know.
when i learn the character of Christ, i will learn in whole, what God would have me do.
therefore, brothers and sisters. i become less. i tear down myself and i leave this country. possibly never to come back, if it is God's will.
pray for me. pray with me. i will pray for you. i will pray with you.
Peace of the Lord be with you all. PAX DOMINI.
amen.
Friday, August 17, 2007
the monster who got devoured by community
"i can't believe you can be so against what you once stood for!"
that's what i almost said to him.
my brother, Micah.
we were having a rather casual argument, as we sometimes do. i was trying to tell him why movements are so great, why men and women like Yoko Ono and Dr. King and Bono (sorta) and Lennon all give themselves to causes for a reason.
i tried to tell him that all change is made by small groups of people that grow into something large and influential enough. i reminded him of Amnesty International, of which i am a member. started by a single British professor in 1961, and has grown to nearly 2 million members whose letters have freed thousands of prisoners and victims and alleviated tensions and injustice all around the world in only 40 years.
he looked back at me with a smug look on his face that i couldn't crack. i just don't get how my brother, the boy with the cross branded on his left arm, and the Che Guevera clock (which is now no longer a clock so much as a small, glass poster, and is now also mine)
, could suddenly become somebody who's clearly so hopeless, with no faith in humanity, or even in humans. he's got no faith in anything, save Zarathustra's bold story of "making it on his own". he claims Jesus did it too, in his coy attempt to throw my own words back on me. but with his foot sticking plainly out of his mouth, i reminded him that forty days of fasting alone in the desert hardly counts as being alone. oh, and then i told him about the 12 disciples who were with him nearly everywhere he went.
he tried to tell me that since Zarathustra made it, anyone who wasn't weak could do it. he apparently had forgotten for the moment that good ole' Z is a fictional character. actually, i think that's when he tried to segway to Jesus. to him, Jesus is just as fictional, sometimes.
sometimes.
...BUT this isn't what i meant to get side-tracked by.
instead, i meant to tell you about another boy who had an american flag hanging proudly in his room, draped across his mirror with a chalky cross drawn on it. this boy believed with all his heart that it was america's sacred duty to follow George W. into battle and storm into Iraq in 02. he would have actually voted for W. the second time around, had he been old enough. this boy sickens me far more than Micah ever will. this boy believed in intolerance as the only way to change things for the better. this boy was anti-gay marriage and pro-war. (i.e. anti-love, and pro-hate) he was a thoroughbred american who wished he could've said the pledge of allegiance twice daily at school, rather than only on mondays in 8th grade.
this boy was going to join the navy, or the marines or something and fight for his country. he had a buzz cut already and everything about him stank of proud-to-be-an-american in the most disgusting form. it wasn't even flattering to the remaining good elements of the U.S.
this boy was frankly a self-righteous prick just like the best of them. could never recognize flaws in himself. believed he was always right. believed that america was supposed to be an all-christian nation. and that everyone who didn't believe what he did had to be converted, and he thought them more like scalps dangling from his belt, than actual souls, actually aching people. there was no love in this boy.
he was a monster.
i don't have that mirror in my room anymore. the american flag lies half-burnt in a black garbage bag somewhere in a dump.
i protested the "Bush Regime" on October 5, 2007 and felt almost more at home there, than i do half the time in church. it's funny how preotestors seem to realize they can do nothing on their own, and we sort of band together, as we all did that night to share a bowl of free soup, brought to us by an organization supporting the march, called "Food Not Bombs", i think. as a sister of mine shared a cigarette with a brother of mine, and both braced their backs against the cold downtown wind, i waited my turn for a used spoon, in order to eat half a cup of warm veggie soup in chicken broth.
after the march and everything, we wrapped up with a "die-in", which was by far, one of the most dramatic and patriotic experiences i've ever witnessed. watching video footgae from it later, i was shocked to find an elderly man in a wheel-chair shifting his weight and lowering himself to the chilled black-top of E. 9th street in the heart of Cleveland. during rush-hour.
riding the bus home that night with Micah, as the dim lights kicked in overhead in the fading autumn sun, i read from a communist newspaper about the similarities between Bush's and Hitler's. it was kinda freaky. as a middle-aged man walked past me, on his way out the front door of the 9X four-wheeled community driving machine, he looked down and complimented me on the white bandana around my knee with the word 'COEXIST' scrawled in dark permanent marker. the Islam crescent was the 'C', the Jewish Star of David was the 'X', and the Christian cross was the 'T'.
that bandana is now sewn onto a small black jacket i bought for the purpose of shaking things up and lacing it with lyrics and sayings and emblems of what i stand for. i named her Ruth. i'm wearing her now, for the first time since probably March this year.
she's beautiful, and reminds me of the kind of communion that comes from a strong, united purpose. i miss that union.
i'm hoping i'll find that soon, sometime in the coming couple of years.
anyone wanna go see that movie, "Across The Universe" with me sometime?
Love and Peace or Else.
-Archer
that's what i almost said to him.
my brother, Micah.
we were having a rather casual argument, as we sometimes do. i was trying to tell him why movements are so great, why men and women like Yoko Ono and Dr. King and Bono (sorta) and Lennon all give themselves to causes for a reason.
i tried to tell him that all change is made by small groups of people that grow into something large and influential enough. i reminded him of Amnesty International, of which i am a member. started by a single British professor in 1961, and has grown to nearly 2 million members whose letters have freed thousands of prisoners and victims and alleviated tensions and injustice all around the world in only 40 years.
he looked back at me with a smug look on his face that i couldn't crack. i just don't get how my brother, the boy with the cross branded on his left arm, and the Che Guevera clock (which is now no longer a clock so much as a small, glass poster, and is now also mine)
, could suddenly become somebody who's clearly so hopeless, with no faith in humanity, or even in humans. he's got no faith in anything, save Zarathustra's bold story of "making it on his own". he claims Jesus did it too, in his coy attempt to throw my own words back on me. but with his foot sticking plainly out of his mouth, i reminded him that forty days of fasting alone in the desert hardly counts as being alone. oh, and then i told him about the 12 disciples who were with him nearly everywhere he went.he tried to tell me that since Zarathustra made it, anyone who wasn't weak could do it. he apparently had forgotten for the moment that good ole' Z is a fictional character. actually, i think that's when he tried to segway to Jesus. to him, Jesus is just as fictional, sometimes.
sometimes.
...BUT this isn't what i meant to get side-tracked by.
instead, i meant to tell you about another boy who had an american flag hanging proudly in his room, draped across his mirror with a chalky cross drawn on it. this boy believed with all his heart that it was america's sacred duty to follow George W. into battle and storm into Iraq in 02. he would have actually voted for W. the second time around, had he been old enough. this boy sickens me far more than Micah ever will. this boy believed in intolerance as the only way to change things for the better. this boy was anti-gay marriage and pro-war. (i.e. anti-love, and pro-hate) he was a thoroughbred american who wished he could've said the pledge of allegiance twice daily at school, rather than only on mondays in 8th grade.
this boy was going to join the navy, or the marines or something and fight for his country. he had a buzz cut already and everything about him stank of proud-to-be-an-american in the most disgusting form. it wasn't even flattering to the remaining good elements of the U.S.
this boy was frankly a self-righteous prick just like the best of them. could never recognize flaws in himself. believed he was always right. believed that america was supposed to be an all-christian nation. and that everyone who didn't believe what he did had to be converted, and he thought them more like scalps dangling from his belt, than actual souls, actually aching people. there was no love in this boy.
he was a monster.
i don't have that mirror in my room anymore. the american flag lies half-burnt in a black garbage bag somewhere in a dump.
i protested the "Bush Regime" on October 5, 2007 and felt almost more at home there, than i do half the time in church. it's funny how preotestors seem to realize they can do nothing on their own, and we sort of band together, as we all did that night to share a bowl of free soup, brought to us by an organization supporting the march, called "Food Not Bombs", i think. as a sister of mine shared a cigarette with a brother of mine, and both braced their backs against the cold downtown wind, i waited my turn for a used spoon, in order to eat half a cup of warm veggie soup in chicken broth.
after the march and everything, we wrapped up with a "die-in", which was by far, one of the most dramatic and patriotic experiences i've ever witnessed. watching video footgae from it later, i was shocked to find an elderly man in a wheel-chair shifting his weight and lowering himself to the chilled black-top of E. 9th street in the heart of Cleveland. during rush-hour.
riding the bus home that night with Micah, as the dim lights kicked in overhead in the fading autumn sun, i read from a communist newspaper about the similarities between Bush's and Hitler's. it was kinda freaky. as a middle-aged man walked past me, on his way out the front door of the 9X four-wheeled community driving machine, he looked down and complimented me on the white bandana around my knee with the word 'COEXIST' scrawled in dark permanent marker. the Islam crescent was the 'C', the Jewish Star of David was the 'X', and the Christian cross was the 'T'.
that bandana is now sewn onto a small black jacket i bought for the purpose of shaking things up and lacing it with lyrics and sayings and emblems of what i stand for. i named her Ruth. i'm wearing her now, for the first time since probably March this year.
she's beautiful, and reminds me of the kind of communion that comes from a strong, united purpose. i miss that union.
i'm hoping i'll find that soon, sometime in the coming couple of years.
anyone wanna go see that movie, "Across The Universe" with me sometime?
Love and Peace or Else.
-Archer
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
UND3RGR0UND
I have been reading Brother Andrew's story, called 'God's Smuggler'.
he writes of the years he spent serving the Undergound Church behind the Iron Curtain.
he writes of the journeys he has made in times of extreme danger, surviving merely on extreme faith.
he writes of bringing Bibles to pastors in Russia who did not even have their own.
he writes of Bibles in such an important way that brings the Holy Bible such a new meaning to me.
i can no longer take my Bible for granted, knowing how rare it could be to find even one in countries where it is forbidden.
i am very very thankful for my Bible.
i have also realized that wherever there is something fake (like a state-sponsored church), then there is always a genuine underground (like the underground church).
i choose the underground, because i want what is real.
i choose the underground, because if i am arrested, it will be for something important.
Peace and Unrest be with you all, my brothers and sisters.
-Archer
he writes of the years he spent serving the Undergound Church behind the Iron Curtain.
he writes of the journeys he has made in times of extreme danger, surviving merely on extreme faith.
he writes of bringing Bibles to pastors in Russia who did not even have their own.
he writes of Bibles in such an important way that brings the Holy Bible such a new meaning to me.
i can no longer take my Bible for granted, knowing how rare it could be to find even one in countries where it is forbidden.
i am very very thankful for my Bible.
i have also realized that wherever there is something fake (like a state-sponsored church), then there is always a genuine underground (like the underground church).
i choose the underground, because i want what is real.i choose the underground, because if i am arrested, it will be for something important.
Peace and Unrest be with you all, my brothers and sisters.
-Archer
Sunday, July 22, 2007
veritas.
i am turning to the arms of a woman whom i have always trusted in my pursuit of veritas. my deepest feelings and thoughts will be in a journal to her, so perhaps it may be a spell until my next entry here.
just pray for me. my pursuits of truth and love and faith--with works--and beauty... they have thus far failed. the Bible is barely exciting at this point. sadly. i need to read the gospels and that will undoubtedly help me. i just need to meet with Jesus again, and lay down arms (rather than take them up) alongside my Lord. in his companionship i will find my wholeness and a holiness untaintable.
pray for me, sisters and brothers.
pray for Em and I,
pray for Em,
pray for YWAM.
amen.
just pray for me. my pursuits of truth and love and faith--with works--and beauty... they have thus far failed. the Bible is barely exciting at this point. sadly. i need to read the gospels and that will undoubtedly help me. i just need to meet with Jesus again, and lay down arms (rather than take them up) alongside my Lord. in his companionship i will find my wholeness and a holiness untaintable.
pray for me, sisters and brothers.
pray for Em and I,
pray for Em,
pray for YWAM.
amen.
Monday, June 18, 2007
just what i was asking for!
Ladies and Gentlemen,
i gave it all to God and asked for him to guide my movements. i was totally ready to give up everything for him and go after him in a way i saw as his will... and the night before the jump, my best friend and brother Alex gives me a call and after saying hello, asks, "hey... are you still looking for a way to get to Africa?"
AFH = Abstinence, Fidelity, Honor.
one of his friends, whom i've met, his mom is starting a grass-roots organization that is bent on serving the poorest of the poor in Africa with education about HIV/AIDS. they are called AFH. It's been in the workings for about a year now, he said. she's been to Africa two or three times, and is looking for passionate people to go with her to Africa one more time.
it is difficult to figure all of this out, as it includes Emily. for the longest time, we felt God calling us to be together (at least for now). as you can guess, it is difficult now to imagine how in the world we're still gonna have each other in this new challenge.
pray for us. before i fell in love with her, she was my best friend. and she still is, and now that this has hit her expectations harder than mine, i feel inadequate to help her. i pray the person with the right words can reach out to you now, my Treasure!
God, you know my heart, you know Em's, you know what we want and what we need and that we want to join the ranks of the "new friars" and be your Church and your example in all the world's worst settings. please keep us from failing you and dismissing our calling. amen.
Today is still likely going to drastically change my future. This is one of the first times in a long time i've actually been obedient enough to give it all up to God and let him direct me. grabbing my attention in the last hours of preparation for one step. now i've got to learn how to take this new step that's been offered.
Saturday, June 9, 2007
the straps of my sandals are my home. whenever i am wearing them... i know God has me exactly where he wants me..
i don't know much about my future... i barely know my next step... i pray for incredible courage as i lift my feet to plant them in the straps of my sandals. once they are there and i take the next step, my fears will susbide and i will truly depend on you, my beloved and beautiful Adonai!
I pray that you will never leave me, although i already know that you have never even allowed an inkling of such a thought to occur to you.
I will depend on you and some of my brothers and sisters and your work through them to survive the rest of my life, my God, my King!
I will stand in your presence every moment of my life... i will bow at your feet and thank you and praise you for everyone you send my way.
i will thank you every waking moment for the beautiful and upright woman you have blessed me with as a companion. we will strive on, seeking you every morning.
i love my sandals, God, i love that once i put them on, i will have everything in the world. the clothes on my back and the bread on my table, or the water running between my fingers... God you will provide. whether i sleep under the stars or a roof made of drywall and plumbing, or plaster, or tin sheeting.... God i will ever be under your wings.
When i come home to you, leaving this earth, i will be most thankful, and i will really truly understand the depths of your love...
but i know that from the moment i put my sandals on, i will be with you in ALL that i do... God let your piller of fire-- your shakainah-- be ever present. and be unto everyone i know, everyone i encounter, everyone i love, exactly what you are to me-- my strength, my hope, my courage, and most importantly, your are simply my plan, God.
i love you, Adonai, and i thank you with every fiber of my being and every strand of my soul...
Amen.
Thursday, May 31, 2007
nothing really all that sentimental... but kind of...
It's been over a week since i last wrote here, and for no apparent reason i am going to blog again, even though there's not much i can really think of passing on through here.
i am slowly strengthening my faith, and reading (very slowly and intermittently) the books of Job, Hosea, Isaiah, Proverbs, and i'm trying to start the book of Hebrews very soon.
Emily came over two days ago and our first "date" consisted of a long walk in the metroparks, stopping to rest on a log. we laid down, head to head, along the length of the fallen tree. i think i was stupid to lay down as i did, my head touching hers, as all the blood rushed to my head. she was the smart one who laid down so her head would be the upper-most part of her body! :) for me, it was the lower-most part of my body. i almost fainted when i tried to stand up!
the view from atop the log was beautiful... the sun was high and those little white fuzzies drifted through the trees like little angels, all moving in one direction with a wind i could not even detect. but still they sojourned steadily. except for that one really low-flying one that somehow caught my in the mouth. you know how that feels like you just bit the top of a dying dandelion. lots of spitting and flailing on my part after that :)
as we drove back home (just as we did on the way out to the park) we blasted some awesome music from a worship mix i'd made for her! it was stellar! some Superchic[k], some Aaron Shust, some Jimmy Needham, some Lost and Found... we've decided to go to an Acquire The Fire event together ASAP!!! which means that if i get to go to YWAM in Tanzania in September, my next shot at a nearby ATF is the late february tour date in Grand Rapids, MI! oh well. it'll be worth the wait!
there's something about the worship at ATF that's almost impossible to recreate anywhere else.... there's a nostalgic quality to it. maybe just because ATF and Global Expeditions are so responsible for who i am now... it rocks!
we came back to my house in time for dinner consisting of Papa Johns pizza and a scary movie haha!
one more thing and then i'll shut up for a while:
on Sunday night i met her parents more formally and went thru about the most rigorous "do you get to court my daughter?" session i'd ever been through (i actually enjoyed it!) i got caught up when they asked me about Covenant theology since it's pretty much what i've been raised in, so i don't really know too much of what's different, but yeah! the coolest thing was that her father asked me if there was any piece of scripture that really spoke to me recently.
and i actually had just stumbled into one the weekend before:
"Jesus sat down near the collection box in the Temple and watched as the crowds dropped in their money. Many rich people put in large amounts. Then a poor widow came and dropped in two small coins.
Jesus called his disciples to him and said, 'I tell you the truth, this poor widow has given more than all the others who are making contributions. For they gave a tiny part of their surplus, but she, poor as she is, has given everything she had to live on.'" -Mark 13.41-44
i'm drawn to it so much because it represents my struggle in this life. i have very little to give, especially financially, but i am willing to give all i've got to live on. God will provide.
(her dad was impressed ;p )
i think i passed the inspection!
i am slowly strengthening my faith, and reading (very slowly and intermittently) the books of Job, Hosea, Isaiah, Proverbs, and i'm trying to start the book of Hebrews very soon.
Emily came over two days ago and our first "date" consisted of a long walk in the metroparks, stopping to rest on a log. we laid down, head to head, along the length of the fallen tree. i think i was stupid to lay down as i did, my head touching hers, as all the blood rushed to my head. she was the smart one who laid down so her head would be the upper-most part of her body! :) for me, it was the lower-most part of my body. i almost fainted when i tried to stand up!
the view from atop the log was beautiful... the sun was high and those little white fuzzies drifted through the trees like little angels, all moving in one direction with a wind i could not even detect. but still they sojourned steadily. except for that one really low-flying one that somehow caught my in the mouth. you know how that feels like you just bit the top of a dying dandelion. lots of spitting and flailing on my part after that :)
as we drove back home (just as we did on the way out to the park) we blasted some awesome music from a worship mix i'd made for her! it was stellar! some Superchic[k], some Aaron Shust, some Jimmy Needham, some Lost and Found... we've decided to go to an Acquire The Fire event together ASAP!!! which means that if i get to go to YWAM in Tanzania in September, my next shot at a nearby ATF is the late february tour date in Grand Rapids, MI! oh well. it'll be worth the wait!
there's something about the worship at ATF that's almost impossible to recreate anywhere else.... there's a nostalgic quality to it. maybe just because ATF and Global Expeditions are so responsible for who i am now... it rocks!
we came back to my house in time for dinner consisting of Papa Johns pizza and a scary movie haha!
one more thing and then i'll shut up for a while:
on Sunday night i met her parents more formally and went thru about the most rigorous "do you get to court my daughter?" session i'd ever been through (i actually enjoyed it!) i got caught up when they asked me about Covenant theology since it's pretty much what i've been raised in, so i don't really know too much of what's different, but yeah! the coolest thing was that her father asked me if there was any piece of scripture that really spoke to me recently.
and i actually had just stumbled into one the weekend before:
"Jesus sat down near the collection box in the Temple and watched as the crowds dropped in their money. Many rich people put in large amounts. Then a poor widow came and dropped in two small coins.
Jesus called his disciples to him and said, 'I tell you the truth, this poor widow has given more than all the others who are making contributions. For they gave a tiny part of their surplus, but she, poor as she is, has given everything she had to live on.'" -Mark 13.41-44
i'm drawn to it so much because it represents my struggle in this life. i have very little to give, especially financially, but i am willing to give all i've got to live on. God will provide.
(her dad was impressed ;p )
i think i passed the inspection!
Saturday, May 19, 2007
"Right Here!"
listening to Out Of Eden's song "Soldiers" right now in a hotel in Indiana on vacation...
Emily's myspace page has a list of some of the sweetest frickin songs.... the problem is how frequently she changes them! :)
So, listening to their sweet, strong voices as they call on a new generation to rise up...
"all my people in the place
lookin good with style an' grace
but here's my question-listen clear-
where my soldiers at? right here!"
I guess i best be on my way... start risin up and callin out... makin sure i'm ready for a fight!
I'm coming into a very strong relationship with Adonai, and Emily is largely the one i must thank.
my dad's even noticed how much stronger my relationship with Jesus is.
i've even noticed that grace has taken a far greater hold on nearly every aspect of my life! i am so thankful for where i am at right now!
this grace that spreads over a wretch like me and calls me by my name in Christ. I do not know what my name is, as God calls me, but i am sure that it is beautiful. I am sure it is spoken with lovely tones every moment i breathe, as he watches over me. my Adonai. my Adonai. my precious Adonai.
"i will press on, for the sake of your beautiful name..." -ZOEGirl, 'Beautiful Name'
i am one content wretch right now :)
God's peace be with you all today and always!
Monday, May 14, 2007
the only really tough teaching of Jesus...
is obedience. we all have our own ideas of the better way to run things.
and mine is a very liberal method of reform in respects such as fighting terrorism and homelessness.
to fight homelessness, every level of every government must get involved at the core, and earnestly strive to make things better for each individual. otherwise, simply kicking them out of the parks is not gonna cut it. which is obvious in this situation, i hope.
however, it is this phony "war on terror" that really baffles me. i know i sound like i'm just ranting, but this really makes no sense to me. they shoot at innocent civilians and bomb innocent civilians. they're no worse than anoyone else with a gun.
very few terrorists we hear about come from palaces. if any. period.
it is our responsibility as the "Developed World" to assist the "Developing World" otherwise everything collapses one way or another.
It is up to groups and individuals to see the real problem of global poverty here.
because obviously governments in the west are simply NOT understanding the truth. we must make them understand via advocacy, delegation, and simply making a lot of noise!
the problem of terrorism is not in who-has-what-gun...
it's in who-has-no-food.
you wanna fight terrorism, mr. pres... try feeding people who ask for bread.
i dont wanna judge you because i know i'm a lot worse, but i just hope that, as someone in a position of power, you'll remember one very important tough teaching of Jesus:
"Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!" -Matthew 7:9-11
after October 5, 2006 i got sick of yelling at you, mr. pres, because i realized i was just as bad as you. all i did was yell. now i wanna simply advise.
in a couple years i'm gonna be living in another country. maybe i'll even take on a new citizenship. but i'll at least be TRYING to do what you are CHOOSING NOT to do!
you an' me ain't that different, you know. i just see the truth as something i can't hide from. you see t as something to ignore.
i pray your successor's someone actually willing to be used by God.
maybe i'll find it easier to obey them if i see God in their actions.
if i can't forgive you, then i can't forgive myself... just give me time
and mine is a very liberal method of reform in respects such as fighting terrorism and homelessness.
to fight homelessness, every level of every government must get involved at the core, and earnestly strive to make things better for each individual. otherwise, simply kicking them out of the parks is not gonna cut it. which is obvious in this situation, i hope.
however, it is this phony "war on terror" that really baffles me. i know i sound like i'm just ranting, but this really makes no sense to me. they shoot at innocent civilians and bomb innocent civilians. they're no worse than anoyone else with a gun.
very few terrorists we hear about come from palaces. if any. period.
it is our responsibility as the "Developed World" to assist the "Developing World" otherwise everything collapses one way or another.
It is up to groups and individuals to see the real problem of global poverty here.
because obviously governments in the west are simply NOT understanding the truth. we must make them understand via advocacy, delegation, and simply making a lot of noise!
the problem of terrorism is not in who-has-what-gun...
it's in who-has-no-food.
you wanna fight terrorism, mr. pres... try feeding people who ask for bread.
i dont wanna judge you because i know i'm a lot worse, but i just hope that, as someone in a position of power, you'll remember one very important tough teaching of Jesus:
"Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!" -Matthew 7:9-11
after October 5, 2006 i got sick of yelling at you, mr. pres, because i realized i was just as bad as you. all i did was yell. now i wanna simply advise.
in a couple years i'm gonna be living in another country. maybe i'll even take on a new citizenship. but i'll at least be TRYING to do what you are CHOOSING NOT to do!
you an' me ain't that different, you know. i just see the truth as something i can't hide from. you see t as something to ignore.
i pray your successor's someone actually willing to be used by God.
maybe i'll find it easier to obey them if i see God in their actions.
if i can't forgive you, then i can't forgive myself... just give me time
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