in this video i only see a handful of whites who are not police (in this particular case the police involved with Troy Davis have been accused of coercion to reach the verdict against Troy that's now nearly had him executed THREE times!...
"...I must confess that over the past few years I have been gravely disappointed with the white moderate. I have almost reached the regrettable conclusion that the Negro's great stumbling block in his stride toward freedom is not the White Citizen's Counciler or the Ku Klux Klanner, but the white moderate, who is more devoted to "order" than to justice; who prefers a negative peace which is the absence of tension to a positive peace which is the presence of justice; who constantly says: "I agree with you in the goal you seek, but I cannot agree with your methods of direct action"; who paternalistically believes he can set the timetable for another man's freedom; who lives by a mythical concept of time and who constantly advises the Negro to wait for a "more convenient season." Shallow understanding from people of good will is more frustrating than absolute misunderstanding from people of ill will. Lukewarm acceptance is much more bewildering than outright rejection.
...
We will have to repent in this generation not merely for the hateful words and actions of the bad people but for the appalling silence of the good people.
...
I had hoped that the white moderate would see this need. Perhaps I was too optimistic; perhaps I expected too much. I suppose I should have realized that few members of the oppressor race can understand the deep groans and passionate yearnings of the oppressed race, and still fewer have the vision to see that injustice must be rooted out by strong, persistent and determined action. I am thankful, however, that some of our white brothers in the South have grasped the meaning of this social revolution and committed themselves to it. They are still all too few in quantity, but they are big in quality. Some -such as Ralph McGill, Lillian Smith, Harry Golden, James McBride Dabbs, Ann Braden and Sarah Patton Boyle--have written about our struggle in eloquent and prophetic terms. Others have marched with us down nameless streets of the South. They have languished in filthy, roach infested jails, suffering the abuse and brutality of policemen who view them as "dirty nigger-lovers." Unlike so many of their moderate brothers and sisters, they have recognized the urgency of the moment and sensed the need for powerful "action" antidotes to combat the disease of segregation. Let me take note of my other major disappointment. I have been so greatly disappointed with the white church and its leadership. Of course, there are some notable exceptions.
...
But despite these notable exceptions, I must honestly reiterate that I have been disappointed with the church."
-Doctor Martin Luther King, Jr, "Letter from Birmingham Jail"
...and people wonder why i am so disillusioned with the church and can no longer stand to attend most churches. there is so much jovial worship and so little gritty action. where there is gritty action i am unable to be involved and thus i only witness the hollow-seeming worship. it is too hard. were i to ever find a church CENTERED on SERVICE to GOD AND MAN... well, i would be there. but i seek the kind of church that consists of several people committed to various types of service and love for Adonai and fellow man. so, with this i offer up my reasons for stepping out of the common visions of "church" among most people i know.
i also ask that any others who are disillusioned with church the way it's so commonly done, and seek something different, even if it doesn't turn out to be "better", then i would love community with you and the chance to discuss and eat with you and do whatever we feel should be done. let us serve our God and one another.
Peace.
Salaams.
Shalom.
Friede.
Pace.
Pax.
Showing posts with label Community. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Community. Show all posts
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
identity in you?
they say i've got identity in you Jeshua, but they also say you don't love gay folks or black folks or Iraqi folks, that's why i don't think i want THAT identity, i know your justice is different from that of those that claim your name, but i can't handle it, i'm lost, unable to find just you, just you, simply you, where the hell are ya, i'm reaching out in every direction, to my friends, to my causes, joined NAACP SPUSA and one too many churches looking for me, not you just me, i got it wrong, and now i can't get it right.
how can you be so close and so far, how can i climb the highest mountain and somehow miss you, how can i seek justice the way i think you like it and never meet you in the streets, how can i be raised in the church only to founder at the age of 20, how can the church raise me and push me out of the nest, i don't really want church, i want community, i guess i was raised by one that has now morphed into counterfeit, counterfeit cash burns a different color, smoke traces give it away, put it to the test and it fails, see me hurting, no you don't, you're not looking, you're the counterfeit.
i can't find my identity anymore, i don't know where to start, i'm lost in a foreign state, a fresh foreign state of mind, i don't want a lot of readers i want the right ones, i want those i can read with weep with write with smoke cigars and drink with, all that in fellowship with the Rabbi, where did the Rabbi go that no one can show me what he looks like anymore?
a sip of peach tea i find refreshing, i watched a confusing movie today, wish i were home, wish i were at bcc even though i know i've outgrown it their too, not all change is bad but all change hurts sure as hell, i hate this limbo this extraordinary maze, where are you taking me you devilish white rabbit, you're such a pain to me right now, i really am in pain, can't you tell, stop running me in circles and stop for a second won't you, i need peace, i need restoration, i need community, i need identity.
but identity's gone, jumped the gun as i jumped off the wagon, joined a new caravan called college again, they say it'll make me smarter, what if cigars i've never tried are all that i want, what do you say to that you pristine white-washed vanities of vacancy of vision, invest in someone won't you, invest in a man in need of a heart transplant and stop shoving me those bandaids damnit!
God, sweet sweet God, i want what you give, what you have given, what you always give me, i guess i lost it somewhere along the way, did i deny it or have it robbed from me, only a few remotely understand me and that number diminishes, i know i'm not alone but i see so few who are fighting for what i'm fighting for, i'll continue to pray with her, it's been a while since that act, i miss our prayers every night, her sweet soft voice saying amen and good night, i miss knowing she was with me on it, but i stopped praying with her each night and i blame me alone, i am the cause of my problems, i want to come back, but i don't even know which way to go!
i had another chance to find communion tonight, but like so many beyond the walls of the "church" i refused the chance, gave myself an excuse, i've been hurt so many times as i've sought companionship in you Rabbi, don't make me try it again in the wrong place, i'll join the ranks of the gas station guy, he with his beautiful broken eyes, he and i the same are crippled and killed by the christian church, i find more peace with him than i have in a "church building" in a year or so now.
i don't know what i did but i have become your judas.
how can you be so close and so far, how can i climb the highest mountain and somehow miss you, how can i seek justice the way i think you like it and never meet you in the streets, how can i be raised in the church only to founder at the age of 20, how can the church raise me and push me out of the nest, i don't really want church, i want community, i guess i was raised by one that has now morphed into counterfeit, counterfeit cash burns a different color, smoke traces give it away, put it to the test and it fails, see me hurting, no you don't, you're not looking, you're the counterfeit.
i can't find my identity anymore, i don't know where to start, i'm lost in a foreign state, a fresh foreign state of mind, i don't want a lot of readers i want the right ones, i want those i can read with weep with write with smoke cigars and drink with, all that in fellowship with the Rabbi, where did the Rabbi go that no one can show me what he looks like anymore?
a sip of peach tea i find refreshing, i watched a confusing movie today, wish i were home, wish i were at bcc even though i know i've outgrown it their too, not all change is bad but all change hurts sure as hell, i hate this limbo this extraordinary maze, where are you taking me you devilish white rabbit, you're such a pain to me right now, i really am in pain, can't you tell, stop running me in circles and stop for a second won't you, i need peace, i need restoration, i need community, i need identity.
but identity's gone, jumped the gun as i jumped off the wagon, joined a new caravan called college again, they say it'll make me smarter, what if cigars i've never tried are all that i want, what do you say to that you pristine white-washed vanities of vacancy of vision, invest in someone won't you, invest in a man in need of a heart transplant and stop shoving me those bandaids damnit!
God, sweet sweet God, i want what you give, what you have given, what you always give me, i guess i lost it somewhere along the way, did i deny it or have it robbed from me, only a few remotely understand me and that number diminishes, i know i'm not alone but i see so few who are fighting for what i'm fighting for, i'll continue to pray with her, it's been a while since that act, i miss our prayers every night, her sweet soft voice saying amen and good night, i miss knowing she was with me on it, but i stopped praying with her each night and i blame me alone, i am the cause of my problems, i want to come back, but i don't even know which way to go!
i had another chance to find communion tonight, but like so many beyond the walls of the "church" i refused the chance, gave myself an excuse, i've been hurt so many times as i've sought companionship in you Rabbi, don't make me try it again in the wrong place, i'll join the ranks of the gas station guy, he with his beautiful broken eyes, he and i the same are crippled and killed by the christian church, i find more peace with him than i have in a "church building" in a year or so now.
i don't know what i did but i have become your judas.
Sunday, August 3, 2008
to be is not to be good enough, right? wrong...
a lot of people i trust have told me that God really just wants us to BE with him, to delve in his presence and exist side-by-side, heart-to-heart.
i believe that
but indelibly
i recognize i am a flawed reflection
of that.
as i'm going to divulge later to a dear friend and confidant, in far more detail than i shall here, i have realized that i fall into the trap of either of two extremes...
i either focus immensely on doing too much and planning too much for my life in the future, as well as in the present, or i fail to plan, entirely, and the moment the hope of something in the future fails, i feel as though i am truly alone, and i start wishing i had an other person with whom things could be... "significant."
and then usually, that doesn't end up getting me anywhere without too much pain, for i fail to factor in all that i've ever hoped to DO, and the BEING of that relationship fails.
kapput.
back to square one.
and the moment i plan too much i am attacked for not giving God room to work in my life and in my future, and i am forced to reckon with my loneliness again, even though i was doing a darn good job keeping it at bay as long as i had a task at hand or even simply a few distant, adventurous goals.
i don't like that i do this, and perhaps i'm not the only one struggling with this, but i am the only one who's made it plain to my brain that anyone's dealing with this. ergo, i shall make plans, for to not have any plans would simply be too painful...
but maybe if i find a way to make room for God's plans along the way in mine, maybe then i'll get it right...
i just wonder what kind of girl would be willing to do a journey around southeast Asia, north Africa, or Latin America on motorcycle (or two) in the style of Ernesto Guevara's "Motorcycle Diaries"; what kind of girl would be willing to leave this country for long spurts at a time and travel spartan across deserts and jungles, just to find the truth of human rights in a given corner of earth; what kind of girl would be willing to put any remote possibility of family on hold for up to a decade simply to travel with me, with our God, and with our desire to serve anyone we encounter, at our own expense.
that's what i wonder, and that's why it's always looked easier to roll solo down the road.
God, since you're in charge, you tell me what i need to do, or how i need to be, ok?
ok.
thanks.
i believe that
but indelibly
i recognize i am a flawed reflection
of that.
as i'm going to divulge later to a dear friend and confidant, in far more detail than i shall here, i have realized that i fall into the trap of either of two extremes...
i either focus immensely on doing too much and planning too much for my life in the future, as well as in the present, or i fail to plan, entirely, and the moment the hope of something in the future fails, i feel as though i am truly alone, and i start wishing i had an other person with whom things could be... "significant."
and then usually, that doesn't end up getting me anywhere without too much pain, for i fail to factor in all that i've ever hoped to DO, and the BEING of that relationship fails.
kapput.
back to square one.
and the moment i plan too much i am attacked for not giving God room to work in my life and in my future, and i am forced to reckon with my loneliness again, even though i was doing a darn good job keeping it at bay as long as i had a task at hand or even simply a few distant, adventurous goals.
i don't like that i do this, and perhaps i'm not the only one struggling with this, but i am the only one who's made it plain to my brain that anyone's dealing with this. ergo, i shall make plans, for to not have any plans would simply be too painful...
but maybe if i find a way to make room for God's plans along the way in mine, maybe then i'll get it right...
i just wonder what kind of girl would be willing to do a journey around southeast Asia, north Africa, or Latin America on motorcycle (or two) in the style of Ernesto Guevara's "Motorcycle Diaries"; what kind of girl would be willing to leave this country for long spurts at a time and travel spartan across deserts and jungles, just to find the truth of human rights in a given corner of earth; what kind of girl would be willing to put any remote possibility of family on hold for up to a decade simply to travel with me, with our God, and with our desire to serve anyone we encounter, at our own expense.
that's what i wonder, and that's why it's always looked easier to roll solo down the road.
God, since you're in charge, you tell me what i need to do, or how i need to be, ok?
ok.
thanks.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
a journey renewed... again.
if anyone reading this has known me well for over a year you'll definitely recognize these sentiments, especially if i knew you at the end of my spring semester at Lakeland. and there may be a few of you who recognize these exact thoughts if i spoke with you about this in Africa.
i wrote this a week ago in an attempt to understand myself and get some things out on paper. it was unfinished, but maybe i'll like it better this way.
--
my mind is racing. the Jesus of Peace. the God of Justice--would they think this right?
a monster taking on the bigger monster.
theoretically, in being armed, i can kill.
i can take life. not yet, for i am thus far unarmed,
but in the future. three, four, maybe five years, and i'll have the capacity.
but can i pull the trigger?
what hat will i wear?
will i be undercover?
will i be a badge?
or don a suit?
what about combat boots, camo, and a bandana?
will i go guerilla to "seek justice"?
will i be seen as a terrorist, murderer, snake?
or will i even ever really take a life?
in defending the poor and oppressed, will the Prince of Peace fade to the background?
will his call be lost in gunfire?
will i ignore his will?
if no one is to perish, perhaps i can help, and simply aim low-- just high and hard enough to bring them down so they cannot rise again.
can i shatter your bones in your legs and kick your face into the mud and know that you'll walk away from your crime?
--
tell me what you all think, please. every time i think this way i find something that swings me back to the other extreme end of the pendulum and i loathe any hint of violence.
and then again i see violence succeed in releasing captives of cruelty.
and then i remember there's no such thing as redemptive violence.
and then i think to myself, "is rescuing violence the same as redemptive violence?"
war is not the answer. invasion is wrong. occupation is wrong. but what about insurrection? what about violent uprising within a country in order to gain liberation?
i am stuck. i could go for a coffee date or a phone call with anyone interested in talking about this stuff.
peace.
amani.
veritas.
i wrote this a week ago in an attempt to understand myself and get some things out on paper. it was unfinished, but maybe i'll like it better this way.
--
my mind is racing. the Jesus of Peace. the God of Justice--would they think this right?
a monster taking on the bigger monster.
theoretically, in being armed, i can kill.
i can take life. not yet, for i am thus far unarmed,
but in the future. three, four, maybe five years, and i'll have the capacity.
but can i pull the trigger?
what hat will i wear?
will i be undercover?
will i be a badge?
or don a suit?
what about combat boots, camo, and a bandana?
will i go guerilla to "seek justice"?
will i be seen as a terrorist, murderer, snake?
or will i even ever really take a life?
in defending the poor and oppressed, will the Prince of Peace fade to the background?
will his call be lost in gunfire?
will i ignore his will?
if no one is to perish, perhaps i can help, and simply aim low-- just high and hard enough to bring them down so they cannot rise again.
can i shatter your bones in your legs and kick your face into the mud and know that you'll walk away from your crime?
--
tell me what you all think, please. every time i think this way i find something that swings me back to the other extreme end of the pendulum and i loathe any hint of violence.
and then again i see violence succeed in releasing captives of cruelty.
and then i remember there's no such thing as redemptive violence.
and then i think to myself, "is rescuing violence the same as redemptive violence?"
war is not the answer. invasion is wrong. occupation is wrong. but what about insurrection? what about violent uprising within a country in order to gain liberation?
i am stuck. i could go for a coffee date or a phone call with anyone interested in talking about this stuff.
peace.
amani.
veritas.
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Sunday!
today is the first sunday i've had off work since like two months ago! the weather outside is bloody brilliant!
(here's a look at my view from the library's second floor! and then one of me, chillin here, too!)
in about an hour and a half i'll have walked across a lovely little wooden bridge over a creek through many green backyards, and arrived at the house of some friends from church where i'll be worshipping with them together in the setting of their home church... i.e. church done the way it once was, back 2000 years ago... including a taco bar when we're finished haha! (ok, maybe peter, paul, and mary never had quite this kind of fiesta, but you get the picture!)
i had a lovely lunch, drove around a bit with the windows down, blasting great music and enjoying the view (for once, Indiana's farms actually become incredibly appealing lol!) and now, as you know, i'm chillin at the library while micah reads and i watch a couple old-school episodes of Disney channel's 'So Weird'... from like seriously 6 or 7 years ago! man this show rocks!
as i've come to discover... Peace is good, it is very good indeed.
PAX.
-archer
(here's a look at my view from the library's second floor! and then one of me, chillin here, too!)
in about an hour and a half i'll have walked across a lovely little wooden bridge over a creek through many green backyards, and arrived at the house of some friends from church where i'll be worshipping with them together in the setting of their home church... i.e. church done the way it once was, back 2000 years ago... including a taco bar when we're finished haha! (ok, maybe peter, paul, and mary never had quite this kind of fiesta, but you get the picture!)
i had a lovely lunch, drove around a bit with the windows down, blasting great music and enjoying the view (for once, Indiana's farms actually become incredibly appealing lol!) and now, as you know, i'm chillin at the library while micah reads and i watch a couple old-school episodes of Disney channel's 'So Weird'... from like seriously 6 or 7 years ago! man this show rocks!
as i've come to discover... Peace is good, it is very good indeed.
PAX.
-archer
Friday, February 8, 2008
youtube videojournalists.
youtube should hire videojournalists to cover major stories on an international scale... like, obviously i'd be vying for the ones with little coverage, concerning Human Rights.
hopefully they come around to this idea soon so that unknown stories can become world-wide. enough people post celebrity gossip and movie spoilers and God knows what else, that frankly youtube's creators and owners could really capitalize on having freelancers bring them video coverage of far away wars and conflicts and injustices (and other stories too, of course), but this would greatly have the chance to bring about change and prevent innocent civilian death tolls from being forgotten in the dark closets of inhumane government buildings.
youtube, i hope you're listening. i hope you take this chance. i hope you bring on the change.
PAX.
hopefully they come around to this idea soon so that unknown stories can become world-wide. enough people post celebrity gossip and movie spoilers and God knows what else, that frankly youtube's creators and owners could really capitalize on having freelancers bring them video coverage of far away wars and conflicts and injustices (and other stories too, of course), but this would greatly have the chance to bring about change and prevent innocent civilian death tolls from being forgotten in the dark closets of inhumane government buildings.
youtube, i hope you're listening. i hope you take this chance. i hope you bring on the change.
PAX.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
politics aside
Post Author: Archer
i read this AP article last night thru Yahoo News:
http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/world/20080130-1256-kenya-ethniccleansing.html
-'12:56 p.m. January 30, 2008
KISUMU, Kenya – The young man hefting a machete at the burning roadblock was frustrated. He'd been looking for five days, but could not find a member of the Kikuyu tribe to kill.
Members of Kenya's biggest tribe have disappeared in their thousands from Kisumu, making it the first – but perhaps not the last – city to be ethnically cleansed.'-
as i said in my last entry, i am no fan of Kibaki, and right now the thought of facing a Kikuyu in the streets terrifies me (and i fear for my dear friend Furaha, a non-Kikuyu Kenyan surviving in Nairobi right now and attempting to find a safe way back to her home in Kakamega, northwest of Kisumu, in western Kenya, not far from Lake Victoria.
i am no fan, indeed, but this is just digusting.
-'“If we find any Kikuyus, we're going to slaughter them or burn them alive,” 19-year-old Daniel Odongo said Wednesday, who wielded the machete...'-
KENYA!!!! shut up and listen! It seems your leaders don't care about you anymore at all, or else the over 800 dead would be enough to get them to sit down and talk. Face to Face.
KENYA!!!! ignore your leaders! let them deal with the politics themselves, but grow up and face your countrymen with love! put down your machetes and torches! let the civilians be civil and the government govern! Damnit, we don't want another Rwanda, or another Darfur, or another Somalia!
KENYA!!!! you used to be the beacon of light in East Africa! what happened?! were these ethnic hatreds too unbearable that suddenly you can't sit down to share the same bowl just because you disagree about who's won the election?!
KENYA!!!! believe me, brothers and sisters--we ALL have our opinions of who really won, and who should be in power and who should not! one of my friends, Doreen, has absolutely no intention of killing our friends Furaha and Patrick just because they voted for Odinga! i just spent five months surrounded by about 15 Kenyans who were divided politically, and there was absolutely no bloodshed!
KENYA!!!! you say you are Christians.... your nation is supposed to be EIGHTY PERCENT CHRISTIAN!!! where is your love, o brothers?!
KENYA!!!! show courage when you're not holding a machete! show courage and strength when called on to remove a roadblock, rather than light a huge tire on fire! show humility and be content with disagreement!
...if you cannot coexist in love and humility, may God have his way with you all, my beloved brothers and sisters.
stop staining your land, o beautiful Kenyans... stop killing your families...
God bring them peace before you bring them judgment. Yet not my will, but yours be done.
--Archer
i read this AP article last night thru Yahoo News:
http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/world/20080130-1256-kenya-ethniccleansing.html
-'12:56 p.m. January 30, 2008
KISUMU, Kenya – The young man hefting a machete at the burning roadblock was frustrated. He'd been looking for five days, but could not find a member of the Kikuyu tribe to kill.
Members of Kenya's biggest tribe have disappeared in their thousands from Kisumu, making it the first – but perhaps not the last – city to be ethnically cleansed.'-
as i said in my last entry, i am no fan of Kibaki, and right now the thought of facing a Kikuyu in the streets terrifies me (and i fear for my dear friend Furaha, a non-Kikuyu Kenyan surviving in Nairobi right now and attempting to find a safe way back to her home in Kakamega, northwest of Kisumu, in western Kenya, not far from Lake Victoria.
i am no fan, indeed, but this is just digusting.
-'“If we find any Kikuyus, we're going to slaughter them or burn them alive,” 19-year-old Daniel Odongo said Wednesday, who wielded the machete...'-
KENYA!!!! shut up and listen! It seems your leaders don't care about you anymore at all, or else the over 800 dead would be enough to get them to sit down and talk. Face to Face.
KENYA!!!! ignore your leaders! let them deal with the politics themselves, but grow up and face your countrymen with love! put down your machetes and torches! let the civilians be civil and the government govern! Damnit, we don't want another Rwanda, or another Darfur, or another Somalia!
KENYA!!!! you used to be the beacon of light in East Africa! what happened?! were these ethnic hatreds too unbearable that suddenly you can't sit down to share the same bowl just because you disagree about who's won the election?!
KENYA!!!! believe me, brothers and sisters--we ALL have our opinions of who really won, and who should be in power and who should not! one of my friends, Doreen, has absolutely no intention of killing our friends Furaha and Patrick just because they voted for Odinga! i just spent five months surrounded by about 15 Kenyans who were divided politically, and there was absolutely no bloodshed!
KENYA!!!! you say you are Christians.... your nation is supposed to be EIGHTY PERCENT CHRISTIAN!!! where is your love, o brothers?!
KENYA!!!! show courage when you're not holding a machete! show courage and strength when called on to remove a roadblock, rather than light a huge tire on fire! show humility and be content with disagreement!
...if you cannot coexist in love and humility, may God have his way with you all, my beloved brothers and sisters.
stop staining your land, o beautiful Kenyans... stop killing your families...
God bring them peace before you bring them judgment. Yet not my will, but yours be done.
--Archer
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
welcome Krissi!
Krissi is now officially the fourth member of the team (the third of the active roster, and the fifth to join the journal)!
please be as kind to her and her views as you have been to myself and mine!
she is not going to be an exact carbon copy of my theology and idealogy, so please don't expect it. in fact i've already told her that i want her to post anything she can think of on here that we disagree about already. there's not much, but she's definitely got a right to post her own stance and opinion.
God be with you all!
see you next year!
PAX
-archer
please be as kind to her and her views as you have been to myself and mine!
she is not going to be an exact carbon copy of my theology and idealogy, so please don't expect it. in fact i've already told her that i want her to post anything she can think of on here that we disagree about already. there's not much, but she's definitely got a right to post her own stance and opinion.
God be with you all!
see you next year!
PAX
-archer
into able hands, and a very able heart
as early as Friday, December 14, 2007 i and my partner, Punjabican, will both be unable to contribute here until next year.
it is hard to have to shelve this for now, but when i return from outreach (in Mwanza, TZ) on January 10, 2008, i should have some great stories and observations and other thoughts to post on here. she will be going on winter break from school, as of this friday, and i don't remember exactly when she'll be able to start writing again.
we apologize for the boredom that may ensue whenever you check into this site. God knows i will be bored without this so familiar arm of expression.
but we also trust that we will by no means suffer any loss of creativity and imagination and material to put up on here!
in other news, though slightly related, we're capping off our first calendar year with this blog, with our first anniversary actually coming next month, on January 12. when we began we had four writers. three are still on board, but only two of us remain active. on our first day both Punjabican and i posted about the beginnings of everything we were striving four.
i said, on January 28, "i am going to experience the hardest months of my life to date, this year." the entry was entitled "i never knew i could be so tired"
that holds perfectly true, even though i had yet no real idea of what it was really going to look like.
it's interesting to look back and see that despite our early idealism, we've all stuck to our guns. even the two writers who don't write anymore have remained true to their hearts, and to mine, as my friends, and i know all four of us did something right by starting this journal.
it will be sad to go for so long, writing nothing. if i get a chance to, i have one other friend, deeply involved with all that Punjabican and i are striving toward, and also a great writer--i would like to invite her to join us as well! and perhaps, Punjabican and i will leave this journal in her able hands and very able heart.
thanks to everyone on the team who has made this such a great year! my love and prayers are with you all!
Merry Christmas!
Happy New Year!
May God's constant presence be a blessing and a joy to you as seasons shift.
PAX.
Namaste.
Salaams.
Peace.
-Archer & Punjabican
it is hard to have to shelve this for now, but when i return from outreach (in Mwanza, TZ) on January 10, 2008, i should have some great stories and observations and other thoughts to post on here. she will be going on winter break from school, as of this friday, and i don't remember exactly when she'll be able to start writing again.
we apologize for the boredom that may ensue whenever you check into this site. God knows i will be bored without this so familiar arm of expression.
but we also trust that we will by no means suffer any loss of creativity and imagination and material to put up on here!
in other news, though slightly related, we're capping off our first calendar year with this blog, with our first anniversary actually coming next month, on January 12. when we began we had four writers. three are still on board, but only two of us remain active. on our first day both Punjabican and i posted about the beginnings of everything we were striving four.
i said, on January 28, "i am going to experience the hardest months of my life to date, this year." the entry was entitled "i never knew i could be so tired"
that holds perfectly true, even though i had yet no real idea of what it was really going to look like.
it's interesting to look back and see that despite our early idealism, we've all stuck to our guns. even the two writers who don't write anymore have remained true to their hearts, and to mine, as my friends, and i know all four of us did something right by starting this journal.
it will be sad to go for so long, writing nothing. if i get a chance to, i have one other friend, deeply involved with all that Punjabican and i are striving toward, and also a great writer--i would like to invite her to join us as well! and perhaps, Punjabican and i will leave this journal in her able hands and very able heart.
thanks to everyone on the team who has made this such a great year! my love and prayers are with you all!
Merry Christmas!
Happy New Year!
May God's constant presence be a blessing and a joy to you as seasons shift.
PAX.
Namaste.
Salaams.
Peace.
-Archer & Punjabican
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
think for myself
there are two different trains of thought that i find myself bouncing back and forth between here: the willingness to accept everything. and the need to contest everything.
this DTS is teaching me about these two major viewpoints of the world. and everyone fits into one or the other. for the most part.
on the one hand, most of my African brothers and sisters can be taught anything by our speakers at this school, and it becomes their belief, in a heartbeat. that's not always bad, but it's dangerous when several times teachers and speakers here have slipped up and delivered us false information.
which brings me to the next group. all of us westerners here (by far the out-numbered ones, running close to 7:1 on the base) often jump at every chance to complain about anything. it comes from being raised and schooled into thinking that as westerners we're always right. this is also dangerous (though contesting things is not always bad).
it becomes difficult for me, as one westerner (the one who'd at first been so open to complete assimilation with African culture, and is now seemingly the one most anxious to return to the familiar things in life), as i wade between two sharply different outlooks.
i have definitely grown to question a lot of things about human relations, theological truths, applied biblical truths, and crazy jazz like that.
the most interesting thing is learning to think for myself. as a dear friend of mine puts it, i am "the representation of the bandwagon fallacy." (thank you Emily!)
it's what you've got to do, think for yourself, remembering that no other human has any right to direct you, rather you must belong wholly in your own realm with the God you are in love with. God meets everyone on a different level. ergo at the same time as thinking for myself, i've also gotta be looking first at Jesus, and letting him tear into my soul, carving out the junk i don't need and establishing the throne i pledged to him there, at age three.
Jesus: "well, asher, it's about time!"
asher: "yeah, well, ya see... um... i never really realized what i meant! i mean, come on, i was young... yeah, i know that's cliche, but it works, right?"
Jesus: "how old are you now, asher?"
asher: (ashamed, awkward silence)
Jesus: "do you really not trust me with your heart and soul? do you really think you're the better driver? or am i just your 'co-pilot'?"
asher: "uh... Jesus?"
Jesus: "yeah?"
asher: "i haven't taken really good care of myself, already. you sure you wanna drive a junker? i mean, i'm no lamborghini."
Jesus: "have you seen any other lamborghinis on the road?"
asher: "not exactly. only in magazines and billboards and TV and what-not."
Jesus: "yeah. thought so. they're just fakin' it."
asher: "figures."
Jesus: "yeah, they don't let me drive either. they just make it out of their own kit. spit-shine and whatever else makes em look good. but they don't last. if you let me drive, asher, we'll last. you and me. that's all there is too it. no girlfriends. no porn. no beer. no joints. no pride. no gossip. no quarrelling. no disobeying your parents--*"
asher: "wait! what? hey now--"
Jesus: "...just you and me. do you trust me? really? good. open up."
so i guess this makes me wonder if i'm really thinking for myself, as the term would imply, simplistically. but, ah, what the heck... probably better this way, eh?
PAX.
-archer
*(though this is pretty much irrelevant to the blog, Romans 1.18-32 clearly outlines tons of other sins on par with homosexuality. yes, i have an agenda. i don't deny it. but this is simply the truth i wanna show here. but i'll write more about that later...)
this DTS is teaching me about these two major viewpoints of the world. and everyone fits into one or the other. for the most part.
on the one hand, most of my African brothers and sisters can be taught anything by our speakers at this school, and it becomes their belief, in a heartbeat. that's not always bad, but it's dangerous when several times teachers and speakers here have slipped up and delivered us false information.
which brings me to the next group. all of us westerners here (by far the out-numbered ones, running close to 7:1 on the base) often jump at every chance to complain about anything. it comes from being raised and schooled into thinking that as westerners we're always right. this is also dangerous (though contesting things is not always bad).
it becomes difficult for me, as one westerner (the one who'd at first been so open to complete assimilation with African culture, and is now seemingly the one most anxious to return to the familiar things in life), as i wade between two sharply different outlooks.
i have definitely grown to question a lot of things about human relations, theological truths, applied biblical truths, and crazy jazz like that.
the most interesting thing is learning to think for myself. as a dear friend of mine puts it, i am "the representation of the bandwagon fallacy." (thank you Emily!)
it's what you've got to do, think for yourself, remembering that no other human has any right to direct you, rather you must belong wholly in your own realm with the God you are in love with. God meets everyone on a different level. ergo at the same time as thinking for myself, i've also gotta be looking first at Jesus, and letting him tear into my soul, carving out the junk i don't need and establishing the throne i pledged to him there, at age three.
Jesus: "well, asher, it's about time!"
asher: "yeah, well, ya see... um... i never really realized what i meant! i mean, come on, i was young... yeah, i know that's cliche, but it works, right?"
Jesus: "how old are you now, asher?"
asher: (ashamed, awkward silence)
Jesus: "do you really not trust me with your heart and soul? do you really think you're the better driver? or am i just your 'co-pilot'?"
asher: "uh... Jesus?"
Jesus: "yeah?"
asher: "i haven't taken really good care of myself, already. you sure you wanna drive a junker? i mean, i'm no lamborghini."
Jesus: "have you seen any other lamborghinis on the road?"
asher: "not exactly. only in magazines and billboards and TV and what-not."
Jesus: "yeah. thought so. they're just fakin' it."
asher: "figures."
Jesus: "yeah, they don't let me drive either. they just make it out of their own kit. spit-shine and whatever else makes em look good. but they don't last. if you let me drive, asher, we'll last. you and me. that's all there is too it. no girlfriends. no porn. no beer. no joints. no pride. no gossip. no quarrelling. no disobeying your parents--*"
asher: "wait! what? hey now--"
Jesus: "...just you and me. do you trust me? really? good. open up."
so i guess this makes me wonder if i'm really thinking for myself, as the term would imply, simplistically. but, ah, what the heck... probably better this way, eh?
PAX.
-archer
*(though this is pretty much irrelevant to the blog, Romans 1.18-32 clearly outlines tons of other sins on par with homosexuality. yes, i have an agenda. i don't deny it. but this is simply the truth i wanna show here. but i'll write more about that later...)
Sunday, November 25, 2007
inherently.... which? (or witch?) --An Essay
Good vs. Evil
Joy vs. Suffering
Order vs. Chaos
Enlightenment vs. Endarkenment
Love vs. Hate
Care vs. Indifference
Law vs. Corruption
Which one would you say is more prevalent, of each of these comparisons?
in Lance Morrow's book, Evil: An Investigation, i have come face to face with something i never really wanted to believe or accept. this was perhaps one of my most morbid mistakes i've allowed within my own mind.
i had completely ruled out the possibility that Good was not the Rule of life, that which controls human thought and will. sadly, in this foolishness, i came to think that the world was shot to Hell, because of all the Evil in it at present (which may or may not have increased over the centuries).
looking at this 'Investigation' the Boston University Professor offers us, i find it hard to believe that Evil is not the Rule of life. cast in another light by Jake Pelfrey of the Chicago area, Suffering becomes recognized as the commonplace, with Joy as it's infrequent but always glorious counterpart--the breaking of the Rule.
Joy like a sunflare tears into the darkness created by the original Fall of Man. rather, since i'm not a fan of archaic gender selection, the "Fall of Humanity." ever since that moment--whether or not it's quite physically sound the theological representation of the Fall makes sense enough to me--humans have always been attreacted to their own will and desires. and normally what the human mind can come up with, it can often see as a feasible action. OBVIOUSLY, this is not the case with everything that enters our imagination, for we do not ALL desire absolute Chaos in our lifetime!
but these two writers have shown me the very blunt and dangerously concealable truth that i've been looking at the world in the wrong way. i've seen life and the World's events, both on a microscopic and a mammoth scale to be so devastatingly harsh and unruly, as the very action of breaking the Rule.
however, that thought doesn't stand in light of these recent readings. i find myself so easily contaminated by a hatred of the World's events. i don't think i have a right to complain, since is simply Right that is breaking the Rule. Wrong is left in a ditch to fend for itself as the spears of the righteous (in all facets of life) strike out and tear the darkness.
this revelation forces us to realize how likely it is that the real Evil in the history of the Salem Witch Trials, is the Evil that captivated the minds of those tightening the nooses.
--something just came to mind that should have gently began my conversion to this way of thinking long ago! i just remembered a lyric from the famous U2 song, called "God Part II", where Bono quotes from another famous Christian singer whose name i've forgotten, using the phrase "[i'm] gonna kick the darkness till it bleeds daylight!"
as Pelfrey says in his article on RelevantMagazine.com,
"After reading this I learned that I was looking through foggy eyes of expectation. Instead I should have been looking through the eyes of joy. Suffering should not overwhelm me, but instead I should be staggered by joy when it decides to shine through."
and Morrow points out the problem with conventional archaic views on evil, on page 17,
"Do not bother to demonize people as being inherently evil. That's not how it works. Instead, we should view evil as opportunistic, passing like an electrical through the world and through people; or wandering like an infection that takes up residence in individuals or cultures from time to time."
and again, Morrow addresses the ever-presence of Evil on page 4,
"Without an awareness of evil, people become confused; they fail to anticipate its ruthless possibilities. In the new instantaneous global dimension, it may be catastrophic not to think clearly about evil, not to be aware of what it is capable of doing."
Evil is not necessarily always present and working, but it preys on our already self-centered mind.
i must also say here that there are obvious holes in this outlook, once you look at people who really know God, and really know Jesus. as they begin to look more and more like the Godhead (the Trinity), they begin to have less of themselves and their own will. no person is perfectly free from their own will unless as Paul says in his letter to the Galations, "it is no longer [they] who live, but Christ lives in [them]."(2.20 NLT)
frankly, as far as i see it, this is a person's only way out of the trap where Evil can drift in, as it flows "from place to place along the channels of least resistance." (Morrow, 17) we otherwise become caught up and contaminated by Evil when it comes our way, as it drifts in and out of the minds of humanity. seven billion people on the planet. seems like Evil's got too many doors into this world.
and also, as far as i figure, Jesus is kinda the only way to pure Joy in this world. ergo, from our personal relationships with this Jesus do we encounter his Joy and thus have our own opportunities to share Joy and act in Joy, in Jesus' name.
this all sounds really preachy, i know. but it's the Truth as far as i can tell.
Pelfrey closes his article with this very approapriate subtle prescription for us all, no matter what faith we cling to, and whether or not we know the whole Truth:
"But we also learned that on those days in the dreaded desert, one may find a little flower blooming in the immense heat. Its presence is comforting, and the joy it carries is overpowering."
Amen. May the Peace and Joy of the Lord Jesus Christ dwell in you.
and again i say Amen.
Joy vs. Suffering
Order vs. Chaos
Enlightenment vs. Endarkenment
Love vs. Hate
Care vs. Indifference
Law vs. Corruption
Which one would you say is more prevalent, of each of these comparisons?
in Lance Morrow's book, Evil: An Investigation, i have come face to face with something i never really wanted to believe or accept. this was perhaps one of my most morbid mistakes i've allowed within my own mind.
i had completely ruled out the possibility that Good was not the Rule of life, that which controls human thought and will. sadly, in this foolishness, i came to think that the world was shot to Hell, because of all the Evil in it at present (which may or may not have increased over the centuries).
looking at this 'Investigation' the Boston University Professor offers us, i find it hard to believe that Evil is not the Rule of life. cast in another light by Jake Pelfrey of the Chicago area, Suffering becomes recognized as the commonplace, with Joy as it's infrequent but always glorious counterpart--the breaking of the Rule.
Joy like a sunflare tears into the darkness created by the original Fall of Man. rather, since i'm not a fan of archaic gender selection, the "Fall of Humanity." ever since that moment--whether or not it's quite physically sound the theological representation of the Fall makes sense enough to me--humans have always been attreacted to their own will and desires. and normally what the human mind can come up with, it can often see as a feasible action. OBVIOUSLY, this is not the case with everything that enters our imagination, for we do not ALL desire absolute Chaos in our lifetime!
but these two writers have shown me the very blunt and dangerously concealable truth that i've been looking at the world in the wrong way. i've seen life and the World's events, both on a microscopic and a mammoth scale to be so devastatingly harsh and unruly, as the very action of breaking the Rule.
however, that thought doesn't stand in light of these recent readings. i find myself so easily contaminated by a hatred of the World's events. i don't think i have a right to complain, since is simply Right that is breaking the Rule. Wrong is left in a ditch to fend for itself as the spears of the righteous (in all facets of life) strike out and tear the darkness.
this revelation forces us to realize how likely it is that the real Evil in the history of the Salem Witch Trials, is the Evil that captivated the minds of those tightening the nooses.
--something just came to mind that should have gently began my conversion to this way of thinking long ago! i just remembered a lyric from the famous U2 song, called "God Part II", where Bono quotes from another famous Christian singer whose name i've forgotten, using the phrase "[i'm] gonna kick the darkness till it bleeds daylight!"
as Pelfrey says in his article on RelevantMagazine.com,
"After reading this I learned that I was looking through foggy eyes of expectation. Instead I should have been looking through the eyes of joy. Suffering should not overwhelm me, but instead I should be staggered by joy when it decides to shine through."
and Morrow points out the problem with conventional archaic views on evil, on page 17,
"Do not bother to demonize people as being inherently evil. That's not how it works. Instead, we should view evil as opportunistic, passing like an electrical through the world and through people; or wandering like an infection that takes up residence in individuals or cultures from time to time."
and again, Morrow addresses the ever-presence of Evil on page 4,
"Without an awareness of evil, people become confused; they fail to anticipate its ruthless possibilities. In the new instantaneous global dimension, it may be catastrophic not to think clearly about evil, not to be aware of what it is capable of doing."
Evil is not necessarily always present and working, but it preys on our already self-centered mind.
i must also say here that there are obvious holes in this outlook, once you look at people who really know God, and really know Jesus. as they begin to look more and more like the Godhead (the Trinity), they begin to have less of themselves and their own will. no person is perfectly free from their own will unless as Paul says in his letter to the Galations, "it is no longer [they] who live, but Christ lives in [them]."(2.20 NLT)
frankly, as far as i see it, this is a person's only way out of the trap where Evil can drift in, as it flows "from place to place along the channels of least resistance." (Morrow, 17) we otherwise become caught up and contaminated by Evil when it comes our way, as it drifts in and out of the minds of humanity. seven billion people on the planet. seems like Evil's got too many doors into this world.
and also, as far as i figure, Jesus is kinda the only way to pure Joy in this world. ergo, from our personal relationships with this Jesus do we encounter his Joy and thus have our own opportunities to share Joy and act in Joy, in Jesus' name.
this all sounds really preachy, i know. but it's the Truth as far as i can tell.
Pelfrey closes his article with this very approapriate subtle prescription for us all, no matter what faith we cling to, and whether or not we know the whole Truth:
"But we also learned that on those days in the dreaded desert, one may find a little flower blooming in the immense heat. Its presence is comforting, and the joy it carries is overpowering."
Amen. May the Peace and Joy of the Lord Jesus Christ dwell in you.
and again i say Amen.
Saturday, November 24, 2007
what i am coming to learn, and coming to love.
please read this article.
i am relatively unacquainted with the truth of suffering, of hopelessness.
i am a poor missionary student.
no stable bank account state-side.
the poorest of the westerners in this YWAM DTS in Arusha, Tanzania.
the one who's broken two hearts in one fell swoop--mine among the two.
the one who's defied everything about my old culture.
the one who can barely afford to be using this computer.
the one who can barely afford to call home.
the brother and son missing his family.
the brother missing his brother.
the brother missing his sister.
the brother missing his dog.
the one who cries the most.
the one who has mood swings.
the one who hurts most among the team of students.
the one who has just recently encountered personal hopelessness, and barely survived it.
the one aching for ancient voices, both human and otherwise.
the one who is at peace.
the one who writes too much, reads too much, thinks too much.
...but is still held and loved by God.
just read this article.
if you think you know suffering, this'll step on your toes, laugh at your ideas, and then lovingly give you a better idea of how to live, and how to look at life.
Amen.
Peace.
Love.
Joy.
Suffering.
to You.
Amen.
i am relatively unacquainted with the truth of suffering, of hopelessness.
i am a poor missionary student.
no stable bank account state-side.
the poorest of the westerners in this YWAM DTS in Arusha, Tanzania.
the one who's broken two hearts in one fell swoop--mine among the two.
the one who's defied everything about my old culture.
the one who can barely afford to be using this computer.
the one who can barely afford to call home.
the brother and son missing his family.
the brother missing his brother.
the brother missing his sister.
the brother missing his dog.
the one who cries the most.
the one who has mood swings.
the one who hurts most among the team of students.
the one who has just recently encountered personal hopelessness, and barely survived it.
the one aching for ancient voices, both human and otherwise.
the one who is at peace.
the one who writes too much, reads too much, thinks too much.
...but is still held and loved by God.
just read this article.
if you think you know suffering, this'll step on your toes, laugh at your ideas, and then lovingly give you a better idea of how to live, and how to look at life.
Amen.
Peace.
Love.
Joy.
Suffering.
to You.
Amen.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Church ..part two..
"Jesus said to the people who believed in him, "'you are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teachings. and you will know the thruth, and the truth will set you free... So if the Son sets you free, you are truly free.'"
-John 8.31-32,36
all truth we ever learn is meant to point us toward the Son who truly craves a relationship with us. but, as Taylor pointed out, we are given the freedom to choose to live in freedom. or we can stick to our old ways. as many of Jesus' disciples deserted him in John 6.60-71, he humbly asked the 12, "are you also going to leave?" (v.67)
i can picture that revolutionary leader, already pushed into the ground by the religious leaders of the time, living his whole life both solely AS truth, and FOR truth. and when people refuse truth, whether given proof or no, it can destroy the good messenger. with sadness weighing on him, Jesus turned from the crowd to his twelve closest brothers, looking each of them in the eyes for a moment as he annunciated those pain-surged words. possibly on the verge of tears, he slows down his speech, letting each syllable bring his gaze to another apostle in the small huddle. the wind on the hillside is forced to the background of all thought for the apostles. the sun burning on their faces and the sand beneath their toes, uncomfortably shifting on the pads of their sandals--all sensation is forgotten and lost unto them. their leader, their beloved hero, the only person they have any real stock in... has just challenged them. perhaps, the apostles might think, if this is the messiah, doesn't he already know what i'm going to do? either way, they realize they definitely have the choice now. hard teachings will come a hundredfold by the time Jesus reaches Golgotha. this is one of the moments they can leave him and blend with the crowd.
given the choice, every time i face a hard teaching, it takes me weeks, often, to face up to what Jesus' words and example will mean for me. and these hard teachings will come a hundredfold by the time i reach Sheol. ever moment is one of those moments when i can leave him and slip into the massive deserting crowd. it's just too easy.
but with those eyes on the verge of tears, i already know i've got to stick by my master, my Father, the one who's invested so much in me. ignoring the sun, the wind, the sand... i've got to cross the line onto the other side. a daily Alamo challenge.
i think the whole Church faces it. there's not much we can do if we really know who we're hurting by saying no. if we really know who we're loving and pleasing by saying yes.
as each of the twelve cross the invisible line and move closer to their Rabbi--their Lord--they watch the tears in his eyes fade. a stray tear slides silently down his cheek. not one of the apostles blames him for it. greeted with a warm embrace, one by one, in the gathering dusk, this weak-seeming gesture is turned on its head and used in the most profound way it's ever been used troughout the course of all eternal history. in fact, they likely think, this is why i love him more--because he shows us how much he loves us. and this reciprocal love before the twelve sinners even have an inkling of the cross to come.
we know about the overabundance of love and sacrifice because the cross has already come. the Church needs to understand who she's betrothed to. we need to be faithful. to every word of teaching. to every gesture of acceptance. to every example of truth. to every ounce of real love.
Peace be with us all. in Jesus' name.
-John 8.31-32,36
all truth we ever learn is meant to point us toward the Son who truly craves a relationship with us. but, as Taylor pointed out, we are given the freedom to choose to live in freedom. or we can stick to our old ways. as many of Jesus' disciples deserted him in John 6.60-71, he humbly asked the 12, "are you also going to leave?" (v.67)
i can picture that revolutionary leader, already pushed into the ground by the religious leaders of the time, living his whole life both solely AS truth, and FOR truth. and when people refuse truth, whether given proof or no, it can destroy the good messenger. with sadness weighing on him, Jesus turned from the crowd to his twelve closest brothers, looking each of them in the eyes for a moment as he annunciated those pain-surged words. possibly on the verge of tears, he slows down his speech, letting each syllable bring his gaze to another apostle in the small huddle. the wind on the hillside is forced to the background of all thought for the apostles. the sun burning on their faces and the sand beneath their toes, uncomfortably shifting on the pads of their sandals--all sensation is forgotten and lost unto them. their leader, their beloved hero, the only person they have any real stock in... has just challenged them. perhaps, the apostles might think, if this is the messiah, doesn't he already know what i'm going to do? either way, they realize they definitely have the choice now. hard teachings will come a hundredfold by the time Jesus reaches Golgotha. this is one of the moments they can leave him and blend with the crowd.
given the choice, every time i face a hard teaching, it takes me weeks, often, to face up to what Jesus' words and example will mean for me. and these hard teachings will come a hundredfold by the time i reach Sheol. ever moment is one of those moments when i can leave him and slip into the massive deserting crowd. it's just too easy.
but with those eyes on the verge of tears, i already know i've got to stick by my master, my Father, the one who's invested so much in me. ignoring the sun, the wind, the sand... i've got to cross the line onto the other side. a daily Alamo challenge.
i think the whole Church faces it. there's not much we can do if we really know who we're hurting by saying no. if we really know who we're loving and pleasing by saying yes.
as each of the twelve cross the invisible line and move closer to their Rabbi--their Lord--they watch the tears in his eyes fade. a stray tear slides silently down his cheek. not one of the apostles blames him for it. greeted with a warm embrace, one by one, in the gathering dusk, this weak-seeming gesture is turned on its head and used in the most profound way it's ever been used troughout the course of all eternal history. in fact, they likely think, this is why i love him more--because he shows us how much he loves us. and this reciprocal love before the twelve sinners even have an inkling of the cross to come.
we know about the overabundance of love and sacrifice because the cross has already come. the Church needs to understand who she's betrothed to. we need to be faithful. to every word of teaching. to every gesture of acceptance. to every example of truth. to every ounce of real love.
Peace be with us all. in Jesus' name.
Church
"in relation to the Kingdom of God--what about the Church? firstly, she's not to draw attention to herself. as soon as she does so, she's lost the power and authority given her."
-Tony Taylor, of England (our speaker for the week, here at the DTS).
it's a grave reminder to me personally, as i begin an endeavor to write a critique on the Church's most "popular" problems she's facing today. perhaps common is a better word. but i'm sure that the former will actually shed more light on it, in some ways.
sadly, i'm walking a very tight rope in writing this little essay, since i am in danger of drawing attention not only to the Church, but also to myself. as much as i hope my [comparatively incredibly uneducated] words are taken seriously, respected and understoof... the last thing i want is the attention of others in the Church.
just as Marx and Engel became almost as famous as their Manifesto, and Luther as famous as his Theses (to the point where frankly all i know about the Theses is that it stood against indulgences, and i know much more about Luther himself).
it worries me that theologians generally have big names. Dr. King calls it the "Drum-Major Instinct". and i am not at all calling out any theologians for striving to be as famous as their theology. but it is interesting to me that they seem like they are not disappearing like Bobby Fisher. but then again, that generated more publicity than his known achievements.
so i guess it's not so purely an example of Dr. King's fear--though there are examples such as Bishop Spong--rather i believe it is a symptom of a leader-starved world. we're so lacking in strong leaders, as the world has nearly every generation since the Judges began to rule Israel. so, of course nearly anyone we can set our eyes on who knows what they're talking about, we nearly canonize them.
frankly, i've nearly done that very same thing to Tony Taylor as he's been teaching. it's so apparent that God's been speaking through him. and in realizing that we get blinded by the truth that is in front of us, and we stop there, we find an unsettling amount of admiration within ourselves toward the creation and not the Creator. we fail to move on, following in the direction the truth is leading us...
-Tony Taylor, of England (our speaker for the week, here at the DTS).
it's a grave reminder to me personally, as i begin an endeavor to write a critique on the Church's most "popular" problems she's facing today. perhaps common is a better word. but i'm sure that the former will actually shed more light on it, in some ways.
sadly, i'm walking a very tight rope in writing this little essay, since i am in danger of drawing attention not only to the Church, but also to myself. as much as i hope my [comparatively incredibly uneducated] words are taken seriously, respected and understoof... the last thing i want is the attention of others in the Church.
just as Marx and Engel became almost as famous as their Manifesto, and Luther as famous as his Theses (to the point where frankly all i know about the Theses is that it stood against indulgences, and i know much more about Luther himself).
it worries me that theologians generally have big names. Dr. King calls it the "Drum-Major Instinct". and i am not at all calling out any theologians for striving to be as famous as their theology. but it is interesting to me that they seem like they are not disappearing like Bobby Fisher. but then again, that generated more publicity than his known achievements.
so i guess it's not so purely an example of Dr. King's fear--though there are examples such as Bishop Spong--rather i believe it is a symptom of a leader-starved world. we're so lacking in strong leaders, as the world has nearly every generation since the Judges began to rule Israel. so, of course nearly anyone we can set our eyes on who knows what they're talking about, we nearly canonize them.
frankly, i've nearly done that very same thing to Tony Taylor as he's been teaching. it's so apparent that God's been speaking through him. and in realizing that we get blinded by the truth that is in front of us, and we stop there, we find an unsettling amount of admiration within ourselves toward the creation and not the Creator. we fail to move on, following in the direction the truth is leading us...
Saturday, November 10, 2007
good to go home. (remix: dated Nov. 18)
it's probably not too healthy to be thinking about it so early, but i'm going to be really glad to go back to Indiana, and to visit Cleveland and Kentucky again.
to some degree, there's the hazard of this causing me to be so lax and irresponsible here, thinking so far ahead--2 and a half months. but on the other hand, isn't it also incredibly responsible to be planning ahead for the coming journey upon my arrival.
no sojourn under God's eyes ever reaches the finish line until the sojourner is looking into the eyes of God.
i can't ignore that my work was never finished when i left. and i can't ignore the fact that i will be picking up where i left off with a lot of my political and social activism.
as far as i can tell, Lafayette isn't exactly Chicago or Seattle or New York, or even Cleveland. but that certainly doesn't draw it up short of people who care about justice--at home, and globally.
there are great men and women i am looking forward to working with, in various ministries. i also have hopes to travel back to my roots in Europe and spend six months there. i may have to spend up to a year working at Barnes & Noble in Lafayette before i get such a chance. but i feel that that is where God is leading me. i don't know really any of the details, or exactly where i'll go. but i genuinely feel that it must be God calling me into it. it seems so illogical otherwise. it doesn't fit with any of my previous plans and thoughts concerning Africa. always wanted to go back and visit Amsterdam for a bit, but nothing quite like this.
frankly, as much as i've try to "know God (and make God known"- as is YWAM's motto) here in Arusha, it's been really difficult, since i've had to deal with so much legalism and religiosity, inside and outside of my DTS. thus it's been too hard for me to really meet God and get to know him as my Father as he's been able to barely reveal to me, amidst all the stifling structure.
in other news, i've been really struggling with the leadership here. not all, but several by name, and sometimes sadly the whole entity of YWAM Arusha seems to be to blame-- for those of you reading this entry after Nov. 18, 2007, you'll have missed a very explosive section containing angry journal entries from last week. due to my father's wisdom and frankly a sense that i needed to remove it (just like Hayley Williams' second thoughts on some of her lyrics in the amazing song, "Misery Business"; just read about that in an old issue of Relevant magazine) my anger was justified as far as i can tell, it's taught me a lot about myself and the way i see things, and for now, i'm getting past the feelings of anger that i can do little or nothing about. i'm definitely learning what it means to stick to what i know, and who i am, as i'm under fire. the entries were removed because they contained names i hadn't bothered changing, and to someone on the outside, it could seem as though i hated them. i definitely do not. my anger has passed, but the lesson remains, and again i'm working at seeking the best out of this DTS. after the following dashes, the remixed version is complete. PAX--
again: your will be done, Father.
-archer
to some degree, there's the hazard of this causing me to be so lax and irresponsible here, thinking so far ahead--2 and a half months. but on the other hand, isn't it also incredibly responsible to be planning ahead for the coming journey upon my arrival.
no sojourn under God's eyes ever reaches the finish line until the sojourner is looking into the eyes of God.
i can't ignore that my work was never finished when i left. and i can't ignore the fact that i will be picking up where i left off with a lot of my political and social activism.
as far as i can tell, Lafayette isn't exactly Chicago or Seattle or New York, or even Cleveland. but that certainly doesn't draw it up short of people who care about justice--at home, and globally.
there are great men and women i am looking forward to working with, in various ministries. i also have hopes to travel back to my roots in Europe and spend six months there. i may have to spend up to a year working at Barnes & Noble in Lafayette before i get such a chance. but i feel that that is where God is leading me. i don't know really any of the details, or exactly where i'll go. but i genuinely feel that it must be God calling me into it. it seems so illogical otherwise. it doesn't fit with any of my previous plans and thoughts concerning Africa. always wanted to go back and visit Amsterdam for a bit, but nothing quite like this.
frankly, as much as i've try to "know God (and make God known"- as is YWAM's motto) here in Arusha, it's been really difficult, since i've had to deal with so much legalism and religiosity, inside and outside of my DTS. thus it's been too hard for me to really meet God and get to know him as my Father as he's been able to barely reveal to me, amidst all the stifling structure.
in other news, i've been really struggling with the leadership here. not all, but several by name, and sometimes sadly the whole entity of YWAM Arusha seems to be to blame-- for those of you reading this entry after Nov. 18, 2007, you'll have missed a very explosive section containing angry journal entries from last week. due to my father's wisdom and frankly a sense that i needed to remove it (just like Hayley Williams' second thoughts on some of her lyrics in the amazing song, "Misery Business"; just read about that in an old issue of Relevant magazine) my anger was justified as far as i can tell, it's taught me a lot about myself and the way i see things, and for now, i'm getting past the feelings of anger that i can do little or nothing about. i'm definitely learning what it means to stick to what i know, and who i am, as i'm under fire. the entries were removed because they contained names i hadn't bothered changing, and to someone on the outside, it could seem as though i hated them. i definitely do not. my anger has passed, but the lesson remains, and again i'm working at seeking the best out of this DTS. after the following dashes, the remixed version is complete. PAX--
again: your will be done, Father.
-archer
Friday, November 9, 2007
Eliska Dali
i know so little about her. but i had the chance to get to know her better a little over a year ago.
i met her on October 5, 2006, and never got to see her, or anyone else i met that day, ever again.
**that's her in the front early in 2006, protesting Alito, and the woman behind her is her counterpart. she doesn't seem to like being "safely distant" from her challenges.**
my brother, Micah, and i were at Willard Park in downtown Cleveland, with my friend from college, Bri. there were about 400 other people there throughout the morning and afternoon.
i was skipping a math class, Micah was skipping the whole day of high school sophomore classes, and Bri was skipping... God only knows what. that was sorta her thing last year. skipping classes, chilling with me (for the first part of the fall semester, until the lure of the Gamers' Guild dragged her away from me on most days :) ) during her lunch break and when she was supposed to be in class. oh no, wait, that day she didn't need to skip. October 5 was a thursday, and she only had classes on mondays and wednesdays. she'd come up to the school by bus just to join me on another couple of bus rides into the fringes of northern downtown Cleveland.
to march against the Bush Regime.
and that was where we met Eliska Dali. we had no idea she was one of the organizers and leaders of the protest and march, but since Bri and Micah (who'd come up with a friend of his, a kid on the school newspaper staff or something like that, to do a story) and i were clueless of how to get involved, we found Eliska early on. i think she was smoking. almost everyone there was. i probably stuck out like a sore thumb. maybe that's why she and Ray, another leader, came over to talk to us and hand out literature.
i was beginning to be really thankful i'd brought my satchel when i had found the need to put several newspapers from the U.S. Communist party in there to disperse back at school later. after handing us flyers and stuff for ourselves, we were invited to go to the heart of downtown: Public Square. we went there at lunch break on a thursday afternoon, and handed flyers to people in suits and ties, blazers and enough rolex merchandise to feed the city for the day. we also handed them to those who maybe weren't able to have lunch for the day. and of course in Cleveland, due to the oppression of poverty and the inadequte city systems, most of the latter were black. most of the former were, of course, white. and most of the former wouldn't even touch the papers.
and then you had the people who would grunt and walk off when they saw you. to be honest, we were a motly crew. Micah and i had really long hair at the time, we both had fingerless gloves. and not one of the three guys in that spot (Bri was the rebel, as usual, and was the only girl) hadn't shaved in God knows how long.
during the march, Micah was back somewheres in the middle, Bri and i were at the front, helping control the large blue banner amidst the terrifying gusts of autumn Cleveland wind. at one point Ray put the microphone to my lips as i held the banner in one hand, thrusting my other fist into the air with each beat of the chant we were all screaming.
those same men and women with the rolexes and clean-shaven faces watched from windows several stories away as i lost my voice, raising the morale of the 400 or so protestors, disturbing downtown rush-hour traffic.
it was a good day though. a pacifist organization called Food Not Bombs fed us at the end of the march, around 5.30 or 6ish. Bri lit up again. Eliska stood and talked with the three of us, as we finished our soup in styrofoam cups with plastic spoons that three other people had likely already used.
and then we headed out from there, and i parted ways with Eliska Dali and Ray. however, i maintined phone communique with both of them for several weeks afterwards, until the protest mentality in me died off, and my activism was geared once more FOR Africa, and no longer to heavily AGAINST Bush.
***
but recent events here at the base have brought that protest mentality back to mind. and Eliska's name naturally popped back into my head. i haven't learned anything of her fate ever after that day, but googling her name today revealed several interesting stories of her activism in the beginning of 2006.
i wonder where she is now. i wonder who she'll vote for next year. i wonder about too many things...
Love and Peace or Else, brothers and sisters.
i met her on October 5, 2006, and never got to see her, or anyone else i met that day, ever again.
**that's her in the front early in 2006, protesting Alito, and the woman behind her is her counterpart. she doesn't seem to like being "safely distant" from her challenges.**my brother, Micah, and i were at Willard Park in downtown Cleveland, with my friend from college, Bri. there were about 400 other people there throughout the morning and afternoon.
i was skipping a math class, Micah was skipping the whole day of high school sophomore classes, and Bri was skipping... God only knows what. that was sorta her thing last year. skipping classes, chilling with me (for the first part of the fall semester, until the lure of the Gamers' Guild dragged her away from me on most days :) ) during her lunch break and when she was supposed to be in class. oh no, wait, that day she didn't need to skip. October 5 was a thursday, and she only had classes on mondays and wednesdays. she'd come up to the school by bus just to join me on another couple of bus rides into the fringes of northern downtown Cleveland.
to march against the Bush Regime.
and that was where we met Eliska Dali. we had no idea she was one of the organizers and leaders of the protest and march, but since Bri and Micah (who'd come up with a friend of his, a kid on the school newspaper staff or something like that, to do a story) and i were clueless of how to get involved, we found Eliska early on. i think she was smoking. almost everyone there was. i probably stuck out like a sore thumb. maybe that's why she and Ray, another leader, came over to talk to us and hand out literature.
i was beginning to be really thankful i'd brought my satchel when i had found the need to put several newspapers from the U.S. Communist party in there to disperse back at school later. after handing us flyers and stuff for ourselves, we were invited to go to the heart of downtown: Public Square. we went there at lunch break on a thursday afternoon, and handed flyers to people in suits and ties, blazers and enough rolex merchandise to feed the city for the day. we also handed them to those who maybe weren't able to have lunch for the day. and of course in Cleveland, due to the oppression of poverty and the inadequte city systems, most of the latter were black. most of the former were, of course, white. and most of the former wouldn't even touch the papers.
and then you had the people who would grunt and walk off when they saw you. to be honest, we were a motly crew. Micah and i had really long hair at the time, we both had fingerless gloves. and not one of the three guys in that spot (Bri was the rebel, as usual, and was the only girl) hadn't shaved in God knows how long.
during the march, Micah was back somewheres in the middle, Bri and i were at the front, helping control the large blue banner amidst the terrifying gusts of autumn Cleveland wind. at one point Ray put the microphone to my lips as i held the banner in one hand, thrusting my other fist into the air with each beat of the chant we were all screaming.
those same men and women with the rolexes and clean-shaven faces watched from windows several stories away as i lost my voice, raising the morale of the 400 or so protestors, disturbing downtown rush-hour traffic.
it was a good day though. a pacifist organization called Food Not Bombs fed us at the end of the march, around 5.30 or 6ish. Bri lit up again. Eliska stood and talked with the three of us, as we finished our soup in styrofoam cups with plastic spoons that three other people had likely already used.
and then we headed out from there, and i parted ways with Eliska Dali and Ray. however, i maintined phone communique with both of them for several weeks afterwards, until the protest mentality in me died off, and my activism was geared once more FOR Africa, and no longer to heavily AGAINST Bush.
***
but recent events here at the base have brought that protest mentality back to mind. and Eliska's name naturally popped back into my head. i haven't learned anything of her fate ever after that day, but googling her name today revealed several interesting stories of her activism in the beginning of 2006.
i wonder where she is now. i wonder who she'll vote for next year. i wonder about too many things...
Love and Peace or Else, brothers and sisters.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
they say...
they say that when the last thing in the world you want to do is write, that is exactly what you have to do.
frankly, i'm so tired and bored, and completely out of pace with deep thoughts at the moment, and my fingers are in no mood to contribute to society that the only thing i can think of is the fact that i've hurt people recently, and i'm going to do it again.
there's really no way to avoid it.
i am called to discipleship, and it is a very costly thing. my old life has passed and though great memories remain, i know that when i finally do return to the states, nothing will ever be the same.
my hand is at the plow, i cannot look back.
God is calling me to rise up and give what i must to the simple phrase, "follow me."
and in so doing, or attempting to do, i've greatly hurt a number of people. some have voiced this hurt, while others leave it to be read between the lines of their words to me.
frankly, i know my apology can't cover the pain that certain people will feel because of this. for that reason, i simply seek forgiveness, scattering the seeds across the earth, some falling on good soil, ready to accept my apology, others falling on the cold, hard pavement. pavement so unforgiving i'd crack my skull were i to trip onto it.
the best i can offer is that i am mostly happy where i'm at now. God has opened up so many doors for me, of various kinds, and he's challenging me to walk worthy of his calling. worthy of him.
so i take the first steps out in faith and hope he gives me a new step before my foot slips through and causes me to fall a long way down. but he's always provided that foothold in the past, and i believe in it now more than i ever did before Africa.
here, i realize what true faith is. what true love is. what true patience is. what true learning is.
and in almost everything i've been unprepared. c'est la vie.
but that's the training of it. the beauty of it.
"consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverence. perseverence must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." -James 1.2-3
please forgive me, my dear dear brothers and sisters. some of you may find it very easy to continue through life's journey with me even now that i'm undergoing change. while probably many more of you will not be able to accept my changes.
i'm at the point where i am leaving myself back in Indiana and Ohio, and Kentucky, and coming here, willing to be re-born, willing to run the gauntlet, so that i may simply be seen as His. it's all i've got. and i'm glad of it. in my weaknesses, He will be strongly seen. in my failures, achievements beyond human capability will be witnessed.
and perhaps, as i believe he has revealed to me, Bibles will get into the hands of those who desire one. whether conventionally or unconventionally.
i pray you understand. i thank those of you who do, and i can't explain it more to those who don't. this is just what has come to pass.
i have heard the call, and now i must answer.
Amen.
Salaams, brothers and sisters.
frankly, i'm so tired and bored, and completely out of pace with deep thoughts at the moment, and my fingers are in no mood to contribute to society that the only thing i can think of is the fact that i've hurt people recently, and i'm going to do it again.
there's really no way to avoid it.
i am called to discipleship, and it is a very costly thing. my old life has passed and though great memories remain, i know that when i finally do return to the states, nothing will ever be the same.
my hand is at the plow, i cannot look back.
God is calling me to rise up and give what i must to the simple phrase, "follow me."
and in so doing, or attempting to do, i've greatly hurt a number of people. some have voiced this hurt, while others leave it to be read between the lines of their words to me.
frankly, i know my apology can't cover the pain that certain people will feel because of this. for that reason, i simply seek forgiveness, scattering the seeds across the earth, some falling on good soil, ready to accept my apology, others falling on the cold, hard pavement. pavement so unforgiving i'd crack my skull were i to trip onto it.
the best i can offer is that i am mostly happy where i'm at now. God has opened up so many doors for me, of various kinds, and he's challenging me to walk worthy of his calling. worthy of him.
so i take the first steps out in faith and hope he gives me a new step before my foot slips through and causes me to fall a long way down. but he's always provided that foothold in the past, and i believe in it now more than i ever did before Africa.
here, i realize what true faith is. what true love is. what true patience is. what true learning is.
and in almost everything i've been unprepared. c'est la vie.
but that's the training of it. the beauty of it.
"consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverence. perseverence must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." -James 1.2-3
please forgive me, my dear dear brothers and sisters. some of you may find it very easy to continue through life's journey with me even now that i'm undergoing change. while probably many more of you will not be able to accept my changes.
i'm at the point where i am leaving myself back in Indiana and Ohio, and Kentucky, and coming here, willing to be re-born, willing to run the gauntlet, so that i may simply be seen as His. it's all i've got. and i'm glad of it. in my weaknesses, He will be strongly seen. in my failures, achievements beyond human capability will be witnessed.
and perhaps, as i believe he has revealed to me, Bibles will get into the hands of those who desire one. whether conventionally or unconventionally.
i pray you understand. i thank those of you who do, and i can't explain it more to those who don't. this is just what has come to pass.
i have heard the call, and now i must answer.
Amen.
Salaams, brothers and sisters.
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Luke 2.10-- a letter to my parents yesterday
Mom, Dad,
...you're never going to believe this!
I should have first recognized the confirmation as i was speaking with Munishi about the Bibles for Edward and his family. As soon as i mentioned them to him, he jumped at the chance to help me find a need to fill. It wasn't long before he'd helped me once and had offered his help for the future.
this story all tied itself together today!
i am CERTAIN this is God's next step for me!
This morning, as i was working on my journal, i was finding clippings from my magazines to illustrate the topic of last sunday's service. Vera, our temp. base leader, whom i've already mentioned in several places, preached from Psalm 90.10-12, about "living a life of impact." as i gathered thoughts to fill that page in my journal, i began to relate it to my possible calling. i wanted to create a picture, a collage of several small pictures illustrating my role in the world. i took a small picture of a globe, stuck it onto a stretch of mountainous road from a Honda ad in WIRED, and put a running, jumping man's sillhouette at the other end of the road. the only thing missing was a picture of a Bible. i surprisingly couldn't find a single picture of a Bible in the whole of the Relevant magazine, sadly lol! but i remembered my friend Joyce's little tract she'd been clipping things out of. i went to her just in time and cut out the last little picture of the Bible in the whole tract. it was open and the pages looked more-or-less blank, so i went ahead and decided to write something on the pages. a verse that would fit really well. the first thing that popped into my head was the story in Luke where the Angel says "i bring you great news of great joy" or something like it. all i really wanted was the part that was the angel's message, not the part saying "the angel said...", since i don't really count myself an angel lol! i searched for that verse and found it.
I wrote the reference across the picture of the Bible.
Luke 2:10.
I went to town today and forgot about my journal for the most part, and almost bought another Bible, the English Standaard Version (the one used in SBS) in town, but didn't have enough money. i had also wanted to buy another swahili Bible or two if i'd found i had enough money for it, but as you know... i'm nearly broke!
so, i'd let it go until i'd gotten back and Edward was in the kitchen tonight after dinner when i took my plate and fork in, to wash them. as i washed next to him, he asked me if i had any other Bibles. i told him i didn't but i could get them. I'm sure God will provide the money for them. he told me there are 14 people in Masailand who need Bibles and he's already got 8 of them. I told him this is exactly what i'd hoped would happen after giving him those Bibles, that i'd learn more and more about getting Bibles to people. he was impressed and very pleased with that reaction. i was pumped after this reminder from God. so i just went straight to the dorm, and told several of my brothers in there that we need 6 Swahili Bibles by Thursday. they said they'd be glad to help pay. Thank God! they asked the price and stuff and all that jazz, and then i headed out, after finding the bag that Tyris had carried today, which had my Bible in it, and headed across the courtyard for the classroom, and i started looking around the room to see how many Bibles there were among us. i saw my copy of "The Message" sitting on my desk, near Derek's spot.
"hmm, Derek wanted this, might as well give it to him now." so i pulled out that bookmark the Kennedys sent us from the Chinese underground Church, wanting to put it into my NLT and left the Bible in Derek's place. as i glanced at the book mark yet again, i recognized the picture of the angel speaking to the shepherds from that story at the beginning of Luke. i suddenly remembered, for the first time since i'd written that reference, what i'd been thinking about this morning.
i was overwhelmed with curiosity about the actual verse in Luke that occuppied the bookmark...
five minutes later i was on google, searched "Chinese Bible", clicked on the first link and skipped to Luke 2.10, and compared the images with those of the bookmark. they matched letter-for-letter! the interesting thing was that they had left out the first part of the verse, saying "the Angel said...", just as i'd been thinking about it!
HOLY CRAP!!!!! i can't think it's anything less than God... no coincidence could ever be this great! i had no reason to think of those words this morning, save for that they were the first words to enter my head as i tried to think of a message for the persecuted Church.
Mom, Dad, ...do you believe it?!
I truly believe God had confirmed it now. first through Munishi. then through Edward. and now even through another scripture!
Praise God! please do Praise God! i really can't think of anything else to do!
frankly, i'm gonna go find out how we can scrape together enough money to buy 6 Bibles... the smallest, cheapest ones i know of are 7,000 each. that means (shoot, maybe i shoulda stayed in my math class!) .... um.... er.... um.... 42, 000 shillings (thank you Andrea and Jeff, sitting right across from me in the computer room!)
God will provide! i have no doubt in my mind! i'm gonna go pray now! 6 people need Bibles by thursday... and i only have 1,500 Tsh! time to pray, Mom and Dad!
I love you all! have a wonderful day! write me back about this when you get the chance! and of course, you're still in my prayers!
Amen!
-asher
...you're never going to believe this!
I should have first recognized the confirmation as i was speaking with Munishi about the Bibles for Edward and his family. As soon as i mentioned them to him, he jumped at the chance to help me find a need to fill. It wasn't long before he'd helped me once and had offered his help for the future.
this story all tied itself together today!
i am CERTAIN this is God's next step for me!
This morning, as i was working on my journal, i was finding clippings from my magazines to illustrate the topic of last sunday's service. Vera, our temp. base leader, whom i've already mentioned in several places, preached from Psalm 90.10-12, about "living a life of impact." as i gathered thoughts to fill that page in my journal, i began to relate it to my possible calling. i wanted to create a picture, a collage of several small pictures illustrating my role in the world. i took a small picture of a globe, stuck it onto a stretch of mountainous road from a Honda ad in WIRED, and put a running, jumping man's sillhouette at the other end of the road. the only thing missing was a picture of a Bible. i surprisingly couldn't find a single picture of a Bible in the whole of the Relevant magazine, sadly lol! but i remembered my friend Joyce's little tract she'd been clipping things out of. i went to her just in time and cut out the last little picture of the Bible in the whole tract. it was open and the pages looked more-or-less blank, so i went ahead and decided to write something on the pages. a verse that would fit really well. the first thing that popped into my head was the story in Luke where the Angel says "i bring you great news of great joy" or something like it. all i really wanted was the part that was the angel's message, not the part saying "the angel said...", since i don't really count myself an angel lol! i searched for that verse and found it.
I wrote the reference across the picture of the Bible.
Luke 2:10.
I went to town today and forgot about my journal for the most part, and almost bought another Bible, the English Standaard Version (the one used in SBS) in town, but didn't have enough money. i had also wanted to buy another swahili Bible or two if i'd found i had enough money for it, but as you know... i'm nearly broke!
so, i'd let it go until i'd gotten back and Edward was in the kitchen tonight after dinner when i took my plate and fork in, to wash them. as i washed next to him, he asked me if i had any other Bibles. i told him i didn't but i could get them. I'm sure God will provide the money for them. he told me there are 14 people in Masailand who need Bibles and he's already got 8 of them. I told him this is exactly what i'd hoped would happen after giving him those Bibles, that i'd learn more and more about getting Bibles to people. he was impressed and very pleased with that reaction. i was pumped after this reminder from God. so i just went straight to the dorm, and told several of my brothers in there that we need 6 Swahili Bibles by Thursday. they said they'd be glad to help pay. Thank God! they asked the price and stuff and all that jazz, and then i headed out, after finding the bag that Tyris had carried today, which had my Bible in it, and headed across the courtyard for the classroom, and i started looking around the room to see how many Bibles there were among us. i saw my copy of "The Message" sitting on my desk, near Derek's spot.
"hmm, Derek wanted this, might as well give it to him now." so i pulled out that bookmark the Kennedys sent us from the Chinese underground Church, wanting to put it into my NLT and left the Bible in Derek's place. as i glanced at the book mark yet again, i recognized the picture of the angel speaking to the shepherds from that story at the beginning of Luke. i suddenly remembered, for the first time since i'd written that reference, what i'd been thinking about this morning.
i was overwhelmed with curiosity about the actual verse in Luke that occuppied the bookmark...
five minutes later i was on google, searched "Chinese Bible", clicked on the first link and skipped to Luke 2.10, and compared the images with those of the bookmark. they matched letter-for-letter! the interesting thing was that they had left out the first part of the verse, saying "the Angel said...", just as i'd been thinking about it!
HOLY CRAP!!!!! i can't think it's anything less than God... no coincidence could ever be this great! i had no reason to think of those words this morning, save for that they were the first words to enter my head as i tried to think of a message for the persecuted Church.
Mom, Dad, ...do you believe it?!
I truly believe God had confirmed it now. first through Munishi. then through Edward. and now even through another scripture!
Praise God! please do Praise God! i really can't think of anything else to do!
frankly, i'm gonna go find out how we can scrape together enough money to buy 6 Bibles... the smallest, cheapest ones i know of are 7,000 each. that means (shoot, maybe i shoulda stayed in my math class!) .... um.... er.... um.... 42, 000 shillings (thank you Andrea and Jeff, sitting right across from me in the computer room!)
God will provide! i have no doubt in my mind! i'm gonna go pray now! 6 people need Bibles by thursday... and i only have 1,500 Tsh! time to pray, Mom and Dad!
I love you all! have a wonderful day! write me back about this when you get the chance! and of course, you're still in my prayers!
Amen!
-asher
Sunday, September 2, 2007
"Missionary Consecration" -before
It is Sunday, September 2nd, 2007. On Friday, September 7th, 2007, in the mid-morning, i will begin a day's worth of flights that will carry me from my last breaths in this country for the rest of this year.
It is 10.24 am. in about an hour, i'm going to be prayed over and "consecrated" at the church i attend in Lafayette, Indiana.
I am going to Africa, by God's grace and what is hopefully God's will.
I have gone through Hell in order to serve Heaven. emotionally. spiritually. mentally. financially. and even moreso emotionally.
but i am days away from slipping off my sandals and bowing to God to kiss the African sand in Arusha, Tanzania. whether or not i literally do all that, i'm not sure i'll have the guts to become a public spectacle! so, perhaps, i'll stick to just looking up and allowing God to take my breath away, as i step out of the airport, visa in hand.
i am setting out on a journey i have been living my whole life for, and one that will establish my temporary part in God's plan. i pray that more of my life is unravelled as i explore God and myself, and my brothers and sisters in Arusha.
i believe God will use this period in my life to draw me completely to him, so that i may be wholy his.
i believe he's already started that.
i am going to be ripped apart.
i am going to be torn.
i am going to be humbled, i pray.
i am going to be nothing but God's.
"When Christ calls a man, he bids him, come and die." -Bonhoeffer.
"He must become greater, i must become less." -John 3.30
i have always accepted the former, and never really understood the latter. but they coincide so much. this is where i must be fully accepting of God's will.
frankly, if he tells me that he wants me to stay on in Arusha, with YWAM, or to move somewhere else within Africa, i will not argue, and i will go ahead and do so. i aim to do as God asks. my Adonai, my King. it is he whom i must know.
when i learn the character of Christ, i will learn in whole, what God would have me do.
therefore, brothers and sisters. i become less. i tear down myself and i leave this country. possibly never to come back, if it is God's will.
pray for me. pray with me. i will pray for you. i will pray with you.
Peace of the Lord be with you all. PAX DOMINI.
amen.
It is 10.24 am. in about an hour, i'm going to be prayed over and "consecrated" at the church i attend in Lafayette, Indiana.
I am going to Africa, by God's grace and what is hopefully God's will.
I have gone through Hell in order to serve Heaven. emotionally. spiritually. mentally. financially. and even moreso emotionally.
but i am days away from slipping off my sandals and bowing to God to kiss the African sand in Arusha, Tanzania. whether or not i literally do all that, i'm not sure i'll have the guts to become a public spectacle! so, perhaps, i'll stick to just looking up and allowing God to take my breath away, as i step out of the airport, visa in hand.
i am setting out on a journey i have been living my whole life for, and one that will establish my temporary part in God's plan. i pray that more of my life is unravelled as i explore God and myself, and my brothers and sisters in Arusha.
i believe God will use this period in my life to draw me completely to him, so that i may be wholy his.
i believe he's already started that.
i am going to be ripped apart.
i am going to be torn.
i am going to be humbled, i pray.
i am going to be nothing but God's.
"When Christ calls a man, he bids him, come and die." -Bonhoeffer.
"He must become greater, i must become less." -John 3.30
i have always accepted the former, and never really understood the latter. but they coincide so much. this is where i must be fully accepting of God's will.
frankly, if he tells me that he wants me to stay on in Arusha, with YWAM, or to move somewhere else within Africa, i will not argue, and i will go ahead and do so. i aim to do as God asks. my Adonai, my King. it is he whom i must know.
when i learn the character of Christ, i will learn in whole, what God would have me do.
therefore, brothers and sisters. i become less. i tear down myself and i leave this country. possibly never to come back, if it is God's will.
pray for me. pray with me. i will pray for you. i will pray with you.
Peace of the Lord be with you all. PAX DOMINI.
amen.
Sunday, August 26, 2007
the blister on my left heel and the presence of God--part 2-------------------------------------------------------- or 'when and why i blog'
(i generally only blog when i KNOW i'm wrong, or when i THINK i'm right. interesting...)
i am not an angry person, but i am often very anger.
i am not a bitter person, but sometimes bitterness takes hold of me.
i am not a happy person, but i often know true joy!
i am not a perfect person, but sometimes goodness takes hold of me.
i blogged last night because i was bitter and angry.
Jesus only got angry on the behalf of others.
i don't think i was angry last night on the behalf of others. i am annoyed by the fact that because i dress poorly, walk barefoot constantly, and carry my most prescious books and trinkets in a backpack, i look like the kind of person who doesn't belong in the society.
that is correct. i do not belong in this world i live in. i'm talking primarily about middle-class america. as long as there is lower-class nigeria and bottom-class india (the untouchables), and upper-class western world... i belong at the bottom rung.
i will try to serve, in order to better follow the Jesus who i claim to trust in. the Jesus who knows me better than anyone, and knows just how broken and beautiful i can be.
but what i did wrong last night, was i actually got angry only on my wn behalf. the lower class world was not attacked. i was attacked by their prejudice. and maybe that means they think little of everyone poorer than they.
either way, they attacked me alone. this means my anger was unwarranted.
and i apologize.
i actually honestly wanted to invite that couple to dinner with me somewhere, just so i could better understand them, and explain to them what it is that makes me walk at night.
but i didn't really even tell them why i was walking, and who i was going out to meet. i am guilty of misguidance. i am guilty of anger on no reasonable count. i am guilty of selfishness. i wanted fresh air to meet with my maker, whereas all he needed was a stilled heart, and an empty room in this house i occupy. my bad.
forgive me, God. forgive me, my un-named brother and sister. i wish i knew you better and understood why you did not appreciate what i was doing last night. forgive me, brothers and sisters whom i do know, those of you who are supporting me and partnering with me and enabling me to go wherever i feel God calling me to go.
thank you for blessing me.
i am not perfect.
i am not good. ("there is no one who does good, not even one." -Romans 3.12b)
but i am trying to be like this guy Jesus who has both wrecked and resurrected my life.
amen.
i am not an angry person, but i am often very anger.
i am not a bitter person, but sometimes bitterness takes hold of me.
i am not a happy person, but i often know true joy!
i am not a perfect person, but sometimes goodness takes hold of me.
i blogged last night because i was bitter and angry.
Jesus only got angry on the behalf of others.
i don't think i was angry last night on the behalf of others. i am annoyed by the fact that because i dress poorly, walk barefoot constantly, and carry my most prescious books and trinkets in a backpack, i look like the kind of person who doesn't belong in the society.
that is correct. i do not belong in this world i live in. i'm talking primarily about middle-class america. as long as there is lower-class nigeria and bottom-class india (the untouchables), and upper-class western world... i belong at the bottom rung.
i will try to serve, in order to better follow the Jesus who i claim to trust in. the Jesus who knows me better than anyone, and knows just how broken and beautiful i can be.
but what i did wrong last night, was i actually got angry only on my wn behalf. the lower class world was not attacked. i was attacked by their prejudice. and maybe that means they think little of everyone poorer than they.
either way, they attacked me alone. this means my anger was unwarranted.
and i apologize.
i actually honestly wanted to invite that couple to dinner with me somewhere, just so i could better understand them, and explain to them what it is that makes me walk at night.
but i didn't really even tell them why i was walking, and who i was going out to meet. i am guilty of misguidance. i am guilty of anger on no reasonable count. i am guilty of selfishness. i wanted fresh air to meet with my maker, whereas all he needed was a stilled heart, and an empty room in this house i occupy. my bad.
forgive me, God. forgive me, my un-named brother and sister. i wish i knew you better and understood why you did not appreciate what i was doing last night. forgive me, brothers and sisters whom i do know, those of you who are supporting me and partnering with me and enabling me to go wherever i feel God calling me to go.
thank you for blessing me.
i am not perfect.
i am not good. ("there is no one who does good, not even one." -Romans 3.12b)
but i am trying to be like this guy Jesus who has both wrecked and resurrected my life.
amen.
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