How to NOT vote pro-life:::

i read this on my friend Kristy's sister-in-law's blog...

http://theheidaway.blogspot.com/2008/05/now-this-just-makes-me-angrydoes-it-not.html

i work at Target, pushing carts. i see a lot of bumper stickers in a given day.

i see this one a lot, surprisingly:

"i vote pro-life". an american flag waves in the background.

this sticker reeks of two things i hate.
1. nationalism (as a Christian recognizing a global family, christian and non-christian, this is elementarily disgusting and elitist as a concept--especially when it provokes war)
2. the term pro-life (which in-and-of-itself should be concerned with ALL HUMAN LIFE. not so, with the republican party, whom i would imagine they are meaning to show support for, by donning this sticker)

"pro-life" should mean what it says, but since there's not one political party (i can find) that dodges nationalism and a pro-death stance... i think it's BS to vote for any single party ALL the TIME!

don't tell me you vote pro-life. we can't vote pro-life. i can't vote pro-life, but i can try to influence senators and representatives and candidates for all positions of power to lean away from killing american babies too, since at least the democrats are less happy about killing Iraqi babies, so far.

i hate double standards.

get angry. tell somebody else. try to change things and REALLY work for a pro-life stance. right now, obviously not enough people are.

and yes, i have every intention of tagging every single person in my friends list. hopefully i'll get a reaction, sisters and brothers.

instead of "voting pro-life", elect to live pro-life!

PAX.

you provoke me

crawling in the mud, sticking to your fingers, caking your face. you belly down and ease so slowly, silently toward the goal.

the enemy standing at the gate. beyond it is all you ever cared about gaining.

behind you is all you ever cared about--lost.

at this pinnacle... this dare-devil collage of thoughts and racing hearts, your chest burns with everything you've ever felt.

swirling into one surge, one un-dying urge--a tornado of truth and heart.

you have nothing to hold you back any more. between the fences.

to attempt is to kill yourself. to forego, and remain, is suicide. if not worse.

when faced with the moment when the guard looks away, walks away, exists away from your goal--your promise--what not to do other than charge forth?

get up! go! race toward it with all your might!

even as the sights of so many guns bear down upon your bloody forelock, there is little left they can take.

when you can claim it all, just on the other side.

just outside the shiny barbed wire of Guantanamo, a boat is waiting to carry you away to your reality they tried to rob from you.

just JUMP!

God is jumping with you!

--

pax.

Food Not Bombs

i just called their number that i found listed in a couple places online, and i talked to a very friendly and easy-going Desiree, who's gotten hundreds of calls, probably, as so many people have been looking for FNB apparently.

she took my email and is going to pass along that and my number to people she's in contact with where she's at in Bloomington now.

apparently they're going to be camping out in northern indiana to block the building of a mexico-canada interstate, this May.

i don't know if i can join them, but i'd love to once i learn more about the situation.

basically, this is pretty cool, just thought i'd share it since i feel like i could really get involved in some stuff now!

PAX.

oh the places i'll go!

there's a forlorn city on the Horn of Africa that's been bombed to hell a thousand times over and the people are aching...

i want to go there.

there's an old prison-turned-museum where the photographs of history's victims are fading with age, in Cambodia...

i want to go there.

there's a 5,000-year-old city on the Syrian coastline that's full of old books with words that read from right to left...

i want to go there.

there's a country of real people outside the green-zone, where guns trounce dogs as man's best friend, and war rages...

i want to go there.

there's a world outside my world, beyond my New York Life, that bustles with real human heartbreak and laughter...

i want to BE there.

Adonai, my dad in Heaven, help me be as you.

i have a dilemma...

...that makes me feel childish, yet i am nearly twenty.

it is possible that someone is reading this who knows very well the person to whom i am referring, when i state that i have likely royally screwed up a friendship with someone i never got the chance to get too close to, before i went and buggered it up with short-sighted remedies of simple anxiety. and now, i am afraid to lose her friendship because she seems really cool.

maybe i'll get another chance, but for the time being, pray as i might for things to return to normalcy, i have no idea how i must act to fix this for the long-term.

anyone who's known me more than a year can gather a fuller extent of info simply based on experience with me. yeah, it's probably what you're thinking. and yeah, i need help, and suggestions.

this'd be so much easier if i just knew more people here. then i'd have balanced everything out to begin with, but i didn't know hardly anyone else, so i messed up by focusing so intently on one friendship that i frankly blew a hole in whatever had been built up.

tonight i went out with some guys from church (all at least 3 or 4 years older than me, which made me feel special) to see Leatherheads, after watching some Rob Bell sermon stuff at bible study, and it was really helpful to get out again, with GUYS!!!! when the freak did THAT last happen?! it was cool.

balance is re-taking what it once held to its own, and hopefully with this balance, and with my striving to give her just the right amount of space, there will be healing, and i will rejoice in that. for now, though, i'm content to be working in the right direction, and asking God to help me get there.

pax, everyone.

so i made a short

...it's all summed up from about 48 minutes of video i shot of a RISK board game with my brother and my dad, and then i've got some random footage from a walk through the park with my friend Christi the day prior. and then i needed some fun opener shots so i got some sunset-ish video during the game, right after one of my turns, and then i returned to find out that dad had rolled for me while micah was attacking me, and i had lost an army while the general was on leave... never. doing. that. again.


i had fun... there's a sequence of dice-rolling and troop-removing in the latter part that gets kinda tedious, but if you enjoy the song ("Silver and Cold" by A.F.I.) then you'll survive, i promise!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YovJIxBke1A


i'm already trying to plan my next short, but i need some actors... i need people willing to play as children. i need a bully, a nerd, a teacher, and a few extras... one way or another, i'll track you all down. i'm thinking of shooting at my church here in Lafayette, but i guess i gotta get some permission first. ;)

i'm planning on not being in front of the camera on this one, so um... have fun guys! tell me whatchya got!

Sunday!

today is the first sunday i've had off work since like two months ago! the weather outside is bloody brilliant!

(here's a look at my view from the library's second floor! and then one of me, chillin here, too!)





in about an hour and a half i'll have walked across a lovely little wooden bridge over a creek through many green backyards, and arrived at the house of some friends from church where i'll be worshipping with them together in the setting of their home church... i.e. church done the way it once was, back 2000 years ago... including a taco bar when we're finished haha! (ok, maybe peter, paul, and mary never had quite this kind of fiesta, but you get the picture!)

i had a lovely lunch, drove around a bit with the windows down, blasting great music and enjoying the view (for once, Indiana's farms actually become incredibly appealing lol!) and now, as you know, i'm chillin at the library while micah reads and i watch a couple old-school episodes of Disney channel's 'So Weird'... from like seriously 6 or 7 years ago! man this show rocks!

as i've come to discover... Peace is good, it is very good indeed.

PAX.
-archer

confession (round 2)

last May i posted about several major character flaws of mine.

since that time i haven't really had too many opportunities to say anything further on the topic of my character flaws. but now i've come up with a reason for that to change.

i've got another character flaw to address and willingly expose to the few who don't already see this in me. tonight i had a bit of a chance to reflect on all my past relationships with girlfriends... i was driving home from a Bible study where the leader's daughter (a friend of my little sister) said something along the lines of, "so, i heard you got engaged in Africa?" apparently my sister had not only blabbed to this friend, but to a hand-full of other friends i've never even met, not to mention this friend tonight told her mother, and i've already told her father, in another related discussion.

it doesn't really bother me at all that people know this about me (as long as i'm able to explain and contextualize that statement!) fact of the matter is that i was, in fact, according to cultural norms, engaged to a girl i met on my team in Arusha, simply because i found her attractive and she caught on. it was all a whirlwind from there. we ended up fine by the end of it, sticking to our single selves, however, somewhere along the lines i'd further damaged my credibility, and apparently, she had as well. or i had done so, for her. i don't really know, or comprehend it all.

the point is, including the fact that i've been engaged already and "broken it off" (though i was oblivious of the severity of it until about a month and a half later!) i've simply had too many girlfriends too deal with myself. i'm not proud of it, and it's shown me just how weak i really am in this area.

i wear a purity ring. it's a small, ding-ed up silver ring on my left ring finger. from over 5 feet away, looks like i'm married. i look over 20, sometimes as old as 26, apparently... basically, with this ring on, i look untouchable.

that's just the way i want it to be for now--i'm still trying to go a couple years on my own, just workin things out with God, since i really haven't had such a chance since my sophomore year of high school... ergo it's time for a bleedin' break!

basically, i mess up. i ROYALLY mess up. i go back and forth between the Reign of Over-Zealous and the Reigned-in Over-Cautious! apparently, subconsciously i think that firing both kinds of weapons will balance things out and create a pleasant, neutral reaction. sometimes i get lucky (i.e. not dumb) and i ease in a statement here or there, where it could've been quite explosive instead, and totally read in the wrong (or right) way! thankfully, that hasn't happened too recently... barely.

just trying to hold myself together, and keep my sights on Aslan, and not get too tripped up trying to play the field for the time being. i've done enough of that at this point. i apologize to all whom i've hurt. please forgive me.

hopefully this next stint on earth will prove better-handled.

PAX.

off my chest

when something's bottled up for a while and doesn't go away, it's cool to get it off your chest, even if you risk pain or perpetuating confusion. at least you've said your piece. and now i have peace. and grace to continue.



thanks be to God, my beautiful, adoring Adonai. for you have blessed a humbled man.

Smile Empty Soul vs. An Unforgettable Pair

i found this video on youtube.

the song's 'This Is War' by Smile Empty Soul

the lyrics are profane, but otherwise not graphic, and the scenes from Black Hawk Down are gruesome, but it fits, in a poetical justice sort of way.

here's the chorus:

"i drove in a car
i flew in a plane
to come to your house
and kick your door in

and now that it's down to this
it's just you and me
i'll blow your f----- head off
for my country"

----

i know half the time all i do on this blog is complain about war and war crimes and human rights abuses.

i know there are lovely flowers out there, but sometimes the stench of death and war can overcome the soft fragrance of flowers.

i don't think i'll stop writing about this stuff every now and then until every last person recognizes that we all need to be "anti-war" in order to let love in.

as an example, today after work i went to a coffee shop i'm falling in love with, down on Main Street today, just myself and my books, and a couple dollars. i ended up only reading about two paragraphs before getting so wrapped up in a fun conversation with Michelle--the girl who served me my regular 16oz. and a mocha that she decorated just for me, since she felt she forced it on me (just so she could make a pretty design) who's hoping to study forensic science in the fall (and already has the "geek's guide" to it--and Greg--a regular customer at Jerry's shop, a good friend of Jerry's, and an expert on experimenting with cigars and making jokes and being welcoming (who has a half-smoked cigar in the ash-tray of his truck and is happily divorced, and doesn't watch many movies).

it was cool. we talked about whatever, for almost an hour, informally, and i came to really like them. i hope i'll run into em both on the same day again, it was really cool. i realized that just having a conversation with them made me really care about them. kinda weird, and over-sappy, but it was cool.

if we just take the time (and have the guts) to talk to someone, we could enjoy an invaluable connection, and the world will become smaller, and nobody will really be a stranger (or enemy) any longer.

thanks God, you made my day with that pair!



pax.