insurgency reports

i went further into the wikipedia article covering Blackwater today and discovered, via a few links, al Basrah's Iraqi Insurgency Reports page.

it's interesting to read the difference in the incidents reported in recent days on the site, as opposed to those posted in 2006.

in 2006, most of their proud targets seem to be US and allied soldiers and marines.
in 2008, the tone changes and the targets seem to be primarily civilians.

insurgency is NOT illegal according to international law. in fact i completely understand the sentiments of the insurgents who want to fight back for control over their own fates. i don't believe we have a right to impose a government that's not wanted.
---
(i don't know the full situation in Iraq, so i won't start a tangent there, but i know that Somalis have been upset since December 06 when the US backed an Ethiopian invasion to install a secular government in Mogadishu, deposing the Islamic Courts Union after only six months of their stable rule in southern Somalia--the first stable government in 15 years! frankly, people are pissed, and things have gotten worse since they lost their own form of non-secular government. and maybe there's a similar thought among the many politically-minded Iraqi citizens, wishing they had their autonomy back.)
---
as i was saying, i understand the rise and reasons of the insurgency. it is perfectly legal, again, according to international law, if not local or state law...

HOWEVER: the LEGALITY of an "insurgency" drastically changes when CIVILIANS become TARGETS. and THAT is when it MUST be called what it is: illegal, criminal, terroristic crimes against humanity.

as i've said before, and i say often: i support the insurgents, just as much as i support the troops. i hate the war, and i hate the indiscriminate violence of both sides, though it's more-so being perpetrated by the insurgents.

these reports on al Basrah's website are chilling to read. it is strange to read reports of death or murder, at any rate, but when written so coldly, and nearly proudly, it is just sickening.

i don't know what is to be done in Iraq, or in Afghanistan (especially since i hear far less from the general media about the latter), but i know that the goals of both sides of the blood bath in Iraq (at least) have lost sight of their original goals and loyalties and LIMITS.

i pray for peace, and i pray for justice, and unless i am physically there, i don't know what else to do.

PAX.

confession (round 2)

last May i posted about several major character flaws of mine.

since that time i haven't really had too many opportunities to say anything further on the topic of my character flaws. but now i've come up with a reason for that to change.

i've got another character flaw to address and willingly expose to the few who don't already see this in me. tonight i had a bit of a chance to reflect on all my past relationships with girlfriends... i was driving home from a Bible study where the leader's daughter (a friend of my little sister) said something along the lines of, "so, i heard you got engaged in Africa?" apparently my sister had not only blabbed to this friend, but to a hand-full of other friends i've never even met, not to mention this friend tonight told her mother, and i've already told her father, in another related discussion.

it doesn't really bother me at all that people know this about me (as long as i'm able to explain and contextualize that statement!) fact of the matter is that i was, in fact, according to cultural norms, engaged to a girl i met on my team in Arusha, simply because i found her attractive and she caught on. it was all a whirlwind from there. we ended up fine by the end of it, sticking to our single selves, however, somewhere along the lines i'd further damaged my credibility, and apparently, she had as well. or i had done so, for her. i don't really know, or comprehend it all.

the point is, including the fact that i've been engaged already and "broken it off" (though i was oblivious of the severity of it until about a month and a half later!) i've simply had too many girlfriends too deal with myself. i'm not proud of it, and it's shown me just how weak i really am in this area.

i wear a purity ring. it's a small, ding-ed up silver ring on my left ring finger. from over 5 feet away, looks like i'm married. i look over 20, sometimes as old as 26, apparently... basically, with this ring on, i look untouchable.

that's just the way i want it to be for now--i'm still trying to go a couple years on my own, just workin things out with God, since i really haven't had such a chance since my sophomore year of high school... ergo it's time for a bleedin' break!

basically, i mess up. i ROYALLY mess up. i go back and forth between the Reign of Over-Zealous and the Reigned-in Over-Cautious! apparently, subconsciously i think that firing both kinds of weapons will balance things out and create a pleasant, neutral reaction. sometimes i get lucky (i.e. not dumb) and i ease in a statement here or there, where it could've been quite explosive instead, and totally read in the wrong (or right) way! thankfully, that hasn't happened too recently... barely.

just trying to hold myself together, and keep my sights on Aslan, and not get too tripped up trying to play the field for the time being. i've done enough of that at this point. i apologize to all whom i've hurt. please forgive me.

hopefully this next stint on earth will prove better-handled.

PAX.

high-octane

sometimes i think about how real my life is, in a way that it defies all "American Dream" reality, and rather focuses on what is truly real, namely everything that is going on outside of this country.

i am aware of the Turkish invasion of northern Iraq, to deal with the PKK rebels.

i am aware of the peace talks in Kenya, and that they are possibly getting somewhere great in the coming weeks and months.

i am aware that the Islamic Courts Union could very easily overthrow the secular Transitional Federal Government and its Ethiopian backing, in southern Somalia, after the ICU displayed its power on Sunday, by attacking military targets in Dinsoor, Somalia. (frankly, the ICU brought better stability and peace during their six months of rule, than TFG/Ethiopia has in over a year. i think ICU needs to gain power back.)

i am aware that Kosovo and Serbia may easily divide the world's powers along lines (and to extents) not seen in over 60 years or more.

i am aware that Chad, Sudan's once-peaceful neighbor (harboring so many Darfur refugees) is on the verge of failing to withstand Sudanese rebels and their attempt at a likely coup.

i am aware that Israel is threatening a full-scale invasion of the Palestinian Authority.

i am aware that the U.S. is run by war criminals and murderers, liars, torturers, weasels, and arrogant war hawks.

barely any of this is good news. Kenya may have peace. Somalia may have stability (after more bloodshed of course).

but there is the bad:

Iraq may lose its own identity as a nation, as it is divided up but foreign belligerent powers.
Kosovo may lose its identity as a nation simply for declaring it, as the rest of the world draws lines to fight over it's name.
Chad's toppling may lead to another extension of Darfur, tripling the size of the war zone and genocidal crimes.
Palestine may lose its identity as a nation, as indiscriminate [super-power-backed] genocide wipes out an entire people based on individual criminals.
the world may be crippled by whatever next move the U.S., Russia, China, England, France, Germany, Italy, and the rest of the world's most influential states carry through with.

there is a vacuum where there once was concern for human life.

the U.S. has broken nearly all its commitments to proper human rights--like the ones spelled out in the Geneva Conventions, the International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights, (and others)--or simply dodged parts of memberships, commitments, or alliances that would hold them equally accountable with all other members and signers.

and they say China's not fit to host the games. our Human Rights record is far worse... just that nobody knows about it.

Waterboarding & Torture: read and tell me you still like Bush

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20080214/pl_afp/usbushcongressintelligenceveto

i hate this. absolutely HATE it.

it'd be great if we could have someone mature in office sometime soon.

i should shut up now before i say something really bad.

so much for bloody human rights is the grand ol' US of A.

i hate this.

along this track, why don't we just go back to the "good old days (ways)" of breaking the Geneva Conventions and committing war crimes...


execution of a Vietcong soldier; photo taken at exact second of cartridge explosion.

way to go Captain America... you endorsed this.

Kenya: Kikuyu: Kibaki

i'm only a several hours' drive from Nairobi, here, possibly the closest i'll ever be to Kenya's capital in the next several years, sadly.

and everything in Kenya has been pretty much shot to hell.

i've become so absorbed with all the news from Kenya since things started getting fishy only several days after Christmas, with the Election Commission delaying in publishing the winner of the race.

and a couple nights ago i had coffee with John, the base leader here, his wife Jesinta, K-K, Jeff, and Megan. John and his wife are Kenyans, living here in Arusha, running the base. the other four of us are all from the west.

Jesinta left us as the conversation shifted toward politics and the night wore on, for she had children to tend to for bedtime.

a couple other guests had already left, and gone to bed. thus it was only the five of us, with John and i in the thick of it, since i'm the only westerner who's really been following the whole thing.

i found out that Kibaki, the "president" of Kenya (who nearly undoubtedly won by mass rigging of the votes), who has already run the country for 5 years, has nearly backed himself into a corner. i pointed out that i'm surprised no one's assassinated him yet.

John told me that if things keep going the way they are for maybe only another two months, it's not too far-fetched of an idea.

either way, among his options are:
resigning.
going to court.
calling for a re-election which will bring about the first two options, probably, since he'll lose.
or being killed.

brother Kibaki, what have you done?
i do not pity you. i do not sympathize with you at all. if you even still cared about your own people, the Kikuyus, then maybe i'd feel bad for you. but you don't. their deaths and displacement mean nothing to you.

you are my brother, only as long as you remain human. you're nearing that boundary, and i fear you'll cross it, brother.

i cannot wait for justice to be dealt to you and yours.

step down and allow Odinga to save your countrymen.

heat

the heat is on.
i feel idle once again.
i feel a waste of energy and knowledge.
i need to be out there.
gotta go fight.

the heat is on.

i picked up 'Not On Our Watch' again, after over a month. just in the mood for something political and activism-related. and now i feel more lost than ever.

missions is important, and not more or less important than justice, i believe. frankly, i think Jesus seemed to emphasize how we are to live more than what we are living for in the end. i could be wrong. but that's just the impression i get.

i feel idle once again.

i'm in Africa, but there's so little i can do. i can't give money since i'm so low on it myself. i can't write letters since letters across Africa rarely seem to make it where they're going (sent one to Dodoma, TZ, from here, and one to Capetown--two months ago. no reply.)

i miss lobbying with my colleague Bethany P. she and i were a good team. we hit two congresspersons from Ohio in one week, while thousands of other Amnesty activists were doing the same nation-wide. and that was back in March. i can't do anything like that here. in Darfur, people are still targets.

i feel a waste of energy and knowledge.

i learned a lot about Darfur and other issues like it, while working with Bethany in the spring. i've learned a lot while reading this book. i've learned a lot from peers and fellow passionate people.

i'm nearly consumed by the energy for this task. i'm at the point where i'm willing to pull out anything i can from companies my Roth IRA is invested in, if they're in any way connected to Sudan. i'll march straight up Capital Hill chanting if you give me a chance.

i need to be out there.

sitting here, with all this energy cooped up inside me, feeling so useless and yet so potent, i can think of only two solutions: either go to Khartoum personally, or likewise to D.C.

i need to be among the ranks of the marchers, the lobbyists, the mega-phone shouters and screamers, the political writers and journalists, the eager students and sacrificial soldiers. but i'm here, with an ever watchful eye for just such an opportunity.

gotta go fight.

standing at the edge of the cliff, what else is there to do. i've been backed into the corner by the indifference and ignorance around me. the people with the blank faces don't realize where i am, how close i am to the edge.

but now i've gotta take a stand, raise the banner, draw attention, raise awareness. shake things up. fight. things get dirty when people raise havoc. quiet is more destructive than loud protest. i gotta go join the fight.

Get into gear and make some noise.
-Archer

think for myself

there are two different trains of thought that i find myself bouncing back and forth between here: the willingness to accept everything. and the need to contest everything.

this DTS is teaching me about these two major viewpoints of the world. and everyone fits into one or the other. for the most part.

on the one hand, most of my African brothers and sisters can be taught anything by our speakers at this school, and it becomes their belief, in a heartbeat. that's not always bad, but it's dangerous when several times teachers and speakers here have slipped up and delivered us false information.

which brings me to the next group. all of us westerners here (by far the out-numbered ones, running close to 7:1 on the base) often jump at every chance to complain about anything. it comes from being raised and schooled into thinking that as westerners we're always right. this is also dangerous (though contesting things is not always bad).

it becomes difficult for me, as one westerner (the one who'd at first been so open to complete assimilation with African culture, and is now seemingly the one most anxious to return to the familiar things in life), as i wade between two sharply different outlooks.

i have definitely grown to question a lot of things about human relations, theological truths, applied biblical truths, and crazy jazz like that.

the most interesting thing is learning to think for myself. as a dear friend of mine puts it, i am "the representation of the bandwagon fallacy." (thank you Emily!)

it's what you've got to do, think for yourself, remembering that no other human has any right to direct you, rather you must belong wholly in your own realm with the God you are in love with. God meets everyone on a different level. ergo at the same time as thinking for myself, i've also gotta be looking first at Jesus, and letting him tear into my soul, carving out the junk i don't need and establishing the throne i pledged to him there, at age three.

Jesus: "well, asher, it's about time!"
asher: "yeah, well, ya see... um... i never really realized what i meant! i mean, come on, i was young... yeah, i know that's cliche, but it works, right?"
Jesus: "how old are you now, asher?"
asher: (ashamed, awkward silence)
Jesus: "do you really not trust me with your heart and soul? do you really think you're the better driver? or am i just your 'co-pilot'?"
asher: "uh... Jesus?"
Jesus: "yeah?"
asher: "i haven't taken really good care of myself, already. you sure you wanna drive a junker? i mean, i'm no lamborghini."
Jesus: "have you seen any other lamborghinis on the road?"
asher: "not exactly. only in magazines and billboards and TV and what-not."
Jesus: "yeah. thought so. they're just fakin' it."
asher: "figures."
Jesus: "yeah, they don't let me drive either. they just make it out of their own kit. spit-shine and whatever else makes em look good. but they don't last. if you let me drive, asher, we'll last. you and me. that's all there is too it. no girlfriends. no porn. no beer. no joints. no pride. no gossip. no quarrelling. no disobeying your parents--*"
asher: "wait! what? hey now--"
Jesus: "...just you and me. do you trust me? really? good. open up."

so i guess this makes me wonder if i'm really thinking for myself, as the term would imply, simplistically. but, ah, what the heck... probably better this way, eh?

PAX.
-archer



*(though this is pretty much irrelevant to the blog, Romans 1.18-32 clearly outlines tons of other sins on par with homosexuality. yes, i have an agenda. i don't deny it. but this is simply the truth i wanna show here. but i'll write more about that later...)

what i am coming to learn, and coming to love.

please read this article.

i am relatively unacquainted with the truth of suffering, of hopelessness.

i am a poor missionary student.
no stable bank account state-side.
the poorest of the westerners in this YWAM DTS in Arusha, Tanzania.
the one who's broken two hearts in one fell swoop--mine among the two.
the one who's defied everything about my old culture.
the one who can barely afford to be using this computer.
the one who can barely afford to call home.
the brother and son missing his family.
the brother missing his brother.
the brother missing his sister.
the brother missing his dog.
the one who cries the most.
the one who has mood swings.
the one who hurts most among the team of students.
the one who has just recently encountered personal hopelessness, and barely survived it.
the one aching for ancient voices, both human and otherwise.
the one who is at peace.
the one who writes too much, reads too much, thinks too much.
...but is still held and loved by God.

just read this article.

if you think you know suffering, this'll step on your toes, laugh at your ideas, and then lovingly give you a better idea of how to live, and how to look at life.

Amen.
Peace.
Love.
Joy.
Suffering.
to You.
Amen.

they say...

they say that when the last thing in the world you want to do is write, that is exactly what you have to do.

frankly, i'm so tired and bored, and completely out of pace with deep thoughts at the moment, and my fingers are in no mood to contribute to society that the only thing i can think of is the fact that i've hurt people recently, and i'm going to do it again.

there's really no way to avoid it.

i am called to discipleship, and it is a very costly thing. my old life has passed and though great memories remain, i know that when i finally do return to the states, nothing will ever be the same.

my hand is at the plow, i cannot look back.

God is calling me to rise up and give what i must to the simple phrase, "follow me."

and in so doing, or attempting to do, i've greatly hurt a number of people. some have voiced this hurt, while others leave it to be read between the lines of their words to me.

frankly, i know my apology can't cover the pain that certain people will feel because of this. for that reason, i simply seek forgiveness, scattering the seeds across the earth, some falling on good soil, ready to accept my apology, others falling on the cold, hard pavement. pavement so unforgiving i'd crack my skull were i to trip onto it.

the best i can offer is that i am mostly happy where i'm at now. God has opened up so many doors for me, of various kinds, and he's challenging me to walk worthy of his calling. worthy of him.

so i take the first steps out in faith and hope he gives me a new step before my foot slips through and causes me to fall a long way down. but he's always provided that foothold in the past, and i believe in it now more than i ever did before Africa.

here, i realize what true faith is. what true love is. what true patience is. what true learning is.

and in almost everything i've been unprepared. c'est la vie.
but that's the training of it. the beauty of it.

"consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverence. perseverence must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." -James 1.2-3

please forgive me, my dear dear brothers and sisters. some of you may find it very easy to continue through life's journey with me even now that i'm undergoing change. while probably many more of you will not be able to accept my changes.

i'm at the point where i am leaving myself back in Indiana and Ohio, and Kentucky, and coming here, willing to be re-born, willing to run the gauntlet, so that i may simply be seen as His. it's all i've got. and i'm glad of it. in my weaknesses, He will be strongly seen. in my failures, achievements beyond human capability will be witnessed.

and perhaps, as i believe he has revealed to me, Bibles will get into the hands of those who desire one. whether conventionally or unconventionally.

i pray you understand. i thank those of you who do, and i can't explain it more to those who don't. this is just what has come to pass.

i have heard the call, and now i must answer.
Amen.

Salaams, brothers and sisters.